Disclaimer: The CBTD characters are properties of Twenty Century Fox, Robert Simmons Productions, Director Shawn Levy, and based on the books of Frank Bunker Gilbreth Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey. Spot my name in that string of names? Nope? That's right. None of them belongs to me. Except for the plot for this whole fic, and a few characters as they pop up along the way.
A/N: I'm terribly sorry for the long break in updating this fic. I guess I have lost my funk and excitement in writing them but don't fret; I'm back, for now at least. I have a vision that I want to make this fic into an epic. Err, not exactly an epic but a long series. However, we'll see when the time comes whether I continue writing for this fic or write another one. Hopefully, it's the former cos' I doubt I have any more plots to write another CBTD fic.
Rating: PG-13. Contains some acts of violence: e.g., chucking small objects to people's heads. Other than that, this story is harmless.
Reviewers: What more can I say? Thanks for glancing at this fic when it came out under Miscellaneous Movies and taking the time to read throughout the chapters right up to this point. The power of reviews is that it can really boost a writer's ego and hopefully, it'll encourage them to write more chapters! And again, I apologize to those who are really following this story although there's not much plot in my chapters cos' most of them are just filler chapters.
Points to note about this fic: I made Jake and Sarah to be about the same age, which is thirteen years old. Somehow, in the movie, I didn't accept that Sarah was older than Jake because Jake looks so much older than her and taller. I guess, Girls do mature faster than boys, and they wanted to make Sarah the chief troublemaker in the Baker family, so that's why they probably made her older I think. But they're not twins, although compared to the rest of the cast members; they tend to look the most siblings like due to the same hair and facial appearance.
The Split of the Dozen
By avren
12 + The Dinner
"Could you pass the salad please?" Mark asked Fern, who sat the closest to the salad bowl.
"Sure no problem, err..." Fern paused, unsure of the name of the young redhead speaking to her.
"It's Mark," he piped.
"Right. Mark," she smiled and passed the huge bowl over to him. "Here you go."
"Thanks." He said and began scooping the salad onto his plate. Charlie suddenly spoke up.
"Opps, so sorry. Forgot to introduce the rest of my family to you." Charlie apologized, and he proceeded to introduce the rest of the family to Fern, who smiled and nodded at each and every one of them. Once everyone was properly introduced, they went ahead with their dinner, peacefully, at first, until Lorraine spoke up.
"So Fern, you got any brothers?" She asked expectantly, as she took a bite off her celery stick and looked on curiously to Fern.
" Lorraine!" Charlie chided while the rest of them just sniggered.
"What? I just wanted to know if she has any other siblings," she cried out in defense, "cos' you know," she said casually, "I've got seven of them, so feel free to take one home. Or two."
"HEY!" The guys cried out in protest while the female ones chuckled in amusement.
"Sure! I'd love to!" Fern laughed, playing along to Lorraine's teasing. A look of horror was plastered on all the six of the guys' faces, except for Henry, who looked quite thrilled at the prospect of Fern bringing one of them home.
"Close your mouth Henry! You're practically drooling all over your dinner," Sarah whispered, amused. She then turned to Lorraine.
"Is that the real reason why you asked that question Lorraine," she said coyly, waggling her eyebrow at her, "-Or do you really want to know whether Fern is hiding a cute potential husband of yours in her family?" She teased.
Lorraine glared menacingly at her and was about to retort when Kate cut in before their squabbling saga continues.
"Kids," she said in a warning tone, "no bickering over the dinner table." She looked at Fern and smiled apologetically. "And besides, we have a guest here, so please behave yourselves."
"Oh that's alright Mrs. Baker," Fern said casually, "It's not everyday that I get to have dinner with a full house. At home, it'll just be with my mom and dad, so it's a little too quiet at times. This is quite an interesting change I must say," she smiled at her.
"So you have any siblings?" Lorraine reiterated her earlier question.
"Oh, I have a brother," and that perked Lorraine up, "- but he's all married now, with his own family, " and that burst Lorraine's bubble as Fern continued, "-so it's pretty quiet at home. That's why you're so lucky to have so many brothers and sisters." she looked adoringly at them. "There'll never be a quiet and dull moment at home."
On the side, Kyle and Nigel are whispering to each other.
"Sounds to me she's kissing up." Nigel whispered.
"Yup. Definitely kissing up," Kyle confirmed.
Scoffs were heard around the table.
"Yeah. Lucky. Right." Lorraine replied, sarcastically. "Though, you got the last part right. There's never a quiet moment in the house, ever! Even when you need the peace and quiet, there's never any, cos' we're soo lucky to have so many brothers and sisters, as you said." She muttered, rolling her eyes.
Kate glared warningly which Lorraine just ignored and continued eating her salad.
Nora decided to change the subject.
"So, where do you live Fern?"
"Oh, she lives at-" Charlie spoke up but was cut off by Jake.
"Your name's Fern?" He raised an eyebrow at Charlie. Sarah chuckled. Charlie just glared back. Fern placed a soothing hand on his arm under the table and shook her head to prevent him from bursting out. Fortunately, it goes unnoticed by the rest of them.
"Well, I live at Pine Avenue, which is a few streets from here, so it's not that far off. Oh, I forgot to mention earlier, Mrs. Baker, you've got a very nice house here. It's beautiful and it's really huge!" gushed Fern.
"Yeah, and so is the price tag when we first bought it." Kate joked, resulting in laughter around the table, which eased the tension a little.
"But you should have seen the first time when we set foot in here, " Lorraine added, "it's definitely much nicer cos' then, there's no stains on the walls and without those dirty handprints of Kyle and Nigel, " she pointed to a corner of the wall where a set of muddy handprints were smudged all over the section, tarnishing the clean yellow walls.
"Well HE made me do it!" protested Kyle, pointing to his twin who is sitting next to him.
"No! HE made me do it!" Nigel defended.
"Alright alright kids! Nobody is going to punish you now, so it doesn't matter who did it. Now just quieten down and finish your dinner." Kate commanded and the twins immediately silenced themselves.
Well that's a first. Kate thought to herself, surprised that the twins actually listened to her orders, unlike previously.
They ate the rest of their dinners in peace with small chatter around the table and all this while, Tom still has yet to return from his 'meeting'. As they finished their dinner, they proceeded to clear up the table, with Fern offering her help.
"Oh that's alright Fern, just leave it there. You have to finish tutoring Charlie right? Let the kids clear the table and you can go on up and continue your tutoring." Kate said.
"Oh, it's no trouble Mrs. Baker. There are a lot of plates here. I can help lighten the load," Fern offered.
"Great! You can help me wash the dishes!" Jake said, enthused that his load is lightened.
"Jake." Kate warned, "It's your punishment so you have to do it by yourself." Turning to Fern, she said. "It's alright. Just leave them here. You're our guest anyway." she smiled kindly.
"Well, alright then. Thanks for the dinner Mrs. Baker. It was a really a sumptuous meal. "She praised and she followed Charlie out of the dining room and up towards his room where they continued their studying.
Kate watched their retreating backs as they went out of the room and then turned towards the rest of them.
"Alright, at least that went a little better than expected." Kate sighed in relief. "Although, next time, if there's a guest in the house, please behave," looking at Sarah and Lorraine," -and no quarrelling over the table. It's very rude when the guests are just sitting there watching. "
"Alright mom, " they chorused and began getting up from their seats.
"Oh, and Sarah, since there's not much laundry today, you'll help Jake with the dishes tonight. Don't think you're off the hook," she ordered. Sarah groaned while Jake snickered and she gave a discreet shove to his stomach, silencing him.
Just then, sounds of the front door opening made them all turn towards the living room to see Tom emerging from behind it.
"Hey kids!"
"Hey dad!" they all chorused, with Kyle and Nigel running towards him, engulfing him with their bear hugs, a occasional routine if they are in a good mood. He returned their hug and released them and they raced each other upstairs to their own room,
"You guys, done with dinner already?" he asked, setting his briefcase on the couch and heading towards them. Sarah ushered Jake towards the kitchen while the rest of them dispersed into their rooms to finish their homework.
"Yup," Kate replied, giving him a chaste peck of kiss on his cheeks and as she leaned in, she caught a whiff of a women's perfume. She frowned suspiciously but quickly changed her expression as she faced Tom. "So, where were you?" She said casually, curious of his whereabouts and even more of the smell of perfume on him.
Tom loosened his tie around his neck and shrugged off his coat and hanged it on armrest of the couch.
"Oh, I had to meet a friend of mine for some business." His voice was light but Kate noticed that it was as if he was hiding something from her. Not trying to be too suspicious, she went about picking up the remaining plates and dishes from the dining table and asked him another question.
"Oh, what kind of business?"
"Just something that I had to take care of." He muttered quickly and added, "Alright, I'm going to take my shower now. I'll see you upstairs." And off he went, leaving Kate in the dining room, her curiosity of her husband's behavior up another notch.
He's hiding something from me, that's obvious. And what about the perfume smell? Hmm… Kate wondered to herself as she carried the stack of plates towards the kitchen.
She was not aware that her two kids had their ears plastered to the door, listening in to the conversation the whole time until she suddenly pushed open the swinging door and two gasps of pain and two loud bumps were heard.
"What were the two of you doing!" She demanded when she found Jake and Sarah on the kitchen floor, rubbing their butts. Upon seeing her, they quickly scrambled up to their feet and smiled sheepishly at her.
"Nothing!" they lied. Jake and Sarah exchanged shifty glances at each other and fidgeted on their feet.
She raised a questioning eyebrow at them but decided not to prod on further. I've got other things to worry about. She moved around them and placed the stack of plates on the kitchen sink.
"Alright, you guys know what you're supposed to do. Make sure there's no foam party on the floor this time," she warned, reminding them of the previous fiasco that happened when she left these two alone in the kitchen and headed up the kitchen stairs, leaving them in the kitchen.
"Phew! That was close. I think she knew we were eavesdropping on her but she let us off so easily." Jake said relieved. "Did you notice anything strange about their convo'?" He looked at Sarah, who was now perched on top of the kitchen counter.
" Well, " she pondered for a moment, "I think she's onto dad cos' did you notice her questions? Its like she's trying not to sound too suspicious of him."
" Yeah, I noticed that too. And dad seems pretty shifty to me. He didn't really answer mom's question." He frowned, moving towards the sink where the stacks of dirty dishes were waiting to be scrubbed and a deep scowl marred his face at the sight of it. "Ahh shucks…look at all these plates. Urgh! I hate doing dishes!" he grumbled, but rolled up the sleeves of his shirt nonetheless.
"Well, better get used to it. You still have a week more of dishes to do. " She reminded him but did not make a move to help him. Jake noticed that too and chucked a dishrag at her.
"Hey! Move it! You're supposed to help me with the dishes. Not sit on top of the counter and make me do all the work!" He grumbled. Sarah grabbed the rag off her head and threw it back at him.
"Alright alright! Sheesh…its like you got a wedgie or something," she muttered under her breath and joined him in front of the sink.
"You rinse, I'll wipe." He ordered, handing her a clean kitchen towel.
"Fine by me," she shrugged and they washed the dishes silence for a while until Jake spoke up suddenly, startling her.
"So how's your play going?" He asked casually while rinsing the plates and he looked sideways at her.
"Oh. Um…fine," she said hesitantly. "Why? Why did you suddenly ask me that?" she asked defensively.
"Hey chill, Sarah. I was just making conversation. You should try it sometimes. Make more friends that way." He grinned cheekily while she just gave him an evil eye.
"Whatever."
"So what role did you get?" he continued asking.
She did not reply as she was contemplating on whether to tell him or not.
"Well?" he waited for her reply.
Oh no, should I tell him or not? She bit her lower lip as her thoughts reasoned with each other.
He's your best friend. You should tell him. A voice in her head urged.
What if he laughs at me?
"Hello? Woohoo…Sarah?" He waved his hands in front of her face but she seemed oblivious to it for the moment.
If he does, you'll deck him on the nose.
Right. So, I should tell him.
Yes. You should. Don't worry, he won't tell the others. You guys always tell each other everything.
Fine.
"Um…" She finally snapped out of her mental contemplation and looked at him. "Look. If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell the rest of our family. And don't tell your friends too if they asked. You promise?" She looked straight at him in the eyes firmly.
"Why? Why don't you want anyone else to know what role you get?" He frowned.
"I just don't, okay!" she snapped.
"Fine. Fine. I promise I won't tell anyone else. " He gave in to her, seeing as she was starting to get all riled up. Man, must be one heck of a role if she's this cranky about it, he thought to himself.
"We gotta spit shake on it." She demanded. He raised an eyebrow at her. They only do their spit shake when the promise is really important. "Do it or else I won't tell you." She said firmly.
"Fine." He really was curious about the role that she got since it made her this sensitive about it. He spat some saliva on his hand and waited for her to do the same. Once she did, they gripped each other's hands as they shook on it, sealing the promise that they made.
"Eargh!" Jake said, as he released his hand from hers, disgusted as he quickly washed his hands under the tap. Sarah did the same. "I really hate it when we do that. Can't we change to another kind of shake? Something that doesn't involve our salivas?" He pleaded.
Wiping her hands with the dishrag, she shrugged. "When you come up with something else, then you tell me." She muttered and continued wiping the rinsed dishes.
"Now can you tell me what role you landed?" He prodded on.
"You also promise that you won't laugh."
"Hey! I didn't promise on that! " He protested but seeing as she was being defiant, he reluctantly gave in. "Fine. I promise I won't laugh. Cross my heart and hope that my skateboard breaks in half. " He added cheekily.
She ignored his last addition and started, "Well…" and faltered.
"Dude! Cough it up already! I haven't got all day you know!" He urged exasperatedly.
She turned away from him and muttered quickly, so quick that he almost did not catch it if he wasn't standing near her. "I got the lead role for the class play."
"Well that's awesome Sarah! How come you're afraid to tell that you scored the lead?" He frowned, turning off the tap as he finished rinsing the last plate and handed it to her.
"It's not so much of the lead thingy that I'm afraid of! Its when people know what play I'm going to act the lead for! " She said annoyed.
"And what play is your class going to do?"
"You'll never believe this. I myself even can't believe they're going to make us do this play. Its…"
TBC.
A/N: Hehe! Evil aren't I? I hope that wasn't a terrible chapter since I've been on a break for so long, I've sometimes forgotten what direction this story is going! Lol. Check out for the next chapter!
