Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

SHORELEAVE

Kathryn stood in the middle of her living room and looked around at the completed modifications to the quarters. Apart from a difference in layout of furniture, the quarters looked exactly as she had seen in the future. There were two doors leading to two bedrooms, and at the opposite side of the room, where once an open archway had led to her bedroom, was a small kitchen area and open access to the bathroom. She tried the new door that led to their now enclosed bedroom, and was happy to find it was in perfect working order. She stepped into the room and looked around. It was a lot smaller, and there wasn't much space, but it would be perfect for a child one day, as a single bed would take up a lot less space than the double bed she and Chakotay currently shared.

As Kathryn left the bedroom, the now only doors leading to the quarters opened, and Chakotay came in.

Kathryn smiled at him. "All modifications are complete."

Chakotay looked around and she could tell that he was pleased at what he saw. "Even better than I imagined," he smiled.

He wandered over to the door leading into what would be the nursery and opened it. He then disappeared inside and Kathryn followed him, having not yet seen the room for herself.

"Perfect," Chakotay smiled. "Just perfect."

Kathryn thought it looked a little bigger than their own modified bedroom, but wasn't sure that was the case or whether it's emptiness just gave the illusion of being so.

"I think there's enough room to put in a lavatory," Chakotay said, wandering over to an inner corner of the room. "That will save Silvie or Stevie having to cross the living room to go to the bathroom when they're older. Maybe we could have access to it from what will be our room too."

"Good idea," Kathryn smiled.

He then turned to his wife, a slight look of concern on his face. "It just occurred to me," he said quietly, "how will we decide which child is to eventually have this room and which our room? Our room is on its own. The child put there could feel rather excluded, less loved."

"I never thought of that," Kathryn said, considering. "I suppose all we can do is give the room to the more independent child. Or we can ask them both which of the two rooms they would like." She smiled. "They might even think that being in our room makes them more grown up, and therefore both want it. If so, a flip of the coin might have to decide it for us."

Chakotay smiled and Kathryn was just about to bridge the distance between them and wrap her arms around his neck, when she felt a fluttering sensation inside. She gasped and put her hand to her abdomen.

Chakotay anxiously closed the gap between them. "What is it?"

Kathryn looked up at him, her eyes shining. "I felt a movement," she said happily. "Just a flutter."

Joy shone in Chakotay's eyes and he put his hand to her abdomen, his fingers touching hers. "Oh, Kathryn..."

There was another flutter and Kathryn placed her other hand over his. "There it was again..."

She looked up at Chakotay and smiled. "They must have heard us and are already fighting over the rooms."


Petal, who had spent the afternoon with Naomi, looked around her altered territory in bewilderment when she arrived home. She wandered around the room, sniffing disdainfully at the new corners, and taking in everything that was new. Kathryn watched her in amusement from the couch as Chakotay finished preparing their meal.

"You'll soon get used to it, old girl," she smiled.

When the dog had finished surveying her new surroundings, she wandered over to her mistress and lay in a sulk at her feet. A smaller room was not good at all.

"Someone's not happy," Chakotay said, looking at the dog as he put down a bottle of non-alcoholic wine on the table.

Kathryn looked up at him and smiled. "Just wait until she sees the bedroom." She then lay back against the couch with a sigh. "What we need, Chakotay, is a holiday. Petal's not the only one on board with low morale at the moment. I'd say crew morale is at an all time low. A good dose of shoreleave might raise their spirits." She paused. "This region has a lot of m-class planets, how about we pull out anchor and disembark at the next uninhabited one?"

Chakotay smiled. "Sounds good to me."


The nearest uninhabited m-class planet was only 20 hours away, and by the following evening, the crew were all happily settled on the planet. Tuvok, and several other Vulcans, had volunteered to stay onboard Voyager to safeguard the ship in the event of the unexpected, and to perform routine maintenance. The planet was very much like Earth, consisting of mountains and oceans and deserts, and offered a variety of climates. Some crew members had decided to take a skiing holiday in the mountains, others had decided to take a beach vacation on hot golden shores, while others had decided on a tropical holiday in wonderfully unspoiled rainforests.

Kathryn and Chakotay wanted something in-between extreme heat and extreme cold, and had decided to make their camp next to a lake at the foot of several mountains. The planet contained a myriad of wildlife, and as Chakotay finished erecting the shelter, Kathryn sat on a rock at the water's edge and watched as alien birds flew overhead, their magnificent wings glittering purple in the sunlight. Naomi had asked if she could look after Petal for a few days and, thinking it would be an adventure for the pair, Kathryn had agreed to it. A soft breeze blew and Kathryn inhaled deeply, perfectly content. The planet was truly a paradise and reminded her so much of New Earth.

At last, the shelter was ready. As Kathryn wandered inside, memories of New Earth once again abounded. The only thing different was the sleeping area. Instead of two single beds separated by a petition, there was one large double bed.

"Gives you a feeling of de ja vu, doesn't it?" Chakotay said, the shelter evidently evoking the same memories for him.

"It certainly does," she smiled.

"All we need now is a monkey."

Kathryn had to laugh at that. "Well, then, perhaps you'd better go into the woods and see if you can find us one."

Chakotay slipped his arms around her from behind and kissed her cheek. "Not a chance of that. This time I want you all to myself."

Kathryn laughed and leant back against him. "I never knew you were so jealous of the monkey."

"I couldn't help it," he smiled. "You spent more time with him than you did with me."

"I suppose it must have seemed that way," she said, breaking away from him so she could look at him. "I was just uncomfortable, you know, about our situation." She lowered her eyes and lowered her voice at the same time. "Even a little scared. You're such a strong man and we were out there completely alone, thinking we would never leave the planet or see another human being again. You could have done anything to me, thinking you would never have to answer for it."

Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder. "I guessed," he said kindly. "I could tell you were uncomfortable around me, especially at night. That's why I told you how I felt about you. I didn't want you to be uncomfortable, didn't want you to be afraid. I wanted you to know that you were safe, that I would never do anything to hurt you."

Kathryn looked up at him now and brushed her fingers against his cheek. "And it was beautiful, what you said. So many lonely nights afterwards I listened to that legend in my mind and imagined I was back on New Earth with you."

Chakotay took her hand in his, remembering the moment, and remembering the words a different Kathryn, in a different time, had written in her farewell letter to his older self.

"I love you," he whispered, "just incase I haven't told you lately."

Kathryn squeezed his hand and then slipped her arms around his neck. "I love you too, just incase I haven't told you."

Chakotay smiled softly and then slowly, gently, lowered his lips to hers in a tender kiss.


That night, many members of the crew had gathered together at a campfire, and Kathryn and Chakotay had decided to join them. Kathryn was curious to see how the crew were enjoying themselves and was pleased to find that everyone so far was having a good time. Tom and Harry were busy cooking baked potatoes on the fire, while Arlei was serving everyone drinks. Naomi was sitting next to B'Elanna, gazing adoringly at the baby in her arms, while Samantha had the unenviable task of keeping Petal under control. When the animal saw Kathryn, she barked and began to wag her tail incessantly. Samantha unfastened the leash and the dog ran over to her mistress. Kathryn lifted her up and the creature licked her faced as though she hadn't seen her for weeks.

When everyone had finished eating, Naomi asked Chakotay if he would sing for them all, and not wanting to disappoint her, Chakotay agreed. Naomi sang with him and the harmony of their voices filled the cool air with a sweetness that warmed the hearts of everyone listening.

The only person Kathryn saw who did not seem to be enjoying himself was the Doctor. When everyone began to disband and fall into groups of chatter, Kathryn made her way over to him. He was sitting on a bench alone, his eyes firmly fixed on the ground beneath him.

Kathryn sat beside him. "Everything alright, Doctor?"

"What do my feelings matter, Captain," he said sadly. "I'm just a hologram."

"You know you're so much more than that," Kathryn replied.

"No I'm not," he said quietly. "I'm just mutton dressed as lamb. Pygmalion." Holographic tears welled in his eyes. "You made me more than what I was meant to be and now have confined me to an existence that is a void between two worlds. I'm more than a hologram, but not quite a human."

"You're unique," Kathryn said. "As is everyone. What makes you feel this way about yourself? Has something happened?"

"I'm merely trying to accept my limitations," he answered.

"What limitations?"

"My social limitations," he explained, "my romantic limitations..."

"I see," she said, everything suddenly making sense. "That's the problem. You have unrequited romantic feelings. Am I right?"

The Doctor hesitated, but then nodded.

"And you think the lady in question isn't interested because you're a hologram?"

He nodded again.

"Is that what she told you?"

"Not in words," he replied.

"Then why assume it?"

"Because it's the truth. My holographic limitations mean I can never be a desirable partner. I can never father a child and I can never so much as share a meal with a lady anywhere other than the holodeck. No humanoid woman will ever want me."

"You don't know that, Doctor. Danara Pel liked you, did she not?"

"She was ... she was special."

"And there will be another special lady in time."

He shook his head. "There never will be. And I don't want to live in this void. I want my personality subroutines deleted. I want to return to what I was when I was first activated."

Kathryn put her hand on his shoulder. "You can't keep using that as a way of escaping your problems, Doctor. We've all had feelings for someone who doesn't have feelings for us in return. It's a part of life."

"I can't believe that, Captain. I can't imagine Ayala has ever been rejected by any woman." There was an unmistakable bitterness in his tone.

"Everyone does, Doctor. Why Ayala more than anyone else?"

"Because of the way he looks. I'm sure Chakotay never had any problems attracting the ladies either."

"Looks only make up a small part of who we are, Doctor. What's more important is what we are inside. Sometimes good looks can even be more of a hindrance than a help in forming relationships. People can be attracted for all the wrong reasons. And Ayala doesn't have a partner. Neither did Chakotay have a serious relationship before me."

"Well, Ayala will soon," the Doctor answered. "Seven's in love with him."

"Seven?" Then it all suddenly clicked in place. "Oh, Doctor," she said. "You're in love with Seven." Why hadn't she realized it before? All the signs were right under her nose.

The Doctor looked up at her, shame on his face. "No, I..."

"It's alright, Doctor," she said kindly. "I won't tell anyone. This is strictly between you and me." She looked at the Doctor sadly. "How long have you been feeling this way?"

"A long time. Too long." He paused. "I told her last week that I loved her, thinking it was the right time, but she looked at me as though I'd told her she'd just sprung two heads. She couldn't get away from me fast enough."

"She was probably just uncomfortable, Doctor."

He looked up at her now, infinite pain in his eyes. "I love her so much, Captain. And if I ever doubted I had a heart, I know now that I have one as it hurts in here." He put his hand to his chest. "A greater pain than I have ever known."

Kathryn reached for his hand and took it in hers. "I'm sorry, Doctor. And I'm sorry I've been so blind to your feelings. I had no idea that you felt for her anything more than friendship."

"Neither did she," he said, breaking away from her. "And now I've lost even her friendship as she wants nothing to do with me."

"Like I said, she's probably just uncomfortable. Give her time." She paused. "And are you sure Seven has feelings for Ayala? I didn't even know they were friends."

"They haven't been until recently," the Doctor explained. "He was admiring a cake she had made in the mess hall and Seven invited him to dinner, along with Harry Kim and Arlei. Apparently they got on well and I've seen them together several times since. They've even spent most of the evening in each others company."

"That doesn't mean she's in love with him, Doctor," Kathryn said gently.

"I've seen the way she looks at him," he answered, "and I've seen the way she responds to his presence. Her pupils dilate and her breathing accelerates." He paused. "Let me revert to what I was, Captain. It isn't fair to ask a blackbird to be an eagle."

"And it isn't fair to ask a blackbird to be a snail. We all are what we are, Doctor. We can't change that. I will never be as beautiful as Seven, and I'll never be as emotionally disciplined as Tuvok. We are who we are, and there's no point wishing we were someone different. The love in our lives that matters, the love that is real, is the love that accepts us for who we are. Yes, Chakotay is a very attractive man. But that's not why I love him. I love him for who he is, just like he loves me for who I am. And one day, Doctor, someone will love you for who you are." She paused. "And Seven does love you. Never doubt that. She loves you as a friend and as a mentor. She values your opinion and she respects you. And that kind of love is very special in itself. Don't diminish its value."

The Doctor nodded. "I know I should be grateful," he said. "It just... It just doesn't seem enough..."

"I understand," Kathryn replied.

"And my quarters are wasted on me," he said sadly. "I'm hardly ever there. I spend almost all day and all night in sickbay. And when I do go to my quarters there's so little to do that I deactivate myself. I think someone else should have my quarters. Someone with real biological needs."

"You're just feeling vulnerable and low right now, Doctor. Let's discuss this in a few weeks time and see how you feel then. Agreed?

The Doctor nodded reluctantly and then looked up at Chakotay who was approaching them.

"You were in fine voice tonight, Commander," he said, trying to sound as natural as possible.

Chakotay smiled. "The country air is doing me good."

Kathryn held out her hand to her husband, a gesture for him to help her to her feet, and he immediately obliged.

"You'll have to sing for us on Thursday, Doctor," Chakotay added.

"Perhaps," the Doctor replied, also getting to his feet. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Captain, Commander, I have work to attend to."

"Now, Doctor?" Chakotay questioned.

"A Doctor is always in demand," he said, forcing a smile. "Goodnight, Captain, Commander."

The Doctor left them and Chakotay turned to Kathryn. "Is he alright? He doesn't seem himself."

"He just has some things on his mind," Kathryn said softly. "I'm sure he'll be fine." As she spoke, she saw Ayala talking with Seven in the distance and bit her lip in concern. They did seem very friendly and Seven was standing precariously close to him.

Chakotay put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "I think everyone is retiring for the night. We should be heading back too. It's been a long day."

Kathryn turned her gaze from Seven and Ayala to Chakotay. "You know Ayala pretty well," she said. "Do you think he's responsible when it comes to women?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I... I just have reason to believe that Seven may have taken a shine to him. She's never had a relationship and, despite her sometimes cold exterior, is very vulnerable. I don't want him to take advantage of her in anyway."

"Ayala would never do that," Chakotay said kindly. "He's one of the most considerate men I know. In fact, I think he's one of the few men on board who would be able to deal with the many issues she has."

Kathryn smiled, both relieved and inspired by his words. She curled her lip and her eyes shone with anticipation. "Then perhaps you can have a word with him ... get him to ask Seven on a date."

Chakotay laughed softly. "Fancy a new career as a match maker?"

"No, they could just be so good for each other."

"Perhaps," he smiled, "but looking at them, I don't think they are going to need our intervention."

Kathryn turned again to look at them and saw that they were standing even closer, Ayala with his hand on Seven's shoulder. Kathryn smiled contentedly. "Perhaps you're right, Chakotay. Perhaps you're right."


FOUR DAYS LATER

The cool water of the lake was a welcome relief from the heat of the afternoon sun. Kathryn lay on her back and let herself drift with the soft current. Chakotay was hand making a cot for the twins and she had left him to it and decided to take a swim. As she lay on her back, she gazed at white clouds crossing a blue sky above and was completely lost in the serenity.

Suddenly, a rustling sound to her right disturbed her peace and Kathryn turned to look at the lakeside. There was nothing to see but trees and long grass.

"Chakotay?"

Silence.

Then there was more rustling and she heard a branch break. Kathryn swallowed. She and Chakotay had chosen a location that was miles away from panthers they had detected living in the wild, but it was quite possible that one or two had wandered as far as their shelter.

She raised her hand to her brow, shielding her eyes from the sun, and studied the area as intensely as she could. She couldn't see anything on the bank, but that didn't mean there wasn't a panther on the prowl. She had no idea what color the animals were or how well they were able to camouflage themselves. She also knew that being in the water was no defense as panthers could swim.

Suddenly, Kathryn saw something pink amongst the trees. A pink panther? No, that couldn't be... She strained her eyes to look closer and gasped when, for a split second, she saw what appeared to be a naked child in the bushes. Then, who, or whatever, was there, was gone.


"It was somewhere here," Kathryn said, as she and Chakotay investigated the area half an hour later.

"My tricorder's not picking up any lifesigns except birds," Chakotay replied, scanning the area thoroughly. "Are you sure it wasn't a bird you saw? The sun can be deceiving."

"I saw a face," Kathryn answered. " A child's face. I'm sure of it."

"Well, there's..." Chakotay stopped in mid sentence as his tricorder detected a lifesign. "Wait a minute," he said. "I'm picking up something."

Kathryn moved over to his position and, as she did so, found her tricorder picked up a lifesign aswell.

"500 yards away," she said. "Immature female. Unknown species."

Chakotay looked up at her. "How is that possible? Our sensors found no humanoid lifesigns on this planet."

"I don't know," Kathryn replied. "Perhaps our sensors were unable to detect them for some reason."

"Well," Chakotay replied sadly. "If this planet is occupied, we're going to have to cut short our shoreleave and get the hell out of here."

Kathryn nodded, sharing his disappointment, and then hit her commbadge. "Janeway to Tuvok."

Tuvok responded. "Go ahead, Captain."

"There appears to be a primitive race inhabiting this planet. We're going to have cut short our vacation and return to the ship. Inform the crew."

"At once, Captain."

"And transport everything at our location back to the ship. We don't want to leave anything behind that might..."

She was interrupted by Chakotay. "I'm picking up another lifesign on sensors," he said, "I think it's an animal ... a panther..."

Kathryn turned to her tricorder again and quickly digested the information displayed. "It seems to be moving towards the child." She addressed Tuvok again. "Go ahead with transporting everything at the shelter. I'll be in touch later. Janeway out."

As the connection terminated, Chakotay pulled out his phaser. "The little girl won't stand a chance against a panther," he said. "I'll have to stun it." He put his hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "You stay here."

With that, he disappeared into the thick of the trees.


After a few minutes of wading quickly through dense woodland, he saw an opening in the trees ahead. On the ground a few yards away, curled up crying, was what appeared to be a little girl, the human equivalent of a five or six year old. Long pink hair fell over what was otherwise a naked body and she was looking directly ahead. Chakotay turned in the direction. There, upon a rock, was a large black panther. The animal was glaring at the child with an unmistakably predatory look in her eyes. With a steady hand, Chakotay aimed his phaser at the animal and fired. Instantly, the panther fell to the ground unconscious.

Chakotay then hurried over to the little girl. She turned sharply to him as he approached and he saw that her eyes were the same shade of pink as her hair. Tears stained her cheeks and her snow white body was painfully thin and covered in bruises. As Chakotay knelt beside her, she backed away from him fearfully.

"It's alright," Chakotay said kindly. "I won't hurt you."

The little girl clumsily tried to get to her feet, but fell again.

Chakotay put his hand on her arm and the child gasped, absolute fear in her eyes.

"I won't hurt you," he said again. "I just want to help."

Gently, he picked the child up and held her carefully in his arms. She was as light as a feather.

"Show me the way to your people," he said kindly. It would be breaking the prime directive to make contact with them, but technically the prime directive was already broken, and what ever the regulations, he couldn't just leave the child in the middle of no where. She was injured and suffering from exposure.

The little girl didn't respond and all he could do was survey the surrounding area. There were marks on the ground ahead of them, suggesting the child had come from that east direction. To walk east would bring them to the foot of the closest mountain. He guessed that her people were cave dwellers, which was perhaps why sensors hadn't detected them.

He began to walk east and was soon amongst high trees again. He walked on a little while and then came to another opening as he reached the foot of a mountain. There were rocks all around, all the same color, all indistinguishable. He looked at the child in his arms and saw that she was looking to the right of the rocks. He began to walk in the direction of her eyes and soon found they were leading to a cave. He approached the cave slowly, not wanting to alarm anyone, and then ventured inside. What he saw there froze him in his tracks.

"My God," he whispered.

The cave seemed to be full of dead bodies. All around were corpses in various stages of decay, many skeletons already.

The little girl wriggled in his arms and he gently lowered her to the ground. Crying, she climbed over the bodies until she found a particular one, and then nestled against it, her head on its chest.

Coming to his senses, Chakotay pulled out his tricorder and measured the lifesigns in the cave. There were four. His, the little girl's, and two others, both female, which were very faint. One came from the body the child was clinging too.

"Chakotay to Voyager," he said, hitting his commbadge.

Tuvok's voice responded. "Go ahead, Commander."

"I have two medical emergencies at my location." He took off his commbadge and fixed it firmly into the woman's hair. "Get a lock on my commbadge and prepare sickbay for a medical emergency. Then transport me another commbadge."

"Yes, Sir"

The connection terminated and seconds later, the woman dematerialized. The little girl cried out and looked up at him in horror. "It's alright," Chakotay said, studying his tricorder to locate the second living alien. "We're going to try and make her better."

Another commbadge materialized and Chakotay picked it up before moving in the direction of the other living body. He found her lying beneath a jagged rock. She was naked too and her body was black with bruises and stale blood. He fixed the commbadge into her hair. "Chakotay to Voyager. Second medical emergency transport."

Within seconds, the woman dematerialized.

Chakotay got up and returned to the little girl. She was lying on the ground, curled into a ball, crying. Chakotay gently stroked her long hair. "It's alright," he said again, desperately wanting to comfort the child somehow, but not knowing how too. "There's no need to be afraid. You're safe now. No one is going to hurt you."

Another commbadge materialized and Chakotay gratefully picked it up. He pinned it to his chest and activated it.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

Kathryn's voice sounded. "What's happening? I've lost you on my tricorder."

"We need to get back to the ship," he answered. "Meet me in transporter room one."

"Acknowledged."

The connection terminated. Chakotay picked up the crying little girl and requested transportation for them both.


After materializing in transporter room one, Chakotay only had to wait a few seconds for Kathryn to appear.

Kathryn approached him. "What's going on?"

"Computer," Chakotay said, "deactivate translators in this room." He didn't want the child to understand what he was saying.

"Translators deactivated."

"I don't think there are native people of this planet," he began. "Prime directive or no prime directive, I wanted to take the little girl back to her people as she was injured and suffering from exposure. I thought they would be cave dwelling people, but when I reached a cave and went inside, it was full of dead and dying bodies, some skeletons already. I think they were deliberately abandoned there some time over the past few days and left to die. I had the dying transported to sickbay and brought the little girl back with me. " He looked at the child in his arms. "She needs medical attention, but we can't send her to sickbay, not in the state she's in. She might think the Doctor's hurting her people."

Kathryn studied the crying child pitifully. "I'll take her to our quarters and treat her myself," she said. "In the meantime, I want every acre of this planet scanned for humanoid lifesigns, and want an away team sent to the mountain where you found the people to see if there's any more injured or dying people in the caves. I also want this region of space scanned for any trace of an alien vessel in the vicinity or any trace that a vessel has been in the vicinity during the past 96 hours."

Chakotay lowered the child to the floor. "I'll get right to it."


Kathryn gently stroked the little girl's brow as the child drifted to sleep. The child was so afraid every time she touched her that putting her to sleep was the only way she could treat her. When the little girl was finally unconscious, Kathryn injected her starving body with nourishment, and then began to treat her wounds. There were deep red stripes across her body, indicative of thrashing. Both disgust and anger welled inside Kathryn. How could anyone hurt a child?

"Doctor to Captain Janeway."

Kathryn hit her commbadge. "Janeway here."

"I've lost one of the women, Captain, but I've managed to stabilize the other."

"What's her condition?"

"She was suffering from starvation, dehydration, exposure, and multiple injuries that I believe were deliberately inflicted. Both her legs, and the legs of the other woman, were broken."

Kathryn absorbed this new a moment, then spoke. "Keep me informed of her condition, Doctor, and let me know if she regains consciousness. She may be able to tell us what happened."

"Acknowledged."


After almost nine hours of searching in vain for more humanoids, the away team returned to Voyager, tired and hungry. As far as they could conclude, and as far as all scans suggested, there were no more living humanoids on the planet. A scan of the surrounding space had shown that a vessel had passed through 58 hours before, but no vessel could be detected now.

Kathryn lay on her bed, her back aching, and tried to forget the events of the day for a moment. There was nothing more they could do until they had more information about what had happened, and the only way they could obtain that was if the woman told them when she woke up. The little girl was in no state to be questioned, and even if they did question her, it was unlikely she would respond. After Kathryn had treated the child, she had taken her to Samantha Wildman, thinking Naomi's company might help put her at ease.

The doors to the bedroom opened, and Petal left her basket as Chakotay entered to greet him. Kathryn sat up.

"Any developments?"

"Nothing," he replied.

Kathryn buried her head in her hands. "Who could do such a thing, Chakotay? Who could torture people and then abandon them on a planet to die? Who could do that to a child?"

"I don't know," Chakotay answered, sitting on the edge of the bed. "A species as brutal as the Kaboli or Cardassians, perhaps."

"It's so barbaric," she said. "Why not just kill them if that was their intention? Why let them die such a painful and horrific death?"

"I don't know," he said again. "Some form of punishment, perhaps. Some kind of ritual."

Kathryn lay back against her pillows. "The child was so frightened, Chakotay. So frightened that I had to sedate her to treat her."

"She was frightened when I first found her too. My heart ached for her." He paused. "Do you know which of the women the Doctor managed to save? The one that was transported first or the second?"

"I don't know," she replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Because when I took the child to the cave, she climbed desperately over the dead bodies to reach one of the women. She lay beside her and clung desperately to her. I've been thinking that maybe that woman was her mother."

Kathryn was just about to speak when the Doctor's voice addressed her over the comm.

"Doctor to Captain Janeway."

Kathryn answered. "Janeway here."

"I'm about to wake up our patient."

"I'll be right there," she answered.

As the connection terminated, Kathryn turned back to Chakotay. "You go and get the little girl and I'll go to sickbay. Give me ten minutes or so to question the woman, and then bring the child. I'm sure they'll both be glad to see each other, even if she isn't the woman the child was close too." She reached for Chakotay's hand and gripped it tightly. "But let's just hope for the little girl's sake she is."


Kathryn looked down at the alien woman lying on a biobed before her. She was a small woman, but of a large figure, and had the same shade of pink hair as the child. The Doctor put a hypospray to the woman's neck and the woman's eyes slowly fluttered open. As her pretty pink eyes focussed, fear filled them.

"Don't be afraid," Kathryn said gently. "You're safe here."

The woman's mouth moved as she tried to speak. "Vixi ... daughter.."

"She's just fine," Kathryn smiled, a relief consuming her that this was indeed the woman Chakotay was talking about. "She'll be here in a moment. And you're going to be fine too." She then paused. "We found you both on a planet. Can you tell us how you came to be there?"

"We were abandoned," she answered.

"By whom?"

"Our people."

Kathryn gazed at her sadly. "Why would they abandon you?"

The woman made no reply. Kathryn reached for her hand and held it. "You can tell us. We want to help you."

At the kindness in Kathryn's voice and the gentleness of her touch, the woman began to open up. "Because we're imperfect. They wanted to be a perfect race, to have a superior intelligence. They did an experiment ... years ago ... tried to create superior babies. But it went wrong. There was no superior intelligence ... only genetic deficiencies that made us different." She paused. "Hundreds of us were created in our mother's wombs, but when they realized half a generation later that the experiment had failed, they tried to destroy all children and new born babies. I was rescued, taken to a colony with other rescued babies, and lived there for years. I was happy there, and got married to a man like me, had Vixi. But the government found out about our colony and captured us all. They kept us in a prison, treated us badly, and then took people week by week to the planet. We were the last ones. No more after us. They took us to the planet, beat us, and then abandoned us." Tears welled in her eyes."Vixi managed to hide while they beat us ... just a child ... so small... Was so scared for her. Told her to find water, drink water. She did, and brought me some in a leaf. She tried to help the others too ... did everything to help us..."

It was a moment before Kathryn could question further, trying hard to comprehend the inhumanity, and her heart ached for the woman. "Why would they abandon you in such a way? Why make you suffer so much?"

"Because our law says we can't kill..."

"I see," Kathryn answered, understanding her meaning. According to their law, they couldn't directly take a life, couldn't execute in any direct way. So, instead, they severely injured those they wanted rid of, and then left them to die of starvation. The brutality made her want to heave.

The woman closed her eyes, hardly daring to ask the question she knew she had too. "What will you do with us?"

Kathryn squeezed the woman's hand. "Whatever you want," she said kindly. "You're our guests. We can't offer you much, we're thousands of light years away from our home, and all we have is this ship. But you're welcome to stay with us and to share our journey home. There's another little girl about your daughter's age on board, and this ship is as much a home to us all as it is a means of transport. You're welcome to become a part of our family."

The woman opened her eyes and looked into Kathryn's. The gratitude Kathryn saw there brought a lump to her throat.

"Thank you," the woman whispered. "Thank you so much."

Kathryn smiled sadly. "No thanks are necessary." She then let go of the woman's hand. "I'm Kathryn, by the way. Kathryn Janeway. Captain of this ship."

The woman smiled. "I'm Roxa."

Suddenly, sickbay doors opened and Chakotay came in with Vixi. The little girl's dull, empty, eyes, shone with love and filled with happy tears when she saw her mother awake in the bed.

"Mama," she said joyfully.

Her mother turned to her tearfully and sat up as Vixi hurried over to her. As she reached the bed, the woman's sturdy arms reached for the child and lifted her onto the bed. The little girl wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and they held each other tight.


Soft music played and Kathryn relaxed in a warm soapy bath. The warmth of the water eased the tension in her back and soothed aching muscles in her leg. Suddenly, there was a loud splash and Kathryn gasped as Petal landed on her feet in the bath, splashing bubbles everywhere.

"Oh, Petal," Kathryn cried, half laughing, as she reached for the animal. "You're not supposed to be in here."

She turned to the open doors. "Chakotay, you're letting this animal run riot!"

Moments later Chakotay appeared, his shirt hanging out of his trousers and his sleeves rolled up. "I'm sorry," he said. "I was just putting the cot into the nursery so I can work on it in my spare time." He laughed softly as he made his way over to the bath at the sight of Kathryn holding the dog, bubbles on her cheeks and even more on the dog's nose. "Two baths for one," he smiled. "You're always saying we should economise more."

Kathryn handed him the dog with a smile. "But there's limits to which I will go." She reached for a towel and dried her face. "But I have to take some of the blame. I should have locked the doors."

As she spoke, the door chime sounded.

"And speaking of doors..." Chakotay smiled. "I'll leave you to your bath."

He left the room and the doors shut behind him.

"Come in," Chakotay called, still holding Petal incase she tried to escape to the bathroom again.

The Doctor came in.

Chakotay smiled. "What can I do for you, Doctor?"

"I'd like to speak with the Captain," he replied.

"She's taking a bath at the moment," Chakotay answered, "but I'll tell her you're here."

The bathroom doors opened and Kathryn appeared. She was dressed in a white robe and her hair was wrapped up in a towel. "No need," she smiled, "I'm all done."

"Then I'll leave you to it," Chakotay said, putting Petal to the floor.

As he disappeared into the nursery room, Kathryn gestured to the couch. "Take a seat, Doctor."

The Doctor sat and Kathryn sat opposite him.

"I'd like to discuss the matter we were talking about the other day," he said. "My quarters."

"I see," Kathryn answered, the Doctor's face and tone telling her he hadn't changed his mind.

"Now they're staying on Voyager, Roxa and Vixi are going to need living quarters, and it's only right that they should have mine."

"They will need quarters," Kathryn said, "but I've already spoken to Lieutenant Crowman and he's going to start modifying a dorm for them in the morning."

"Then I'll speak to him and cancel the arrangement," the Doctor answered. "I want them to have my quarters."

"I inderstand your sentiment," she replied, "but I'm not happy with you taking a step backwards on this..."

"It isn't," he continued. "It's taking a step forward. It's recognising me for who I am. My quarters has a bedroom. I don't sleep. My quarters has a bathroom. I don't bathe or need a lavatory. It's wasting quarters that could serve others better."

Kathryn considered this a moment. The Doctor had made good points. "Alright then," she said. "How about we give you a room on the ship instead? A room that will be your own to relax in and do whatever you want?"

The Doctor's holographic eyes lit up. "That would be wonderful, Captain."

Kathryn smiled at his contentment. "There's a storage room next to sickbay. How about we relocate everything in it and give you that?"

"Excellent," the Doctor said, getting to his feet. "A perfect solution. Thank you, Captain."

"Not at all," she replied, getting to her feet. "Thank you."

He smiled. "I'll inform Lieutenant Crowman that he's to modify my quarters for Roxa and Vixi tomorrow instead."

"I'd appreciate that."

He smiled again, the smile on his face greater than the smile in his eyes. "Goodnight, Captain."

"Goodnight, Doctor," she said warmly.

As the Doctor left, Kathryn turned to Petal. She picked the animal up and then looked around the room, a contented smile on her face. The quarters were only glorified bays filled with furniture, but to her, no home had ever been dearer. She could hear Chakotay move around in the nursery and knew that over the next few months he would be spending a lot of time in there. He had so many plans for the room and for their children. The babies inside her moved now, a sensation that was still new and exciting, and Kathryn put her hand to her abdomen. At that moment, everything seemed perfect in her universe. She squeezed Petal affectionately and then held the animal out before her. "If I bring out my knitting needles later and start making a baby coat, will you give me five minutes peace to do it?"

Petal gazed at her adoringly and started licking her face. Kathryn laughed. "We can only give it a try."

She put the animal to the floor and then made her way back to the bathroom to dry her hair.

END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN