You people are awesome. I thought 'Don't Pick Up' would turn out less popular than RIR, but it seems I was wrong. With the exception of Sameetvik Sing, here are replies to your reviews:

shi-chan: Ah, thank you muchly. Sh! Who says the phone stalker is Kakashi? o.0 Believe it or not, I had to leave the ending alone for a while because I kept laughing while I was typing. It's a little too short, but the conversations might get longer if I can restrain myself. Merry Christmas to you :3

The Stranger: Yes, very odd plot. Ph34r my weird plots! And yes, KakaIru is an excellent pairing.

YaoiloverS: o.o I can't believe you gave me a review. I love your stories fangirl worshiping and I am happy you like my story so far. Now to have one more of my favorite authors to review.false hope fills the roomThank you for telling your friends

Isolde1: Sankyou Your stories would blow mine away on literacy, though.

Iceheart19: Yes, I feel bad for Naruto as well. Just about every part was about Iruka and hopefully remain so. Scared Iruka you shall have... hopefully .

Kira: Ah, yes, the idea just popped into my head and I ran with it. Please keep looking for updates (Fridays)

eyes0nme19: I will as long as people keep supporting me.

Rulkai: Yes, it does suck. Well, thanks for waiting.

Polka dot: I must be creepy, for I own only half a brain.

Riyo-Sama: Thank you I don't really like angst, but I have habit for writing it.

Tamara2187: I have something speacial in store for Naruto .

-

"Don't Pick Up" by closet-monsters

When the alarm clock rang, Iruka was already up. Hell, Iruka had been/ up; he couldn't sleep.

Now, Iruka had no mental issues besides the one that made him want to be a teacher, so he had not wanted to stay up all night like a troubled teenager. No, what kept him up was the thought of that phone call.

He knew it was a prank... At least, he thought it was a prank, but what if it wasn't? He imagined some perverted, dirty old man sitting at his window, watching Iruka's house through a pair of binoculars? The teacher shuddered involuntarily.

Grumbling, Iruka rose from his bed and made it, tucking the sheets neatly into place, and fluffing his pillow.

Naruto drifted downstairs like a zombie, rubbing sleep from his baby blue eyes. The smell of food had roused the blonde from his death-like sleep, which technically proved Iruka's cooking could raise the dead. Said man was clad in an apron, flipping bacon over like an expert.

"Good morning," Iruka greeted him tiredly, not even looking up from his task.

"You look like shit," Naruto informed him, sliding into the table set for two. "What happened."

"You watch your tongue!" Iruka growled darkly, glaring a bit. "No wonder you get into trouble so much; I want to know who taught you that language."

Naruto grumbled, knowing Iruka wouldn't really expect an answer from him. Iruka knew he was right though, he'd looked at himself earlier in the mirror before coming down. Red, blood-shot eyes that were beginning to develop rings around them had stared back at him. Technically, he did 'look like shit'; putting it crudely.

"Gonna drive me to school today?" Naruto asked when a plate of breakfast was placed before him.

"If you want me to." The English teacher replied, sitting down in the seat across from him. He began to pick at his bacon before adding, "That is, if you want to be seen by me."

Naruto gagged, lower lip quivering at that. He then cleared his throat and shoved a whole egg in his mouth, chewing at it with fierce determination. Iruka sighed.

"Naruto, are you ashamed of me?"

Naruto bit his lower lip and was about to speak when Iruka held up his hand, stopping his speech.

"Do me a favor and swallow that egg first." He said, giving a wan smile.

The blonde complied, swallowing his fried egg. "I.." He began, then looked up at his adoptive father, eyes sparking like blue electricity. "I am not ashamed of you. Okay? Can we go to school now in peace, please?"

"Finish your breakfast first and let me check your pockets before we go."

"Aw, no!" Naruto whined, giving a small whimper.

"No. Yesterday you brought spray paint to paint that thing on the walls and Sarutobi blamed me." Iruka argued.

"It was a mural, Iruka-aniki!"

"It was our principle in a bikini!"

"Oh yeah... It suits him, though."

"Naruto!"

-

The teacher's lounge was buzzing with teachers hyped up on coffee. Iruka now leaned against the wall into the corner, coffee mug shaking slightly in his hand. He watched Kakashi slink into the room, late as usual, and take his attendance card from his mailbox.

Iruka tried not to laugh when the silver-haired man opened the clock that marked the time of when they came in, as he would not take part in giving the man away. Kakashi turned back the hands of the clock to a proper time to be in and had the card stamped before returning the clock to normal time.

He was placing the glass face back onto it when he noticed Iruka watching him. The man visibly stiffened, then continued his task like it was nothing. Afterwards, he wandered over to Iruka, visible eye arched.

"Good morning, Iruka-san." He greeted.

"Good morning, Kakashi." Iruka replied, sipping his coffee.

"Okay, what do I have to do?" Kakashi asked straight out, seeing everyone else distracted for the moment.

"Do?" Iruka asked innocently.

"I know you saw me and Sarutobi has been riding me all week about being late. So, what do I have to do for you to keep this a secret between us?"

"You don't have to do anything for me, Kakashi-san," The English teacher smiled. "For now. You'll just owe me one."

Kakashi was silent for a while, watching him quietly with his one good eye.

"You don't look so good this morning, Iruka. Did you get any sleep?" He finally asked, itching the bridge of his nose. Iruka held back a blush of embarrassment at that.

"I didn't get any sleep." Iruka confirmed for him. "Something kept me up all night."

"Oh? What caused that? It wasn't Naruto, was it?" Kakashi asked, though his tone seemed bored.

"Naruto?! What happened now?" Tsunade asked, quite literally shoving Kakashi out of her way to talk with Iruka.

"No no, not Naruto it was-" Before Iruka could continue, the bell sounded for school to get in. "I'll tell you at lunch. For now, let's go get some knowledge into our students."

"You really are a poor sap, aren't you?" Tsunade asked him, teasingly of course. "I think you mean let's 'pound' some knowledge into the students. Homework galore!"

"You know, I always did hate algebra; every one of the teachers were evil dragons from hell." Kakashi whispered to Iruka, who muffled a chuckle.

"I'll show you hell if you don't shut your trap. I'm old enough to have been your teacher!" She growled, which didn't help her case. The gym teacher beat a hasty retreat, leaving Tsunade to scratch up a -for once- innocent Jiraiya, who had just come over to say good morning.

-

"All those who turned in a test yesterday will get your results back today." Iruka announced to the class, setting down a stack of papers on one of the students' desks... Chouji, wasn't it? He smiled to the brunette boy before, slapping his palm hard on the last desk of the row... That was Nara Shikamaru sitting there, he guessed.

The boy had been sleeping and still was even when Iruka had made sound loud enough to wake those even thinking of taking a nap.

"Chouji," He sighed, "Would you wake up Shikamaru?" He asked. The boy shrugged slightly and gave Shikamaru's side a slight poke.

"This better be good." Shikamaru slurred sleepily, then turned his face upwards to face a smiling Iruka. "Shit."

"So glad you could join us, Mr. Nara. Maybe if you studied as much as you slept, you wouldn't have this grade." He slid a paper from the stack over to him.

"D?" Shikamaru asked. "This sucks, my mom's gonna pitch a fit." He grumbled as Iruka moved on.

By the end of class, everyone was groaning over their grades; Iruka's tests were never that easy despite his nicer-than-the-other-teacher's attitude.

"Make-ups will be on Thursday, so that gives you all the time to study. If you were absent, you have a chance to make up the grade as well. I expect the assignment on the board to be done and with you tomorrow morning; not abducted by UFOs or in your dog's digestive track. Have a nice day, you are dismissed when the bell rings." He announced. His soft brown eyes cast a glance up to the back, where Naruto sat.

Naruto was leaning over his desk, staring hard at the paper Sasuke had on his desk. Sasuke was the only one who had gotten an A on the test. Hell, he was the only one who had an A in the class; the rest were hanging onto Cs and Bs by the skin of their teeth. Sasuke cast a glance over his shoulder and snorted at the blonde, promptly flipping the paper over so his grade couldn't be seen. Naruto, of course, fumed.

The bell rang, dismissing the students. Iruka reached out and caught Naruto by the collar, giving him a sort of knowing, scrutinizing look.

"Don't get in trouble today. I know Sasuke is messing with you, but don't be the one to start a fight, okay? Don't you dare roll your eyes at me! Study for the test or I will fail you, Naruto." That said, he gave his 'little brother' an affectionate noogie and shoved him out of class into the crowd.

Iruka sighed, beginning to return to his desk when something black on one of the desks. He glided over to the spot, looking down to study the desk. "Iruka-sensei is a prick." He read aloud and then twitched. "Prick?!"

-

By lunch he could have punched a hole through the plaster wall; that soda machine better not give him hell this time.

As it feeling his hostile aura, the soda machine did not put up a fight and spat out his drink when he pressed in what he wanted. He then removed his bento box lunch from the faculty refrigerator and took a seat, immediately surrounded by Kakashi, Tsunade, and... Jiraiya (WTF?)

"So tell us why you're looking so exhausted today," Tsunade said, stirring her mug of tea with a spoon.

"Yeah," smirked Jiraiya, "You're always so bouncy, no wonder why you're still a virg-"

He stopped his sentence there, as Tsunade had cut off his air supply with her hands.

"Virgo." He choked out, trying to claw Tsunade off. "I was going to say 'Virgo'." She looked at him knowingly, but let go, turning back to Iruka.

"It was a phone call. Some student called me up last night..." He blushed violently at this and lowered his head. "They called me, voice disguised, and verbally violated me."

Tsunade looked mortified, Jiraiya chuckled, and Kakshi just sat there. Then, Tsunade turned and boxed Jiraiya's ears. "You called Iruka?! How low have you sunk?"

"It wasn't me!" He yelped, covering his ears protectively. "Not only do I not swing on that side of the pole, but I only do that to you, Tsunade-sama!"

"So that WAS you?" She got angrier, if possible.

"So don't let it get to you and do the same." Kakashi commented while the two were fighting. Iruka gave him a confused look.

"Nani?" He asked, not quite grasping what Kakashi was suggesting. Kakashi sighed, as if he were about to explain to a child.

"They are doing this to scare you, so if you say something back to them, they probably won't be able to keep up their disguise any longer and hang up." The gym teacher explained, nudging away his already finished food and tugging up his scarf over his nose.

"I never thought of that," Iruka mumbled to himself. "I guess it couldn't hurt.."

"Write 'em up." Tsunade commented, dusting her hands off from just pummeling Jiraiya.

"I don't know who they are... Probably the same kid that wrote crude language on one of my desks." The brunette muttered. "I haven't slept since the night before."

"So take a nap during your free period." Jiraiya suggested. "That's what I always do."

It was an excellent idea... But his free period is when he went to watch the students -more like Kakashi- play in gym! Maybe he could skip it, just this once. He caught Kakashi looking to the side at him and hid a blush; he must have been thinking the same thing, as he was sure both gym teachers were aware of his presence by now.

-

In the end, Iruka had taken the nap instead of going to gym and he felt a lot better at the end of the day. Naruto, surprisingly, was waiting for him at the front door of the school, smiling. Iruka cold not help but smile back.

"So how was your day?" He asked the blonde as they both got into the green van.

"I beat Sasuke today in jump rope." Naruto replied, swelling up with pride. Iruka muffled laughter at the sight of him and turned the ignition on; Naruto was just so cute at times.

"You didn't pull a prank today either, I'm proud." The brunette smiled over him, then concentrated on backing their car out of the driveway. "And even though I know you're planning to do something bad one day this week, I'm going to make you a special dinner tonight."

"What is it?" He asked, over-large blue eyes shimmering.

"How about... Homemade ramen?" Iruka suggested, screeching the car to a hault on the road when Naruto tackled him. Horns were being used and people were shouting at him out their windows. "Naruto, get off!"

There was no food over ramen, but Naruto was always used to eating the instant kind, from a cup. Iruka usually only made ramen on his birthday, so he jumped at the thought of having it on a regular night. He reluctantly let go of his adoptive father, just enough so he could drive.

"What kind are you going to make?" He asked Iruka, settling back into his seat.

"We're going to the grocery store and you're going to figure out which kind you want." He replied, turning into the parking lot of the said store.

-

Naruto ate every bit of the ramen -leaving a bit for Iruka, of course- and was even sick for eating too much. Iruka shook his head at the blonde, standing behind him and rubbing the boy's back while he tossed up some of his dinner.

"Ugh... Great dinner, Aniki, sorry I had to get rid of some of it." Naruto groaned, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand. The brunette just smiled and patted him on the back knowingly.

Then, the phone rang.

Iruka did not think of the phone call from earlier, but the memory came flooding back once he heard the voice.

"Iruka?" Came the husky voice from the receiver.

"T-that's right." He mumbled, beginning to walk upstairs. He remembered Kakashi's suggestion and refrained from hanging up.

"What are you doing?"

"Climbing the stairs.." Iruka replied, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Mmm, in what? What are you wearing?" Came the voice and then a muffled moan.

'It's not working, Kakashi.' Iruka thought franticly. "Clothes."

"Ah, so black slacks." The voice breathed. "White, button up shirt...there's a stain on that pocket, you know."

"What?" He looked down at his clothes. Black pants, white shirt, and... there was a small, red stain on the pocket over his heart. Iruka nearly fainted. "Are...Are you stalking me?"

There would have been giggling in the background if this was a joke, but instead he heard something of a muffled scream.

"Oh, dear God, did you just..." He looked around, saw Naruto nowhere in sight. "Did you just spooge?" He used the term the kids were using these days.

"Mmmm hmmm." The other moaned. Iruka lost it; he hung up the phone quick and dived into his room, leaving the phone where it landed at the top of the stairs. The English teacher himself had found a way to crawl under his bed and curl up. No way in hell he was sleeping tonight.

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Shorter than the first chapter my apologies. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews and please don't forget to send us some this time. Reviews keep me writing and Monster, reluctantly, editing. Updates might not come for a little while, as I have to start writing to get into a magnet school now.