Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

AFTERMATH

Stars were still all around. Chakotay stood before the window in his quarters and stared vacantly into the vastness of space. It was a black void. Just like his soul. How long it had been since Kathryn had died, he didn't know. Days, perhaps. Hours. Time was all of a sudden meaningless and passed like both a second and an eternity.

The door chime sounded, but Chakotay was deaf to it. He was lost in a world of his own. A world of endless night and bitter cold.

"Chakotay..."

The voice was B'Elanna's. It sounded far away, like someone speaking in a dream.

"Chakotay..."

He turned in the direction of it now and found B'Elanna standing beside him.

"I don't mean to intrude," she said quietly. "I was just concerned. You've been in here for almost two days."

The words hardly registered with Chakotay. Two days, a week. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Why?" he asked tearfully. "Why did she have to die?"

"I don't know," B'Elanna answered.

"I can't go on without her. Her heart was my heart. If it no longer beats, then I am dead too."

"You have too, Chakotay," B'Elanna said, putting her hand on his arm. "You have to ... for the babies. They need you."

"I can't even look at them," he said, turning away from her. "I can't look at anything that reminds me of her. And yet I can think of nothing but her. I can see nothing but her. But all I can see is her lying on that bed in sickbay, her body still and cold. Every time I close my eyes I see it. And I don't want too. I don't want to think of her that way." He paused. "And yet if I don't, if I see her laughing or talking or walking around, I can't believe that she's gone. I think she's still here, think that she'll walk into the room any moment and everything will be like before. And if I think that ... that she's still here, it just kills me when I remember that she's gone."

"I'm so sorry," B'Elanna said. "I'm so sorry."

"I just want it all to go away," he said. "Just want her back here with us..."

He could say no more as tears choked him and all B'Elanna could do was draw him close and hold him tight.


The sun was shining. It was a glorious day. All around was luscious green grass, blowing in a soft southern breeze, and it stretched far into a horizon of white light. Chakotay raised his hand to shelter his eyes from the dazzle.

"Remember this place?"

Chakotay turned around at the sound of Kathryn's voice and saw her standing before him. She was wearing a red dress, a dress he had seen her in before, a long time ago, and her long hair was neatly pulled back from her face.

"Kathryn..."

"It's the place you first told me that you loved me. "She looked up at the sky. "It's the place I first knew I loved you." She looked around now. "Such a beautiful place. A place I have visited a million times in my dreams." She looked back at him and smiled a wonderful smile. It faded as she saw the pain in his eyes.

"But you look so sad. There's so much pain in your eyes."

Chakotay stepped closer. "Why did you leave me, Kathryn?"

"I'll never leave you," she answered. "I'll always be with you. We're a part of each other. Your heart is my heart. My heart is yours. I'm not dead. My heart beats inside you. I'll always live there. And I'll always live on in our children. Our darling, precious children. Take care of them, Chakotay. Love them like you've always loved me and then I know they'll have all the love they could ever need. And when you think of me, don't be sad. Remember the love we shared, the love we made, the love that created life. And whenever you need me, I'll be here. I'll always be here."

Chakotay reached out and took her in his arms, holding her close. Kathryn lay her cheek next to his and held him in return. As her arms closed around him, the terrible ache in Chakotay's heart began to subside.

Chakotay lay in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. Remnants of tears stained his cheeks and he held a pillow to his chest. He had awoken holding it, had awoken holding Kathryn. And he didn't want to let her go.

I'll always be with you. Her words drifted back to him, echoing softly. My heart beats inside you. I'll always live there. And I'll always live on in our children. Our darling, precious children. Take care of them...

Chakotay sat up and wiped away his tears. He believed that the spirits of the dead could talk with a person in a vision or in a dream, and he believed that Kathryn had been talking to him then. She was worried about him, about the babies, worried that he was neglecting them. But he would take care of them. He would love them with all that he was and all that he could be. Just as he had always loved Kathryn. And he would make sure they knew what a wonderful woman their mother was and that they grew up to love her.

He got out of bed, put on his uniform, and left for sickbay.


Sickbay was deserted when Chakotay arrived there. The lights were low and an eerie silence hung in the air. The bed where Kathryn had lay was empty now, no sign she had ever been there. Chakotay stared at it for a few moments and then made his way over to his son and daughter lying in two incubators in the distance. As he drew nearer, he could see them more clearly, and a million emotions stirred in his heart at the sight of their tiny forms. Inside the first incubator, lying on a pink heated blanket, was a perfect little girl with a mop of black hair. Her eyes were closed and her arms were spread to the side, her hands clenched in fists. Wires and tubes were attached to her body, and a layer of soft hair covered her delicate skin. Chakotay gazed at her for a long time before moving to the next incubator and looking at his son. He was lying on a blue heated blanket and was a little longer and fatter, but his head of black fluffy hair was still smaller than an orange.

The Doctor emerged from his office and watched Chakotay a while before walking over to him.

"Amazing, aren't they?"

Chakotay turned to the Doctor. "They will be alright, won't they?"

"They're going to be just fine. Silvia's 3lb 1oz and Silvesta's 3lb 8ozs. Those are good weights, especially for twins. They're just needing a little help to breathe at the moment because of the immaturity of their lungs. But in about ten to fourteen days, they'll be able to breathe on their own." He gave a sad smile. "Then you'll be able to give them a cuddle."

Chakotay gazed at the babies and a tear ran down his cheek. "You heard the Doctor," he said quietly. "Everything will be alright. And just remember that I love you both very much and am going to take care of you always."


"I know this isn't a good time," Tom said, entering Chakotay's quarters the following afternoon, "but there'll never be a good time. We've really got to discuss the captain's memorial service."

Chakotay turned away from him and wandered over to the window.

"I want a traditional captain's service. It's what she would have wanted. I want no compromises. She deserves the best that we can give." Tears flooded his eyes. "But I can't, Tom ... Will you?"

Tom went over to him and lay his hand on Chakotay's shoulder. "Of course. I'll take care of everything. You don't have to do a thing."

Chakotay turned to him now. "And thank you."

"What for?"

"For making her look so beautiful. For taking away the wounds that took her life."

Tom fought the tears and squeezed Chakotay's arm. "The least I could do."

Chakotay turned again to the window and gazed out. Tom looked at him pitifully. He looked exhausted, dishevelled, and unshaved hair covered his cheeks.

"Have you had something to eat?"

"I had some scambled eggs this morning," Chakotay replied.

"You need more than that. Let me replicate you something..."

"I'm prefectly capable of replicating my own food," Chakotay cried, turning to him. "I just want to be left alone. Please."

"Alright" Tom said quietly. "But don't hesitate to call me if there's anything I can do. Okay?"

Chakotay nodded and Tom put his hand to Chakotay's arm again and then left.

Alone again, Chakotay wandered from the window into the nursery. It was so quiet there. So still and quiet. Chakotay stood in the middle of the room and looked around. It was such a happy room. So bright and cheerful. But it felt empty now. Cold. Haunted. The entire quarters seemed haunted. The whole ship. Kathryn's ghost was everywhere. He could see her now, wiping her brow and laughing as she painted Little Bo Peep next to the window.

The door chime sounded and Chakotay slowly made his way into the living room.

"Come in," he cried, his voice sharper than he intended.

Arlei came in. She was pale and dark shadows circled her violet eyes.

"I know you must want to be alone," she said. "But there's something I think I should share with you."

"Not now, Arlei," he said, wiping his brow. "I don't want the details right now..."

"No," she said. "It's not about what happened. I don't want to think about that either. Not that I can think of anything else." Tears filled her eyes and she fought to hold them back. "No, it's about what to do now. Something that might save the captain."

Chakotay stilled at this and then looked up at her. "What do you mean save her?"

"Bring her back to life."

Chakotay walked away from her and returned to the window. "She's dead, Arlei. There's nothing we can do."

"I think there is. If you'll only listen..."

"To what? That we go back in time and try and save her? We don't have that kind of technology."

"I know that. It isn't what I mean at all. There's a legend ... amongst my people. It's to do with the empire and a place called Elissia. It was said to be a place of miracles that could revive the dead and the dying. It was said to be a pool of pure water and light dwelling in a holy mountain on the ninth planet of the eighth sun. We have to be close to it."

Chakotay turned to her slowly. "A place of miracles?"

She nodded. "People from all over the empire would go there in the hope of being healed. Over the centuries, many tales were told, some fantastical, about people on the verge of death being brought back to life, even of the dead coming to life again. I know it sounds unbelievable, but miracles that happened there are well documented. How they happened, no one has ever known. There have been many theories as there are many faiths amongst my people. Some say it was the dwelling place of Morvera, the goddess of life. Others that it was created by the one supreme god of the universe. Others that it was a gift from the gods or a portal to the spiritual realm where body could be reunited with spirit. Those of no faith have either dismissed the tales and documents as fabrication, or have said there was some unknown healing properties within the water and light. Some even believe it was the gateway to another galaxy where superior beings would heal the wounded, cure the sick, and give life to the dead."

"I'm a spiritual man," Chakotay said quietly. "I believe such miracles are possible. But do you think this place still exists?"

"I think there's a chance. It may have been destroyed during the war with the Juva, but there's a chance that it wasn't. The Juva caused most of the devstation by destroying our greatest cities and infecting our people with a terrible disease. And it's unlikely a species would destroy a place that could revive the dying and cure the sick. They would more likely capture it and use it for themselves."

Chakotay considered. "But if a species had access to such a place of miracles, how could they become extinct?"

"According to legend, a person can only be healed by the water once in a lifetime. If they go in a second time, they will revert to what they were before they went in the first. If they go in a third time, they will die. If my history is correct, the Juva were wiped out by the same disease they infected our people with. Elissia wouldn't have been able to protect them against an epidemic. Not in the long term." She paused. "Not one of the eight solar systems we've explored so far has a ninth planet that is m-class, but we still have two solar systems left to explore. I think we should look for it. I think we should look for it and, if we find it, take the captain there."

A glimmer, just a glimmer, of new found hope shone in Chakotay's eyes. "I agree. We once had an Ocampa aboard called Kes. She was severely injured when she entered a holy shrine on a planet we were visiting. The Doctor tried to heal her, but nothing worked. He couldn't wake her up. The people believed that ancestral spirits controlled the shrine and that only they could give life back to Kes. The Captain took Kes into the shrine and she did wake up. It may have been the ancestral spirits, or it may have been some unknown property within the shrine, but whatever it was, it worked. Kes was healed." He hit his commbadge. "Chakotay to all senior staff. Report to the briefing room immediately."


The senior staff glanced at each other in concern as Chakotay told them the legend of Elissia and his resolution to find it and take the captain there. For a long moment after he had finished, everyone was uncomfortably silent and all eyes seemed to shift to B'Elanna, who now routinely joined all staff meetings. Next to Kathryn, she had always been the person closest to Chakotay, and she knew that everyone was waiting for her to put into words what was on their minds.

"It's only a legend, Chakotay," she said at last. "The chances of it being true, the chances of there even being such a planet, must be almost non existent."

"But not impossible," Chakotay answered. "It's a famous legend in Arlei's culture. There has to be some truth to it."

"Some truth, perhaps," B'Elanna answered. "But you know as well as I do how legends are distorted over the years, almost beyond recognition. If this Elissia does exist, we're probably talking about no more than a regular spring that dried up centuries ago."

"Regular springs don't revive the dead," Chakotay said.

"No they don't," B'Elanna replied. She then bit her lip in regret at her bluntness. "But they may have helped heal ulcers and flesh wounds. We're talking about a civilization that existed thousands of years ago. The people who went to this pool may only have bathed two or three times a year. Washing their wounds would help them heal."

"They were space faring people," Chakotay argued. "Of course they bathed. What happened in that place defied their knowledge and understanding. To people of all faiths, even to those of none, it was a place of miracles."

"But do they happen, Chakotay? Do miracles really happen?"

"Yes," he answered. "They happen all the time. Our survival in the Delta Quadrant was a miracle. Our deliverance from the Voril was a miracle. Every child born is a miracle. And don't forget what happened to Kes. What happened to her was a miracle too."

"Kes was only dying because she went into the shrine in the first place. There was nothing miraculous about it. Whatever it did to her, it probably undid."

"B'Elanna's right," Tom said, joining the discussion at last. "A holy place that can revive the dead? Come on, Chakotay. Such things belong to fairy stories."

"A holy place is just one theory. There are others."

"Like a gateway to another galaxy or the dwelling place of a goddess." He ran his hand through his hair. "I understand how much you want this to be true, Chakotay, and can't imagine what you're going through. But listen to your head on this, not your heart."

"I'm listening to both," he said. "And both are telling me the same thing. We need to find this planet. And while you may not believe in miracles, or gods and goddesses, just remember that some of us do!"

Tom buried his head in his hands. "I wasn't meaning to be disparaging of your culture, Chakotay. I know you're a spiritual man. But surely even you can see how unlikely this is."

"It's the most documented and most popular of all legends," Arlei said. "Even it's location is documented."

"Ninth planet of such and such a solar system," Tom said. "How do we even know this is the region the legend was referring too? There must be thousands of solar systems in the galaxy."

"But ten solar systems very close together with a wormhole nearby leading to the region of the Delta Quadrant where my people dwell? This has to be the place. And while the remains we found don't prove anything, they prove that there was once a civilization in this solar system."

Seven now spoke. "We have explored eight of these solar systems and none contained an m-class ninth planet."

"No, but there are two solar systems left to explore."

"And we intend to explore them," Tom said. "If this Elissia really does exist, then we'll find it."

"Exactly," Chakotay cried. "So what is the problem?"

"We're just concerned," B'Elanna said. "Concerned that you're escaping to a fantasy because you can't accept reality."

"Then your concern is unwarranted," Chakotay replied, getting to his feet. "I'm well aware of what is real. I'm well aware that the captain is lying lifeless and cold in the morgue from a brain injury the Doctor can't cure. I'm well aware that I'll probably never hear her voice again or see her smile. And I'm well aware that our babies will probably never so much as get to meet their mother. I'm aware of it every moment of every second and the pain is killing me. But there's a chance, just a chance, that Elissia may exist, and I want us to search for it. I want us to go to a region of space between the two solar systems and scan them both. If one of them has an m-class ninth planet, then I want us to go there." He got to his feet. "And it's no longer open for discussion. Seven, plot us a course to a region where we can get intense scans of both solar systems. B'Elanna, I want a report on the status of Engineering within an hour. We're going in search of Elissia as soon as possible." He turned to the window. "Dismissed."

At that, everyone left the room, concern on all their faces. Only Tuvok remained. When the doors closed behind the last officer, Tuvok went over to his First Officer.

"For what my opinion is worth, I believe you are correct in pursuing this possibility. If the Captain was still with us, she would pursue it also." He paused. "The merits of my logic have been brought into question of late, with good reason. But I do not believe my logic was flawed, only my actions. I should have had faith in the Captain. I undermined her authority and questioned her judgment, and for that I will always bear regret." He paused again. "But I shall not forget her words to me. She said that logic surrenders, but love never gives up. And the wisdom of those words are evident now. Lieutenant Torres and Paris believe a place of healing waters is illogical and therefore would not pursue a search for Elissia. But your love for the Captain gives you faith and hope that what at first appears to be untrue is true. And the existence of such a place is not impossible. And what is not impossible, is therefore possible. And it is only logical to pursue a possibility. You have my full support, Commander."

Chakotay turned to the Vulcan now and put his hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, Tuvok."


The bridge was deserted when Chakotay arrived there. He walked slowly from the turbo lift to where he and Kathryn had sat side by side for years, and for the longest time he just stared at her vacant chair. Tears welled in his eyes as he saw a ghost of Kathryn sitting there, her hair swept up in a bun, smiling at him and then laughing. As he took his seat he could hear her talk.

Is there a different animal guide for everyone?

Actually yes.

Let me guess. Yours is a bear.

Why do you say that?

You strike me as the bear type...

The vision and voices faded now and he saw an older Kathryn sitting there, her hair in a bob, and her hand extended to him.

Chakotay looked away and clenched his fists in an attempt to contain his grief and anger. It was so unfair. Kathryn had risked her life so many times, had been in extreme danger so many times, but had always, always, survived. It didn't seem fair that a computer virus could claim her life.

"Engineering report."

Chakotay looked up and found B'Elanna looking down at him.

"Thank you," he said, taking the padd.

"It isn't good," she said. "The place was virtually gutted. We're going to have to build it up from scratch. It will take some time."

"How long?"

"A week, perhaps. A month. It depends how many people we have on the job. But as we won't be able to go anywhere until repairs are complete, I suggest having every crew member working on it. That way it'll be done faster."

Chakotay got to his feet. "This virus," he asked, "has it definitely gone?"

"Without a doubt. We've run a full system search and there's no trace of it."

Chakotay clenched his fist again, anger once more surfacing."What I don't understand is how it was overlooked in the first place. Why didn't someone detect it? We haven't been in contact with any species for weeks! There was plenty of time!"

"It had disguised itself as one of our files. Our regular virus detection program wouldn't have picked it up. To pick it up, we would have had to run a full diagnostic on every single program to see if there were more files in existence than there should have been. That's hardly ever done. We rely on the computer to detect viruses. It usually does."

"Usually isn't good enough, B'Elanna! It's damn well not good enough! If that virus had been detected before it started messing with our systems, Kathryn would still be alive!"

"It wouldn't have made any difference. It was programmed to cause an explosion if it was accessed."

"But we may have been able to delete it without accessing it!"

Tears welled in B'Elanna's eyes. "It's not my fault, Chakotay. It wasn't my job!"

Chakotay buried his head in his hands. "I'm not saying it's your fault, B'Elanna. I'm just saying all this shouldn't have happened. It was someone's job to find that virus and destroy it before it destroyed us. If Kathryn hadn't given the order to eject the warp core..."

"I know," B'Elanna said quietly. Voyager would have been obliterated.

Chakotay looked up. "Any more ideas where this virus came from?"

"We'll never know. But it's most likely to have been planted by the Voril. They had the perfect opportunity to do it when we were contesting with them for Roxa and Vixi."

Chakotay leant against the bar dividing the bridge, his head lowered. "And Tuvok's been in the brig. As Chief of Security, viruses were his domain."

B'Elanna saw tears flood Chakotay's eyes and she put her hand on his shoulder as a small gesture of comfort.

At the feel of it, Chakotay drew away from her.

"I never want this to happen again," he said. "I want a program devised that will perform a file count on every single program, every single day, and alert us of any extraneous files that appear."

"I'll get someone to work on it," B'Elanna said.

"And you'll tell no one that it was probably the Voril. Tell Arlei, Seven, and Tuvok that they are to be silent too. If anyone asks, say it was in the system for months. I don't want Roxa and Vixi to have to deal with it. They've been through enough."

"Understood," she said.

Chakotay returned to the bar, and B'Elanna looked at him sadly for a moment before leaving the bridge.


Engineering was a wreck. Repairs hadn't even started yet. Crewmembers were still clearing away debris. Chakotay walked through the clutter, his anger and frustration growing.

"Why the hell is all this debris still here?"

Lieutenant Carter approached him. "With everything that's happened, Sir, clearing has been progressing slowly. Everyone's upset."

Chakotay scoffed. "Mourning for the captain is over! There's a way we may be able to save her and we're going to do our damnedest to try." He picked up a piece of debris and then threw it across the floor as he spoke. "But we won't get far while this place is in ruins! I want every available crewmember working on this immediately. Understand?"

"But, Sir!"

"Immediately!"

From the corner of his eye, Chakotay saw a rainbow of colors and turned to it. Flowers of all kinds lay on pieces of debris, some in bunches, some in wreaths. Chakotay walked towards them.

"What's this?"

Carter shifted uncomfortably. "That's where the captain was found, Sir. Arlei put some flowers there. Others have too."

"I want them removed," Chakotay replied. "I want every last one removed!"

The colors all merged together as tears flooded his eyes and he felt as though his chest was constricting. He had to look away, had to escape the place where Kathryn had died. Without another word, he fled from Engineering. Outside, in a lonely corridor, he leant against the wall and tried to reclaim his breath.


"Brandy."

The replicator in Chakotay's quarters responded. Specify quantity.

"Just a bottle of brandy. Any damn bottle of brandy!"

Small or large.

"Large. A large bottle of brandy!"

A bottle materialized and Chakotay picked it up. He was just about to open it and take a drink, when he heard soft sobs coming from the bedroom. He turned around and found that the doors were open. He put down the bottle and walked towards the room slowly. No one was supposed to be in his quarters. Not even Petal as she was with Naomi.

When he reached the doorway, Chakotay saw it was Vixi. She was lying on the bed, weeping, and clutching Kathryn's nightdress to her body. At the sight of the child's pain, Chakotay's anger began to subside. For a moment he felt ashamed, ashamed that he'd been acting as though he had the monopoly on grief. Everyone loved Kathryn, and every one was missing her.

He went over to the bed and sat on it. How Vixi had got into his quarters, he didn't know. Perhaps he had left the doors open or unlocked when he left. Anything was possible. His mind was a pit of confusion. As he reached out to stroke the child's hair, Vixi raised herself into his arms and held onto him tight.


Chakotay held Vixi in his arms as he rang the door chime on Roxa's quarters. In moments, the doors opened and Roxa appeared. Her face was tear stained and her eyes red from crying.

"I found this little one in my quarters," Chakotay said.

The woman's eyes widened in fear. "I'm sorry, Sir," she said, "I'm so sorry. Please don't hurt her. We never use it. Would never use it to cause harm. Please..."

Chakotay was confused now. "Use what?"

"Our powers." The woman then gasped as she realized Chakotay hadn't known what she was talking about. "She didn't, did she?"

"I probably left my quarters unlocked," he said. He put Vixi to her feet and put his hand on Roxa's shoulder. "But I think we need to talk. Don't you?"

Roxa nodded and then stepped aside. "Come in."

Chakotay went in and Roxa gestured to a chair. "Please, sit."

Chakotay sat and Roxa sat opposite him. Vixi watched from the doorway, her little body trembling from confusion and fear.

"We've always had it," Roxa said. "The power. I don't know what else to call it. It's what made us so frightening to our people. They didn't have it. Only us Karik. Our different apearance they could tolerate, in the hope it meant superior intelligence, and something they tried to correct. Every batch of babies had different coloring. But the power frightened them. They didn't know what they had created."

Chakotay questioned. "What kind of power?"

Roxa turned to her daughter. "Show him, Vixi."

"I can't, Mama," she wept. "I can't..."

Chakotay turned to her. "I'd like to see what you can do."

Vixi hesitated, and then stepped out of the shadows. She walked over to the table and then glanced at her mother. The woman gave a reassuring nod and Vixi focussed all her attention on a cup on the table. The cup shook slightly, and then lifted off the table for a second before crashing down as the child lost concentration.

"All I can do, Mama," she wept.

"And it was very impressive," Chakotay said kindly. "Well done." He then turned to Roxa. "It's called telekinesis... the ability to move objects by thought alone."

Roxa stared at him in surprise. "Then you know of this?"

Chakotay nodded. "Different species have different abilities. Some species are telepathic, like Vulcans and Ocampas, and they can read each others thoughts. Humans in general don't have psychic abilities, but for centuries, telekinesis, telepathy and other psychic abilities have been reported amongst my species."

Roxa lowered her eyes. "Do you ... do you destroy such individuals?"

"Not at all. We respect and celebrate all differences. You and Vixi don't have to hide what you are here."

Roxa looked up at him. "Thank you, Sir."

Chakotay then got to his feet. "Well, I won't keep you any longer."

Roxa got up too and bridged the gap between them. "It was good of you to bring Vixi to me. I'm sorry she went into your quarters uninvited. It won't happen again."

"It's alright," Chakotay said. "She just wanted to be close to Kathryn. I understand." He paused as tears once again threatened to overwhelm him. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

"Of course, Commander," she replied, and she and Vixi watched as he left their quarters.


The warp core lay in tact on the floor in holodeck two. Chakotay surveyed it with Seven, checking to see if there was any damage.

"It appears to be in perfect condition," Seven said.

The former drone was pale, and, despite her calm exterior, Chakotay knew that she was grieving too. Kathryn had always been many things to her. A mentor, a friend, sometimes a mother. Just like she had been to all the crew.

"Once seventy percent of repairs are complete," she continued, "we can return it to Engineering."

Chakotay looked up at the core and wished that it was in action already, that they were already traveling at warp speed to find Elissia.

"Well," Seven said, unsure what to do or what to say now that her task was complete. "I had better return to Engineering and help with repairs."

Chakotay didn't answer, and Seven didn't wait for him to do so.

As she left, Chakotay's eyes wandered away from the warp core to the empty space around him. He was alone. Completely alone.

"Computer," he said. "Lock the doors. Deny access."

Access denied.

"Run program JC Log Cabin 2377."

Instantly, he found himself inside the log cabin that had occupied a special place in both his and Kathryn's heart. A copper fire burnt in the hearth, and outside the window, soft snow fell against a black sky.

"Computer," Chakotay said. "Install character Kathryn Janeway."

Within seconds, a holographic Kathryn materialized before him. She was dressed in her Starfleet uniform, her hair in a bob, and she stared vacantly ahead, standing perfectly still.

Identify desired persona for Kathryn Janeway.

Chakotay didn't respond. He just bridged the gap between himself and the hologram and brushed his fingers against her cheek.

I repeat. Identify desired persona for Kathryn Janeway.

Tearfully, Chakotay turned away from the hologram. "End program," he cried. "End program."

Kathryn and the log cabin instantly vanished. Chakotay fell to his knees and wept softly. It had been so tempting. So tempting to recreate Kathryn and everything he had shared with her. But he couldn't do it. It would have been wrong, so wrong, and nothing but a hollow illusion, a cheap imitation, and would have betrayed her and their love and everything they had been together.


The morgue was deathly quiet. Deathly cold. Chakotay stood over Kathryn's body and gazed tearfully at his wife. Her hair streamed over the white robe she was wearing and her face was white, her lips blue. The ring he had given her on their wedding day was still on her finger and her hands were folded over her now thin waist. Even in death she was so beautiful. Chakotay kissed a red rose he held in his hand and lay it between her hands, resting it on her chest. He then brushed his fingers against her face as a silent tear ran down his cheek.

"We'll find Elissia," he whispered. "I promise you we'll find it."

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY ONE