Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

CHAPTER TEN

QUARREN
Part One

The plant was noisy, busy, and very hot. Chakotay wiped his brow as he emerged from beneath a power core he had been inspecting and logged it as operational. The sound of a woman's voice in the distance caught his attention and he found himself looking in the direction of it. He caught his breath when his eyes fell upon a beautiful woman with auburn hair that sparkled beneath the factory lights. He felt a stirring deep inside, an emotion he couldn't understand or explain. She must have felt the weight of his stare as she turned in his direction. Her eyes met his and he found himself gazing into them. The hustle and bustle of the factory around him seemed to fade into silence and he was aware of nothing but her.

"Are you listening to me, Janeway?"

The sharp tone of her supervisor demanded the woman's attention and she looked away.

"Yes, Sir."

"Then in the future you will do only the improvements I specify."

"Yes, Sir. Even if I do believe others would improve productivity."

The man scorned. "A simple "Yes Sir" will suffice."

"Yes, Sir," she said again.

The man nodded. "Then resume your task."

He walked away, but the woman didn't immediately return to her console. Instead, she turned again to Chakotay and looked once more into his eyes. Chakotay held her gaze. The pull towards her was strong, magnetic, and he could not resist its force. He walked over to her.

"Quite a tyrant, isn't he?"

"Quite a stubborn tyrant," she smiled. "If he would listen to me, he would improve productivity by at least ten percent." She held out her hand to him. "I'm Kathryn, by the way, Kathryn Janeway."

Chakotay smiled and took her hand. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm Chakotay."

"Pleased to make yours." She let go of his hand. "Been working here long?"

"No," he replied. "This is my first day."

"Really? It's my first day too."

"Heard about the work here?"

She nodded. "It's in short supply where I come from."

"Same back where I'm from." He paused. "Is your homeworld far away?"

"Yes. I'm from Earth, a planet in the Alpha Quadrant."

Chakotay stared at her incredulously and then laughed softly. "You won't believe it, but that's where I'm from ... well, at least my ancestors. I'm of Native American descent." He gestured to his tattoo. "This is a marking of my people."

"Incredible," Kathryn laughed, "absolutely incredible. I didn't know there were others from Earth here. I thought I was alone. I've met some others from the Alpha Quadrant, a Bolian and a half Klingon, but no human yet." She paused. "I'm from Bloomington, Indiana."

Suddenly the supervisor was upon them again. "Janeway, you are not paid to stand around chatting. Get back to work at once."

Kathryn frowned. "Yes, Sir."

She turned back to her console and Chakotay pretended to be busy close by. When the supervisor was out of sight, he glanced towards Kathryn and kept his voice low.

"What time do you finish?"

She turned to him. "In about an hour."

"Me too. Would you like to go to dinner? I'm sure we'll find somewhere close by."

Kathryn smiled. "I would love too."


Kathryn studied the menu before her, her mouth watering at the choices. Chakotay watched her for a while, an amused smile on his face. "Spoilt for choice?"

Kathryn raised her eyes from the menu. "What makes you think I'm not a fussy eater?"

"The way your eyes light up as you read the menu. If you were a fussy eater, your facial expressions would be different. Your eyes would dull in frustration and your forehead would frown."

"Very observant," Kathryn smiled. "A psychologist?"

"No," he replied. "Just an observer. You can learn a lot about someone from studying their face."

Kathryn gazed intently into his eyes. "And what does my face tell you?"

"That you're a confident woman, although not quite as confident as you would like others to believe, that you're observant, intelligent, intrigued by the world around you, had your share of sorrows, and that you're kind and compassionate."

Kathryn curled her lip. It was incredible that a complete stranger could know her so well.

Chakotay leant forward a little. "Am I right?"

Kathryn also leant forward, a little flirtatiously. "If I told you that, there would be no fun in finding out."

They shared another smile. As they did so, a waiter appeared.

"Can I take your order?"

Chakotay looked up at him, having already decided. "I'll take the torlanovorka ... did I say that right?"

"Yes, Sir," the waiter replied.

Kathryn looked up at Chakotay in concern. "But it says here that it contains meat. You're a vegetarian."

The waiter leant over her and pointed at the menu. "No, Madam. Torlanoorva contains meat. Torlanovorka is vegetarian."

"Oh, I see," Kathryn smiled. "My apologies."

"Can I take your order, Madam?"

"Yes," she replied. "I'll take Orlovori ... no ... Sorlovori."

"Anything to drink?"

"Just a still water."

"Sir?"

"The same. Thank you"

The waiter finished coding in the orders and then glanced up at them both. "Won't be long, Sir, Madam."

As he walked away, Chakotay eyed Kathryn curiously. "How do you know I am a vegetarian?"

Kathryn thought for a moment and wasn't quite sure. "Didn't you tell me?"

"I don't think so."

She frowned, perplexed. "Perhaps it was an assumption I made because of your culture."

"Perhaps, but not all Native Americans are vegetarians, quite the contrary."

"I don't know then," Kathryn replied. Then she smiled. "Perhaps I read it on your face."

Chakotay had to laugh at that. "Perhaps you did."


Kathryn lived in the same apartment block as Chakotay and they decided to walk home together. They had both enjoyed each others company immensely and were amazed at how comfortable they felt together. It was a still night and the street shone silver beneath the light of a beautiful silver moon. People passed them in both directions, but Kathryn was aware only of Chakotay as they walked and talked and occasionally laughed.

They reached their destination all too soon.

"Well," Kathryn said as they reached her apartment which was on the ground floor. "This is me."

Chakotay's bright eyes dulled at those words. He didn't want to part from her. He couldn't explain it, but he felt as though he belonged with her.

She was reluctant to part from him too. "Perhaps," she said hesitantly, "if you have nothing else planned, we could have dinner again tomorrow."

Chakotay eyes lit up again at that. "I would love too."

Kathryn smiled. "There's only one condition."

"What's that?"

"I make it."

He smiled again. "You have a deal."

They gazed long into each others eyes until Kathryn broke the stare. "Well, I'd better go in."

He nodded.

"If I don't see you at work tomorrow, come over at about 19:00 hours."

"I'll be there."

Kathryn smiled again and then disappeared inside. When she had gone, Chakotay felt a profound emptiness inside.


Chakotay looked around Kathryn's apartment as he entered the following evening. It was virtually identical to his. The only difference was the blue curtains Kathryn had hung over the window and the layout of the furniture. She had a lot of rather curious looking objects lying here and there, but the room was immaculately clean and everything was in its place.

"If this was Earth," Kathryn said, gesturing for him to sit, "I would offer you a coffee, but zoorv is the closest thing they have here."

"It will do me fine," Chakotay smiled.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Surprised, as she was expecting no one, Kathryn went over to answer it. An unfamiliar Vulcan man stood in the doorway. He seemed rather agitated and pushed his way in.

"I must talk to you," he said.

Kathryn glanced in concern at Chakotay, who had already got to his feet, and then back at the stranger.

"How dare you come in uninvited?"

"I believe I know you," the man continued. "I believe we come from the same place."

"I hardly think so," Kathryn replied. "All we have in common is that we're from the Federation."

"I believe there is more ... That's why I followed him here ... Had to see you ... tell you... I see you ... on a bed ... machines ... Captain ... I call you Captain..." He turned to Chakotay. "I know you too ... Maquis ... Commander..." He glanced back at Kathryn. "This isn't our life ... We're in the wrong place ... need to find out ... get back ... Had to tell you.."

Chakotay stepped forward. "The lady didn't invite you in so I suggest you leave."

"Please ... you must listen..."

"I don't know who you are or what you want," Kathryn continued, "but you're wasting your time..."

"I want nothing but what is right ... We work at the plant ... But it's wrong ... all wrong ... We're different people ... another life ... I see others too ... A hologram ... A Borg..."

"I don't care what you see," Kathryn replied. "I know who I am and so does Chakotay. Now please, leave..." She held the door open.

"But..."

Chakotay stepped even closer. "You heard the lady. Leave."

Tuvok backed away, his agitation growing. "You're making a mistake ... Captain ... You must listen ... I know you ... Commander ... together ... You're married ... More images ... Must see..."

He suddenly grabbed Kathryn in an attempt to mind meld with her but as soon as he did so, Chakotay seized him. Tuvok fought back and with his superior strength, managed to knock Chakotay to the floor. He put his fingers to Kathryn's temple, concentrating with all his might, all his might.

Kathryn moaned lightly as images filled her mind. She could see herself walk before her. She was dressed in a black and red outfit and her hair was cut short in a bob. She was talking, taking a seat. It was a black seat. She sat down, her back to view now. A viewscreen came to view ... stars ... nothing but stars ... She was on a starship ... There were voices ... She could hear Chakotay's voice ... Couldn't see him ...j ust hear him ... Wait ... Now she could see him ... He was standing beside the image of herself ... a captain ... she was a captain ... He was turning ... looking directly ahead ... his eyes ... looking into his eyes...

Then roses ... lots of roses...

Music...

Music was playing...

It was a wedding ... a bride ... She was the bride ... Flowers ... white ... a little girl...

Chakotay was close, smile ... holding hands ... a kiss...

Blood ... l ots of blood...

The Borg ... millions of voices ... one mind ... drones ... a drone...

More images ... flashing... Quickly. So quickly. Blinding. Dizzy. A rainbow. Orange. Red ... Black ... All black...

White mist.

A face ...Chakotay. He was looking down at her. She was lying on a couch. All was still, silent. She tried to sit up but Chakotay stopped her.

"Be still."

Kathryn lay back down on her couch. "What happened?"

"The Vulcan mind melded with you and when I freed him from you, breaking the connection, you lost consciousness."

"Where is he now?"

"He left." He paused. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine. A slight headache."

"Perhaps we should call a doctor. We don't know what the Vulcan did to you."

"No, I'll be alright. The headache will pass." She sat up a little now. "But what I could do with is a coffee ... I mean zoorv."

Chakotay smiled and got to his feet. "A zoorv coming up..."

She was about to say that she liked her coffee black, but Chakotay had already disappeared into the kitchen. He emerged moments later with two cups of steaming zoorv. He handed Kathryn one and she took the cup with a thank you. She stared into the contents.

Chakotay noticed. "Something wrong?"

"It's black," she said quietly."

"But isn't that how you like it?"

"Yes," she replied. "But I've never told you that." She noticed that his own coffee was white. "And you have cream in yours."

Chakotay shrugged and then smiled. "Lucky guess, I guess." He sat opposite her and took a sip of his drink.

"Do you think," Kathryn began but unsure how to say it. "Do you think there could be some truth to it? That we're not who we think we are?"

"Not for a moment," Chakotay replied.

"But when the Vulcan mind melded with me I saw things ... like memories. They were powerful ... vivid. I was seeing through his eyes. I was a Captain, on a starship. You were there too ... First Officer. We were married ... a beautiful wedding."

"Imagination can be just as powerful as memory. He could convey to you what he wanted you to see."

"But why? What could he possibly achieve?"

"I don't know," Chakotay said quietly.

Kathryn put down her coffee and stood up. "And it would explain why we're so comfortable with each other. Why I knew you were a vegetarian and how you knew I like my coffee black."

Chakotay stood up also. "Those were probably just coincidences. It seems to me that Vulcan was ill, hallucinating. I've heard a lot about something called Dysphoria Syndrome. He probably has that."

"I suppose," Kathryn replied. "The images were just so powerful ... evocative..."

Chakotay put his own drink down and went over to her. "Perhaps we were married in a past life," he said half joking, half serious.

Kathryn looked up at him and smiled softly. "Perhaps we were."

Slowly, gently, Chakotay reached out and touched her face with the back of his hand. "I certainly feel as though I have known you forever."

Kathryn gazed into his chocolate eyes and felt herself drown in the dark pools. "Me too."

She gazed into his eyes a moment longer, and then drew away from him.

"I hope you're hungry because I've cooked us a feast."

"I'm famished," Chakotay replied. "What have you made?"

"Pachebri. One of my favorite vegetarian dishes. I think you'll like it too."

Chakotay smiled. "I'm sure I will."


Kathryn watched eagerly as Chakotay took a mouthful of his meal. Her headache was gone now and she felt good. Chakotay chewed on the food a moment, and then gave a nod of approval. "Very nice."

Kathryn smiled. "One of the few dishes I can cook to perfection."

"Not fond of cooking then?"

"Not at all. Although I have to say it's mutual. Cooking isn't fond of me either."

Chakotay laughed. "Well, you'd never tell by this dish. It's delicious."

Kathryn tucked into her plateful and they continued to talk as they ate. By the time they were almost finished, soft rain began to fall outside. Both Kathryn and Chakotay turned to the small window in the room.

"Rain," Kathryn said, almost reverently. "I can't remember the last time I saw rain."

"Neither can I," Chakotay replied.

She got out of her chair and walked over to the window. She watched the gray rain fall from a dusk sky onto the people busily walking by on the street. Chakotay joined her at the window and they both looked out a while.

"Such a common occurrence of nature," Kathryn said absently, "and yet at this moment it seems so wonderful." She glanced at Chakotay and once again caught her breath as their eyes met. She felt herself being pulled towards him ... being pulled and drawn ... His body turned towards her too ... drawn by an invisible force ... a force too strong. Slowly, gently, their lips drew closer until they met in a tender kiss. It was a kiss so new and yet so familiar. As the kiss deepened, Kathryn slipped her arms around Chakotay's neck and he drew her into his arms. At last they drew away but gazed still into each others eyes.

"I know it's crazy," Chakotay whispered, "but I think I love you." He brushed his fingers against her cheek. "I know I love you."

Tears welled in Kathryn's eyes and she took his hand in hers. "I love you too."

Chakotay lowered his lips to hers again and they surrounded to another kiss.


TWO WEEKS LATER

All was a confused haze. Kathryn sat up on a biobed in sickbay and tried to make sense of the muddle in her mind. There was someone standing beside her. She turned towards the figure. It was a male. She knew him. She knew him well.

"Doctor?"

"That's right, Captain."

She looked around. She knew where she was. She was in sickbay, sickbay of a starship called Voyager. She was Captain of the ship. She was Captain Kathryn Janeway. More than that she couldn't remember. There were other memories in the way. A place she didn't know. A power plant. Yet the people were familiar. B'Elanna. Tuvok. Chakotay. Her Chakotay. Her lover. No, her husband. She raised her hand to her head. She must have been dreaming, confused realities.

"What happened?"

"You have been the victim of memory alteration, Captain," the Doctor said as gently as he could. "Voyager hit a subspace mine which was deliberately planted in our path to disable the ship. Those responsible wanted a workforce for their power plant and knew that once the ship was consumed with tetrion radiation, everyone would be forced to evacuate. You ordered everyone into escape pods and left me in charge of Voyager."

Kathryn rubbed her aching head. A memory was returning. "Were promised assistance ... A man ... Kadan..."

"That's right, Captain. Only he didn't just treat all your injuries. He altered your memories so that you would forget your real lives and be content working at the plant." He paused. "After you had all left Voyager, I had to fend off scavengers and hide Voyager inside a nebula. The Away Team..."

"Seven, Tom and ... and ... Neelix..." Kathryn said, remembering.

The Doctor nodded. "Found Voyager in the nebula and came aboard wearing protective clothing. I told them what had happened and my suspicion that the mine had been planted deliberately. I was worried about you all as I hadn't heard from you in three days. After hours of searching, Seven located your lifesigns on a planet less than three days away. When we arrived there, Tom contacted the authorities but was told he couldn't communicate with you. He was told that you were all leading happy lives and any attempt to communicate with you would be met with hostility. We knew then something was seriously wrong and that we had to get down there somehow. We found out that there is a population shortage in the Quarra system because of a disease that entered the system three years ago, claiming the lives of millions. As a result there is a labor shortage and they are doing their best to fill it.
To find you all, we had to somehow get down to the planet and infiltrating the workforce was the easiest way. We decided for Tom and Neelix to go and I gave Tom a disguise so that he wouldn't be recognized by the authorities. They managed to get jobs and immediately found where the crew had been taken. Tom got friendly with B'Elanna and we managed to get her back to Voyager safely. I was able to restore her memory, although it took a few hours to return completely." He paused. "To transport everyone from the planet, we had to shut the shield grid. We told Tom to seek out you and Chakotay, but he believed he could find a way of shutting down the shield grid without involving you or anyone else. He was successful, and we managed to transport everyone back to Voyager."

Kathryn remembered that vaguely, remembered one minute working at a console and the next being somewhere else completely. She remembered being ushered out of the room and taken to another.

"There was a lot of confusion, as we expected, so we've taken the crew to the cargo bay, where we've secured them until I can treat them individually. You, I began work on right away. Tom took the helm and got us as far away from Quarren as possible. No one is pursuing."

Kathryn looked around and saw for the first time that Chakotay was lying on a biobed next to her. She turned towards him, her heart racing. "Chakotay..."

The Doctor put a hand on her shoulder. "He's alright, Captain. He's just recovering from surgery."

Kathryn breathed in relief.

"Petal is fine too. She's in your quarters."

"Petal?" Then the image of a bouncy fluffy red haired dog entered her mind and with it a surge of love. "Oh Petal..."

"We located her on the planet and brought her back to Voyager. She had somehow been separated from you and was wandering the streets. She was hungry and slightly worse for wear, but I soon had her as good as new."

Kathryn smiled, grateful. "Thank you, Doctor." She then turned, about to get off the biobed. "I'd better go and see her. Then I'll go to the bridge, see what's going on..."

The Doctor caught her arm. "Go to your quarters by all means, Captain. But not to the bridge. You need to rest. Everything is under control."

"But..."

"No buts, Captain. This is a battle you won't win."

Kathryn sighed. "Very well, Doctor." There was not much point in going to the bridge anyway. To all extent and purposes, Voyager was crewless. All that needed to be dealt with could be dealt with tomorrow when everyone had their memories back.


Petal came running to meet Kathryn as she entered her quarters and Kathryn picked up the animal in her arms. The dog licked her face incessantly.

"Good to see you too, old girl," Kathryn laughed. "Good to see you."

The dog settled in her arms and Kathryn looked around her quarters. A lot of her memory had returned now. She remembered her childhood, remembered her mother and father and sister. She remembered joining Starfleet. Remembered Justin, Mark, getting stranded in the Delta Quadrant and Chakotay coming into her life. On a coffee table before her was a picture of her and Chakotay on their wedding day and a myriad emotions stirred inside as she relived the happiness of the moment it was taken. She was so glad he was her real husband. She saw her wedding ring gleam on her hand and was so relieved to find it was still there. Then a thought occurred to her. Why hadn't she noticed the presence of the ring on Quarren? Why hadn't Chakotay noticed it? She could only conclude that the oversight was due to the mind alteration.

Minutes later, the doors to her quarters opened, and Chakotay entered. Kathryn turned towards him. He was still dressed in his Quarren clothes, as was she, but it was the old Chakotay, the Chakotay she had long known and loved, that she saw standing before her. He smiled warmly at her.

"Seems we are married after all."

Kathryn nodded and put Petal down on the floor.

Chakotay walked over to her and opened his arms to her. Kathryn leant into him and they held each other tight.


Kathryn lay in Chakotay's arms in their bed and cherished his familiarity. He was a harbor, a bridge, that united the two existences that were still unsettling her mind. Her life on Quarren had seemed so real. She had so completely believed that she had voluntarily gone there, that she belonged there, and that she and Chakotay had a future there. It was frightening to think how easily they could have spent the rest of their lives in an existence that was not their own.

Sleep seemed to beckon her beneath the sweet lullaby of Chakotay's gentle fingers stroking her hair. She was very tired and her body was still weak from everything it had gone through over the past couple of weeks. The Doctor said she needed to take things easy and not exert herself. Her body still retained some of the drugs given to her on Quarren, and she was not to take any medications whatsoever without first consulting him.

Suddenly, a thought made it's way through the last remaining fog in her mind to the forefront of her memory, and awoke her senses: Chakotay's birthday.

She drew away from her husband and looked down at him.

"We missed your birthday," she said sadly. "It was eight days ago."

Chakotay just nodded. "It seems so. It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters," Kathryn replied. "We'll celebrate this weekend. I'll book us some time on the holodeck. We can do anything you want."

Chakotay was a moment in replying. "I'd like ... I'd like us to visit our cabin again," he said quietly. "Even though it's just a holo-simulation, there's no place in the universe more special to me."

Kathryn smiled and tenderly traced the course of his tattoo. "Then we will."

END OF PART ONE