Chapter 6: Deux Rendez-vous
Harry was in awe. He'd never been to Paris, let alone on a whim, so Ginny played Tour Guide and showed him all the classic tourist sights (as well as the lesser-known local treasures) as they walked through the sixth arrondissement.
"Ginny this is really great. I'm having a really good time."
"Anytime, Potter." They grinned at one another and locked eyes for a brief moment before Ginny caught herself and directed Harry to the side of the road.
"Lets stop here – this is my favorite café. They actually have really good English tea – one of the only places in this town where you can get it."
They sat down at one of the small tables, and sat in silence, while they waited for their drinks, watching the passers-by.
Harry glanced at Ginny as she took a sip of tea, and noticed how avidly she was staring across the street. He turned and saw an American tourist competing with a robot street performer in robotic dance moves. The crowd was steadily growing, and the street performer was getting angrier at the tourist for taking all his tips. Harry chuckled and turned back to his drink. Ginny however was still watching, with a small smile on her face. Harry took this opportunity to study her face. He watched as she watched, amazed at the intensity of her eyes. His eyes danced around her face, noticing the faded appearance of her freckles and the porcelain smoothness of her skin. Her lips held the faint residue of pink lip gloss and invited attention with their soft contours. Harry realized he was staring and looked away before she could notice.
But then he thought that it wasn't wrong to notice how beautiful she was – that was more like fact, anyway – and they had dated, a long time ago. She had started coming into her own back in Harry's 5th year; once people noticed she actually spoke and that hey, there's a person in the room, they noticed how pretty she was. She wasn't gorgeous, but was a natural beauty. And once she realized that the boys were interested, her devilish spunk revealed itself. Harry remembered the many times he caught himself watching her as she flirted with other guys. And the one time Ron caught him.
"Oy! Mate! What are you doin'?
"What?"
"You're looking at my sister!
But Harry had to admit it – he still liked Ginny. A lot. He always had. Well, maybe not always. Once she had grown up and stood up to him and proved herself to be one hell of a fighter, Harry began looking at her differently. He saw her as a beautiful, intelligent, really wonderful person. That he really wanted to kiss. He remembered how soft her lips had been, how comforting and gentle her touch was. He wanted to know what her hands felt like now, he wanted to know how she had changed, grown up, matured, in the last five years…He couldn't believe the thoughts that were dashing through his head –
" – what do you think? Harry? Harry!" Ginny snapped her fingers in front of his face a couple times bringing him back to reality.
"Where were you?"
"What?" he went for innocent, but came out looking slightly dumb. But Ginny just shook her head and smiled.
"I never understood how you could zone out like that. Sometimes I wished I had that ability, just to get lost somewhere else."
"Oh." He was still trying to shake some of the lascivious ideas out of his brain.
"Anyway, what I was trying to talk to you about is my dolt of a brother. How's he been lately? The last few times I've seen him, he's been moping about, obviously longing after Hermione. I was hoping that leaving him in the attic would do some good."
"What exactly was in that book you left him?"
"Harry, that was Hermione's diary." Harry nearly spit out his tea.
"WHAT? You gave him Hermione's diary! She's going to murder you!"
"No she's not," Ginny looked very calm and matter-of-fact as she explained. "Hermione and I talked loads of times about how it was much easier to put our thoughts down on paper, and how sometimes instead of having to talk about certain things to certain people, it would be so much easier for them just to find our thoughts and know them, without us actually having to confess to them. So in way, its like she wanted Ron to find them. I just sped up the process."
Harry looked dubious. Ginny persisted, "Don't worry. I know it'll work. Ron will take the hint. Anyway, what were you thinking about off in LaLaLand?" she took another sip of tea but almost choked on it when Harry answered.
"You."
As soon as he said it, he couldn't believe it. Ginny was frozen, staring at the table, holding her teacup with both hands. Harry felt himself rising out of his body, looking down and watching himself stupidly admit "you", over and over and over again. Until, Ginny regained control of her body, set down her cup, took a breath and looked up at Harry.
That's when Harry knew he hadn't been completely wrong to say that. She was trying not to smile too much and her eyes were dancing. And when she spoke, she spoke softly, "Harry, will you walk with me?"
She placed a few Euros on the table, reached over and took his hand and led him to the sidewalk. He wasn't sure what she had in mind, but he was certain that by his confession, he had started something.
They walked the block in silence, and crossed into the park across the street. Harry closed his eyes as he breathed in the fresh scent of flowers – they were in one of the most beautiful gardens in France: the Luxembourg Gardens. And he was with one of the most beautiful women in Europe. He was shocked by the boldness of his own thoughts, having never before allowed himself to think such things about her, but they were both adults now. But Ron was no where to be seen, so Harry knew he wouldn't get hurt. Maybe it was the atmosphere or location or just the fact that Ginny was holding his hand, Harry felt free to think and say what he wanted.
"Ginny, I think you're amazing."
She stopped walking and looked up at him curiously. But before she could question his comment, he continued.
"I do. Out of all of us, you've changed the most – for the better, of course – and accomplished so much and you seem genuinely happy. You just…amaze me. And then…" he stopped, not sure if he really could say what he wanted to, but then looked at her looking at him and knew he could. "…and then there is the fact that you are beautiful, and so much fun to be around and, well, Ginny every time I look at you I have to consciously make an effort not to stare at you, because you are so damn beautiful. And…well…I miss you. I miss being with you. And I know we've both changed but I think…I think we'd be good together. Again." There. He said it. He couldn't believe how much he'd just revealed.
She was grinning that lopsided Weasley grin and looking around, not making eye contact, because she had no idea how to respond. Inside, she was screaming with joy because he finally said what she'd been waiting to hear. But she was caught completely off-guard and therefore didn't know how to respond. Finally, she managed to look at his face.
"Mr. Potter," she started in her mock-polite tone, "I do think it is awfully bold of you to say such things." He looked a little confused, and she giggled. "Of course, awfully sweet and daringly honest, as well, I have to give you that. But, I have to wonder what brought on such honesty?" she laughed and threw up her hands. "Why suddenly are you telling me this?
"Because of you. Ginny, I don't think you know this, but…there is something in your eyes. And in your smile, and in the way you talk to people that makes you completely disarming. I have never really wanted to be honest with anyone as much as I have with you. I mean, ok, remember that first night we really talked? By the fireplace?"
She nodded. How could she forget. He'd told her everything that night.
"Why do you think I told you? I could have told Ron or Hermione, but they were always so, I dunno, shocked or worried or something that just really annoyed me and made me not want to tell them. But you…you make it so easy…" he shook his head, disbelieving what was happening, and remembering the night he and Ginny bonded…
"Harry…" she whispered softly, penetrating him with those deep brown eyes.
He looked back at her expecting to see tears or sadness or fear but saw instead compassion and hope and understanding. And a little voice inside his head shouted, "Tell her! Tell her! She'll listen! She'll understand! She's been there too…" and so he did. He told Ginny Weasley what he'd only ever been told Ron or Hermione, but had stopped doing – he hated seeing the worry and the fear in their eyes, the darkness in their faces. Instead he'd learned to bottle everything up inside himself; of course that stopped working when he'd blow up in anger at his friends, and stopped sleeping just to avoid the dreams. He became the great pretender, growing angrier every day. Sirius' death, the mayhem at the ministry, the summer attacks…everything became heavier and more tormenting as his sixth year went on, making Harry a very sad, very angry bomb that could explode at the slightest provocation.
Ron and Hermione had near given up on him. So he was very grateful to have Ginny, gentle and strong, to fall back on. And that night, for the first time, he had wanted to kiss her. Instead of acting rashly (for once), Harry chose the more reasonable action and did what she requested: he talked to her. He talked to her all night, about everything…
"I told you things I had never told anyone. Things I didn't think I could ever tell. Without you, I might have exploded. I really might have. And Ron and Hermione might have killed me." He laughed gruffly. "I'm sure they really appreciated you, ya know, uh, - "
" – knocking some sense into you? Keeping you in line?"
"Yeah. Yeah that about sums it up." He grinned at her. "I just thought you should know."
He didn't really know where to look or what to do next. For a twenty-one year old, he wasn't as smooth with the ladies as one might hope. But Ginny didn't care. This was the boy who lived, the boy who had stolen her heart when she was just ten years old, and the only boy she had really loved. Granted, her feelings for the boy had changed, matured, grown, evolved into something she couldn't really name. The school-girl crush she harbored in those early years faded once she got to know him, and seen that he was just a human being, like everyone else. And that maybe we shouldn't place such high expectations on such a young and vulnerable person.
She grew to like him, not as a celebrity, but as her brother's friend, and then her friend, and soon she became his confidant. During her 5th year, she finally captured his attention, and after a quidditch victory, they kissed. She kept that particular memory locked away for moments when she most needed to smile, because nothing brought on such happiness as remembering the first kiss with the boy she loved. When Harry had told her, at the end of that year, that they could no longer be together, she understood and never pushed for them to get back together. It was always bad timing. But here they were, in Paris, with nothing stopping them. No family, no friends running away, no Ron to get in the way. Nothing.
Ginny looked up into Harry's face as the autumn wind rustled their hair. She reached and brushed his wild hair away from his forehead and ran her fingers softly over his scar. He closed his eyes and breathed in her touch. Slowly, she moved her finger down the bridge of his nose, and then over his lips, causing him to breathe in more sharply. With the tips of her fingers, she stroked his cheek, his ears and finally his neck, gradually wrapping her arms around him, and entwining her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer and towards her face. When they were only inches apart, he opened his eyes, only to close them again as she took his mouth with her own.
Passing children snickered as they watched this young couple embrace freely for the first time; Japanese tourists even snapped a few photos. For once in his life, Harry was somewhere where no one knew who he was, and didn't care what he was doing. People might steal a glance at the passionate kiss that was taking place in the beautiful French gardens, but no one really gave them more than a passing glace for they were in Paris, the city of love – a young couple kissing was an every day occurrance.
However, for Ginny, it was more than that. One might expect her to get wrapped up in old feelings, and obsess over the fact that here she was in the most beautiful city in the world kissing none other than Harry Potter; or one might expect her to think that finally their love could be realized, and trip over herself in giddy school-girl delight.
But as Harry realized earlier, Ginny had most definitely outgrown her school-girl crush. She was a most mature woman and knew not to make a bigger deal out of a kiss than was necessary. But she was smiling her dazzling smile as they broke away, because Harry wasn't just another cute guy she got to kiss – Harry was the guy with whom she had bonded years ago during a life-threatening time, and with whom she had remained close. Harry was the only one who understood what made her tick. And for once, with a man, she didn't have to hide one bit of herself.
With her arms still around his neck, she said, "I'm glad you finally did that."
"Its been a long time."
She smiled and looked down. Harry continued to speak, "Gin, look at me. As dense as Gryffindor boys tend to be, I finally realized that I couldn't keep running. What I did five years ago was to protect you, and I think that even after everything was over, what with Hermione running off and Ron moping about all the time, it was hard to want to go back to what used to be…but I always did. I always wondered..."
Ginny just smiled and shook her head.
"Do you remember when you first started flirting with me… when I realized that I kinda liked it, I couldn't take being around you without being with you….that hasn't changed. You should know that you still drive me crazy. You are definitely not the same Ginny that squealed and ran back up the stairs when she saw me."
Ginny laughed at the memory of first seeing Harry at her dining room table. She had run up to her room and nearly started hyperventilating.
"You should also know, Ms. Weasley, that there is a very good chance that I have been….well…that I could very well be in love with you. As mad as that might seem." Harry was shocked at his audacity, disbelieving that he just admitted to his true feelings. And not for the first time, Harry felt his face turn red. Ginny grinned.
"Well, Harry, it looks like our Weasley blood has rubbed off on you – you're about as red as a tomato."
"Thanks Gin, that's really what a guy wants to hear right after he drops the L-word." He ran a hand nervously through his hair and tried, out of habit, to flatten the top. Ginny reached up to stop him.
"When will you ever learn, that it is useless to try and do that? Or that it isn't mad at all, that you could be in love with me, because for the last few years or so, I've been suffering the same malaise." She smirked with a familiar devilish glint in her eye, causing Harry to break into an ear-to-ear smile and pull her close to kiss her hard. Then suddenly, a frightening thought entered his head. He pulled back abruptly.
"What is it Harry?" Ginny looked a little concerned.
"Your brother! We cant tell your brother!" he pulled away and pulled his hair nervously.
Ginny just laughed. "Ron? Are you honestly worried about Ron?"
"Yes! Of course I am! Ginny, think about it – its Ron!"
"Harry, what is the big deal? Ron didn't care before when we dated…"
"I know! But that was different! That was back at Hogwarts…I mean…"
"What? How is this any different?"
'Other than the fact that I'm in love with you and…"
"And what?" Ginny was on the verge of laughing as Harry's eyes were wide and his hair seemed more ruffled than before.
"…and well, god Gin, don't make me say it." She pursed her lips and raised one eyebrow until he hung his head low and answered, "this is different Ginny, because…I want to do very bad things to you…"
Harry looked up at her, his eyes wide, waiting anxiously for her to respond answer. But she only laughed.
"No, you're right. He's going to murder you."
Waving his hands in the air, Harry tried not to attract too much attention by yelling, "Thanks a lot Gin! That's real reassuring!"
"Harry, calm down. Listen. We just wont tell him….yet. And as for my other brothers, who frankly wouldn't care – well Fred and George would probably pull you aside and threaten to use you as a guinea pig or something – but other than that you're perfectly safe. But ok, ok! We wont tell anyone, yet, just to be on the safe side."
Seemingly pacified, Harry nodded silently.
"Now, Mr. Potter – forget all this nonsense, we'll discuss those very dirty things things later. For now, just kiss me."
And Harry happily obliged.
Hermione woke with a start. A small bang had come from the kitchen, and woken her up. Peering out through the bedroom door, she could see the cat, and a spilled cup on the floor. Breathing a sigh of relief, she let her head fall back on the pillow.
She turned to her right and smiled guiltily. Kevin was on his back, snoring softly, with a bit of drool creeping out of his mouth. Hermione restrained a giggle, wiped it away and kissed his forehead. She rolled over on her back, pulled the sheets up to her neck and stared up at the ceiling. She absolutely could not believe the night she had, and was starting to feel slightly guilty. She tried not to smile as she remembered the comfortably romantic dinner they had shared, the talkative walk through Salem, and the passionate silence as she fell onto him at his doorway. Never before had she been so direct with a guy, or allowed herself to be, for that matter. Never before had she gone so far on a first date, or thought she could enjoy it. And never before had she felt so comfortable with someone other than –
No. Not tonight. I will not go there tonight. She shook the thought from her head and closed her eyes hoping to fall asleep. A muffled snore came from Kevin's side of the bed and Hermione smiled in spite of herself. Everything felt so comfortable with Kevin. Having known him for a year definitely helped in that regard, but even before their date, months before, she had felt a natural attraction to him because of his laid-back attitude. She could talk about anything, well almost anything, with Kevin: books, science, personal spirituality, stupid movies, music, roommates, childhood stories, embarrassing moments, responsibilities, death…of course many of the stories that Hermione recounted were altered to hide one little detail that could ruin it all. But she chose to ignore the fact that she was hiding a rather significant part of her past so she could enjoy herself.
And enjoy herself, she did. She sighed with satisfaction as she recalled the taste of Kevin's kiss – a little salty combined with the smell of his cologne, and the intoxicating sensation of him nibbling on her lip, neck, ear…a slight chill ran up her spine as she remembered him laying her gently on the bed, slowly undressing her, and staring at her, taking her all in…
"You are beautiful, Hermione."
"Kevin, you don't have to - " she turned her head away, embarrassed.
"No, I do. You have never realized how pretty you are. Or the way your smile turns heads." Hermione blushed and allowed him to slowly remove her bra, and kiss her breasts. His touch made her feel so at ease and relaxed that when he slid into her, she felt instant pleasure.
Hermione covered her face with the sheet and tried not to giggle. She had enjoyed herself so much that even just thinking about the incredible night with Kevin brought a smile to her face. My friends back home would never believe it, she thought. Most of them, she was sure, thought of her as prudish. Well, all but Ginny because out of everyone back home, Ginny was the one who knew of Hermione's sensual and sexual side. Ginny was the only one, for instance, who knew about the summer fling Hermione had enjoyed with a neighborhood boy, just before seventh year. For nearly six weeks, Hermione hid her relationship with Thomas, a college student studying to become a writer, from her parents. But for a mere month, Hermione enjoyed her first sexual experiences and first real relationship. It wasn't until she was forced to face reality and the ongoing problems in the wizarding world, and of course, her friends, that she felt the familiar knot of guilt tying itself in her stomach. She remembered hugging Harry and Ron hello in Hogsmeade, and barely being able to look Ron in the face. She felt as if somehow she had done him wrong by getting involved with Thomas, even though she knew that was a crazy and absurd thing to feel guilty over. Since then, she had not been able to seriously enjoy a date guilt-free, because in her heart, Ron had always stopped her.
Until tonight. And she wasn't about to let the past keep her from enjoying the present.
Hermione scooted towards Kevin, curled up in his arm, kissed his shoulder and whispered, "Good night" before finally settling back into the a comfortable sleep.
