"She just came out and said that?" Rick asked.
Lily nodded and handed him a dripping wet plate.
"Jeez" Rick breathed as he dried the plate, "I know" Lily agreed with Rick's sigh.
"And she was so mature about it" Lily went on as she began washing a glass- "she said it so calmly, like she was so sure of her words-" Lily glanced over at Rick who was listening to her intently.
"Have you talked to her-?" Rick asked, and Lily shook her head.
"What do I say?" she asked, handing him the clean glass.
"Well, sit down and tell her our reasons for doing what we did" Rick replied, he put down the dry glass and tea towel, turning to look at Lily.
"Allow her to ask questions about our actions" Rick added, and Lily turned to look at him, her brow creased.
LILY there are just some things that you don't want to talk about! I mean, why cant she just move on? It's not even like her and Eli had been together for MONTHS! They were a 'couple' for only a few weeks.
"I don't think so" she said bluntly, and turned away, concentrating, as she rubbed hard at another plate.
Rick sighed and watched as her hands rubbed at the plate roughly "Lily" he whispered, but she didn't stop. "Lily!" he cupped his hands around hers, stopping them from rubbing.
Lily took a deep breath, feeling tears swell in her eyes- "It's just-" her words began to jumble, her tone croaky.
"What?" Rick asked, he brushed her cheek with his finger, and she turned to look at him.
"-How do I explain something I don't even understand?" Lily breathed, a single tear escaping her eye.
RICK I thought we made the decision together. I thought we were 'stable' about our actions. If she regretted doing what we did, for even a second, she should have talked to me about it!
"What do you mean?" Rick asked, studying her face as more tears silently rolled down her cheek.
Lily met his eyes, and saw the confusion and worry staring back at her.
"Nothing" Lily breathed, and forced a smile onto her face "We did the right thing- maybe I will have a talk with Grace. Make her see things our way," she said calmly.
Rick smiled "yeah, maybe that would be a good idea" he answered her reassuringly.
"You said that to Lily?" Jessie asked, shocked and exhilarated.
Grace smiled and lay back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling again.
"What did she say?" Jessie asked, walking over to Grace's bed.
Grace smiled to herself, "she looked like a deer caught in headlights-" she sat up and looked at Jessie with a cunning smile "-she was too shocked to say anything" Grace added, and Jessie returned the smile.
Jessie went and sat next to Grace at the edge of the bed "I'm impressed" Jessie said, nodding her head, "to say the least" she added, and elbowed Grace lightly.
Grace rolled her eyes, "yeah, well don't be giving me too much praise just yet" Jessie shot her a glance "-I'm expecting her to come into my room any minute now and declare that we have a 'heart to heart' about the problems that dating a stepsibling can provoke" Grace said bluntly "-I know my mum, she has to have the last word, no matter what!" Grace gave a little sigh and fell back onto her back, staring at her ceiling again.
Jessie turned and looked at her, contemplating whether or not to tell her about the phone calls she'd made to Eli.
JESSIE I don't know what either of them want anymore. Does Grace want to see Eli, will he make her stop hurting? Is Eli really over Grace- does he need to see her to remind him how much he SHOULD be hurting?
Grace let out a little laugh, and Jessie looked at her curiously.
"What?" Jessie asked, pushing all thoughts about telling Grace out of her mind.
"Nothing, I was just remembering what mum's face looked like" Grace answered, and she turned her head to look at Jessie; she widened her eyes, opened her mouth and creased her brow; making an almost perfect 'Lily' expression.
Jessie let out a little laugh.
"It was definitely a Kodak moment" Grace added, straightening her face.
Jessie collapsed onto Grace's bed, staring up at her ceiling, allowing for a moment of silence while her thoughts drifted off- "You know, you really did scare me" Jessie said, her tone serious and flat.
Grace was taken aback by her statement, and turned her head slightly, to look at her. Weren't they just laughing a minute ago?
"I know" Grace said meekly.
Jessie turned her head and met Grace's eyes "yeah, well don't do it again" she said, trying to lighten her tone "-don't even think about doing it again" she added, and Grace managed a small smile.
"Ok then" Jessie sat up abruptly, and turned around to look at Grace "I'm going to go call Katie" she said, and rose from the bed.
"Ok" Grace said, and listened as Jessie closed her bedroom door, leaving her alone in the quiet of her room.
GRACE I haven't really said thankyou. I want to, I just need the right time. I really do appreciate what she did for me though- really!
JESSIE I know she's grateful. She doesn't need to say thanks. Making sure she never does it again is thanks enough!
Grace glanced over at her clock; 8:30.
She didn't really feel like sleeping, but there was nothing else she could think to do.
She reached over to her bedside table and reached for her stereo remote.
Clicking a small button, soft music filled her room.
Had a dream
had a drowning dream l was in a river of pain
only difference this time
I wasn't calling out your name yeah
has it ended before it's begun
you hold on
and I try to run but
anybody heading in my direction
away from the city
anybody wanna
change the way they feel step inside
doesn't really matter where you wanna take me
away from the city
I wanna start again
I wanna start again
I wanna take it back
I wanna start again
Grace rose reluctantly from her bed, and walked over to her chest of drawers.
Pulling out a pair of grey, baggy pyjama pants and a long sleeved navy cotton top.
She mouthed along to the song as she unbuttoned her jeans,
funny how those friends forget you when you tire of their games
you miss a show or a party that blows
and they've forgotten your name, yeah
and you wonder what you've become
they pull you back when you try to run
well anybody heading in my direction
away from the city
Grace made a quick glance in her mirror, as she stood in her underwear.
Her stomach wasn't perfectly flat, but slightly toned. And she made a mental note to do sit-ups in the morning.
Her legs were a little too bulky to be slim, but a little muscular, which didn't make them look grossly fat.
Another mental note to do 'squats'.
Grace pulled on the pyjama bottoms, and began nodding her head in time with the song as more lyrics escaped her mouth;
anybody wanna change the way they feel step inside
doesn't really matter where you wanna take me
away from the city
I wanna start again
I wanna start again
I wanna take it back
I wanna start again
She stuck her hands through the sleeves of the top and pulled her head through, her voice singing at a medium level as the song came to an end;
I left the me I used to be
I wanna see this through
I left the me I used to be
if only you'd see it too
well I wonder what you've become
you pull me back when I try to run
Grace smiled to herself, and walked back to her bed, pealing the covers open and sliding in.
She reached over and grabbed the remote before the next song could start.
She turned on her night lamp and picked up her book 'In between' by Maureen McCarthy, and began to read quietly.
Eli looked up once he saw the yellow light glow in Grace's bedroom window.
He glanced down at his watch; 8:55.
All the bedroom lights were on in the house, Eli would just have to wait until everyone went to sleep before he could talk with Grace.
He hugged himself tighter, pulling his brown coat around his body in an effort to block out the chilling night.
He could have been really smart about this. Gone to Grace's school during the day, asked the reception to pull her out of class so her stepbrother could talk to her.
Or he could have called Jessie back and asked her what day would be appropriate for him to come over; a day, or night, when Rick and Lily weren't home.
Eli sighed. The fact was he couldn't wait a day, or two, to see Grace. He was worried about her, and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep after receiving Jessie's message, he wouldn't be able to do anything until he knew, for sure, that she was ok!
ELI I was worrying as a STEPBROTHER. Not as a 'lover' or 'boyfriend'. She's my family, and I was worried about her- in a strictly, stepbrother/stepsister context!
Eli brought his hands close to his mouth and breathed a husky breath onto them, and then rubbed them together furiously.
He sat in his car, opposite the house, staring at Grace's window.
Only imagining what she looked like. But it had only been 6 weeks since they'd seen each other! She couldn't possibly have changed that much……..
But the Grace he knew wouldn't have tried to commit suicide- Eli thought to himself, and he felt a chill creep up his spine- so how much has she changed since he last saw her?
He wondered if she wore a bandage that crept all the way up her arm.
How big was the cut? - Jessie hadn't said.
He imagined all the films and t.v shows he'd seen in which someone committed suicide. They always looked pale and fragile, their wrists slit right across, blood pouring out of them.
And then, the thought that had been at the back of Eli's mind- his heart sank as he asked himself- did she do it because of me?
He felt his stomach lurched forward, he was completely guilt ridden.
Eli's thoughts were interrupted as he saw the light in Lily and Rick's bedroom go out. Now only Jessie and Grace's lights filled the house………
AUTHORS NOTE: are you getting the impression that I really like to include songs in my fics?
He he he, ok Grace is listening to 'Natalie Imbruglia' one of her songs from the album 'left of the middle' Grace was listening to 'CITY'.
