It feels like it has been forever since I updated… Oh, that's because it has been! So sorry, its been a weird month. Anywho, here it is:
Part V: Separation Anxiety
Chapter 16
The rec room came back into focus, and the black frame of my vision minimized, then disappeared. The necklace now lay in the Pharaoh's lap, still across his open palms. I looked up into his face. He flinched, just noticeably, but did not look away.
I sat back and looked out the window. Taking a deep breath, I considered my emotions. I had been cheated on; probably dumped, in truth. Yet I could not seem to feel properly upset by this. My concern, my emotions, were too caught up in the horror of what the Spirit had done to Yugi, and what he had done with Yugi's body. I looked back at those crimson eyes and they seemed to be searching me. Had he mastered the Millennium Rod as well? Could he read or control minds? I pushed this aside for now. I picked one thought to focus on, and voiced it.
"How will you tell Yugi? What will you tell him? …Two weeks, Pharaoh! You left him alone, in the dark, for two weeks!"
He seemed not to hear my questions, but rather the answer to whatever he sought in me. He nodded, seeming pleased with what he saw.
"You were meant for each other, I think. Destined to be together, just as Seth and I were thousands of years ago."
I sat forward, not sure which part of that to respond to first. "You… and Seth? You remember your past?"
"No, not really, not completely. I saw… your vision. You never told us of that vision, Seto."
I ignored the reproof; as if he was in the position to offer it. I knew he was distracting me, but this was a question I wanted an answer to. "Seth… is he me? I know I hardly believe in all that, but… the vision, us together… and happy. I thought it meant that you and I were… and that Yugi, well, that Yugi was just… a bonus."
The Pharaoh smiled, but his eyes seemed sad. "I fear I was the 'bonus.'" He paused, then spoke again, his voice taking on an instructive tone. "Time moves in a spiral. As the path comes around again," he moved his hand in a spiral motion, starting at his lap, and rising to eye level, "similar events take place, similar souls are born. It was I, who you saw in your vision. But the eyes through which you saw it, those were not yours; they were my High Priest Seth's. You and he are not the same. You are this turn of history's version of him, just as Yugi is mine. Because of who Yugi is, he was able to solve the puzzle, and host my soul. But we are not the same person."
Again the Pharaoh paused, and looked away, eyes unfocused. He turned back a moment later, and continued. "Though we tried to make it so, to blend our two halves to form one whole, it could not be, because Yugi is whole already, in and of himself. It is I who am less than whole, with no body and few memories. I was the extra, the one who did not belong. You and Yugi are meant to be, without me." The Pharaoh looked at me with the full intensity he possessed. "You may not have admitted this to yourself, but you know that it is true."
I did not deny or confirm this with either my voice or my body. I would have to consider my feelings later. It did not seem as though I was being given a choice anyway. I held the Pharaoh's intense gaze for a few more moments, then dropped my eyes to my hands.
"You know," I stated, careful to keep my voice almost emotionless, just a touch of wonder slipping through my control, "I've never been dumped before."
Pharaoh smiled, and, to my amazement, reached up and touched my face. Leaning up to half stand, half kneel on the couch beside me, he captured my lips with his own. He pushed into my mouth aggressively. In my surprise I made no move to pull away, or take control of the kiss. There was no confusion that this was about love, or regret. It just, was. Pharaoh broke the kiss and stood, smirking. He looked at the couch beside me, and his smile softened.
"I very much doubt you will ever be dumped again."
I followed his gaze… and nearly jumped out of my skin. There on the couch, still sleeping, tear tracks down his cheeks, was Yugi. I looked back up at the Pharaoh, then down at Yugi. I ventured a hand to Yugi's foot. It was solid.
"I'm real, too." The Pharaoh stated before I could ask.
"But… how?"
"I… couldn't, with Marik. Not with Yugi's body. I realized that, and was turning to leave… There was a thump beside me. There he was, on the floor. I'm afraid he still has quite the bruise on his hip. I was more careful after that."
"But you were not both here before. Unless you are controlling my mind. Are you!"
"No, I could never do that to you. I know this is poor timing, but I will always love you Seto, and be grateful to you for loving, accepting and including me. And for believing in me. I know how hard that was for you. And you are Yugi's beloved, and he is mine."
He looked sadly back at the sleeping figure. "If he can ever forgive me, I hope to still be in your lives…" He shook his head slightly, bringing himself back to the present. "In any case, this body seems real enough, but it's magic, and I can still bond with Yugi as well. That is how we got home."
I didn't ask why he hadn't called for me to send the jet, nor did I think too deeply about how magic could make a body. I nodded. We were silent for some time. I gazed back at Yugi, my hand coming to rest possessively on his leg. I watched his chest rise and fall, listened as he snored softly, his breathing slightly labored by his cry-swollen airways. His eyes danced under his eyelids. He was dreaming… or--?
"Pharaoh! You haven't… he isn't… Tell me he is only sleeping!"
The Pharaoh was still standing in front of me, his face and body language passive. He registered surprise at my outburst with only a slight widening of his eyes. "He is asleep. Nothing more. I have done nothing to influence that. Not today… He is exhausted from his experience. I don't think he slept much, or well, the past two weeks. He feels safe, now, with you, to sleep."
"Hn." I could feel my face stiffen with anger. The shock had worn off, and now, I was angry. I turned away from the Pharaoh, and picked up Yugi, laying him across my lap as he continued to sleep. The Pharaoh still stood, maybe waiting for me to say something more. I did not care. Yelling more would only disturb Yugi, and it really wasn't my style.
I stroked Yugi's arm, and down his leg, soothing myself more than him, though maybe he felt it in his sleep. I heard the Pharaoh sigh, and move to sit on a nearby chair. I risked a glance at him. His confident, commanding façade dropped as he looked down at his hands.
I watched him flex his hands, turning them over, frowning as he intensely glared at them. Whether it was because of my recent trip in his brain, or because the Pharaoh and I were more alike than I had realized before, I could tell what he was thinking. He had sacrificed Yugi for things that he wanted. For a chance at love, and his past, and at a new start with his own body. I could see him hating himself for the choices he had made. Were they wrong? Certainly traumatizing Yugi was, when he could have been honest. But his actions had opened up a different future for Yugi, also.
Watching Yami hate himself, I could not hate his new body, or his new knowledge. I found my own anger slip quietly out of me. I knew that he would be harder on himself than anyone else could be. My energy was better spent elsewhere.
Though I was no longer angry, I did not feel any need to offer comfort to… 'the Pharaoh.' I suddenly remembered his lack of name. It seemed ridiculously odd now. It had not mattered when I did not believe in him, and then I had been too busy trying to avoid the awkwardness of his lack of interest in the relationship to bring it up. But now… he needed a name. I had already tolerated far too much nonconformity from the Spirit as it was.
I looked back at my own hand where it stroked Yugi, as it had done so many times these past months. Without looking up I asked, "Did you learn your name?"
"What?" I felt the Pharaoh look up from his hands, and could hear the shock in his voice.
"Now that you have a body, it follows that you should have a name." I paused and looked at him. "Unless you thought you would introduce yourself as 'The Pharaoh'." My voice did not hide what I thought of this idea.
Yami still looked surprised. "No?"
"Hn. I you are going to stick around and work things out with Yugi, you will need a real name. I will not have a friend who calls himself by a pompous, obsolete title."
Said Pharaoh gaped at me, his eyes nearly as big as Yugi's. His mouth slowly closed, corners turning up, uncertain at first, then more strongly into a grateful smile. Hn. Comfort – Kaiba style.
I returned my attention to Yugi, but after a few minutes added, "The Spirit of the Ring calls himself Bakura—"
"No!" He cut me off. "I mean, I know he uses that name but I do not understand why. I would proudly share Yugi's family name if he allows it, but I want a familiar name of my own."
I bristled at being interrupted. "Had you let me finish, you would know that it is not even an option to consider following suit."
The Pharaoh raised his eyebrows. "Isn't that really between Yugi and me?"
I leveled my gaze at him. "No." I needed him to understand, in no uncertain terms, that he was no longer the closest male in Yugi's life. He was no longer needed as the protector. Yugi had two perfectly good feet of his own to stand on, and anything he couldn't handle alone, we, Yugi and I, would face together. The Pharaoh's support would be welcomed now as any friend's; no more than that. He owed it to us for failing, and he owed it to himself and his new lover, as well.
He continued to regard me, reassessing me as he had done earlier. Then he nodded, accepting his dismissal as 'other half' and 'body guard' with more grace than I had imagined. He let the silence lapse, and I did not disturb it. Finally, he spoke.
"Thank you for babysitting the Tomb Robber. I trust it was uneventful?"
I raised a brow at the change of subject, but answered. "Yes, Ryou went in alone, I waited for him outside. I suppose he let the Spirit, Bakura, take over his body, but there was no escape attempt." I considered keeping the next thought to myself, but I knew it did have some relevance as more that just gossip.
"I'm not sure what they did, but Ryou appeared unharmed after; no bruises and … he was not noticeably… limping."
The Pharaoh smirked. "That might change today. I suppose I'll have to check in on them later."
"Pharaoh? What did you do?" I leaned forward in alarm.
He shrugged slightly, running his finger along the chair pattern. "I stopped by the storage facility to put the other items away. I… released the Ring, showed the Tomb Robber how to… embody himself. Sent him on his way."
"Did you warn Ryou?" I asked.
Pharaoh frowned a little. "No, I did not want to ruin the surprise. I do not think we need the necklace," he gestured to the Millennium Item now on the coffee table, "to know how that little reunion played out."
No, I could imagine Ryou's shocked expression answering his door; joy, desire, and terror mingling on his pale face. I could see the Tomb Robber fix the boy with a feral grin. Probably he would even growl before pouncing and carrying them both to Ryou's bed. Or maybe the entryway floor with the door still open. That was a harder call. "I hope this is what he wanted, after all."
Pharaoh nodded. "I gave the Tomb Robber a tube of lube and a warning. If he forces Ryou, he can still take a vacation in the Shadow Realm. Or I could seal the Ring again. I'm not too worried though, he really seems to care for him."
"You are not concerned that he will try to take over the world, or steal the other Items, or… become a diamond thief?"
"He will not have any better luck taking the Items than before. If he can take over the world without them he is welcome to it. If he breaks the laws of the mortal world, he is their burden. Only if he harms innocents, will I become involved."
I considered that "mortal" lawmen would find it hard to catch a thief without a real body, but another thought pressed on me with more urgency. "You really thought that all through. You knew you wouldn't be able to continue the Thursday meetings anymore. You… you're going back to Egypt!"
XXX
In the fading light from the windows, I curled around Yugi's small frame. Mokuba had returned from school and started on his homework without question, though his eyes held plenty. The Pharaoh had left, whether physically somewhere, or in the puzzle, I did not know. He had promised, without prompting, that he would not merge with Yugi again. I had carried Yugi to my bedroom where he continued to sleep. Alone, now, I faced my feelings. I felt that I had lost Yugi, and regained him. I would miss some things about the merged Yugi I had been dating, but the possibilities of having just Yugi, all to myself, filled me with joy. I wondered how Yugi would feel about it.
The Pharaoh had not denied that he desired to return to his new-found love but did not know if he was physically, or emotionally able to be that far from his light. He planned to stay until he had repaired the damage he had caused to Yugi as best he could. After, he hoped to convince Marik to move to Domino.
"In seeking my past," he had said, "I realized how much more important my present is. My life is in Domino now, not in Egypt. I hope… I hope Marik will agree."
Clearly the Pharaoh did not want to choose between staying with Yugi, and being with Marik. It occurred to me to wonder if I should feel jealous, or hurt, but these emotions were not there, buried or otherwise. I actually felt more comfortable with the Pharoah than I ever had. I hoped he found a way to apologize to Yugi and convince Marik to come. I had the feeling we could become friends. I'd really never had a friend before. I had never wanted one. But my loyalty was to Yugi first.
"How do you plan to make it up to Yugi? What will you tell him?" I had asked the Pharaoh.
"I… was hoping for a little help from you."
My eyes had narrowed. He spoke again quickly. "Not to tell him, just… I thought he should have a little more reassurance that he is loved, and safe, before…"
So we agreed that I would wait for Yugi to awaken, then hold him and comfort him until the Pharaoh returned. He had left then, walking to the front door. He turned in the open doorway, his body a dark shadow against the bright winter sun.
"Yami." He had stated simply.
"What?" I wasn't sure if I had even heard him right.
"It is something Yugi used to call me, sometimes he still does… did. I like it. It is my name."
I nodded, one sharp downward tilt of my chin. Yami turned and walked away, closing the door behind him.
XXX
A/N: Okay, so… hopefully I'll write more soon… but I've realized that although I have the next 'part' all written, I apparently got bored with this one, 'cause, that's all she wrote, folks. So, I'll need to come up with an ending for this part, then I was thinking I should do another little part in the middle before we hook back up with a very fluffy!Seto-and-Yugi arc. It's… kinda like the cinnamon bun French toast with powdered sugar AND syrup I had on Sunday. GOOD, but, OMG sweet.
As long as I'm giving a bit of an outline: after the toothache arc, there is another part I am writing now… I hated it at first, but 'tis growing on me, and it brings us kind of full circle. Actually it is the original plot I had for the story, and just kept putting off… and I think that will finish us off. Hmm, kind of sad for me to think about, but, I console myself with the reminder that each of these arcs will be at least a couple of chapters, so, plenty still.
Well, off to jot down notes for Yugi waking up, or something… if anyone wants to see something in the next part, now's your chance, this is the only time I haven't already had it written when posting the chapter before… you can email me or leave your suggestion in a review, and I'll take it into consideration. Or you can give me random words to fit into the chapter. That's fun.
Oh, and don't panic. I know where this is going… mostly.
Review Responses:
Moonjava – You are always welcome! Have some free coffee or hot cocoa. Pull up a couch and chill awhile. My fic is the place to hang!
Dark Hikari Twilight – Thanks for the encouragement. Welcome, come around anytime! Have some mocha with Moonjava.
Clarity - Okay, that's the separation the chapter title refers to. See, nothing too traumatic. OMG, your review almost made me fall out of my chair. I loved! your vision of Seto arriving in Egypt. Though, maybe it would have opened the door to a foursome? Ah well, missed opportunities…
Dimitri – I was inspired by your superb update-iness. Or maybe it was the Catholic guilt… shrugs So glad someone understands about the lack of control! Hmm, Bakura or Malik… well, M wins on the bishie scale, hands down. (not down there! …well, maybe. Damn, the guilt is back. Oh shit, I just swore. Aghh!) As far as Seto, well, he didn't DO much… meh.
Desidera – Welcome to my fic! I'm glad you took the time to read… I know you may not get to this chapter for a bit, but I wanted to leave a note for when you do. Don't worry about reviewing, I know you are preoccupied. I'm thinking of you…
Dragon – You gotta love Malik though, such a hottie. Check out that episode at the end of Battle City. Yami is totally cheating on Seto with his eyes and mind. Who could blame him, is right. No wonder Seto blows up the tower… jealous bastard. Though, in this fic, I'm quite sure that Yami was the one ignoring Seto…
Aku – Hey sweets. I did finish the part I was telling you about, so don't yell at me. I just also have the next part missing as well… and I needed to update, I was having review withdrawal. Speaking off… I am so honored to have evoked such emotion from you! Thank you so much for sharing it with me! huggles
