Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
GRACE why did I do it?
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
GRACE I don't know. I'd like to blame it on Elle—or Eli even. But deep down I know it's not them, it's me………
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
GRACE if I keep my feelings to myself…..it's easier to manage them that way, instead of letting them be 'out there', on show for everyone to see.
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
GRACE everything is kind of a blur- except for the pain- I remember the pain.
Blackbird fly
GRACE I suppress my feelings. (Laughs nervously) actually, I can remember when I was about 7 years old- and whenever mum or dad got me angry, I would get a piece of paper, and scribble down all these hurtful, nasty words.
Blackbird fly
GRACE -and I would read it to myself, over and over again. And then, I would rip it up into a dozen little pieces, and throw it in the bin.
And mum and dad would never know how angry they'd gotten me……
Into the light of the dark black night
GRACE and I hate confrontation- especially with myself.
It's like; if I don't admit to myself that I'm unhappy- I can dance around it, and just pretend that my life is fine.
Blackbird fly
GRACE I've been concentrating so hard on forgetting Eli, that I forgot to be sad about losing him---
Blackbird fly
GRACE I suppose I did have it kinda great for a while. I had this amazing person that I loved, and who loved me back (looks wistful and smiles slightly)
Into the night of the dark black night
GRACE the higher you bounce- the harder you fall I guess.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
GRACE do I want him back? God what a stupid question! That's like asking me 'do you want to stop hurting?'
Well- yes! Yes, I want Eli back! And I want to stop hurting, and I want to stop pretending that I'm not hurting just so everyone else can believe that I'm fine and what they're doing is in my best interest!
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
GRACE (wipes a tear from her eye) wouldn't it be great if I could tell me that to their face?
Grace rose from her bed, and walked towards Jessie's room, her body shaking.
"Jessie?" she said in a small voice- barely a whimper.
Jessie looked up, and took her headphones off of her head "Grace-?" she looked at the small, pale figure standing by her door.
Grace tried to smile- but she couldn't, because the truth was- she didn't want to smile! She didn't want to pretend to be happy when she had so much pain inside of her she felt like it would eat her whole.
"Grace?" Jessie said again, and she saw as a single tear escaped Grace's eye.
"I cant do this anymore" Grace whispered- and she walked slowly towards Jessie, who was sitting on her bed.
"What? Grace-"
Grace eased her body onto Jessie's bed, and placed her head in her lap- and she cried.
She didn't try and hold back the tears- or cover them with a smile.
She let them pour out of her swollen, red eyes- and it felt good.
"Grace?" Jessie said quietly- as Grace's shoulder began to heave as she cried; her whole body was shaking as the tears streamed down her cheeks.
"I miss him," Grace said through sopping tears.
Jessie let out a small sigh as she listened to Grace's sobs, and her uneven raspy breaths.
"I know you do" Jessie said in a hushed, soothing voice "I know" she said again, and began to stroke Grace's mattered hair.
"I love him," Grace said through broken tears- the words weren't bitter on her tongue, they didn't sting her heart- they felt good- because they were true.
"I know" Jessie said in a calm voice- Grace curled her body up, nestling her head into Jessie's lap as the tears and words of truth began to comfort her aching body and soul.
"I know you do" Jessie repeated, and she kept on stroking Grace's hair- and she continued to listen as Grace' sobs became louder and louder, and then eventually turned into a mere whispering weep.
JESSIE allowing yourself to cry, and allowing yourself to see- that's difficult. But once you do it, the rest is easy.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Ok, incase you don't know, the beginning of this chapter was Grace in the black back drop expressing all her built up feelings in bits and pieces.
And the song that was playing through while she talked was a song called BLACKBIRD by an amazing band called DOVES.
The song is on the Roswell soundtrack, and is a brilliant, moving song.
I seriously suggest you listen to it- download it from the internet, see if a friend can loan it to you- because once you listen to the song, the beginning of this chapter really hits a lot harder and has a lot more meaning to it.
Ok, let me just say, this chapter and the last one were a bit 'nothing' I realize that. But I am building up to something. So you can hate me for being 'boring' and 'bland'.
I, myself, would rate these last two chapters a mere 0/10!
But PLEASE keep reading, I do have some ideas up my sleeve!
I have a pretty big day tomorrow, so don't check back for updated chapters until Monday! Ok?
Have a good one and check out the son!
