"Mum?" Grace breathed, holding the phone close to her mouth.

"Yeah it's me- look dad offered to drive me home-" Grace paused a moment while her mother talked.

"-Well he can't come to the phone right now, but we'll be leaving in about 15 minutes-" Grace glanced around, nobody was nearby "-so you will be working late tonight? -" Grace let out a little sigh.

"-Yeah that's fine, I mean if you have work to do and dad has offered to drive me home-" Grace nodded as her mother spoke some more "-so you'll be home at about 10:30? What about Rick? -" She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as a bus boy walked past her- does he know? She thought to herself.

"-Yeah I can baby-sit Jessie and Zoë while you and Rick go out, no problem-" Grace tried to lighten her tone.

"-Yeah, no, ok, yeah I know. I love you too, bye mum" Grace hung up the phone.

She walked away from the pay phone and headed towards her father's office.

Breath, breath, breath.

Grace lightly brushed a finger under her eye, hoping they didn't look too red and puffy.

"Daddy?" Grace knocked gently on the door, and Jake looked up and smiled.

"Hi honey, is you're mum here?" Jake asked, rising from his chair.

"Yeah she is, and she's in a hurry so I gotta go" Grace said, and turned to leave.

"What about a kiss goodbye?" Jake asked, and she turned around.

She quickly walked to her father, and pecked him on the cheek "I'll walk you out" Jake said, smiling.

Grace wanted to scream!

"No, dad, I've gotta dash! I love you, bye" Grace walked quickly out the door, before her father could protest.

And she let out a sigh of relief as she heard his phone ring.

"Jake Manning here-" Grace felt her shoulders loosen "- Oh yeah hi! -" Her father's voice drifted off as Grace entered the cloak room.

There were a few waitresses in there, getting their coats, about to leave for home.

Grace felt their eyes on her as she went to her locker, opened it and grabbed her coat and bag.

"Bye Grace" one of them said as Grace walked out; and she cringed as she heard them whisper once they thought she was out of earshot.

GRACE ever feel like the entire world is pointing at you- and laughing?

Grace didn't feel any better once she stepped out of the restaurant.

The cold air hit her instantly, and made her swollen, teary eyes sting.

She punched her arms through the sleeves of her brown jacket, and did the buttons up- blocking out the cold.

She slung her backpack over her shoulder and began walking down the street- trying to look purposeful, and hoping that no body could tell she had been crying her eyes out only moments before.

Grace almost walked straight past the bus stop. Her eyes still blurry and not too sure of the area, but once she saw the bus heading towards her she stopped and looked around.

Walking back to climb aboard, it was only as she clambered up the stairs of the bus that she noticed she was shaking, and had to hold onto the railing to support herself.

"You alright there miss?"

Grace looked up and smiled at the elderly bus driver, and nodded her head.

"Is that one ticket then?" he asked her, and Grace merely nodded as she rummaged through her backpack for some change.

He handed her a ticket, and Grace opened her mouth to say thankyou; but nothing came out, so she quickly nodded and walked down to the back of the bus, glad that there were only 3 other people on the bus, and they were all sitting at the front.

GRACE that numbing feeling- you don't quite know where you begin and end, all you know is that your 'existing' not quite living.
Just…….in between pain and sadness, a place nobody ever wants to be.


Jessie neatly folded her jeans and added them to the small pile of clothing on her bed.

She glanced over at the clock on her wall; it was 9:30.

Grace should be home by now; Lily said she was picking her up at 9:00, but Jessie hadn't heard anyone come home yet.

"Jessie?"

Jessie spun around and saw her dad standing in her doorway.

"You going now?" she asked.

"Ah, I don't know- Grace isn't home yet-" Rick said, and gave out a frustrated sigh.

"-I thought Lily was driving her home" Jessie said, looking at him quizzically.

"No, Grace rang her and said Jake was dropping her off instead. She should be home by now-" Rick glanced down at his watch "-I made reservations at the restaurant for 9:30, and I still need to go and pick up Lily from her office-" Rick drifted off, but Jessie cut him off before stress consumed him.

"-So go now, Grace and Jake are bound to be home any minute now, and Zoë and I will be all right for a few minutes" Jessie said, and smiled reassuringly at her father.

Rick hesitated "-aren't you going out tonight?" he asked Jessie, not liking the idea of leaving her and Zoë alone.

Jessie sighed, fathers are so over-protective! "Yeah, I'm staying over at Katie's- but she had an appointment somewhere and isn't picking me up till 10:00, Grace will be home by then! And you have reservations……..so just GO!" Jessie smiled, and saw as her father lingered on the idea.

Rick smiled, and walked over to his daughter, kissing her lightly on the forehead "if you need ANYTHING just gimme a ring on my mobile, ok?" he said, pulling away and looking down at her "and ring me when Grace gets home!" he added and turned to walk out the door.

"Have a good time, see you tomorrow" Jessie said as she heard her father say a quick goodbye to Zoë.

Jessie turned around and opened one of her drawers, pulling out a turtleneck blue jumper; she folded it and added it to the pile on her bed.

"Be good!" Rick called out from downstairs, and Jessie heard as the front door closed, and a moment later her father's car pulled out of the driveway.

"Jessie!" Zoë called from her room, and Jessie sighed.

"Don't talk to me from another room Zoë! Come here" Jessie yelled back, and a moment later Zoë appeared at her door.

"What do you want?" Jessie asked, as she packed the clothes on her bed into a backpack.

"Where's Grace?" Zoë asked.

Jessie sighed- did she not hear the conversation she just had with Rick!

"She'll be here any minute now" Jessie replied, stacking her under wear into the bottom of her bag.

"Do you think she'll let me watch nightmare on Elm Street tonight?" Zoë asked, watching intently as Jessie packed her bag.

Jessie let out a small laugh "not a chance kiddo" she answered, and saw out of the corner of her eye as Zoë put her hands on her hips and stormed back off to he room.

Just then, as Jessie placed the last of her clothing into the backpack, she heard the door open and close, and the soft thud of footsteps walking up the stairs.

"Where have you been?" Jessie walked to her door, and poked her head out, looking down the hallway at Grace's door.

But she snapped her head the other way when she heard the bathroom door slam shut.

Jessie shrugged her shoulders and went back into her room, walking over to the phone by her bed; she picked it up and dialled her father's cell phone.

"Dad? Yeah, Grace is home-" Jessie paused for a moment "-Ah, I think she had a tough night at work- but I'll tell her Lily wants her to call her back later" Jessie paused a moment longer as her father gave her instructions to pass onto Grace "-Yep, no problem, love you too- bye" Jessie hung the phone up.

"Can I watch nightmare on Elm Street tonight?" Jessie walked out of her bedroom and saw Zoë standing by the closed bathroom door- she wasn't getting a reply.

"Grace? PLEASE!" Zoë whined; still no response.

"Fine then, if you don't say anything that means I CAN watch it" Zoë smiled and walked back to her room.

Jessie creased her brow, and walked towards the bathroom door, tapping lightly.

"Grace?" she said quietly.

No answer.

"Grace?" she said again, but still no response.

"Look, I'm leaving at ten to sleep over at Katie's-" Jessie paused for a moment, but didn't receive a reply.


Grace heard as someone rapped on the door of the bathroom.

She was almost sure the person on the other side was saying something; but she couldn't be certain.

All she could clearly make out was the thumping in her head.

A rhythmic, pulsating beat that rang through her ears and made the rest of her body shudder in time with the pounding.

She wasn't sure how she'd gotten home. She remembered catching the bus, vaguely, and her feet carrying her home- and now she was here, sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

The soft murmurs of someone calling her name seemed far away, as they broke through the pounding in her head.

Grace closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them again.

No- she was still in the bathroom, staring at the closed door, only faintly hearing the sound of someone's voice from the other side- the pounding in her head still beating away, almost in time with her racing heart.

Her breaths were deep and raspy, but she thought the deeper she took them, then the steadier her shaking body would be.

Grace closed her eyes again.

But this time when she opened them, everything around her was blurry and barely visible.

Was she really here?

She couldn't really feel anything……her mind had gone blank, and all she could concentrate on was the pounding in her head.

She couldn't feel her body anymore- the aching pain in her chest had gone, the stinging in her eyes wasn't there anymore……was she really here?

Grace took another deep breath; she didn't really feel the air fill her lungs either, so – WAS SHE REALLY HERE?

Grace suddenly feel her throbbing head go light, as though everything above her neck was weightless- and then she felt as though she was about to topple over- the weight of her lower half too much, she suddenly couldn't support herself.

She reached out an arm, and it took hold of something; the basin perhaps, she couldn't be sure.

Her hand began groping around the object she'd just supported herself with, trying to get a better hold on it.

And beneath her fingers, she felt a small sharp object.

She ran her hands over it, making sure it was really there.

And suddenly, everything became perfectly clear………….


"Grace!"

Jessie pushed her shoulder against the door, but it didn't budge, and Grace didn't reply.

"Grace!"

Jessie tried once more, but still nothing happened, and now her shoulder was throbbing.

Jessie turned around, trying to think of a way to open the door.

And saw Zoë staring at her, wide-eyed and panicked.

"Go back to you're room!" Jessie demanded, and Zoë hurried away.

Jessie spun back around, the closed door staring right back at her- mocking her!

"GRACE!" Jessie cried once more, and went to grab the door handle.

Suddenly Jessie heard the comforting sound of the lock click, and when she turned the handle, the door swung open.

Jessie stood for a moment, in complete and total shock.

"Jessie" Grace croaked "help me"

Suddenly Jessie found movement in her body and she bent down by Grace's side.

She was sprawled out on the bathroom floor, leaning against the bathtub, Rick's razor in her hand, and a slither of blood tracing it's way down her arm.

"Jesus, Grace" Jessie breathed as she took the razor out of her limp hand, and chucked it across the room.

Grace simply stared at her face- examining the loose strands of golden hair that fell down her face.

"I needed to know I could feel" Grace murmured, not taking her eyes away from Jessie's face.

Jessie looked up at her; her brown eyes glazed over, her bottom lip trembling, and her face completely colourless- she looked ghostly.

Jessie rotated Grace's arm, so she could find the cut.

It was at the fleshy top of her arm, only a small cut, but she'd allowed the blood to run down her arm in a clean strand, making it appear worse than what it really was.

Grace took her eyes away from Jessie's face, and examined her arm.

It looked as though someone had taken a red texta and drawn a line down her arm- you could barely even see the cut.

Grace had hovered the razor above her wrists, examining the purple veins that were visible.

But in a moment she'd moved the razor up her arm, where there was more flesh and where she thought she could draw more blood.

It only took a swift flick of her wrist- and the blood began to appear, running down her arm in a straight strand.

She'd stared at it for a moment, and then suddenly the sound of Jessie's voice rang through her ears- and, with her cut arm limp at her side, she'd reached forward, unlocked the door and a moment later Jessie was standing before her- like an angel.

Jessie stood up, and began rummaging through the medicine cabinet, quietly muttering under her breath; when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Zoë standing in the hallway, mouth ajar.

She had a clear view of Grace sprawled out on the bathroom floor, blood on her arm.

Jessie turned and shut the door, and went back to rummaging through the medicine cabinet.

She let out a relieved sigh when she found a roll of bandage, and bent back down by Grace's side.

But there was still blood down her arm, and Jessie stood once again, wetting one of the face wash towels.

She placed the towel against Grace's skin, lightly washing away the blood.

Once her arm was clean, only Grace's creamy skin visible, Jessie slowly wrapped the top of Grace's arm with the bandage.

"I- I have to call someone-" Jessie said out loud, more to herself, thinking Grace was too out of it to understand her.

"No, please don't Jessie, please" Grace began grabbing at Jessie's arm making it difficult for her to wrap the bandage.

"Ok, OK! I wont tell anyone," Jessie said, and Grace calmed down.

They both sat silently, Grace watching as Jessie wrapped the bandage around her arm. And Jessie concentrating on not hurting Grace.

When she was done Jessie looked into Grace's eyes, they weren't glazed anymore- they could see her.

Jessie brushed a strand of hair out of Grace's face, and tried smiling.

"Thanks" Grace said softly.

Jessie opened her mouth, but only a small whimper came out, and Grace suddenly felt incredibly stupid and guilty.

"I'm sorry" Grace breathed, and Jessie stared intensely into he eyes.

"Don't you ever do that again!" Jessie said in a stern but caring voice, and Grace merely nodded as she felt tears stream down her face.

Jessie reached out and wrapped her arms around Grace, holding her tight as Grace rested her head on Jessie's shoulder and began to cry uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Grace said, through tears, and Jessie merely stroked her hair, allowing Grace's tears to flow.


AUTHORS NOTE!

Wow, was this an intense chapter or what?
I'm sorry if this depressed you or brought up unwelcomed feelings.

I was writing this, and the idea somehow got into my head, don't ask me how cause I have NO idea.

So I let my creative juices flow……..which, I think, is the best and only way to write!

Hmmmm…..just to let you know, I'm not depressed or suicidal, this just seemed like the way for Grace's character to go, I hope it really brings some depth to the story- and a strengthened relationship between her and Jessie, and possibly her and Eli.

Once again I am sorry if this conjured up any 'bad' feelings- I am only writing, and this is the way the story went- take it as you like, this is just me being an author.

How about I promise the next chapter to be happy? (kinda)

Eli and Grace might have a meeting……..check back SOON!

Love ya! (please review this chapter especially- and be VERY critical of my writing, please!)