The Atlantic was gray and dirty, with no clear distinction between polluted sea and polluted sky.
The ocean was supposed to be calming.
Sir Integra had no romantic connections to the sea as other Britons did. Many of her fellow countrymen were descendents of fishermen, captains and sailors and therefore stories about the mysterious ocean were passed down through the generations. But Sir Integra's ancestors were Dutch and the extent of her childhood bedtime stories had more to do with real monsters then the ones once thought to haunt the depths.
Sir Integra was sitting alone in a swinging seat near the porch. The Bellhurst Bed and Breakfast was one of the Round Table's best kept secrets; a small inn overlooking the coast. They served excellent coffee (the only time she forwent tea for coffee) and had nice, cozy beds. The people who roomed here worked exclusively for the government and came for weekend retreats to catch up on sleep, just as Integra had. It was pleasant enough. But she had the sneaky suspicion that Bellhurst was two steps left of a mental hospital for England's loyal servants. Everyone around her was ready for a nervous breakdown.
And she couldn't find her slippers. She had padded around in her room for ten minutes looking for them. Ten minutes in a room no bigger then a sardine can, looking for slippers. She still didn't know where they were. So she went barefoot, in her pajamas and robe, to the porch, thinking to herself, "I belong in a mental hospital."
As she swung back and forth, the ocean breeze fingering strands of her straw hair, she closed her eyes and savored the salt in the air. "I'm almost by myself," she mummered. "There isn't even a phone in this building where they can contact me. I hate this." Her toes dragged in the sand as she swung back and forth. Walter had insisted she bring along one of the guards as a body guard, and Integra agreed. But he was asleep in the next room and she had been confident she could sit outside with a cup of coffee a not run into trouble. "I want noise. I want an update every 20 minutes."
Suddenly feeling resentfully energized, she stood up and started marching back to the house. She'd had enough of this holiday. It was killing her. Relaxing to her was the same as procrastinating, and every second she was away from her desk "relaxing", paper work was piling up and it was making her crazy. And worst of all, she couldn't find her slippers.
But then Sir Integra, with her stomach dropping like a rock and her vision blurring, remembered why she had taken a holiday in the first place. She also remember Walter's advice not to stand up too fast or run around or get too excited until her blood levels corrected themselves. She was overcome with dizziness. She wobbled for a second and then dropped to her knees.
She didn't want to vomit. She was sure she was going to vomit. Just the thought of the word 'vomit' made her want to vomit even more. "Fuck." She fought back the bile in her throat and thought about a cup of water. She concentrated on the image of a nice, cold glass of water with ice in it, and how she was going to get one when she got back to the house.
She breathed deeply for a little while. Finally, her stomach stopped somersaulting.
She sat up slowly, wiping her damp forehead with a slightly shaking forearm, her mind racing.
The toll on her body was more intense then it would be for anyone else, but she didn't understand why. Humans could donate a pint of blood easily, but she had a difficult time doing it. It disrupted her system.
She couldn't imagine a vampire drinking all her blood. She couldn't imagine a vampire drinking even a sip more blood then what she had given yesterday. And when this donation happened every year, the same morbid thought entered her mind; one day, this would be how she'd died. She would be old one day, and susceptible to illness but she'd have to feed Alucard again and again, no matter what condition she was in. So she'd do it, because it was her duty to do so, but that time…she simply wouldn't recover. She'd get sick, and without enough white blood cells to fight off infection, she'd just slip away. Not painlessly in her sleep, but like this, on her hands and knees, coughing and sputtering and without anyone to help her. She could see it so clearly in her mind, like it had already happened.
She sat in the sand, shaking from the chills still clutching her queasy body. And she started laughing at her own prediction.
This was pathetic. "I'm just as bad now as when I was a little girl."
When she was very, very young, about five or six and just starting to grasp the reality of death, she briefly became terrified of it. She now understood that most children go through a stage like that, when their developing minds suddenly realized they would die some day and understood what death really meant and that death was permanent, and most importantly that mummy and daddy could do nothing to stop it. But at the time, Integra was in hell and the idea was all so new and terrible. Her little six year old brain thought about it compulsively. She would lay awake at night, stare at the ceiling and keep her body completely still and fear being dead. She'd think I'm going to die some day. I'm going to die and be put into a coffin and turn into a bone person. And the worst part is I'm not going to know it. I'll just lie there. That concept alarmed her into jumping out of bed and running into her father's bedroom every time, and within seconds she'd snake under the covers with him and shiver.
Her father looked positively enormous when she was six. And his arms were warm. She could get lost in those arms so fast. A nice cuddle with him could quell any fear. Him and Bear, her stuffed toy, could chase away all the monsters under her bed.
Funny, how eight years after Integra found herself sneaking into her father's bed for a comforting snuggle, she would meet a real life monster-under-the-bed offering her immortality. But by that time, Integra was little more grown up and had not only accepted death as reality but had also accepted duty and nothing the vampire could say would make her consider any other course. The fact that Alucard was a vampire meant he'd never gotten over the fears Integra had when she was six and that made him…sad.
"Did my life just flash before my eyes?" Sir Integra wondered out loud, realizing she was still sitting in the sand, recovering. Did that actually happen to people? Yes, perhaps with her brain pumped full of adrenaline, she just had a strange reminiscence. This confirmed her suspicions from before. "Yes. I belong in a mental hospital."
This time, Integra stood up very slowly. Even then, she felt wobbly, but she didn't get sick. "I woke up too early," she decided, walking back to the house. "There was no reason not to sleep in. I'm going back to bed until at least ten..."
She stopped dead in her tracks. Something set all of her senses alight. She suddenly became acutely aware of the sand between her toes, the dampness of the breeze, the dull crashing of the waves over a mile away
She sensed a vampire.
Sensing a vampire wasn't like detecting a smell or a drop in temperature. It was more like an intrusive thought. It was like an undetectable chemical released into the air, a chemical absorbed by your skin and carried to your brain, making you suddenly and unexplainably nervous and paranoid. It was as if your dormant animal instincts were kicking in and trying to warn you that you were being watched, or that maybe your thoughts were being read. It was usually a human's last thoughts before being overtaken by the predator hiding somewhere close by.
When you feel this sensation, the wrong thing to do is stand still. Most humans stand still.
She looked casually to her left and right, not wanting to give the impression she was looking for something. She continued to slowly go back to the house. You don't run from something that's faster then you, but you also don't wait until every tissue in your body becomes saturated with fear. That's how vampires control your mind. That's how they can simply walk up to someone and overtake them without even a brief struggle.
Sir Integra smiled to her self. So her holiday wasn't without it's merits. She certainly hoped whatever ignorant bastard who was watching her was still following her. She took her time walking, moving in a lazy zig-zag pattern as if lost in thought, completely unconcerned. She wanted to lure them out, give them the sense that they could venture closer before being detected.
She wasn't armed. She didn't need to be.
Hell, she thought, let's rub it in his face. She found a rock that jutted out of the sand and tall patches of grass and sat herself on it, facing away from where she predicted her enemy to be and towards the ocean. She waited. She wasn't tense at all. She was completely at ease, with only the minor anticipation of who might appear. This was a game she'd long know how to play. She knew how enticing she must look right now, how easy a target. Come out, come out, wherever you are. Come here and let me have a good look at you.
"Sir Integra? Aren't you supposed to have a body guard with you at all times?"
Sir Integra didn't turn around, but her anticipated deflated and her shoulders slumped her so slightly. She stated flatly, "I'm mad at you right now Seres."
"But ma'am, I didn't do anything."
"It what you didn't do."
"We're you expecting my master?"
"I wasn't expecting your master. He should be at home, sleeping right now. In fact, so should you."
"I thought this couldn't wait…It was really bad…"
Integra raised her hand and demanded silence. "You've been with us for a long enough time to not be 'new' but you are anyways. Here's how this works. I give a lot of blood once a year. I give blood quite often, but in very small amounts, but once a year I give a lot. And then I come here for a weekend to sleep, eat cookies and drink coffee. And no one bothers me. If the queen has been overtaken by ghouls and been transformed into a vampire herself and London is burning…it takes me two days to find out. No matter how big the crises is, I am not useful to my own people if I'm falling over myself and passing out every time I shout. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Good," Integra sighed. "Now what happened?"
"But ma'am, you just said…"
Sir Integra turned sharply around. "You're not going to wiggle a problem in front of my nose and then take it away so I can go mad, wondering what it was. Is something wrong?"
The police girl was in her official Hellsing uniform. It was covered from head to toe with dry, flaking blood. "Um…no."
"What happened?!" Sir Integra was on her feet in a flash.
Seres's hands waved back and forth in panic. "No, no, no! Don't get upset! You're right, you're really sick and you shouldn't stand up so fast! Just…um, nevermind!"
Integra was dizzy again, but she was furious. She stumbled forward, grabbing Seres. "Tell me right now what happened!"
"Jesus, Sir!" Seres caught her commander. "Calm down!"
"If you don't tell me, Seres, so help me god I'll…"
"But master…!"
Integra thrust her face very close to Seres's. "The worst thing you're master can do is kill you, but I will give you a fate worse then death. Why did you come here? What did you have to tell me?!"
"Master needs a new bag of blood!"
Sir Integra stared at her servant and looked down at her uniform and all the blood caked onto it. She released the young vampire from her grip and allowed herself to slide down and slump in the sand. "Oh my god." Her heart was pounding. "Oh…Jesus."
Seres was distraught. She knelt down beside the older woman "He told me to tell you it was an accident. He said that's all I was allowed to say, and then also that…he needed another bag."
Sir Integra looked in horror at Seres. "Is that my blood all over you?"
"Yes." Seres's face dropped down, trying not to make eye contact with her superior.
Sir Integra was quiet for a moment. Then she burst out, "An accident?!"
"Yes." Seres almost fell backwards. She crawled a little away from Integra.
"What kind of an accident?"
"He told me I couldn't say. I don't want to say." Seres shut her eyes and shook her head, apparently trying to chase away some mental image. "I wouldn't know where to begin."
Integra's eyes feverishly raked over Seres. "But you know."
