Heh. Brought to you hopefully on time! This is probably the biggest chapter I've written, as more notebook pages were taken up with it. By the way, I love you, Isolde1, I really do. Your work is awesome and your English skills are amazing considering you were French first. Gods I'm so unproffesional. 84 reviews, thanks.
Eudoxus: Ah ha, yes, it's a better term for what he was going to use. Never heard of splooge o.0
xvalencex: Well thank you That's a big compliment considering I was so concerned for the characterization.
sweetsnow: Everyone says Kakashi. Am I that obvious? Hm. We'll see.
kakashifangirl: Some people live by one catch-phrase. That is Tsunde's in this fic . No one will know who the stalker is until the end, if at all.
Spectre: oo Would he really go so low, you think? Maybe, maybe not xD
ZheM: You too? I should make a vote for who the people want the stalker to be.
Letta: Oh, he really gets the best out of Sasuke in this chapter. :wink:
any: Yes, I based a few of them off of my own teachers, especially Tsunade(Thank you evil English teacher for inspiration...) Gai is his own little character. I wish I had a hot bishounen(Kakashi) for my gym teacher instead of the old man I have. -.-
SaiyanSandBoarder: Oh yes, I love this pairing too much to stop now. Enjoy this chapter.
Iceheart19: Chapter 3 was so far my favorite. The store part was a good idea on my part, I admit. I love to play with these characters.
Yaoilover S: Yup, you and many others think it's the young pervert. We'll see. The date is here, in this chapter, so read!
vic: That's because I'm a pervert, dahling. I'll do that if you keep reading and reviewing.
mini-kero: I think you and a few others will enjoy this chapter. I hope you've enjoyed every chapter, really.
Kawaii Thief Kitsune: I think this is the only one out there, but I wouldn't mind a few others, you know? On I continue...
anthooula: I don't know at this point. Everyone seems to think so. We'll see.
KageOni1: Oh? You think it's Gaara? Well you're the first one. Maybe you're right. Oh, I'm sorry your friend flamed this story. Since it's a guy that probably means this is yaoi-tastic, eh?
insight-to-insanity: Gah:nudged off computer chair: Okay, well this chapter is dedicated to you :P Naruto IS jump-rope master. Iruka has to show that little spark of evil he has every now and then! xD
gina-uzumaki: Thank you. Though, banging my head against the wall and drinking cough syrup is not the best way to pick up an uncliche idea. No! No SasuNaru.
AznNarutoGrl91: It does. Oh how it continues. Make sure you read chapters 4 and 5 now.
Tamara2187: Update HERE!
Kaelas: Ja! Aww, this story has so many fans TT
((About here I've decided I'm only answering questions now x.x))
Azamiko: At first I thought this review was an insult, but reading it over, it's just stating the facts. Highschool is hard, I know because Middle school is hell. With all these homophobes it really is no surprise Naruto is shunned, but originally this was because everyone believed he got special treatment from the teachers because he had Iruka. I am so pleased. As soon as I stuck a ne character into the story, everyone jumped all over him, including you. Everyone is looking for a Sasu/Naru, just look at the reviews! ;
ellina HOPE: Yes, I know. Formatting is a pain in the ass and there was also supposed to be a '-' changing the scenes, but those somehow disappeared . I'll be fixing 4 later and replacing '/' with italics, but thanks for telling me.
This is where I hit 100 reviews, I'm sure. So everyone make sure to review... I know. I'm so damn evil... I will only let everyone have Chapter 6 if I reach 105-110 reviews. And believe me, you're gonna want 6 xD. Now, for Chapter 5.
"Dont Pick Up" Chapter 5: Sasuke Eats Face!
It was the best sleep he'd had in years. The English teacher rose, not as a zombie but as if he'd just woken up from years of sleep. He took a shower -careful to make sure all windows were locked and covered- and got dressed into clean clothes (the nights before he'd just slept in the same clothes.)
"Not too fancy," He reminded himself as he faced a mirror and smoothed out a wrinkle on his plain white shirt. "It's a normal day... Please/please, don't embarrass yourself today." His lower lip quivered and promptly he had to burry his face into a nearby pillow to keep a fangirlish squeal from piercing the calm air. Once that was all out, he tied up his hair and almost fell down the stairs while trying to skip down them. Bad idea, he decided, clutching the railing to keep from falling.
"Good morning, Naruto." He smiled to the blonde sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal.
"You just popped up like a friggin' daisy this morning, huh?" He grumbled in return, nipping at his adoptive father's fingers when they dared to near his box of CocoPuffs(don't own).
"Well, aren't you a ball of sunshine?" Iruka teased, mood not spoiled at all. Instead, from the cabinet he fetched a bowl and a box of Lucky Charms.
Naruto grunted, mumbling 'it's your fault' through his cereal.
"Close your mouth when you chew. You needed a partner."
"Why didn't you pair me up with Gaara then?"
"You told me not to favor you, so I handled this like a teacher." Iruka smiled across the table and popped a rainbow marshmallow in his mouth. He almost enjoyed watching Naruto's own words coming back to slap him in the face at the last second.
That was the end of the conversation, because Iruka had to go. So he dumped the remaining cereal in his bowl into the sink and headed out.
He was early, of course, to the teacher's lounge. The brunette got his card and checked himself in as well as Kakashi a few minutes later. He set the coffee machine and took a seat, peering at the clock.
He was /very/ early. A sound behind him was brought to Iruka's attention and he glanced over his shoulder just in time to see a very pale young man he'd never seen before. His skin was a sickly white, but his hair was dark, very much so, and the way the twin golden visionaries this man owned were eying him made him feel very smile. Like a mouse.
"Good morning." The man said softly, picking up a card from the stack and sticking it under the little time-piece to be stamped.
"You must be Orochimaru. The science teacher, right?" He asked with a friendly smile, trying not to stutter his words. Just what about this guy made him so afraid? Was it the tone or the unearthly beauty? 'Snake' his mind was screaming at him, that internal instinct every living thing possessed.
"That's right." Orochimaru replied, now sticking his card into the inbox of cards. His voice was rich and flowing. "And you are Umino Iruka, advanced English."
"How..." Iruka began, but the Science teacher had brushed out just as quietly as he had come. Iruka shuddered. Soon, Tsunade entered, followed closely by a white-haired Jiraiya.
"Wow, Iruka, you look healthy this morning!" Tsunade teased, coming over to fix his collar. Sometimes he reminded Iruka of the mother he never had the way she sometimes fussed over him. And the times after that she was just an older friend.
"Well, that's because I got a good night's rest." He replied with a small smile. "Do you think you can do me a favor?"
"I could definitely try," She said with a smile, "What did you have in mind?"
"Good morning, class." Iruka announced, smiling towards each and every one of them. It didn't concern him that most of what he recieved in return were scowls; someone even stuck out their tongue.
He spotted Naruto in the back, talking to Gaara in hushed whispers and gesturing to the back of Sasuke's head every now and then. There was a look about him Iruka knew, the gleam to the eyes that he himself must have carried at one time. It meant trouble.
"Today, we will be working on our group projects. Those of you that will do it over the weekend, you have free time, no homework. Also, I will now have those who are making up the test up front. That means you, Naruto." He spotted someone's hand going up near the back. "Yes, Kiba?"
"What is that stack of papers in your arms if they're not worksheets?" Asked the Inuzuka.
"Referrals." Iruka said cheerfully, setting them on a sleeping Shikamaru's desk. "Supplied by our very own Tsunade-sensei. Do not make a noise above a whisper, do not throw things, do not make any trouble whatsoever. Or I'll send you to the office with one of these. And please, don't leave your seat unless you have to."
The classroom was silent. In his teachings, Iruka was very strict, but he never sent a kid down on a referral before. Seeing his signature in green ink on a referral would make Saratobi flip out on any student. It was just that simple.
So it was quiet, mostly, except for necessary whispers. Iruka was mildly surprised as he observed the class, but he was not really concerned that he would most likely not have to give out referrals to this class.
"Sasuke." He called, looking expectantly over to a group of girls. Sure enough, the dark-haired teen pushed his way through the crowd of them and walked over to stand in front of his desk.
"Did Naruto ask you over today?" He asked, looking over towards his 'little brother'.
"No." The Uchiha replied, but he somehow managed to use no tone at all.
"Well, please do come over today. I'm sorry he's giving you a hard time. Do you need directions?"
"No, I'll just follow Naruto."
"Thank you, Uchiha-kun, see you later. You may return to your seat now."
Sasuke looked reluctant to return to his seat but slowly made his way back. Iruka looked up just in time to catch a blue-eyes glare from Naruto. He was getting those a lot lately.
"Thanks for not being late for once." Iruka smirked as he opened the door for the white-haired gym teacher.
"Well, it's a special occasion." Kakashi replied, ignoring Iruka's smirk. Iruka flinched at this, biting his lip. Just what was that supposed to mean?
"After all," The gym teacher continued, "I'm sure you want to get away from Naruto and Sasuke as soon as possible." Oh. Damn.
"Yes, well, they're settled here now, so I think it's safe to go now." Indeed the two boys had settled down in the living room, Sasuke muttering something every now and then while Naruto wrote it down.
"Off we go then." Kakashi smiled, then gestured to the black car in the street. Unlike Iruka's boxy van, this car was sleek and probably much faster. Sports car(boys and their toys... ). But it was dirty, and it was definitely not new.
"What kind of car is this?" Iruka asked as he slid into the passenger seat of the car. At least it was roomy on the inside.
"Trans-Am." The gym teacher replied, plopping down behind the steering wheel and starting the ignition. "They're rare now because they've stopped making them anymore. I've had this one since I got out of college."
"Did you wear that head-band over your eye when they handed you your driver's license?"
"Why yes, yes it was." He replied and started off down the street.
'Oh my gawd, he's talking to me. Me and him alone in a car? Oh my gawd oh my gawd oh my gawd.' Iruka thought to himself, knowing quite well he was being pathetic but he just couldn't help it... 'Oh, crap, don't get a hard-on now! Not a perv, not a perv...'
"Iruka-sensei, are you alright?" Kakashi asked, reaching up and flicking on the air conditioner at the sight of his companion's flushed face.
"Fine, fine." Iruka said quickly with an uneasy smile. "Where to first?"
"Bookstore." Kakashi smiled over towards him. "Anywhere you need to go near there?"
"Isn't there an electronics' store next to it?" Iruka asked hopefully.
"Radio Shack you mean? Yeah."
"Okay, I'll be over there for a little while."
"Gonna buy something for Naruto? After that food fight?"
"No way. I'm getting a new phone," The English teacher sighed.
"Ah." And just as he said this, Kakashi pulled into the small strip mall that contained their said stores. There was even a grocery store there, too. Iruka groaned in slight disappointment because all the stores nearby meant he was going home soon.
"But he got out all the same and headed towards Radio Shack while Kakashi trotted to the adult bookstore next door. Iruka wanted to follow, he really did. The fact Kakashi was a pervert didn't disturb him at all for some reason. The two were barely friends but he would still trust Kakashi to not ogle the little boys in the locker room. The reason he did not follow Kakashi was he didn't want to seem like or a lost puppy -or a fellow pervert.
It disturbed him mildly that when he entered the electronic's store, the shopkeeper took one look at him and grabbed the shop broom. Slowly Iruka walked over to a far corner ad began to look through all the different phone systems while keeping an eye on the old man as well. He'd had bad experiences with brooms as a child and those memories followed him when he was a grown man. He still had that sort of wariness.
He picked up the phone system he wanted and showed the clerk who, in turn, lowered his weapon and reached for the register. Iruka payed in obedient silence.
Seeing as Kakashi wasn't out yet, he walked over to the bookstore carrying his new phone system in the plastic bag given. He found the afore-mentioned male talking to Jiraiya, who was waving what looked like the newest issue of Icha Icha Paradise.
"I bet you that is what will happen." Jiraiya concluded, tapping the book.
"You're on," Kakashi said, "You couldn't have read this book already because it just came out. I'm telling you; I know this author would not let her die."
"Whatever you say," Jiraiya shrugged then tapped the book again, "But I bet you twenty dollars she does."
"Just hand over the money now, you know that won't happen."
"We'll see."
"Oh, hello, Iruka-sensei." Kakashi said, now just noticing the brunette. "Sorry for the wait. I just need to pay for this and we can leave." He traveled to the front desk.
"Easy money," Jiraiya chuckled. "Nice seeing you, Iruka."
Iruka just followed Kakashi, confused about the situation all together.
"Groceries. Right down the sidewalk." Kakashi announced, slipping his book into his pants pocket.
It was only in the middle of the grocery store that Iruka found he was frowning. And it wasn't him that noticed first, either. They'd been using one buggy, each of them throwing what they needed into one side of the cart so the space in it was divided evenly. Kakashi was pushing the buggy along when he just suddenly stopped.
"You seem sad. Have I bothered you?" Asked the gym teacher. It surprised Iruka so much that he took a step back. How did Kakashi know? Iruka was standing on his left side, which meant the head-band should have made him hidden.
"No, it's not you. It's just I..."
"You don't want to go home to Naruto and Sasuke so soon."
"Yes." Still no, but it was close enough to what he was thinking. There was a small pause before Kakashi began to walk again, dumping cups of instant ramen into his side of the cart when he passed that shelf.
"You like tea." Kakashi muttered as he went along. "There's a nice cafe down by the river that sells the best herbal tea I've ever had. We could stop by there and get a cup before you go home if you wanted to stall for more time."
"I uh... sure."
"For an English teacher, you are not very good with words." Jerk.
"Well, for a gym teacher you pile up on a lot of starch." He retorted.
"Hey, we haven't reached the vegetable aisle yet!" The other huffed, then laughed lightly with mirth when Iruka picked up several vegetables to signify they had.
"Well," Kakashi commented, picking up a box of pocky and a bag of chips as he did. "If this is all we need, let's pay for it and head for the cafe."
"Alright."
Even though it was seven o'clock in the afternoon, it was still light out. When Iruka stepped out of the car, there was a certain air to his walk. He was just... happy.
Kakashi insisted on carrying his groceries and -after a third try- Iruka let him, only carrying his Radio Shack bag. So they walked up the driveway -Kakashi at the lead- when he stopped suddenly for the second time that day and looked over his shoulder and gave Iruka a small 'Shh' sound.
"Wow, lookit them go." He whispered to Iruka, nodding towards the English teacher's van. "That Sasuke looks like he's trying to eat his face. Kinda hot..."
And sure enough, Uchiha Sasuke was sprawled out on the van, in pure daylight, and under him was a familiar mane of blonde hair. 'Eating face' was a bit of a crude term, but the way those two were making out was definitely rough.
'Okay,' Iruka thought. 'So they're getting along a leeetle better than I wanted. Uchiha Sasuke kissing Naruto on the car. Naruto is kissing back so atleast it's not rape. On my car. On MY CAR!'
The brunette twitched visibly and set his bag down calmly. Now, Iruka has a small rose bush in the front yard, and on weekends he waters them. After a painful experience, he's resorted to using a special shower nozzle at the end of the nose to avoid bees; much like that on a kitchen sink.
It couldn't have been in a better place now.
It lay on its side on the patch of lawn nearby and now Iruka picked it up, making his way carefully over towards the couple. They noticed him too late and by the time Sasuke let Naruto's mouth free he was thoroughly drenched.
"OFF! Off my car! Sasuke, I think it's time you go home. NOW." The English teacher shouted, shooting a stream of water into the boy's face for emphasis. He didn't need a second warning; Sasuke took off down the street like all hell was chasing behind him and not his teacher with a garden hose.
"Nice." Kakashi commented. "Though, it still makes you look like a mom."
"See this hose still in my hand?"
"See these groceries I'll use as a shield?"
Iruka snorted and rolled his eyes, turning to Naruto. "Don't go in your room. Wait for me in the living room. We're talking once Kakashi leaves."
The blonde, not quite over the shock of how everything had ended, walked aimlessly into the house. Iruka sighed and picked up his bag, leading Kakashi in.
"Thanks for the help." Iruka muttered as the groceries were set on a counter he gestured to.
"Anytime." Kakashi replied, smiling with his eye. "Hey, maybe we should trade numbers in case you ever need another one of these excuses?"
Iruka was afraid he was about to faint, though he masked it well enough, using the table as support to look like he was casually leaning on it.
"Sure, let me find some paper." He replied, drawing out his pen and clicking it open.
"Just write it on my hand." The other suggested, holding out his hand.
'Gods, I'm such a loser.' Iruka thought to himself as he gently lifted and held Kakashi's hand still with his own. He hoped his hands weren't sweating as he began to scribble the house number down on his crush's hand.
"You're going to look like one of those kids in school." Iruka teased, trying to lighten the heavy silence.
"You mean those ones that walk around with their girlfriend's number on their hands?" He returned smoothly, plucking the pen from Iruka's fingers when he was finished and grabbing his hand. He chuckled softly at his own joke, writing down his own number on Iruka's hand.
He couldn't help it; he blushed furiously and lowered his head to hide it. Thankfully, he didn't seem to notice. "Later." And he was gone just like that, the sound of the revving engine outside giving another sort of good-bye to him.
Naruto was waiting for him when he entered the living room and sat in a chair. "Naruto, what do you think I'm going to say?"
"You're not going to kick me out of the house, are you?" He asked, lowering his eyes. "It just all happened so fast, aniki, I couldn't help myself. Please don't put me back on the streets, I can change!" He was already tearing up. Iruka couldn't say he was too surprised by this response.
"Naruto, don't be ashamed." He said, getting up and walking over to kneel in front of the blue-eyed blonde. "I'm not going to kick you out, I'm just mad you decided to have your first -er- kiss on my car. You can like whoever you want, no matter what gender. I accept you for yourself, even if you do give me alot of grief." He wrapped his arms about the boy in a reassuring hug.
"Thanks aniki, big brother, but I think you've probably scared him away anyways."
(Flash-back to the Cafe)
"So," Kakashi leaned over the small table set between them. And it ended here, just that 'so', as if Iruka should be the one to pick up conversation. Said man was content with just staring at Kakashi's reflection against the window next to their table, which over-looked the river.
"Just what were you and Jiraiya talking about in that... adult bookstore?" He had trouble saying the last bit, just like he had trouble saying 'spooge' on the phone. His face showed it too, as his nose -and thus his scar- crinkled in mild embarrassment.
"Oh." Kakashi waved his hand slightly. "A new addition of Icha Icha Paradise came out. Originally, it was to be a three-book set but the author decided to make up a new short series. Jiraiya reads the series too, so we made a bet. He says the main woman character is going to die right in the middle of the book. Because /no/ romance novelist would do that to a main character, I'm going to get twenty dollars off that old man."
Iruka processed the situation and then lowered his head, shoulders quivering.
"What's so funny?" Kakashi asked, lowering his scarf and sipping his tea, but Iruka didn't see.
"Haven't you ever listened to anything Tsunade says?" Iruka asked looking up just as Kakashi lifted his scarf back over his nose. Behind him, some teenage girl was ogling the white-haired man.
"Nope. I've learned to tune her out." He replied in turn. "Why?"
"Kakashi-sensei, Jiraiya is the /author/ of Icha Icha Paradise. If you'd listen to Tsunade for five minutes you would know that. She can't keep him out of any conversation."
"He wouldn't shut up about her." There was that moment of awkward silence. "Do you mean I've just lost twenty dollars."
"That's exactly what I mean." Iruka couldn't help but chuckle at the expression the eye emitted then he couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy as well.
"Ah, well," Kakashi muttered, looking out of the window now. "That would explain why he's won all the other bets on that book." He turned to look across at the brunette teacher then, eye smiling. "I like you, Iruka."
That's it for this chapter! You don't get to see the next part until I get over 105 reviews, which shouldn't be a problem. Okay, here is where we hit 100 though and there is rules for this kiriban. No spamming. Review only once please, no one could want a one-shot from me that much. One review per chapter. Good luck.
