Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
QUARREN
Part Two
The senior crew sat around the table in the briefing room, their memories fully returned, while Kathryn stood before them, addressing them.
"What happened to us was calculated. The Quarrens deliberately planted that mine in subspace so our ship would be disabled and we'd be forced to evacuate. If they've done it to us, then it's likely they've done it to others. I believe we owe it to them, and to those who may be captured in the future, to try and find out whether the authorities themselves are responsible or a delinquent group within them. If it's a black-market, so to speak, then bringing their actions to the attention of the authorities will be enough. If it's the regime as a whole, then there's little we can do except perhaps place a warning in this region of space for entering vessels."
"It seems to me it was the whole regime," Tom said. "If they were ignorant of what was going on, then they wouldn't have objected to us communicating with you."
"Perhaps," Kathryn answered. "But from what I remember, Quarren offers asylum to whoever needs it. It's a good way of acquiring workers. For all the authorities knew we may have been asylum seekers and so it was in our interest to prevent communication." She paused. "We need to find out. We need to go back and talk to the Quan committee."
B'Elanna stood up in concern and disbelief. "If we go back, they'll kidnap us again."
"I'm not proposing we go all the way back, just close enough so we are within communication range. And we'll be prepared. They won't get us a second time."
Harry stood up also. "I agree with the Captain." He turned towards Kathryn. "While I was on the planet, I became..." He paused. "Let's just say I became close to someone."
The senior crew glanced at each other with a glint in their eye.
"Her name was Arlei and she works for the authorities. I contacted her last night and she tells me she knew nothing about us having our memories altered."
Kathryn walked over to the young ensign, anger brewing. "You contacted her last night?"
Harry swallowed. "Yes, Ma'am."
Tom was also now on his feet. "You God damn idiot, Harry! You may aswell have covered Voyager in red flags and cried 'Here we are, come and get us!'"
Harry turned to him. "I wanted to know what was going on. I love her!"
Kathryn put up her hand. "I don't want to hear it, Harry! I've heard it all before. As soon as a pretty girl shows interest in you, all your common sense and Starfleet training disappear into thin air! And you wonder why I don't promote you? Sometimes I don't think you're worthy of the rank you've got!"
"I disguised the signal," Harry protested. "They wouldn't be able to trace us..."
"There's always ways, Harry!" She paused, trying to swallow her frustration. "But this will keep for later. You say this woman knew nothing of what was going on?"
"No, Ma'am. She says she was told we were all suffering from Dysphoria Syndrome and had to be treated. She and a few others wondered why there was so many cases of it lately, but none of them questioned Dr Kadan. He's greatly respected and revered."
"What else did she say?"
"Nothing. The connection terminated as we left communication range."
"And what were you going to do with this information?"
Harry lowered his eyes. "Nothing, Captain."
"Nothing?"
"I thought now we were free and back on course for the Alpha Quadrant, you would want to forget Quarren ever happened." He paused. "But there was something I was going to do."
Kathryn sighed. "And what was that?"
He was a moment in answering. "Leave Voyager."
Kathryn stared at him in disbelief and it was a moment before she could speak. "You're serious."
"I love her, Captain. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone. I want to be with her."
"But what about your family back on Earth?"
"They're thousands of light years away. It may take us years to reach them, decades. I have a chance for a new life on Quarren with Arlei and I want to take it."
BElanna now questioned. "But what about all of us ... your friends..."
Harry turned to her. "I'll miss you, of course I will, but I have to make a life for myself. You all have lives of your own. You and Tom have each other and the Captain has Commander Chakotay. I have no one. I'd be foolish to throw away this chance of happiness."
Kathryn had softened now and put her hand on his shoulder. "I understand, Harry, of course I do. But that's all it would be, a chance. You hardly know this girl. If things don't work out, you'd be left on Quarren forever, no turning back."
"I understand that, Captain. But I love her and I want to be with her." He paused. "I was going to leave this morning, but then I heard about this meeting to discuss what to do about other people who may have been kidnapped."
Chakotay, who had been quiet so far, spoke. "This woman, Harry. Does she have family on Quarren?"
Harry turned to him. "No, Sir. She has no one."
"Then why doesn't she come and live on Voyager instead of you going to her?"
"I thought about it, but I couldn't ask it of her. She has a good life on Quarren. I couldn't ask her to give that up to spend what could be the rest of her life on a starship."
"If she really loves you, she might want too," Kathryn said sadly. "At least give her the option of refusal."
Harry hesitated, but then nodded. Kathryn tapped his shoulder and then turned back to her senior officers.
"Alright. Tom, set a course back towards Quarren. Seven, monitor the region of space ahead thoroughly. We don't want any nasty surprises this time. Tuvok, inform me when we are within communication range." She turned to her husband. "And you, Chakotay, you take the bridge. The rest of you, dismissed."
Everyone began to leave the room but Kathryn stopped Harry as he stepped away from her. "Not so fast, Ensign. I want to talk to you."
Harry took a deep breath. "Yes, Ma'am."
She gestured to a seat and the young man sat down. She sat opposite him and waited until they were finally alone before speaking.
"There is no emotion as powerful as being in love, but also no other emotion that makes us do things that we might later come to regret. Your life is your life and you have the right to live it wherever you want. But I don't want you to make a hasty decision. If this woman doesn't want to stay with you on Voyager, think long and hard before deciding to go and stay with her on Quarren. There'll be no escape route. You'll be stuck there for the rest of your life with no hope of ever seeing your family again."
Harry said nothing, just kept his eyes on the floor. Kathryn could see he was on the verge of tears and gently lay her hand on his shoulder. "And remember, you're not alone on Voyager. We all love you. And anytime you need someone to talk to, someone to confide in, I'm here. Not as your Captain, but as your friend."
Harry looked up at her and smiled wanly. "Thank you."
Kathryn looked at his sadly. "You miss your family terribly, don't you?"
Harry nodded. "I keep telling myself that I'll see them again, but sometimes it gets hard to keep believing it, to keep hoping after all this time. Sometimes I think it would be easier to give up trying to get home than to keep trying but never reaching there."
"I understand. But remember the lines from that old poem. 'You can never tell how close you are. It may be near when it seems so far...' We all have to keep believing, Harry, keep hoping. And it's in our belief, in our hope, that we find our strength. "
Harry nodded.
Kathryn took his hand and squeezed it. "And what about all the women on Voyager? Isn't there someone onboard who could be special to you?"
"We don't choose who we love, Captain."
"No," she replied. "No, we don't."
"And I love Arlei."
"And how many other women have you thought you've loved? I don't mean to sound harsh, Harry. But can you really be sure it's love you feel for this woman?"
"As sure as I can be. I've never felt what I've felt for her for anyone."
"Not even Libby?"
"Except perhaps Libby."
Kathryn gazed at Harry sadly for a moment. "For what it's worth, Harry, I don't think it would be wise for you to leave us, and I'm not just saying that because I don't want you to go. Being in love is one thing, but loving someone, that is often something very different. Believe me, I'm not trying to philosophize here or define what love is or what it isn't or how long it takes for us to love someone. Who knows. All I'm saying is be certain, Harry. Be certain that what you feel for this woman is love before you make an irrevocable decision about the rest of your life."
"Coffee, black."
A cup of steaming black coffee materialized, but just as Kathryn was about to sit down and drink it, Tuvok's voice sounded over the comm system in her Ready room.
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway. We are within communication range."
Kathryn put down her coffee, a little regretfully, and answered. "Open a channel to Quarren and direct transmission to my ready room."
"Yes, Captain."
She turned on her monitor and moments later an unfamiliar face filled the screen.
"This is Erlan Bord of the planet Quarren. What is the nature of this communication?"
Kathryn folded her hands together as she addressed him. "My name is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager. I would like to speak to the Quan committee."
"No such communication is possible."
"I have important matters to discuss with them."
"Permission is required to talk to the committee."
"Then please obtain that permission for me. It is imperative that I speak to them"
The man hesitated. "Very well. I shall make a request. Be prepared for refusal."
The screen went blank and as she was waiting, Kathryn took a sip of her coffee. A few minutes later, the man appeared on screen again.
"Your request has been accepted. You will be put through directly to the committee"
"Thank you."
Seconds later, the image of what appeared to be a council chamber appeared on the screen. There were several men and women sitting in a circle and were all looking up at the screen. One of them, a male who was perhaps the leader, spoke.
"Captain Janeway. Would we be correct in believing that you are the same Captain Janeway who we are told was kidnapped by members of our race and subjected to memory altering surgery by Dr Kadan?"
"That is correct. My entire crew was kidnapped and put under mind-control."
"Then please accept our sincere apologies. After being informed of such activities by Arlei Marvo, we are investigating the activities of Dr Kadan."
"I am glad to hear it," Kathryn replied. "But my concern is for those who may have been kidnapped like we were and subjected to mind-control. Will their true memories be restored?"
"Yes, Captain. All those we find who have been subjected to memory alteration, will have their memories restored. That I promise you."
Kathryn smiled. "Then I am content."
Kathryn waited anxiously in her ready room for Harry to come and see her and tell her his decision. She had allowed him to transport to the planet to discuss things with Arlei and was told by Seven that he had just returned. At last, the door chime sounded, but it was a moment before Kathryn was able to give the command to enter. She had come to love Harry dearly and the thought of leaving him behind on this very questionable planet was awful. She had to force herself to be strong and turned towards the door, bracing herself for whatever news Harry had to deliver. The doors opened and Harry came in. There was a huge grin on his face and he spoke before Kathryn had a chance too.
"Arlei's coming to Voyager," he said. "I told her everything that has happened to us, how we got stranded in this Quadrant and how we've been trying to make it home for the past seven years, and she said she would like to be a part of our journey. She has nothing keeping her on Quarren, except a job, and nothing to lose by coming to live with us, even if things don't work out between the two of us."
Relief consumed Kathryn and she smiled happily. "That's wonderful, Harry. Wonderful."
"I'm so happy, Captain," he beamed, "so happy."
Kathryn went over to him and lay her hand on his shoulder. "And so you deserve to be."
"She's speaking to the authorities right now, informing them of her decision, and will contact us when she's ready to be transported. "
Kathryn nodded. "I look forward to meeting her."
"You'll love her, Captain. You really will."
Kathryn smiled. "I'm sure I will." She stepped away from him. "There's just some things we need to discuss... like where this young lady is going to sleep"
"She can share my quarters."
Kathryn had to force back a smile at that expected answer. "Don't you think it would be more courteous to give her a room of her own, not to mention sensible given the circumstances?"
"Circumstances?"
"When you and she met, you were under mind-control. You need to get to know each other for who you really are. This way you can take things slowly, no pressure."
Harry sighed. "I suppose you're right."
Kathryn smiled. "I'll have one of the unused dorms converted into a room for her."
"Time for a coffee?"
Kathryn looked up from her monitor into the face of her husband.
"Only in my dreams. Today seems to be the day I am destined to have every coffee break interrupted. Three cups, and not one did I get to enjoy ... hot."
Chakotay laughed. "Maybe fourth time lucky, although you shouldn't be drinking so much of the stuff. It isn't good for you."
Kathryn sighed. "Is this health lecture time?"
"Yes." He went over to the replicator and replicated two cups of coffee. He took one over to her and kept the other for himself. "Make this one your last of the day."
Kathryn smiled, secretly liking his concern. "Yes, husband." No sooner had she raised the cup to her lips than the door chime sounded. She glanced at Chakotay. "Told you." She then turned to the door. "Come in."
It was Seven.
"What can I do for you, Seven?"
"I would like to discuss with you the matter of my accommodation."
Kathryn put down her coffee. "Go ahead."
"I do not think it is fair that the woman Ensign Kim is bringing to Voyager is to have quarters created for her while I have to continue sharing a dormitory and regenerating in Cargo Bay 2."
Kathryn folded her arms, a glint in her eye. "Are you saying you would like to have your own quarters, Seven?"
"Yes, Captain," she answered boldly. "That is precisely what I am saying."
"Then consider it done. We'll have another dorm converted for you and see if we can have your alcove installed there." Kathryn stood up and smiled at the surprised look on her protégé's face. "There's no need to look so surprised, Seven. I've been waiting for you to bring this up. It's only right that you should have your own quarters. I just wanted you to become aware of that need yourself."
The door chime sounded again. Kathryn called out. "Come in."
This time Harry came in with a pretty young woman who was clearly Arlei. Apart from black markings on her white forehead, she looked completely human. Her hair was a long curly brown and her eyes were a distinct shade of violet. She was wearing a black outfit that resembled a Starfleet uniform and showed off her slender figure.
"Captain, Commander, Seven, I'd like you to meet Arlei."
Kathryn smiled. "Welcome on board Voyager."
The woman smiled in return. "Thank you for allowing me to stay with you. I promise I will work hard. I haven't worked as an engineer for a long time now, but I will do all that I can to re-educate myself."
"How about you concentrate on settling in first," Kathryn said kindly. "We can discuss a work placement for you another time."
Suddenly, Neelix's voice sounded over the comm system.
"Ladies and gentleman, if I may have your attention please. You'll be pleased to know that to celebrate our release from Quarren, thanks to Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris, Seven of Nine, the Doctor and myself, and to celebrate the arrival of Arlei Marvo, there will be a party in the Mess Hall starting at 20:00 hours tonight. Hope to see you all there. Neelix out."
Kathryn smiled at the newest addition to the Voyager family. "I hope you like parties, Arlei."
"I certainly do, Captain."
Another voice sounded over the comm system, only this time it was the Doctor's. "Doctor to Captain Janeway. Please report to sick bay."
Kathryn sighed. Were the demands ever going to stop? "On my way, Doctor." She turned once more to Harry and Arlei.
"I will speak to you both later."
"Yes, Captain," Harry said, understanding that was their cue to leave.
As they left, Kathryn turned to Seven. "Seven, go and inform Lieutenant Crowman that we will need another dorm converted for you."
Seven nodded. "I will do so immediately."
She left the room and the doors shut behind her, leaving Kathryn and Chakotay alone. Chakotay went over to his wife and Kathryn leant her head against his chest briefly as his arms rested on her shoulders.
"I'll be so glad when things get back to normal around here," she said wearily.
She allowed herself the luxury of Chakotay's closeness a moment, and then drew away from him.
"You okay with taking the bridge until Tuvok's shift?"
He nodded.
"Then I'd better get to sickbay."
She kissed his cheek and then left the room.
Sickbay was deserted when Kathryn arrived. The Doctor was in his office and he stood up as she entered the room.
"You wished to see me, Doctor."
"Yes," he replied. "Take a seat."
Kathryn took a seat and the Doctor sat again. He seemed nervous and his anxiety made Kathryn anxious.
"What is it, Doctor?"
He bit his holographic lip, unsure how to proceed. "I'm afraid I have something to tell you, Captain."
Kathryn sighed. "Don't tell me. You wish to go and live on Quarren too."
"No," the Doctor answered, almost hurt at the suggestion. "I am well passed that foolishness. This is about a medical matter."
Kathryn's anxiety kicked in again. "Medical matter?"
The Doctor fidgeted nervously. "When I treated your memory alteration, I also, as a matter of course, briefly examined you to make sure you were in good physical health." He paused. "The exam showed that you ... It showed that you are pregnant."
The blood drained out of Kathryn's face. "Pregnant?"
"I wanted to wait until your memory had fully returned before telling you."
"But it's impossible," Kathryn continued, her voice quiet. "Chakotay and I have always been so careful..."
"On Voyager," the Doctor continued, "but you conceived on Quarren. The drugs they gave you seem to have stimulated ovulation. It may have been a side effect or a deliberate manipulation. They are under populated after all."
Kathryn stood up, leaning against the back of the chair for support. "And you're certain, absolutely certain, that I'm pregnant?"
"Without a doubt, Captain. You're six days pregnant."
Kathryn was visibly trembling and the Doctor put his hand on her shoulder. "Would you like me to summon Chakotay?"
"Yes," Kathryn answered. Then she turned to him. "I mean no. I don't want him to know... not yet..."
"But, Captain..."
"I said no, Doctor!" She paused. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."
WIthout another word, she left.
It was almost 9pm and the party in the mess hall was in full swing. People came and went, but still there was no sign of Kathryn. Chakotay was beginning to worry. He hadn't seen her for over four hours and as far as he knew there was no crisis on the ship to keep her from the party. The last time he had seen her was when the Doctor had summoned her to sickbay. Was something wrong? He had seen the Doctor only an hour ago and, thinking of it now, he had been acting strangely, almost as though he didn't want to talk to him. He put down his glass of non-alcoholic wine on a table nearby and made his way to the door. Just as he was about to leave, Kathryn entered. She was still dressed in uniform and had made no effort for the party.
"Kathryn," Chakotay said in relief. "I was just about to come and find you."
"I had some things to do," she said.
She looked pale, distracted, and Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she said, forcing a smile. "Just tired."
"What did the Doctor want to see you about in sickbay?"
She hesitated. "This and that ... nothing really." She looked over to the drinks table, wanting to change the subject. "I could do with a drink."
Neelix interrupted. "And there are lots of drinks to choose from, Captain. Orange juice, apple juice, leola root juice, strawberry juice, blackcurrant juice, tomato juice, wines of all kinds, alcoholic or non-alcoholic, spirits and tea, both regular and herbal. But I suppose you'll have the usual."
Kathryn's mind was all over the place, swimming around in a storm trying to reach an embankment. "Usual?"
"Coffee..."
"No," she replied, finding a brief respite from the storm. "Not tonight. I'll just have an apple juice."
"As you wish, Captain."
The talaxian hurried on his way to fulfill her request.
"Very proud of you," Chakotay smiled, "turning down a coffee."
Kathryn smiled weakly but said nothing. Moments later Neelix returned with the apple juice.
"One glass of apple juice for Captain Janeway."
Kathryn took the glass gratefully. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Captain. Just don't drink it all this minute. Now you're here, we can make a toast."
Kathryn's stomach churned. "A toast?" The Doctor couldn't have told them...
"To the happy couple."
Her stomach somersaulted now.
"Harry and Arlei," Neelix continued.
Relief consumed Kathryn. "Of course," she smiled. "Harry and Arlei."
Neelix saw that Chakotay didn't have a glass and shook his head. "No drink, Commander? We can't have that, not for a toast. I'll get you an apple juice, just like the Captain."
Before Chakotay could speak, the talaxian had disappeared. He returned seconds later with another drink.
"There we go, Commander. Now you're ready." He cast a quick glance around the room. "Everyone else seems to have a glass." He saw Harry and Arlei standing together in the far side of the room. "And Harry and Arlei are present. Now would be the perfect time."
He disappeared again and, moments later, the sound of silver on glass cut across the room.
"Ladies and gentleman, if I could have your attention please..."
Silence fell on the room and all eyes turned towards Neelix.
"I would like to take this moment to say how wonderful it is to have you all back with us and to welcome Arlei onboard. I hope that Voyager becomes as dear a home to her as it has to all of us, and that she and Harry have a wonderful future together. Let's all make a toast. To Harry and Arlei."
The crowd responded. "Harry and Arlei."
As Neelix finished, chatter once more filled the air. Kathryn watched as Tom and B'Elanna talked and laughed together in the distance. Tom's hand was resting on B'Elanna's abdomen, the baby evidently kicking. She watched a moment and then looked away. As she did so, she saw that the Doctor's eyes upon her. They were questioning, concerned, and she had to look away from him too. Perhaps it had been wrong to come to the party. She wasn't ready for this. She needed to be alone. She felt a hand upon her shoulder. It was Chakotay's.
"I'm just going to talk to Ayala."
"Alright," she said quietly.
As soon as he left her, the Doctor approached. Kathryn turned away again, but there was no escaping him.
"Have you told the Commander?"
"No," Kathryn replied. "And I don't want to discuss this here."
"I understand that, but I'm worried about you."
"Well there's no need to be, I'm fine."
"You've had a shock, Captain. You need to talk and..."
"I said I'm fine and I don't want to hear another word about this..."
"But..."
"Not another word!"
The Doctor was subdued and nodded regretfully. "Yes, Captain."
The night was still and quiet but Kathryn couldn't sleep. Thought was chasing thought in her mind and everything was confusion. How could she have a child and captain Voyager? It was unthinkable. But so were the alternatives...
Unable to quieten the confusion in her mind, Kathryn got out of bed, put on her nightrobe, and made her way into the living room, leaving Chakotay and Petal asleep. In dim light, she replicated herself a mug of hot chocolate and went to sit on the couch. Outside the window, stars flew by at warp speed and Kathryn gazed out at them as she tried to find a way through the storm in her mind. Somehow she had to deal with this. There was a life growing inside her, a precious life, that was depending on her for survival even more than anyone on Voyager. She had to be strong, she had to face up to her responsibilities...
"Trouble sleeping?"
Kathryn turned sharply at the sound of Chakotay's voice. "Chakotay ... I thought you were asleep..."
He walked over to her, concern in his kind eyes. " What's wrong?"
Kathryn turned away from him and was visibly tense. "We need to talk," she said quietly. "There's something I have to tell you."
Chakotay slowly sat beside her. "What is it?"
Kathryn bit her lip, mustered all her strength, and then looked up at him. "I'm pregnant."
A light filled Chakotay's eyes, but otherwise he was still. "Pregnant?"
"Six days. I conceived on Quarren." She took his strong hands in hers. "Under Federation Law we have five choices. Either we continue the pregnancy, we freeze the embryo until we are ready to be parents, we find a surrogate mother or use an artificial womb to nurture the child, or we donate the embryo to a childless couple to be raised by them." She paused. "I want to continue the pregnancy, Chakotay. Freezing and transplanting an embryo carries so many risks and I don't want to take them."
"Of course not," Chakotay said gently.
"But how are we going to manage? We barely have enough time for each other, let alone for a child..."
"We'll make the time. I'll work longer hours so that you can work less..."
"And what? Kill yourself? You're working too long hours as it is..."
Chakotay brushed a loose strand of hair away from her face. "We'll work something out. The others will help us. We'll manage."
Kathryn looked away from him as tears welled in her eyes. "I shouldn't have let this happen ... not even on Quarren..."
"We were under mind-control. It wasn't your fault. And I'm just as responsible as you."
Kathryn tearfully looked away. "This is so terrible ... all of it..."
Chakotay took her hand in his. "Terrible is when we're under attack from the Borg or another hostile species. Terrible is when an away team is missing or we're trapped in an anomaly. But this, a new life ... this is wonderful..."
"Exactly," Kathryn said, turning back to him. "A new life. I have a new life growing inside me, a baby, our baby. There could be no life more precious. And yet here I am wishing it didn't exis, yet at the same time wanting it more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life."
"Oh Kathryn..."
"I don't know how to cope with this, Chakotay. I just don't know..."
Chakotay squeezed her hand. "You don't have to cope with it, not alone. This isn't your responsibility, it's our responsibility. And together we can do it, I know we can." He moved his hand gently to her abdomen.
"There's a miracle taking place inside you. Let's not try to make sense of it or ask why. Let's just be thankful."
Kathryn nodded, entwined her hand momentarily with his, and then they held each other close.
END OF PART ONE
