Crying for Us
Howdy. This is the sequel to My Duty to You. Here, as I start this on July 18th of 2005, I have just beaten Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones at exactly 4:53 pm. I must, under pain of death, write this one-shot.
Beware: High sap content, hints of EphraimxL'Archael, minor suggestive themes, super fluffy romance, uncommon writing style, overall shortness…lots of Eirika and Seth…
Yeah, you'd better get bewaring.
Crying For Us
I invite a long night of deep sleep. I implore it to come. After a bloody battle with Fomortiis, the dreaded Demon King, I would be willing to sell all my jewelry for a single night of welcome rest. However, sleep does not come to me tonight alone.
I'm dreaming of him again.
He kisses me intently, passion falling over us like hot water. My skin grows warm against his. When we break apart, his kisses my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, my neck. Every inch of skin he claims as his own.
I moan softly as our clothes fall from our bodies. In my fevered dreams, we fall back upon a bed of pillows, soft as feathers. My back arches against his body as he comes to rest atop me. His breathe is warm and tingles against my ear…
"I love you, Eirika."
With a jolt, I awake in my bed in Castle Renais. I cannot believe it has happened again, for the umpteenth time over the course of the past week. I dream of him, I see him everywhere. I find myself repeating his name over and over again under my breath when I am alone.
General Seth, the Silver Knight of Renais…
To a commoner, it sounds like the name of a respected man and a fearsome general. To me, his name makes him sound like a handsome god found only in my dreams.
I look around. Everything about my room is the same as I left it. The blue carpets, the huge bed, the silk canopy that matches the curtains. I stare blankly at the mirror that hangs on the wall across from me.
My electric blue hair is mussed from tossing in my sleep, falling down my back and across my shoulders to pool around my hips as I sit up in my bed. My eyes are bleary from sleep-deprivation, and I stare at my reflection.
As I swing my legs over the edge of my bed, I pause for a moment to admire my own slenderness in the moonlight that spills down from the sky through my window. I wonder in my mind if Seth ever notices…
No, this is the way of thinking that makes me dream. This is the line of thought that will be my heart's downfall. He has already broken my heart, but I quickly mended it. I told myself that my duty would come first. I did my duty. I did my duty to Renais, to my brother, to my lost friend Lyon.
Inside, I am torn in constant debate. I know deep down that I cannot abandon all reason simply because the Demon King has fallen. That would be foolish. Yet, I also know that I have feelings for General Seth that I must consider.
I stand up, and my light blue nightdress falls to my feet in a wave of silk. I decide that a walk will clear my head, and allow sleep to come without erotic dreams in its wake. Sliding a soft robe up my shoulders, I leave my room barefoot, shutting the door quietly behind me.
Castle Renais is quiet as I walk, the moonlight illuminating patches on the floors, leaving the rest in darkness. I am surprised to see another person, fully clothes, unlike me, roaming the hallways. He leans on the window sill, holding a single piece of parchment and reviewing it while muttering.
I smile as I realize who it is. He stands taller than I, with aqua blue hair but to his ears and falling into his eyes. He has my eyes, my nose, many of my features. He is my twin brother, Prince Ephraim of Renais.
I walk softly in my bare feet, and I hear his mutterings as I draw nearer.
"Dearest L'Archael…
How I miss your face
Won't you fall into my arms?
In your dress of white lace?"
He hangs his head, sighing and admitting defeat. "Damn, Forde. When I asked you to write a love poem for me, I intended that it bring a smile to her face and warmth to her heart. This is only going to make her sick."
I stifle a laugh, and he turns wildly to face me. When he realizes that it is his darling sister and not an evil omen, he relaxes slightly, before tensing up again. "How much of that did you hear?"
I smile. "I do not intend to reprimand Forde's artistic talents, but that was atrocious."
He smiles back, and appears relived. "Good. I thought there for a moment that it was actually not that bad a piece, and I simply have no taste for the arts."
I shake my head. "It's a horrible love poem. Why don't you just write her a regular letter and tell her how you feel? It is L'Archael you are writing to, is it not? I'm sure a regular letter will do just fine."
Ephraim slowly raises his eyebrows, turning to face me completely. "We are talking about the same L'Archael, aren't we? The self-proclaimed queen of righteousness? Something tells me a regular letter would not be fine."
"Well, then you underestimate the power of words," I tell him. Then, I stop, and look down to the floor. I am a hypocrite. Here I stand, telling my brother the power of words, when I cannot find the courage to approach Seth and tell him my true feelings.
Then, I do know that it is only a matter of time before it is too late. Seth will fine another lady. I will find myself in need of a husband, and royal princes and dukes will flock to my feet. Then, a chasm will separate us, and there will be no bridge across it.
I snap back to reality when Ephraim stands before me and nudges my shoulder. "Sister? Are you feeling all right? You look pale…"
I smile in what I hope is a reassuring way. "I'm fine, Brother. Please think about what I said. A regular and sincere letter will work just fine." I pause hesitantly. "Um…do you know if General Seth has retired to bed yet?" A foolish question. It is late into the night.
Ephraim looks at me for a long time. I meet his gaze, trying not to flinch under his powerful gaze. In the time that we have fought together in hope of restoring peace, he had matured greatly into a powerful and respected man of great honor. I am very proud of him.
"No, I do not think he has given into sleep yet. There are many things that need to be done, and last I left him he was reading damage reports and recruiting forms," he says slowly. I cannot help but flush.
"Really? W-Well…thank you, brother," I say, before hurrying off down the hall, rushing.
"Eirika," he calls after me, "hang on for a second."
I come to a stop, layers of silk coming to rest against my ankles. Looking over my shoulders, I look at him. He smiles.
"I approve," is all he says before turning back down the hall and disappearing into the dark, walking in the opposite direction. I slowly begin walking again, wondering if my emotional struggle has really been that obvious so as my romantically-challenged brother can sight them.
I hurry down the hall. I feel as if I am in a race. A race again time and time will not wait for me to catch up.
Take deep breathes. Don't panic. Appear calm. I sigh and cringe when I realize that I might as well be asking Prince Innes to throw a celebration party for my brother. I might have better luck at achieving that seemingly impossible feat than calming my beating heart.
His door stands tall before me. I try to assure myself that it is simply a piece of wood. A highly decorated, polished, thick piece of wood that stands between me and Seth. My heart is beating so loud in my ears I expect it to be loud enough to wake in entire castle.
Raising my hand, I form a fist and knock.
Knock, knock, knock.
At first, the silence presses down on me. I panic. What if I wake him from his sleep? What if he is busy and I am disturbing him? Oh, well, I imagine I will be disturbing him no matter what he is doing. Maybe it would be wise if I run. If I start now, I could make it to the corner and hide before he opens the door…
Carefully, I open the door a crack, relieved when it does not make a sound. A shaft of light falls from the open door, my silhouette framed by white moonbeams. When I peek my head in, I hold my breath at the sight I see.
Seth sits at his desk, his calm reddish-brown eyes skimming page after page of reports, forms, charts, and calculations. His bangs fall into his eyes, drawing my attention to his long lashes. I shake my head quickly, ripping my eyes away and examining the rest of him.
His grey wool turtleneck shirt is not tucked into his dark grey pants like it normally it. His pants seem looser, and I realize with a flush that he is not wearing a belt, for boots, just socks. A single set of candles sitting on the desk cast shadows on his features, but he is still handsome. In a sense, he seems different. Younger, and more youthful.
He is so absorbed in what he reads that he does not realize I am here until I speak. "S-Seth?"
He jumps to a start, laying his paper back down on his desk, turning in his seat to face his door. I resist the tempting thought to running again, and I feel strange. It is so unlike me to want to run, but there is a great difference in everything when I talk to Seth.
He quickly stands. I feel giddy for a second when I see that he is worried about me. It feels warm inside to know he cares for my safety. "Princess Eirika, what ails you? Are you ill?"
I step fully into his room, slowly shutting the door behind me. It is darker, and I stand out like a pale blue bird in the night. I feel as naked as a bird as I stand before him. "N-Nothing is wrong, Seth. I thank you for worrying. May…may I speak to you, just for a moment?"
He knows he cannot deny a royal request, and I can tell he feels he is betraying himself by standing before me when all I wear is my sleeping things. Subconsciously, I fold my arms across my chest.
"Of course, my lady," he says. I nod quickly, for no reason besides having something to do.
He shifts his weight to his other foot, clearly nervous about something, before turning and walking back to his desk. He shuffles some papers around. Then he strides the length of the room and throws back curtains and illuminates the room a bit more, opening the window to let the still night seep into the room.
I take a deep breath, choking on words. "Seth…do you remember…" I struggle with words and mentally labor to form sentences, "might you recall the night a few months ago…"
Incomplete sentences.
By the window, I see him visibly tense. He knows what night I speak of. Slowly, he shifts his weight again, drawing my wandering eyes to lowers parts of his body that I really should not be looking at.
"Yes, lady. I remember." His voice is soft, yet clear and kind.
I swallow, wet my lips, and step closer. Then I continue. "And you remember the morning…before that? The morning when you kissed…me…" I would have said more, but I lost my voice as Seth interrupted.
"Lady, please pardon my interruption and my rudeness, but we have discussed this before." It appears hard for him to continue. "We…have duties to follow. Though we may have felt something for each other once before, it is not right for us…for us to…"
I step closer still, until there is but a few feet of space between us. My voice warbles and breaks. "It is not right for us…to love. Is that what you say, Seth?"
Seth grips the windowsill with white knuckles and fingers, locked in an inner battle against himself. Slowly, he forces himself to nod. "Yes, lady. We…it is…not right," he finished lamely.
An emotion I did not expect tonight swells: anger. I am angry at him. He is glued to his duties. His title as General and his vows to the Knights of Renais bind him tightly, holding him to a certain set of rules and guidelines he had stuck to all these years. I had done the same in my role as Princess, and as Ephraim's sister.
The night that the Castle fell to Grado, and we held each other and he rode me to safety, the wall around him cracked. The morning they kissed their only kiss, the wall broke. Since then, through all our trials, I see him trying to piece his soul back together.
I step forward into the moonlight, reaching for him. I step close against him, my hips against his leg, my chest against his arm, my arms around his elbow, and my forehead resting on his strong shoulder. "Seth, give me a reason. A single, good, solid reason why we should not be able to love. Duty only goes so far. Do not let your title rule your life." I bury my head deeper into the fabric of his shirt. "Please…live your own life."
Seth's muscles tense under my body. Silence falls over the room. All I can hear is the faint sound of a distant wind in the mountain forests. My heart pounds wildly under my chest. I'm sure he feels it against his arm.
Finally, he speaks. "I…have to reason, only that if you cannot send me to command troops and fight to a possible grave, then you will never be queen."
I have heard these words before. He told them to me that night, a lifetime ago, when he broke my heart. It is but distant memories now. By tomorrow, the course of my life will be determined depending on what happens tonight.
"I…I dream about you, Seth. I feel so much for you, and this feeling makes me want to fly so high towards the moon that not even a shooting star could catch me. Yet, when I hear you speak of duty and royalty, I come crashing back down and it hurts me," I babble, choking back tears. I do not want to cry before him.
He jerks slightly, and when I peek at him I am stunned to learn that Seth, a grown man, is crying. Silent tears make tiny steams down his face. He feels what I feel. It hurts him, too.
"Lady…"
I move closer, pressing my body harder against him in hopes of merging our very existences. I shake my head wildly, sending my hair flying. "No, Seth, no. I have a name. It's Eirika. I am not just a lady, or just a princess, or just the woman you serve. I am Eirika."
He closes his eyes, trying to stem the tears flow. "Eirika…"
I do not realize I am crying too until it is too late to stop. I sob into his shoulder, clinging to him to that the forces of gravity do not bring me to the floor, wailing like a lost child. Through the mist of my tears, I choke but manage to speak.
"I…I love you, Seth."
There is silence that suffocates me. The only sound now is the plinking of Seth's tears falling onto the windowsill. I am so close to him, and I can almost feel him struggle to fight against his vows, his boundaries. His duty.
He tries one last time to fight his heart. "You…will be queen…"
Again, I shake my head, frantic. If I am to loose him again, my heart will truly break, and I will never mend it back. "No, Seth. I will not be queen. Ephraim will be king, and his lady will be queen. Their children will be princes and princesses, and I will always be there to help him. One day, maybe, I will be a queen."
Before he can attempt to prove another point, I cut him off. "If I cannot become a queen with you as my king, then I shall never be a queen at all."
He opens his mouth to say something, but helplessly shuts it again. Finally, he manages to say a single thing. "Eirika…"
"Seth," I sob. I love him name, his body, and his soul. I love his existence. I love him.
I do not know how long we stood there in the moonlight, crying and silent. I only remember how he felt against me, how he smells, how he shoulders shook as he cried. I wanted to remember this moment, because nothing would be the same tomorrow.
To my surprise, he moves and carefully untangles my body from his. When we stand arm-length, he places his hands firmly on my shoulders. He is quiet for a moment, and I feel his eyes on my. Suddenly, I feel as thought my clothes do not exist. I am naked. He can see everything about me. My secrets, my dreams, my joys, my sins. He reads me like a book.
"Lady, I understand you feelings. I feel what you feel. I feel obligated to follow my duties as a Knight of Renais, yet…at the same time…I want to make you happy. I want you to never cry from sorrow again. I want to abandon my duties, saddle my horse, and carry you away to a seaside cottage somewhere in the world where we can be together for the rest of…forever.
You are the world to me. Every night, I dream of you as you dream of me. I long for those dreams to be reality. I long to have children with you. To be a father to your children. I long for so many things," he says calmly, his gaze burning on my body. I tremble. He words are the most powerful I have ever heard.
"After hearing what you feel tonight, I can come to a conclusion. The boundaries of duty and the vows of knighthood can only span so far into a person's life. At first, it seemed that loving you would break those vows. I worried that even if I could love you, that one day you would wake up and look beside you, and see a man who is too old for you. Now, I see that by not loving you, I am breaking my vow to make you happy," he whispers. My hearts beats faster.
Then it comes. Three little words that wash across my soul like a warm breeze that swells my heart with happiness. Three words that march into my head and are greeted with warm reception, like soldiers coming home.
"I love you…Eirika."
The distance between us closes. I fall into his arms, and fit against him like a missing piece in the puzzle of his heart. His arms wrap around my waist, and he rests his head atop mine as my own arms snake around his neck.
"Oh, Seth…" Is all I can say. I am so happy.
"Don't speak, Eirika. There is no need for words. Just cry, my dear, sweet, Eirika…" He murmurs in my ear. And so I do.
We lay in his bed, side by side, holding each other and crying. We cry for our lost time, for our misguided souls. We cry for our troubles, our lost dreams, and our foolishness. We cry and sob for our sheer obliviousness.
Then, together, Seth and I cry out of happiness. Out of joy, love. I cry because he is so radiant, and I cannot believe that he finally sleeps by my side, holding me tight as he did that night long ago when this very Castle fell to Grado. He cries because he loves me. He is happy with me.
When the next morning came, we stand wake up and smile. Then we laugh, like we haven't laughed in so long. He picks me up in his arms, and carries me to the window where we professed our loves. When he sets my down, he kisses me, gently and lovingly.
When we break apart, he takes my hands in his, and presses them against his heart. "Eirika, my love…Will you marry me?"
I smile and kiss him again. "Unless you can give one, good reason why I shouldn't."
Then we laugh, because we know there isn't one.
And so we were married, with the blessing of my brother Ephraim and all the Knight of Renais. Our tale of love spread throughout the land of Magvel. The romance between a princess and her loyal knight became a tale of love for ages that followed.
When we grew older, I became the joyful mother of twins. A courageous girl and a loyal little boy, both of them reminding me everyday of their father. Seth continued to serve the Knights of Renais, until he retired to live the rest of his days with me.
Sometimes, we cry in the night about the precious time we lost. But do not cry for us.
We are happy.
Okay, that was a bit longer than originally planned…and it ended in a different way than I planned. But, I guess it worked out.
I think this might be my best work (besides The newly named Learning to Fall, which is gonna be really good, I hope.)
See that little button at the bottom of the screen? Yeah, that one. Ish the 'review' button. Reviewing is nice. I like to make new friends and here what people have to say about my work. Who knows, I just might turn around and review to your stories in return.
Until next time!
With Luck and Love,
Becca
