Hello everyone. I'm Monster and I will be hosting both of the latest chapters to the fanfictions as Redd is working to get into the school for the arts. I was so rudely tossed the notebook she writes her chapters in and told to update this time 'or else'. I hope you don't mind me typing it up this time and I hope you enjoy the newest chapters. Reviews? What do you mean I have to answer the reviews?
YaoiloverS(and for everyone else that posed this question): 'Spooge' is another term for ejaculation or cumming :blushes violently: Sasuke wrote a note? :re-reads second chapter: No, I don't believe he wrote a note at all. -' Oh? Well if you think that's what happened, don't tell anyone else! Shh! Yes, your stories must be marvelous, as Redd turned in another story that has your name on it. :Is shot for telling secrets:
KageOni1: Ah, well, thank you :takes credit: Your sister sounds like a girl on PMS for way too long? o-0 I would hide.
Hitomi No Ryu: We hope not to dissapoint.
insanechildfanfic: Thank you!
B.U.G.I.M.S: Your first question is answered in YaoiloverS' review comments. I have no idea where Redd yanks her ideas from. We will see who the phone stalker is soon (I hope) :Is in as much wait as everyone else here:
cinnamaroll: Thank you. We were scared no one would like this idea.
KageOni1: We all know Jiraiya is the bitch of the relationship. (Just kidding; I like the old pervert, personally. Don't hurt me.)
AznNarutoGrl-91: Yes, I feel bad for our blonde pranster. Your second review is answered in YoailoverS' review comments.
Iceheart19: I'd be scared it was an old man, too! You never know these days... Naruto's eyes are pretty, and they should be described as so! I can't answer questions asking the outcome of the story, but Iruka gets his revenge in this chapter. Jiraiya is such a pervert; it's a good thing we have Tsunade to keep him in line! Perversion? :checks third chapter script: Not too much perversion in this one.
Chibi-akuma-no-kage: Well, it updated on time this time. Enjoy.
Rulkai: Redd thanks you for your support, I'm sure. I bet she's sleeping right now... Can't tell you! Mwahahaha.
Baku: Thank you, but sooo many typing mistakes I hope she edits.
turtledonkey27: You shall see in time.
Isolde1: Thank you, we appreciate you taking time out to have a look at our work.
Tamara2187: You shall see like everyone else.
mini-kero: Aww, it's okay, the dolphin is hiding under the safety of his bed. I'm glad you like the story! :hugs:
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'Don't pick up' Chapter3 By closet-monsters
Two hours until school started. The steady purr of the car engine could be heard from outside the local electronics store; the passenger a lone blonde boy curled up in the passenger's side, asleep.
The electronics store was not to open for another hour, but the owner was inside. He was scared, too; his hard grip on the store broom signified that. A face was pressed against the window, distorted by the glass to squish up the cheeks and cause the breath to make white fog against the glass. The guy had his hands on the glass too.
The owner was an old man, so the children doing this to his windows always freaked him out, but now he was terrified because the owner of the face had to be that of a young man. The brown, blood-shot eyes were scarring him into believing that the guy was about to smash the window and take off with the display there.
Iruka didn't mind the stares from what he thought was the manager was giving him. All his attention was focused on the object the display window was offering. A new phone system; with caller ID that even offered the address of a house phone. The teacher all but drooled at it.
His paycheck was coming Friday, which was only two days away from him now. Friday he might have the money to get this wonderful machine God had graced the Earth with. Iruka rubbed his cheek against the glass at this thought.
"Iruka-aniki, can we go now? It's an hour till school starts." Came a sleep-slurred voice from the car. Naruto was just rubbing his eyes and stretching out his short, lanky form across his seat and Iruka's. "Besides, I think that old man is reaching for the phone."
Iruka's shoulders tensed, but he removed himself from the glass and slowly walked back to his green van and slid into the driver's seat.
"What were you looking at, anyway?" Naruto asked, now sitting up and following Iruka's example in buckling his seatbelt.
"Caller ID system," Iruka replied quite honestly. "I think we could use a little something up to date in the house."
"Caller ID? Why not get me an X-box instead? X-box is the future." The blonde whispered, wiggling his fingers at Iruka.
"Not working. We'll see how well behaved you are before Christmas, then we will talk about the 'wonders' of X-box." He replied with a snort, batting Naruto's fingers away and steering the van onto the road.
"But Christmas is almost a year away; my birthday would be closer!" The blonde whined.
"Is it, now?" Iruka smirked suggestively. "My point exactly."
Naruto pouted and crossed his arms at that, mumbling darkly under his breath. Iruka ignored him and pulled into the school parking lot.
-
Kakashi was late; again. He snuck into the teacher's lounge as quietly as a shadow on the wall and moved to go get his attendance card. He almost yelled when he saw it wasn't in its place.
The white haired man quietly tore the place apart until he found it in the 'In' box, the time stamped on it was thirty minutes before he had to be there. Someone had done it for him, but who?
Iruka took another sip of his coffee, watching his crush's antics to find his card with nothing short of amusement. The emotion he saw in Kakashi's one eye when he found it caused him to snort laughter, earning him some confused looks from his fellow teachers.
"That Iruka's nuts," Gai whispered to Kakashi as he adjusted the leg warmers around his skin-tight suit. "I think he might be gay."
"You think he is gay?" He snorted in reply. "I think that might be the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?"
Gai failed to grasp the reason why Kakashi, and a few fellow teachers passing by, laughed.
-
"Class, we have three new students from the private school in the neighboring county. I want you all to make them feel as welcome as you can." Iruka announced to the class. He studied the new students himself warily.
There was a white haired boy who reminded him suspiciously of a cat with purple make-up here and there. He vaguely wandered how the boy had survived private school classes. With the signal from Iruka, the boy stepped forward. "Kankurou Sabakuno," He grumbled his name.
The next in line was a blonde girl, hair pulled back into four separate ponytails with a pair of dark blue-green eyes staring beneath the golden strands. She was the only one out of the three that wasn't wearing make-up. "Temari Sabakuno," She introduced.
Next in line was a red-haired boy without eyebrows. No, Iruka corrected himself, the boy had eyebrows, they were just so fine they were barely visible. The boy had smeared black gunk around his pale jade eyes, giving him a menacing look to match his fishnet clothes. There was a tattoo on the far left corner of his head, kanji Iruka couldn't make out. Unlike his siblings, this one was quiet.
Iruka looked at him questioningly, but no sound came. So, he finally announced, "This is Gaara Sabakuno." There was whisperings about the class at that, only broken up when Iruka coughed.
"Kankuro, please go take a seat by..." He checked for empty seats, "By Sasuke, in the back. Sasuke, raise your hand. Temari, you have a seat right next to Shikamaru in front, and Gaara... Go sit in the far back next to Naruto."
The siblings broke up and walked to their assigned seats. Iruka smiled approvingly as Naruto began to greet the redhead, who was staring back at the blonde either murderously or thoughtfully. Iruka hoped it was the latter.
"Now, we will be having a group project for this semester's essay grade. Usually I have you right individual pieces, but now I would like to see how you work with teamwork. I will pair you up, of course, so no one is left out. Who I put you with, you're stuck with, no arguments or you fail this semester." He continued, glaring as the class groaned in chorus. "I will announce your partners once I put the new students in my role book."
He sighed, scribbling in the said notebook with his green pen, adding the siblings' names at the bottom. "Oh, Kiba, you can go ahead down to the principal's office once I announce your partner; he knows you're on your way."
Kiba grumbled, scratching at his desk idly. Upon it was a yellow sticky-note, taped right over what he'd scribbled in Sharpie in the wood of the desk. In neat, green pen, a note was written:
'Mr. Sarutobi requests the assistance of Mr. Inuzuka in graphite and cafeteria duty. Please keep your pen from wandering off of paper and onto my desks.'
It was signed 'The Prick'.
"Alright, the partners are Ino and Chouji, Temari and Shikamaru, Hinata and Kiba..." He looked up to Kiba expectantly; who-under his gaze- stood and exited the room. "Kankuro and Shino, Gaara and Neji..."
The words 'Sakura and Naruto' perched on his lips, but then he thought to himself more carefully. Who said teachers couldn't have any fun?
"Sakura and Lee," He said, jotting the change down into his notebook. The English teacher bit back a positively evil look, "Naruto and Sasuke." And then he continued on down his list, ignoring the death-glare from his blue-eyed, blonde prankster. Oh, he'd probably be in for it when he got home, but this would just be too fun.
Sasuke didn't seem bothered by it, but then again, he never showed it if he was bothered by something. He just sat there, with his obsidian gaze staring at the assigned work on the board he'd finished in the first fifteen minutes of class.
It looked like Naruto had finally managed to get Gaara to speak and was now having some form of conversation with the punk. Iruka briefly wondered how Naruto could translate the grunts and mutters of responses Gaara gave, passing out the assignment sheets for the project while doing so.
Class was let out for lunch.
-
The teacher's lounge was mostly quiet, a fact Iruka was relishing as he took a sip of his soda.
"So... How did that idea work?" Kakashi asked cautiously, now sitting silently across the brunette and beginning to stir a steaming cup of ramen. Iruka absolutely glared at the man.
"It didn't work at all." He growled quietly. "In fact he...he.." The English teacher coughed a bit before whispering just what his stalker had done. Kakashi's eye widened slightly.
"He had an orgy right in your ear?" The man said aloud, causing a passing Gai to shoot his energy drink out his nose; that's what he got for laughing while drinking it.
Iruka quickly grabbed his napkin and wiped his face with it, as well as effectively hiding his blush behind it.
"Honestly, do you have to be so loud?" He hissed, one brown eye peeking from behind the cloth and scolding the dark one across from it. Kakashi shrugged and drew out a little orange book.
"Kakashi, put that porn away!" Tsunade yelled, appearing out of almost nowhere and smacking the gym teacher in the back of his head. "Anything you read by Jiraiya will make your eyes fall out!"
"Is that a compliment?" Jiraiya asked, sidling up to her. The blonde shoved him away, glaring.
'What happened to the quiet?' Iruka asked himself, visibly pouting. 'Guess it was just the calm before the storm. What should I expect? My fellow teachers are either perverts, vengeful women, or thick-browed.'
The brunette sighed, falling asleep, forgetting about his lunch entirely. Tsunade would wake him up later, when it was time to return to classes.
-
Iruka was out from what Kakashi had done a few minutes ago, mind happily bouncing into some void of space. The teams were playing soccer, with the two gym teachers acting as team coaches as well as arguing referees.
Kakshi had bent over in front of the bleachers to tie his shoe, awarding the English teacher with a gratuitous eyeful.
"Iruka.." Whispered a voice in his mind. Iruka ignored it, only a gentle shaking to his arm waking him up.
"Iruka."
Said teacher turned to come face-to-face with his crush. He nearly fell back.
"Oh! Kakashi-sama, I must have fallen asleep." Iruka mumbled, trying to hide his blush.
"You sleep with your eyes open?" The coach's visible eye arched after that. "Class is almost over. You're always here during your free period, I've noticed."
Sure, he would have noticed sooner or later. In fact, he'd probably known it for a long time.
"Yes," Iruka agreed, "It's nice to see the kids have some fun; they never do in my class." He sighed.
"It's not hard to give out no homework." Kakashi commented, stretching his lanky form out.
"Well, I've put them on a project to free up the rest of my week, I guess." He mumbled, feeling his brown hair for any flaws in his ponytail.
"So you're not planning anything for the rest of the weekend?" Asked the ivory-haired teacher casually.
"Well, not really, no. I'll be stuck at home for the weekend with Naruto and Sasuke, since I have no excuse to use to escape."
"You need an excuse?"
"Yeah; I'm sure he'd want me to be there so he doesn't have to be alone with Sasuke. The two seem hostile towards each other." Iruka replied.
"Well, I have some errands to run Friday evening. If you need an excuse, you're welcome to come with me."
"Wh-what?"
"You can come with me, to get out of the house," Kakashi repeated, slower now as if he were speaking to a foreigner with bad English (pun). "I consider you as a friend. Besides, you saved me from getting in trouble twice."
"It was really not a problem to pick up your card and... Wait. How did you know I stamped your card? No one else noticed me stamping two."
"I didn't know for sure, but now I do." The gym teacher replied, smiling again. Iruka gave him a flat stare.
"Alright, I'll consider your offer." The dolphin said to the scarecrow, getting up.
"See you later." The other replied, now flipping through his small, orange book.
Once out of sight, Iruka ran into the bathroom and locked himself into a stall. Once there, he squealed like a schoolgirl who had just gotten a date.
And he had, hadn't he? Wasn't this a date? Thinking it over, Iruka frowned. No, this sounded like a friendly thing.
"Ano..." Came a voice from outside the stall. "This is the boy's bathroom, in case you didn't know, miss." The voice was familiar, and peeking through the crack in the bathroom door informed Iruka that they were blonde.
Oh gods, Naruto. The brunette quickly pulled his feet up, waiting until Naruto sounded like he had finished his business and left before sneaking back into the hallway. The bell rang, signalling he was late for class.
-
Naruto would not even look at him as they rode home, just glared straight ahead and slipped on a pair of headphones. Iruka knew what music that was by the vibration the sounds were letting off; it was hate music.
But nothing could get Iruka down! He had plans with the white-haired gym hotty for a whole afternoon! No way the blonde was going to pull him from his little cloud high in the sky.
The English teacher let out a dreamy sigh, hitting the gas when someone honked at him to go.
"The light's green, asshole!" Screamed the driver behind him. Iruka just grinned.
-
He was upstairs, folding up clothes when he heard the most horrible sound in the whole world.
The phone rang.
Crap.
It rang once...twice... then stopped.
'What?' Iruka thought to himself, then he heard Naruto calling him.
"Oy, Iruka! Someone asking for you on the phone!" The blonde mumbled, holding up the phone. Iruka breathed a sigh of relief, descending the stairs and taking the phone.
"This is Iruka." He said into the phone.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Came the voice. The brunette's earthy brown eyes widened. It wasn't just a voice; it was CREEPY STALKER VOICE!
"Eh... I have to go..." Iruka mumbled.
"No you don't," The voice replied, "You have nothing to grade, no plans."
"You're wrong, I do have plans, for Friday." The English teacher grumbled.
"For Friday. Today is Wednesday."
Iruka shuddered, hanging up. "Naruto, don't pick up the phone without asking the person who they are first, okay? And if they have a funny voice, just hang up..."
No use; Iruka's voice would not get through the hate-music blasting from Naruto's headphones.
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That's it. I hope I did all right typing all this up. It's late, I'm so sorry! If your review answer is not here, I am sorry for that as well.
