Mary-Sue the Magnificent
Chapter Three: The Mirror of Galadriel
"Oh, dear! I've done it again!" Mary-Sue cried in dismay.
The other Elves of Lothlorien were trying to revive Haldir, and one succeeded in doing it by smacking him. Hard.
"Wha !" he asked, sitting up abruptly.
"Put these on!" Mary-Sue cried, holding out a bunch of pairs of sunglasses.
Haldir and the other Lothlorien Elves obliged.
"I do that all the time!" Mary-Sue cried, acting very angsty. After all, she had to keep up her image.
"Okay, since one of you almost blinded me and another has me wearing one of these stupid clothespins on my nose, I'm gonna have to blindfold you all," Haldir said (very nasally).
"I wonder who the second could be," Aragorn whispered, leaning toward Legolas.
"Indeed," Legolas replied, glaring at him.
Aragorn didn't catch the sarcasm.
That night, they were taken to meet the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn (after seven full-grown male Elves wrestled Aragorn to the ground and washed his hair). Just as Galadriel walked in, Mary-Sue ran up to the Lord and Lady with sunglasses, a hand over her eyes.
"Put these on if you value your lives!" she said.
Galadriel gave her a funny look. "Why?"
"Because I suffer from rapid-eye-color-change-itis, which means my eyes change color at unexpected and random moments, and I'll blind you if you don't wear them!"
Galadriel and Celeborn put on the sunglasses.
Mary-Sue stepped back and realized that every person around her was wearing a pair of shades.
"I wish I'd just die!" she screamed. "The world would be a much better place!"
I agree, came a quiet, eerie voice in her head.
Who's there?, demanded Mary-Sue, also in her head. Her own head.
I'm Galadriel, you dimwit, said the voice.
Mary-Sue sniffed telepathically. You're going to make me cry. Have you ever seen me cry?
No. Why?
Mary-Sue didn't answer.
Why don't I want to see Mary-Sue cry? Galadriel asked Aragorn, also telepathically.
Galadriel? Is that you? That's kind of funny, 'cuz if I ever told anybody that there were voices in my head, they'd think I'm crazy! Hee hee! My little head! Crazy? Yeah, right!
Galadriel rolled her eyes. Yes, you surely have a little head.
Thank you!Galadriel then moved on to Frodo. So, you are Frodo Baggins. One who has seen the Eye!
"Who said that?" Frodo asked, out loud.
"Said what, Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked.
It was ME! Galadriel said in a high-pitched voice. These people were stupid, but they were fun to torment.
"That!" Frodo cried.
"What?" Sam asked.
This!
"Argh! I know it's you, Sam!" Frodo then proceeded to tackle Sam to the ground.
Yes, this was going to be very entertaining, Galadriel mused.
Later, Boromir sat apart from the others, crying. Aragorn came up to him and stood beside him for a moment, then asked, "What is wrong?"
Boromir looked up at Aragorn. Finally, he said, "She told me that the White City would fall into a state of stink!" He continued to blubber.
"That's terrible!" Aragorn cried. "Why?"
Boromir looked up at him again, this time incredulous. "Why do you think? You'll be ruling it!"
"Oh," Aragorn said. Then, he shrugged and walked off, whistling.
Frodo, meanwhile, couldn't sleep. He still thought it had been Sam who'd spoken during the meeting with the leaders of Lothlorien. So he was very startled when he heard someone say, Frodo!
That was it. He got up and stomped to edge of their tent.
"Who's there?" he demanded.
All of a sudden, the Lady Galadriel appeared in the clearing, carrying a pitcher of water with her. She didn't say anything, but winked. Frodo put the pieces together as she yelled (telepathically, of course) Get over here, ya stupid Halfling!
Frodo didn't need to be told twice. He and Sam ran out of the tent and hurried over to her side. She stood by a stone pedestal, and on the pedestal was a bowl.
"You want us to watch you pour water?" Frodo asked skeptically.
"Of course not, you birdbrain!" Galadriel cried, smacking Frodo on the back of the head.
"Ow! I didn't think you were, anyway!" Frodo whined, rubbing the spot.
"Don't hit Mr. Frodo, you mean old Elf woman!" Sam shouted.
Galadriel got huffy. "Fine! You want to be like that!" She grabbed Sam by the ear and forced him to look into the bowl (which was still empty).
"Uuuhhh…What are you doing?" Sam asked, bewildered.
"Oh, right!" Galadriel said. She pulled Sam back, but refused to release his ear as she poured water into the bowl.
Two minutes later, Sam was sitting on the grass beside the pedestal, crying and saying that he wanted to go home.
Galadriel humphed. "That's what you get." She turned to Frodo. "Okay, Ringbearer, get over there and look in the bowl. I don't have all night, you know."
Frodo was just about to peer into the Mirror of Galadriel when Mary-Sue rushed up next to him and pushed him aside. Frodo fell to the ground and sat there, speechless.
Galadriel stared for a minute, then seemed to regain her senses. "Okay, then. Mary-Sue will look in the Mirror."
Mary-Sue did, and as the Eye of Sauron appeared in the water, she swooned and fell into a very feminine and dramatic faint.
"Good riddance," Galadriel muttered. She whirled on Frodo and said, "Give me the Ring! If you do, I'll become an evil queen and take over! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Then, she was all right again, and said, "Sorry. I don't know what came over me, but you and Sam had better get out of here before I do it again."
For the second time that night, Frodo blindly ran off into the darkness.
And slammed into a tree.
A/N: So sorry for the long delay, but I didn't have any ideas. I do now, though!
Many thanks to: Alania, Here comes the hockey puck, swee-haret179, Mashimaro-San, anticipationnation, Malara, Master Akane, annoying talking animal, and Tazz.
Once more, I must ask: PLEASE. DON'T. CURSE. IN. YOUR. REVIEWS. It will be much appreciated. Thank you!
