Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

GLIMPSES
Part Two

Kathryn rubbed her tired eyes and tried to clear her mind of clouds that were fogging her thoughts. She had been on the bridge for over five hours and she was really beginning to feel the strain. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and looked up. Chakotay was looking down at her.

"You need to take a break, Kathryn."

"I'm alright," she replied. "But if you could get me a snack, that would be great."

"You need a break," Chakotay insisted. "We're almost free of Borg space and haven't detected a single cube since we left the nebula. We can manage for a while without you. Go and get something to eat. I'm sure Silvia and Silvesta are starving."

Kathryn had to smile at that. "Alright. But I'll be straight back after I've eaten." She got up and put her hand on Chakotay's arm. "You make sure you get something to eat aswell and take regular breaks from the helm. You need to exercise your leg."

"Yes ma'am," he smiled.

Kathryn smiled softly and left the bridge.


When Kathryn reached her quarters, Petal bounced to greet her. Kathryn lifted her up and the animal licked her face. The poor creature must have wondered why she had been left alone so much of the day. Usually Icheb would take her for a walk on the holodeck in the afternoon or Naomi would take her to her quarters and play with her for a while. But today the ship had been at red alert for hours, so there had been no walkies or playtime.

"I'm sure you're hungry too, old girl," Kathryn said as she put Petal to the floor. "Let me get you some dinner."

Kathryn went over to the replicator and ordered a plate of dog food and a bowl of water. They materialized, and Petal was so hungry that she began to eat the food almost before Kathryn had put the plate on the floor. Kathryn watched her and felt guilty that she had completely forgotten about the poor dog. Chakotay clearly had too. "Sorry, old girl," Kathryn said, tickling her ear. "We just had a crisis today and it's been mayhem on the bridge. None of us have eaten. If it's any consolation, you're the first to get your meal."

She then patted the dog and returned to the replicator.

"One roast beef dinner."

Since marrying Chakotay, she had eaten a lot less meat. They always tried to have their meals together and as he was a vegetarian, they tended to have meat free meals. Now that she was pregnant, especially carrying twins, it was imperative that her diet contained all the right nutrients for both her and the babies, and the Doctor had devised a mainly vegetarian diet that would give her all the nutrients she needed. But when she was eating alone, she couldn't resist a roast beef or chicken dinner.

The dinner materialized and Kathryn took it over to the table. It was steaming hot so there was plenty of time to go to the bathroom and wash her hands before eating.

When she did finally sit down to eat, she was surprised at just how hungry she was. Before she knew it, she had cleared her plate.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

Kathryn hit her commbadge. "Go ahead."

"We're clear of Borg space."

That was a complete relief. "Understood. Janeway out."

As the connection terminated, red alert was finally canceled. Kathryn smiled at Petal. "I think this means I can have dessert too. What do you say?"

Petal wagged her tail and Kathryn laughed. She was not going to let another 10,000 light years and loss of contact with the Federation get her down. They had escaped the Borg and what would have been a certain fate of assimilation had they been detected. Setbacks were to be expected, and they had faced worse obstacles than 10,000 light years. The crew would be disappointed to lose contact with their families and she was disappointed that she wasn't going to get to speak with her mother and sister after all, or Chakotay with his sister, but they had managed very well all these years without Starfleet. They would manage again.

Kathryn got up and went over to the replicator.

"A coffee cake topped with coffee ice-cream."

The dessert materialized and Kathryn picked it up. She then went over to her couch and sat down, ready to savor it. Petal jumped on the couch beside her and curled up against her leg.

As Kathryn dipped her spoon into the ice cream, she heard the faint sound of laughter in the distance. She looked up and looked around the room. It was still, quiet. Kathryn shrugged, put it down to her imagination or someone passing through the corridor, and continued to eat her ice cream. As she did so, she heard the sound of laughter again. It was louder this time and was definitely the laughter of children. Petal could clearly hear it too as she began to growl.

"Chakotay to all. We are passing through a region of space that appears to be in temporal chaos. We have no choice but to continue through this space if we are to escape the Borg. We should be through the region in approximately thirty five minutes, but there may be temporary temporal disturbance in some parts of the ship as we travel through. You may experience or witness events from the past or events in the future. Just remember that should you witness the future, the temporal prime directive applies. I will inform you all when we are clear of the temporal chaos. Chakotay out."

Kathryn was about to contact Chakotay and ask why she hadn't been informed, when his voice greeted her.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

Kathryn tapped her commbadge. "Why didn't you inform me, Chakotay?"

"There wasn't time. I thought it best to warn the crew about possible temporal disturbance. Otherwise they may be alarmed."

"I understand. But is it absolutely necessary that we go through this temporal chaos? Can't we circumvent?"

"Not unless we want to return to Borg space. I'm taking the shortest possible route across the chaos."

Kathryn put down her dessert on the table and stood up. "I'll join you on the bridge."

"There's no need, Kathryn," he replied. "Everything's under control."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. You finish your meal. Chakotay out."

Kathryn sighed and turned to Petal who had settled down again. She picked up her dessert and sat once more on the couch to finish it. After she had eaten a few spoonfuls, she heard the sound of laughter again. She put down her dessert and could feel her heart beat in her chest, could hear it even, as she stood up and looked around the room. There was nothing to see. No one. Yet the happy laughter echoed around the room, growing stronger. Then her heart completely stopped when her eyes saw transparent colors move around the room ... blue ... white ... yellow ... The colors began to solidify but still remained transparent and Kathryn gasped when the colors formed the ghostly images of two children, a boy and a girl of about seven years old, running around the room. The little girl was chasing the little boy and they were both laughing heartedly. The little girl was dressed in a yellow dress and had long black hair that flowed over her shoulders like streams of ribbon. Her eyes seemed to be dark too and above her left temple was the marking of Chakotay's people. The little boy was taller by a fraction and was wearing blue shorts and a white T-shirt. His hair was short and he shared the same coloring and marking on his forehead.

Then they were gone.

Kathryn stood up, still dazed. She had just seen the future, and she had just seen her children. She put her hand to her abdomen as a way of connecting with the babies inside her and longed to see them again ... just another glimpse...

"Neelix to the Captain. You are required in the mess hall..."

She now had to be in the past ... somewhere in the past...

Petal began to growl again and more ghostly voices spoke.

"As much as I adore them," she heard Chakotay's voice say behind her, "I could sure do with a respite..."

Kathryn turned around and saw a ghostly Chakotay standing a little distance before her, dressed in casual clothes and holding an infant in each arm.

"I'll take them to the holodeck..."

The voice was familiar, but it took Kathryn a moment to place it. Celes.

Then the scene before her vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

Petal was still growling and Kathryn turned to face her. "It's alright, honey," she said, almost trying to reassure herself at the same time. "We're just going through some temporal disturbance. Everything will be alright."

But the animal would not be pacified and continued to growl.

"No," a little girl's voice cried, "I won't let you have her..."

Kathryn span in the direction of the voice and once again saw the ghosts of her children before her. They were fighting over a doll and both of them were tugging viciously.

"I only want to see... Please, Silvie..."

"No," she cried, "you'll break her like you did Izzy..."

"I won't...let me see her...Please let me see her..."

"No, Stevie...You're not having her...You're not..."

Then the lights suddenly dimmed and when they came back on, Kathryn found herself in a completely different room and Petal was gone. She looked around the room. It was familiar and yet unfamiliar. Then she realized it was her modified quarters. The living area was smaller and there were two doors before her leading to two extra bedrooms. She couldn't help smile as she looked around. Their quarters looked so homely and everything had its place, from the living area, to the dining area, to the kitchen area that conveniently occupied the spare space leading to the bathroom. There were a few more cupboards in the area than she would have imagined and, if she wasn't mistaken, what appeared to be a fridge. These things were obviously a necessity for a family lifestyle. At the moment, she and Chakotay, like almost everyone else on board, just recycled the food they didn't need rather than store it in a fridge.

Suddenly, the main door opened and Chakotay came in. Kathryn held her breath, hoping this was her Chakotay, not a future Chakotay, but from the casual clothes he was wearing already guessed she was hoping in vain. Sure enough, when he looked up at her, this was definitely an older Chakotay. His hair had grayed and his face had aged. He stopped still when he saw her, almost as though he had seen a ghost.

Kathryn swallowed and found she was trembling lightly, but felt she had to say something.

"The ship is experiencing temporal disturbance..."

Chakotay slowly bridged the gap between them and tears welled in his eyes as he gazed at her.

He slowly reached out and brushed his fingers against her cheek. "It's really you," he whispered. "Oh Kathryn..."

There was so much pain in his eyes, such longing...

Then the lights dimmed again and when they came on, she was back in her old quarters, Petal close by. Kathryn was trembling violently now. Chakotay had looked as though he had seen a ghost, and if he thought he had seen a ghost, that could only mean one thing...

Kathryn buried her head in her hands. No, she wouldn't think it. She couldn't second guess the future, not from just a glimpse ... She picked up Petal and held the animal close. As she did so, another ghostly sound filled the air ... It was the sound of weeping. Kathryn turned in the direction of the sound and gasped when she saw a ghost of Chakotay sitting in a chair before her. He was clutching what appeared to be an item of clothing tight to his chest and weeping with the agony of a broken heart.

"Kathryn would want you to be happy, Chakotay..."

B'Elanna's voice spoke as the image of Chakotay faded away before her. "She wouldn't want you to spend your whole life grieving."

Kathryn turned around again, trying to follow the voice, and then saw the ghosts of B'Elanna and Chakotay sitting together on a couch.

"I know," Chakotay answered. "I just ... I just loved her so much..."

"And you'll always have that love. But that doesn't mean you can't love someone else. Celes loves you. She loves the children. And you care for her, I know you do."

"Of course I do," he answered. "She's always been so good with Silvie and Stevie and a tower of strength to me. But I'm not ready to replace Kathryn. I never will be."

"No one will ever replace Kathryn. No one will ever replace her in your heart. But there's still plenty of love in your heart, Chakotay, and Kathryn would want you to share it."

"I can't," Chakotay said quietly. "After Celes and I kissed the other night, I felt ... I felt as though I'd betrayed Kathryn. Because even though she's dead, she's still alive in my heart. I'm still married to her in my heart."

B'Elanna took his hand in hers. "You have to let Kathryn go, Chakotay. You have to let go. For your sake and for the childrens. You have a chance of happiness with Celes and you have to take it. Just give her a chance, Chakotay, and give yourself a chance to fall in love again."

Then the voices and the images faded and all was still and quiet.

Kathryn tried to take in all she had seen and heard, tried to take in the terrible reality. In the future, she was dead...

"Chakotay to all. We're now clear of the temporal chaos and there are no anticipated problems in the space ahead. Once again, may I remind you that if you experienced temporal disturbance, the temporal prime directive applies. Chakotay out."

The words hardly registered with Kathryn. The words sounded far away, almost like someone speaking in a dream.

"Chakotay to Janeway..."

No response.

"Chakotay to Janeway..."

The words reached her now and Kathryn hit her commbadge. "Janeway here..."

"We're finally in safe space so there's no more cause for concern. There's just a couple of things I need to do before retiring."

"Alright," Kathryn said absently. "Janeway out."

Slowly, still dazed, Kathryn put Petal down and went to sit on the couch. A million thoughts were racing through her mind, all fighting with each other for dominance, all creating chaos. Kathryn got up again and replicated herself a mug of hot milk. Once it had materialized, she took it back over to the couch and sat down again. Her children had been alive so her death couldn't have been for a while yet ... Perhaps not for a long while ... She put her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. She didn't want to think about this ... Didn't need to think about this...

Suddenly the sound of crying interrupted her thoughts. Kathryn gasped, thinking for a split second that temporal disturbance was upon them again. But then the Doctor spoke.

"Tom and B'Elanna Paris would like to announce the arrival of Miral Paris at 20:08 hours weighing 9 pounds 4 ounces."

Kathryn couldn't help smile at that news. Miral. So B'Elanna and Tom had finally been able to agree on a name.

The doors to her quarters opened and Chakotay came in.

Kathryn stood up. "I thought you had things to do."

"I delegated them," he said. "I was worried about you. You didn't sound yourself."

"I'm alright," she said, trying to put on a front. "Did you just hear the announcement? Isn't it wonderful?"

Chakotay nodded. "It just goes to show that even the worst days have their golden moments."

He went over to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"We've suffered setbacks before, but we've always got through them. We will again."

She nodded. "It's just a disappointment...To think we were so close to home..."

She couldn't tell him that it was the future she had witnessed that was upsetting her. It would be a violation of the temporal prime directive, but more than that, it would be cruel.

"I know," Chakotay replied. "But there'll be another way home."

Kathryn nodded. "We're going to have to inform the crew. Word has probably got around about what was going on, even though I told the bridge crew to keep silent, but there are probably still a lot of people who don't know what was going on today or what our new circumstances are. We'll have to call a meeting in the mess hall and tell everyone."

Chakotay squeezed her shoulder. "I'll arrange the meeting. You finish that drink."

He made to leave but Kathryn caught his arm. "Make it for 21:30 hours. Everyone needs to have a good meal first and so do you. I bet you've hardly eaten anything all day."

Chakotay turned back to her and smiled. "21:30 hours it is." He hit his commbadge. "Chakotay to all. As you are all probably aware, today has been quite an eventful day. The Captain and I will explain everything to you all in the mess hall at 21:30 hours. I'm afraid the news we have to give you is not good, but neither does it merit alarm. We just came across an insurmountable obstacle on our plotted course and have had to drastically change course. As I say, the Captain and I will explain everything and answer any questions you may have at 21:30 hours in the mess hall."


The meeting was over quicker than Kathryn had expected it to be, and there had been very few questions from the crew. The news that 10,000 light years had been added to their journey was taken well, but the news that their new course would mean losing contact with the Federation once again, not so well. There had been no outbursts, but the bitter disappointment of the crew had hung in the air so densely that it was almost touchable. But as always the crew showed remarkable resilience too and just like Kathryn had done, grieved momentarily for their losses, and then thanked their lucky stars for deliverance from the Borg.

But what had happened during the temporal disturbance still haunted Kathryn. She lay still in Chakotay's arms in their bed and gazed vacantly into the darkness around them. The events of the day played on Chakotay's mind too. He had experienced nothing during the temporal chaos, but he was beginning to suspect that Kathryn had. She had been quiet all evening and he couldn't help feel there was more to it than the setbacks they had received.

He also found himself thinking about another Kathryn in a different time, the Kathryn his older-self had told him about who had traveled back in time to get Voyager home sooner. His older-self had said she had arrived in about a year's time, and that time was now upon them. Perhaps she had traveled back in time with technology that would get them passed the Borg so they could enter a wormhole and make it home sooner. Or perhaps the temporal disruption to the ship had played a part in aiding Kathryn to travel back in time to provide them with that technology. Perhaps she had been able to present herself to the crew in a different time by knowing when the ship would experience temporal chaos. But whatever way she had traveled back in time, it had to have been to get them passed the Borg. It was unlikely they would find another gateway home so soon, and his older-self had talked of an attack on the Federation by the Borg because of the way Voyager had got home. Perhaps there had been a confrontation, perhaps much damage to the Collective, damage for which they wanted to be revenged.

But regardless of how it had happened, and regardless of what exactly had happened, none of it had happened now. That future had long been erased from existence.

The future.

That still raised the question of what Kathryn might have seen there.

Chakotay kissed her hair and caressed her arm softly.

"The only time you ever gave up hope was when we were stuck in that void three years ago. The Kathryn Janeway I know and love doesn't give up hope easily. The Kathryn Janeway I know and love wouldn't let 10,000 light years and loss of contact with the Federation get her down. Something else is wrong." He paused. "When we entered the temporal chaos, you experienced something, didn't you? You experienced the future."

Kathryn finched slightly. He knew her so well. There was just nothing she could hide from him. She raised herself to look at him and forced herself to be strong, for his sake, and for their sake. If her time with him was limited, she wanted every moment to count. "I only saw a glimpse," she said quietly. "Not enough to form a picture." She smiled softly. "But I saw our children, Chakotay, and they were so beautiful."

A light shone in Chakotay's dull eyes. "You did?"

She nodded. "They were laughing and playing and were just like children should be."

She traced Chakotay's tattoo as she remembered the marking on their forehead. "And that's all I saw, Chakotay."

"I thought you might have seen something bad."

She shook her head. "All I saw was our children." She paused. "But everything that has happened today just goes to remind us how uncertain life is in this Quadrant. We make advances and then we're forced into retreat. Instead of being closer to home, we're further away and once more have lost all contact with the Federation. Nothing is certain and that's what frightens me, Chakotay. All we have is now."

Chakotay took her hand in his. "And now is all we can live for. We can't dwell on the past or live in fear of the future."

Kathryn squeezed his hand. "But if something does happen ... if something happens to me ... I don't want you to spend the rest of your life grieving. I want you to be happy ... to love again..."

Chakotay couldn't bear the thought of losing her, couldn't bear the thought of sharing his life with anyone else. But he knew how much it would mean to her to placate her because if anything happened to him, he didn't want her to spend the rest of her life alone and grieving either.

"Just as I want that for you, Kathryn," he said softly. "If something should happen to me."

Kathryn nodded and then nestled close to him again.


Kathryn gazed at Miral Paris as she lay contentedly in her mother's arms. She was wrapped in a white blanket and every now and then opened and closed her tiny hands.

"She's beautiful, B'Elanna," Kathryn smiled. "Truly beautiful." She then looked up at the proud parents. "And I'm glad you finally decided on a name."

B'Elanna laughed. ""Blame Tom. Everything I suggested was disagreeable to him."

"Excuse me, lady," Tom said teasingly. "I could say that of you."

They laughed softly and then B'Elanna looked up at Kathryn.

"Have you and Chakotay decided on names yet?"

Kathryn nodded. "Silvia Rennay and Silvesta Kolopak."

B'Elanna smiled. "Pretty." She then averted her eyes a moment and seemed distinctively uncomfortable. "Captain," she began, "there's something I want to talk to you about."

Kathryn knew that tone...something she wasn't going to like. "Go on."

B'Elanna hesitated. "I don't want to continue as Chief Engineer. I've been meaning to talk to you about it for a while, but it just never seemed the right time. And then when Joe died..." She paused. "I want to keep working, but only part time until Miral's a little older. I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize," Kathryn said kindly. "I understand."

"And don't worry about who to replace me, Captain. I've already spoken to Arlei and she's more than willing. She's proved to be a great engineer. The best I've known."

"She certainly is very capable."

"And trustworthy, Captain." She smiled. "And if you need any unorthodox Maquis methods...well, I'm still on hand."

Kathryn smiled at that and then turned to look once more at the baby. If she was B'Elanna, she would want to spend time with her baby too, not down in Engineering monitoring the warp core on a ship she had never chosen to be on.

"Don't worry about engineering," Kathryn said quietly. "You just concentrate on this little one. Before you know it she'll be grown and she won't be your little girl anymore."

"She'll always be our little girl," Tom said. "Even when she's fifty and we're senior citizens."

Kathryn smiled but a sadness consumed as she looked at Tom and B'Elanna gaze at their daughter. If the future she had seen was true, she would never live to see her own children grow up. And the thought of that filled her heart with a terrible ache.

"Well I...I'm sure you're tired, B'Elanna," Kathryn said quietly. "I'll come back and see you tomorrow."

B'Elanna smiled. "I'll look forward to it, Captain."

Kathryn forced a smile. "Good day, B'Elanna, Tom."

"Good day, Captain," they replied.

Kathryn watched them gaze at their baby for a moment longer and then left the room.


A midday sun was shining and streamed in through small windowpanes in a familiar fifteenth century workshop. It had been a long time since Kathryn had run this holo-simulation. It had been a long time since she had felt the need. But she needed to talk to someone about what had happened during the temporal disturbance and she could trust the wisdom of no one more than her former friend and mentor.

Leonardo Da Vinci suddenly appeared from behind a large wooden screen and smiled happily when he saw who was present.

"Catarina," he smiled, going over to her. "It's most pleasant to see you again. I have waited for you to come since I returned."

Kathryn smiled softly. "It's so good to see you too, Maestro."

Leonardo smiled as he saw Kathryn's bump. "And I see you are a little heavier than last we met. Fortune has been in thy favor."

Kathryn nodded, but tears brimmed her eyes.

Leonardo saw her pain and went over to her. He put his arm around her shoulder. "Or perhaps not in thy favor." He gestured to a chair. "Come sit, tell me your troubles."

Kathryn made her way to a chair and Leonardo sat opposite her, talking as he did so.

"You were ever a spirit of rebellion ... a heart of passion ... and a brain of defiant wisdom ... Such can lead men to the heights of glory, but also to the pits of despair. Have you found yourself weightier with child but without a husband to share the load?"

Kathryn had to smile. "No, Maestro. I have a husband. A wonderful husband."

"Then what grieves you, Catarina?"

Kathryn was a moment in speaking. "Last night I ... I had a vision."

The old man's eyes shone brightly. "A vision from the Lord? A divine inspiration?"

Kathryn shook her head. "No, it wasn't that kind of vision. It was ... I saw the future."

Leonardo put his finger to his beard. "Ah ... You saw the time that is to follow ... A glimpse of the fate of mankind ... perhaps your own." He looked up at her. "And from your disposition, would I be correct in assuming that what you saw was not to your pleasure?"

Kathryn nodded and her voice fell to a whisper. "I was not a part of the future."

Leonardo understood her meaning and rubbed his beard in deep thought. Then he got up and went over to a desk behind him. He opened a draw and searched for a while. Then he muttered as he found what he was looking for. "Here we are."

He held a small black box in his hand, a box only a little larger than a set of playing cards, and made his way back to the chair. He sat down and opened the box with his skillful fingers. Inside, beneath a sheet of poor quality glass that was sealed over the box, were different shades of sand.

"You see this, Catarina," he said, lowering the box so she could see the contents, "you see the sand ... imagine each grain is a moment of the ages of man ... imagine each grain is a moment of time of a single man ... imagine each one represents a moment of your existence. You see the way the sands form a pattern beneath the glass ... the concentration of dark here and light there ... The course of time is defined for all to see. But if I shake the box..." He shook the box. "The pattern changes... The course of time has changed ... And no shake of the box will ever create the same pattern." He paused. "And that is how it is with time. Time is ever flowing, ever changing. The future you see is this box." He shook the box again. "But the future you may experience is this." The pattern had changed.

Kathryn looked up at him. "So, what you're saying is that the future I saw isn't necessarily the future that will happen?"

"Precisely," he answered.

"But my understanding of temporal mechanics is that the future can only be changed if you know the variable to change. I don't know when I am to die."

Leonardo took her hand in his. "My dear Catarina. In that respect you are no different to any man, woman, or child now alive. Death is the greatest mystery of all and none so mysterious as the time or the place it will occur." He let go of her hand. "Visions have served men in many ways since the dawn of mankind. Sometimes they are not what they appear to be. Take from this experience all that you can learn, and then cast the memory free into the wind to trouble you no more. Knowledge of another time shifts the sand. And the pattern it creates will be different."

Kathryn smiled as a relief transcended her and brought with it peace. "Thank you, Maestro."


The mess hall was almost deserted when Kathryn arrived there later in the afternoon. A young ensign was serving coffee and tea and slices of two delicious sponge cakes that Seven had made. Kathryn went over to the counter and the young man addressed her.

"Anything I can get you, Captain?"

"Just a glass of water and a slice of cake," Kathryn smiled.

The man nodded and went to replicate her a glass of water and fetch her a slice of cake. As he did so, Kathryn looked around the room again. She saw Harry sitting alone in a far corner. He was staring into his cup and seemed distinctively troubled.

"A glass of water and a cake, Captain."

Kathryn turned back to the young man and smiled. "Thank you."

She then picked up her drink and her plate and made her way over to Harry.

"Mind if I join you?"

Harry looked up. "Take a seat, Captain."

His eyes then fell to his cup again and he continued to gaze vacantly into it. Kathryn put her glass and plate down and then sat down opposite him. She reached for Harry's hand and squeezed it gently. "What's wrong, Harry?"

"Nothing, Captain."

"I know you better than that," Kathryn said gently. "Something's troubling you."

Harry withdrew his hand. "I'm fine, really."

Kathryn bit her lip as a thought occurred to her. Most people seemed not to have experienced anything during the temporal disturbance, and those who had, seemed to have experienced the past, but she couldn't have been the only one to experience the future.

"Is it something to do with the temporal disturbance we experienced last night?"

Harry flinched and was a long time in answering. "You know we can't talk about that."

"Then it was," Kathryn said sadly. She then reached for Harry's hand again. "I know we are not supposed to talk about the future, but if distresses you this much, I think we should."

Harry looked up at her, infinite pain in his eyes. "Arlei was dead."

"I see," Kathryn whispered, a cold shiver suddenly engulfing her.

"I don't know how or when...but I know she was dead."

Kathryn squeezed Harry's hand both as a comfort and a reassurance. "The future has yet to be written, Harry. What you saw was the future as it existed yesterday. Today that future may be very different." She thought of the sand Leonardo Da Vinci had shown her and his words of wisdom. "Think of a sandy beach. When the tide goes out, the sand is left bare with shells scattered here and there. There may even be sand castles or footprints. But when the tide comes in, it washes away all traces of what was there before, and when it goes out again, a new shore is formed, different to any other that has ever existed and different to any that will exist again. Time is like those sands, ever changing."

Hope filled Harry's heavy heart. "Then you don't think the future I saw will happen?"

"No," Kathryn said softly. "I believe the future will be very different, very different indeed."

Harry smiled and Kathryn squeezed his hand again before letting it go.


Alone in her quarters, apart from Petal, Kathryn lay down on her couch and put her feet up. She was exhausted and her back was aching. Petal curled up on the floor below her and soon went to sleep. Kathryn was just about to drift off to sleep herself when the doors opened and Chakotay came in. Petal looked up and wagged her tail.

Chakotay smiled at the sight of his wife lying on the couch. He was glad she was getting some rest.

Kathryn sat up a little when she was aware of his presence.

"No," Chakotay said. "Don't move on my account. You continue to rest."

"I'm alright," Kathryn replied.

"Did you manage to get your exam?"

Kathryn nodded. The Doctor had insisted on examining her as soon as she had arrived at sickbay to visit B'Elanna and Tom. "All is well."

Chakotay smiled and went over to the replicator and replicated a glass of water. "Anything I can get you?"

"No," Kathryn smiled. "But a cuddle would be good."

Chakotay smiled, drank up his water, and then went over to her. He sat beside her and drew her into his arms. Kathryn nestled against him and he kissed her hair.

"How has your day been?"

"Better than I expected," she answered. "The crew are remarkably resilient."

"They certainly are."

"And I think Miral's birth yesterday helped considerably in softening the blows." She smiled. "She's so adorable, Chakotay. It's a good thing I'm pregnant already because otherwise I just might have gotten broody."

Chakotay laughed softly. "I went to see her too. I think she will definitely have her mother's temperament as she was certainly making her presence known and exercising her lungs when I arrived." He then fell serious. "B'Elanna told me she's told you of her decision to resign as Chief Engineer."

Kathryn nodded and drew slightly away from her husband. "I have to say I wasn't expecting it. I thought she and Tom were going to work opposite shifts or overlapping shifts so that there would only be a few hours in the day that Miral needed to be taken care of by someone else." She paused. "But I can certainly understand her decision. She owes Starfleet and this crew nothing, but owes her child everything."

"And I think Arlei played a large part in her decision too," he added. "She's a very capable engineer, much better than any of us ever expected. I think B'Elanna felt somewhat intimidated by her capabilities. She's always believed a job should be given to the most capable person." He paused. "I've been thinking a lot about what we're going to do when Silvia and Silvesta are born, and I was thinking that the only real practical thing for us to do would be for me to resign as First Officer and look after them all day while you work."

"There'll be no need for that," Kathryn answered, glad that Celes had offered to be their nanny because she couldn't bear the thought of captaining Voyager without Chakotay as her First Officer. "I've been meaning to tell you. Celes has offered to be our nanny."

Chakotay's surprise showed in his eyes. "She has?"

Kathryn nodded. "She came to see me yesterday morning. I wasn't sure at first, but she's clearly unhappy in her present position, so I agreed. It will make her happy and it solves all our problems. You and I can continue working our regular shifts and the rest of the day we can spend as a family. On quiet days I can even take a few hours off to spend with the children, I've certainly tolled up enough over the years."

Chakotay smiled. "You certainly have."

Kathryn lowered her eyes and was a moment with the next words. "I want to be a good mother, Chakotay. I'm just so scared that I won't be because of my obligations to the crew. I don't want the children growing up resenting me because they believed being captain was more important to me than them."

"You're going to be a wonderful mother," Chakotay answered. "Our children aren't going to want for anything, and certainly not for their mother's love, attention or affection, because I know all those things you'll give in abundance. They're going to think they're the luckiest children in the universe to have you as their mother."

Kathryn looked up at him and smiled warmly. "And you as their father."

Chakotay smiled in return and then took her hand in his. "It's been an exhausting couple of days, my love. You go and have a lie down while I make dinner."

Kathryn nodded. "I just might do that."

She kissed his cheek softly and then got to her feet. As she did so, she remembered that she, Chakotay, and Celes were meant to be going to Seven's quarters for dinner.

"On second thoughts, forget dinner," Kathryn said, turning back to Chakotay. "I've just remembered that you, Celes, and I, are meant to be dining at Seven's quarters tonight. With all that's happened, I clean forgot. I haven't even mentioned it to Celes."

"Perhaps Seven has forgotten too."

"I very much doubt it. And we can't disappoint her. This is her first dinner party." She hit her commbadge. "Janeway to Celes."

A surprised Celes responded. "Celes here, Captain."

"How would you like to join Commander Chakotay and I for dinner tonight in Seven's quarters?"

Celes was a moment in answering. "I ... I would love to Captain."

"Alright then. See you there at 19:30 hours. Janeway out." Kathryn turned to Chakotay. "As Celes will be spending so much time with our children, I thought it's important that we get to know her better. It will make it easier for her and for us."

Chakotay nodded. "I agree, although it's surprising, isn't it, how many people on this ship we still really don't know, despite having been with them for seven years?"

"Yes," Kathryn answered. "I wish I knew every single person as well as I do B'Elanna or Tom or Harry, but the reality of the situation is that we tend to only know well those people we're with every day."

Chakotay got to his feet and lay his hands on Kathryn's shoulders. "Are you sure you're up to this dinner? I really think you could do with some rest."

"I'll be fine," Kathryn smiled. "And I'm sure Silvie and Stevie will appreciate the feast Seven will surely have prepared for us."

Chakotay's eyes twinkled. "Silvie and Stevie?"

"Their names for short..."

"I see," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn drew away from him. "Come on, we'd better get ready for dinner. We don't want to be late. I'm sure Seven counts the minutes."

Chakotay laughed and then followed her into the bedroom.

END OF PART TWO