Each individual chapter will have a different rating, different pairings, different spoilers, and a different setting and timeline. Multiple people were involved in writing this fic, I do not claim to have written anything other than my own characters. I do however claim to have come up with the plot, story idea, and organizing it all. The others who write characters in this fic are well aware that I am posting it, and contribute willingly. This fic is an ongoing project with an unknown number of parts, with alternate storyline as of the fifth laboratory incident. Enjoy!
Out of the Freezer, Into the Fire
Rating: PG13
Pairings: None.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Havoc and Izumi written by a good friend of mine, Al written by another.
Spoilers: If you don't know about Ed and Al's sensei, this is spoiler material.
Setting: Dublith.
Timeline: About a week after the end of the series, and no, things aren't exactly canon.
A nervous mop of golden blond poked up above a bush, just barely mind you, gold eyes searching the streets for any sign of white and black in the form of a certain formidable someone...
A little 10 year old blond walked behind Ed and tugged on his red sleeve. He was very confused and didn't remember very much, other than their childhood together and a couple of other things. "..Hey, Edward..."
The blond in question practically jumped out of his skin at the voice, and the tug, gloved hand immediately covering Al's mouth. "Ayaaa! I don't care if she was going to help last time with your memory it's giving me the chills just being here! Come on, Al! We're going back to Central!"
And with that, the elder Elric grabbed All by the wrist and dragged him at full speed towards the city limits.
It was there that Ed decided that anything was better than going back to Central at the moment, or ever really. Thusly, he forced himself to stick it out, leaving Al with directions back to Central and information on what to do when he got there, as well as the single issued order: To run like hell and get as far away from this town as possible.
Ed didn't want Al to be traumatized so soon after his restoration, what with amnesia and everything else on top of it. It was better this way.
-----
There was a rustling of bushes, as a blond antennae popped up above the leaves. Very inconspicuous, Ed. Your extra height has given you away...who ever thought anybody would think THAT would happen?
A certain formidable Alchemy sensei spotted the blond-haired, amber eyed State Alchemist. And she was none too happy about his hasty retreat from Dublith.
"EDWARD ELRIC!!"
Said blond haired State Alchemist froze, turning white as a sheet and slowly turning around and backing out of the bushes, only to trip over a twig and fall straight on his ass, not managing to get far as he backed right into a wall.
Izumi loomed over the scapegrace Ed, her eyes glowing in that scary daemonic, evil and slightly scary way that she was so good at.
"Edward..."
"T-t-t-t-teacher I-I-I-I-I w-wasn't e-e-expecting to s-s-see you so-so-so-soon!" Edward stammered, trying in vain to scoot back even further under that gaze that he knew all too well meant he was in for a severe beating.
Izumi brought her foot lightly down on her ex-student's stomach, applying just enough pressure to keep him in place. "YOU." She continued to loom, though her hand seemed to be readying some horrible impliment of pain and punishment.
Ed whimpered, frozen stiff. Maybe if he didn't move she would think he was dead and leave him alone!
"Your opossum tactics won't work on me, kiddo. You're still breathing." The self-proclaimed housewife began to bring her paper fan down with punishing force.
"Hey look, Al's trying to sneak away!" Ed pointed in the opposite direction in hopes of crying wolf and it actually working. Well, in hopes of getting her to look away for just a fraction of a second so he could run like hell.
Izumi tapped the blond lightly on the head. "Edward, I know every single trick in the book. Trust me, I used them on my own teacher. Al will get what's coming to him. Right now, I'm thinking of dragging your tater-tot butt home so you can do the dishes."
"D-dishes?!" Ed really shouldn't have been surprised at all, really, he'd come to believe that Izumi actually got a kick out of scaring the piss out of him...no wait, he'd confirmed that a long time ago. "Surelet'sgoleadthewayI'mrightthere!"
Ed's former teacher dragged him upright, tugging him to her home. "You know, Edward, fear is good. It means you're paying attention. Don't drag your feet, kiddo. Put one foot in front of the other. It's not that difficult."
Edward picked up his feet in compliance, that was after all the best way not to get pounded into the dirt, and nodded dumbly. "Eheheh...right right, not hard at all!"
Izumi turned around and gave Ed a Look. "Are you even listening to me? You're staring at me vacantly." She gave his arm a little shake.
Ed gulped and focused his eyes. "Yeah of course I am!" Man I rreeaaally need to get out of here why the hell did I come here Al please save me!
Keeping her iron-tight grip on her former student's arm, Izumi looked around curiously. "Where on Earth has your brother gotten to? I could have sworn he was hanging around your bush."
I hope he got away I hope he got away... "I...don't know...I swore he was right behind me and then the next thing I knew he was gone!"
"Oddly enough, I think I believe you. Come on, there's a whole mountain of unwashed chili dishes for you."
Ed groaned slightly, feeling almost like he was at the losing end of a bet with the Colonel again...oh wait...then he'd be wearing a pink frilly apron and a French maid's outfit...this was better...definitely better...
Izumi quirked an eyebrow at the groan. She didn't ask, but she had a distinct, niggling feeling that the groan was somehow connected to unknown events in Central.
"If you finish the dishes without alchemy and under half an hour, I have a treat for you."
Ed blinked, caught the entire sentence, rationalized the meaning and possible outcomes, and sweatdropped slightly. "What...kind of...treat...?" He asked tentatively.
Pleasesayit'snottrainingpleasesayit'snot training...
Izumi grinned, half happily, half maniacally. "That's a secret, tater-tot!"
Notgoodnotgoodnotgood...
Ed fumed visibly but kept his words to himself, with extreme reserve, it wasn't easy.
Al peered over the top of the bush he'd been hiding behind this whole time, seeing Ed and Izumi. He quickly looked back down and gulped. He didn't want to leave Ed alone, but he was worried what Izumi would do for him not showing himself from the beginning.
Izumi heard a tiny rustle from a bush back behind her. Tightening her grip on Ed's arm, she roared:
"ALPHONSE ELRIC, GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE. NOW!!"
Ed winced at the sound of Izumi's voice, and the thought of what would happen to Al now...
ItoldyoutorunItoldyoutorun!
Al gulped, then ran to Ed, looking up at Izumi with eyes full of fear. "Y-Y-Yes T-T-Teacher?"
"You are in a boatload of trouble, boyo. Expect to be mucking out the shop tomorrow. We haven't cleaned for a few weeks." Izumi grabbed Al's arm in another iron grasp and dragged both boys away.
"Al...you could have gotten away!" Ed hissed through his teeth at his younger brother as he was dragged along behind their dreaded sensei.
Al looked at Ed, then at the ground, sighing. "..I'm sorry brother...I couldn't let you clean alone.."
"Alphonse, you are aware that you're currently in more trouble than your brother?"
The younger boy blinked, suddenly trying to get free as he waved his arms in the air. "..What?!.." Al looked at Ed with a worried look. "..Any ideas?"
"Um...he's just ten though, Sensei! Al didn't know any better I told him to run! He's not a suit of armor anymore you can't throw him around as hard you'll hurt him!" Ed blurted out before he could even think about what he had just said. Given time to think about it, he realized he really shouldn't have said that.
Ohshitohshitohshit...
Al looked at Ed, understandably confused about the 'suit of armor' comment. "..What suit of armor brother?" The confused boy then looked from Izumi to Ed, and back again, several times. "..Is there something I don't know that you're hiding?"
Finally, Izumi snapped. "BOTH OF YOU ARE IN FOR A BEATING!" she roared, throwing the two boys in front of her. The hormonally imbalanced teacher loomed threateningly. "Has the thought ever crossed your puny little minds that if you just paid attention to what I say and do what I tell you that you'd have a LOT less pain?!"
"EYAAHH!" Ed squealed in a rather undignified manner, clawing his way over Al to try and scramble for it.
Al gulped, then pulled out some chalk and put it in Ed's hand. "..Use it! Hurry!" He then looked at Izumi with fearful eyes.
And it was then that Edward Elric was rendered utterly useless. This entailed being too completely and entirely stunned, shocked, amazed, and horrified all at the same time.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Izumi clapped, putting her hands to the dirt road. A huge stone cage grew up around the brothers. "You little scapegrace brats! If ANYONE does alchemy, you'll both be cleaning out the latrines and the offal catches in the shop!"
Not to mention she'll painfully and thoroughly kick your asses...
Al sighed and did the only thing he could do.
He pulled out a cup and hit the bars with it, making a rattling noise. "..Lemme out please.."
Ed just lay there, swirly eyes and all, completely out of it. At least he wouldn't feel the pain just yet this way.
Izumi smiled, half exasperated and half fond of the little twerp out cold on the ground. Grabbing Ed by the front of his shirt, she slung him up over her shoulder. "Let's get you some ice, kiddo."
Ed faintly registered being slung over Izumi's shoulder and one arm instinctively pointed in the opposite direction. "Al.."
"He'll be following along presently," the now much calmer housewife said briskly. "He's not half-dead like you are. What on earth was going through your brain, Edward? You could have dropped by, said hi, eaten something and gone on your way. Instead you were skulking around like a thief, just begging to be punished. Have you forgotten your manners?"
During her monologue-cum-lecture, they had gotten closer to her humble abode. "The boys are out for the week, so we should have relative peace and quiet. Now, you have some explaining to do."
Apparently, she had forgotten to put Ed down.
Please review, constructive criticism and questions appreciated, flames will be deflected back at you by Roy. n.n;
This was a humor chapter, brought to you by the antics of Edward and Alphonse in the presence of one Izumi Curtis.
