W000T! Thank you for all the reviews :D! To quite Dooku, "YOU GUYS RAWK!"

Chapter 3: Bonding

And so, the three reformed Sith Lords who have recently found new meaning in their otherwise dull lives, walked down the hallway to the docking bay, where Dooku's 'nice new set of Geonosian wheels' was parked.

"So, Sid, what you gonna do when we get there? You juz gonna march in the Jedi Temple and tell 'im Jedis that you turnin' good? Coz I seriously dunno if they're gonna believe you, man. I mean, you're like the heartless bastard they've been searchin' for all these years. They're gonna be all over your ass when you finally reveal yourself to them!" Said Dooku. His shoulders shifted from side to side as he walked.

"Well, I'm actually thinking of changing into the Supreme Chancellor once we get there. But this time, I'm going to be a genuinely nice and honest Supreme Chancellor. I'm finally going to mean what I say when I say stuff like 'I love the Republic.' and 'I want peace.' and 'Padme, your hair looks really wonderful today, who's your stylist?' and all those other stuff I said back then just to make them believe that I was on their side."

"Shit, man! You're a lying bastard!" Exclaimed Dooku, but in a tone of admiration for his master's cunning and manipulative abilities.

"But remember, Dooku. I have given up THAT life now. I will never be that evil, lying, conniving intergalactic bastard ever again. For I, Darth Sidious, otherwise known as Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, has realized the error of my ways. I have also realized, that being the Dark Lord of the Sith isn't all what it's cracked up to be."

"Ditto." Replied Dooku. "And what's up with the Sith's rule of two anywayz? How in the world can we PARTY with just two Siths!"

"Well, there ARE three of us now." Said Sidious.

"Because Siths are NOT party animals!" Interrupted Maul. "To even think of Siths 'partying', as you so referred to it, is preposterous! Siths are of a refined peoples. We think and train and meditate in silence…We do NOT party! You are a Sith yourself, Dooku. YOU should know THAT!"

Dooku just trotted and covered his ears, singing "Ladadadadah!" To himself, and "Atleasti'mnotaboringgayloooooseeer.".

Maul sighed. "I don't know if I'll EVER get along with that man. He's impossible! What ever did you find in that, that pretentious excuse for a Count!" Maul adjusted his monocle yet again and held his books closer to him.

Palpatine placed a comforting hand on Maul's shoulder. "Give it time, my friend. And soon enough, you will find out that you and Dooku have something in common too. Search your heart, Maul…You know it to be true." His voice was soft and relaxing.

Maul suddenly felt a feeling of calmness come over him. "Wow, Palpatine. That…That was quite amazing! I…I do feel better now. In fact, I MAY find the will to get along with that barbarian someday, even if that means that I'll have to learn his HORRID 'language'. And that's all thanks to you and your inspiring words."

Palpatine smiled. "All in a day's work for the nicest guy in the universe." He said cheerfully. "You know me…I want nothing but peace and love and kindness in the GALAXY!" Palpatine smiled and winked at the camera. "In fact, if you look up NICENESS in the dictionary, you'd find my picture right next to it."

Maul winced. "Okay…you're um, kind of overdoing it now. Bring it down a notch. If there is one thing you need to know about NICE GUYS, they do NOT openly brag about their NICENESS. Show it, don't talk about it. Correct your mistakes. Right the wrongs! That's what NICE GUYS do!" He exclaimed.

Palpatine narrowed his eyes and stroked his chin. "Hmmm…You're absolutely right!" Then he looked at Dooku. "Hey, Dooku." He said.

Dooku stopped in place, turned around, and faced the Chancellor. "Sup, Palpay!"

Palpatine suddenly threw his arms around Dooku's midsection and held him into a tight, snuggly HUG. "Forgive me, Dooku!" He suddenly shouted. "Forgive me for what I was going to do to you!" He bellowed, his remorseful voice echoing in the hallway.

The count's face was suddenly filled with DISGUST as the Chancellor pulled him into a tight embrace. "AAAH! Someone get him off me!" He yelled in terror. He tried to push Palpatine off him, but the smaller man's hold was too strong.

Maul, too, yelped in surprise and jumped back at the sight of what his master was doing. "What in the world are you doing, master! Isn't that a little…inappropriate!"

Palpatine's pressed his cheek against the count's broad chest. "I was going to betray you!" There was regret in his voice. He looked like he was about to cry. "Like, really screw you over that Anakin kid…I was going to let him chop off your right hand, and your left hand, then to top it all of, I was going to let him cut off your head…"

Dooku grunted in frustration as he tried to shake his way out of the Chancellor's arms. He cared more about getting out of that embrace than what Palpatine was saying. "Dude, look…whatever you were planning to do, I know you're not gonna do it anymore, okay? So just…let go….this is, like, REALLY embarrassing, man!"

"But I want to show you how SORRY I am." Palpatine bawled.

"This is SOOO not the right way to say sorry!" Complained Dooku. "Come on, man. You're making us look really gay and that kinda sucks! In fact, that REALLY sucks! Just, get off me, okay!" He tried to pry Palpatine off of him again, but failed to no avail. Then as a last resort…"Maul!" He shouted. "GET HIM OFF ME!"

Maul rolled his eyes and sighed. He couldn't believe that he was the one who had to set things right again. He mumbled to himself and walked behind Palpatine.

"Okay, master…Enough of the hugging now. I know I told you to set things right and DO what must be done, but this is certainly unnecessary." He wrapped his arms around Palpatine's mid section and helped in prying him off the struggling count.

"Hey Maul, can't you just, like, zap him offa me with your lightsaber or sumthin? Coz, um, we look really gay like this. And that's soooo uncool." Dooku said.

"Look, you juvenile excuse for an eighty three year old Sith Lord…Stop worrying about your 'cool' image and just help me pry off our currently emotional master from your midsection!" Barked Maul. "It is not like anyone's going to witness this atrocious scenario anyway. After all, if I remember correctly, there are only the three of us here on this remote, secret planet."

General Grievous suddenly walked by them and stopped and gaped and froze in place at the sight of the three Sith Lords. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He felt like he was trapped in some TWISTED nightmare.

There was his mentor…the supposedly regal Count Dooku, wearing a tank top and a backwards cap and pants that were so low that he could see the count's undergarment. And wrapped around his mentor's midsection was their prisoner, Chancellor Palpatine. And BEHIND the Chancellor was another person who had tons of makeup on his face. What in the world was happening!

Dooku's eyes widened with shock and his jaw dropped when he saw General Grievous staring at them. "It's not what you think!" He screamed. "I had nothing to do with this, man! I'm just a VICTIM here! A VICTIM, GRIEVOUS!"

Grievous shook his head in dismay. "I'll never understand you humans and your odd behavior. And I expected more from YOU too, Count Dooku." He shook a metal finger at the trapped Dooku. "Because whatever you three are doing, it looks really, REALLY sick! If I were you, I'd get a room." And with that, he continued on his way.

"Wait! GRIEVOUS! Bro! It's NOT what you think!" Dooku shouted, waving his hands at Grievous. "Come back! I'm not finished explaining, yo! COME BACK! GRIEVOOOUUS!" But the droid General was already out of earshot.

Maul finally succeeded on pulling the Chancellor off of Dooku and the two of them almost fell backwards. Palpatine, though, had a huge smile on his face.

"Wow!" Exclaimed Palpatine. "That felt good! I feel as if an entire republic cruiser's worth of guilt was lifted off my chest! I…I didn't know that expressing one's honest emotions could make one feel so light…and heavenly!" He sounded all chipper.

"Dude, they're gonna think I'm a prissy, yo! What if Grievous tells the Confederacy of our hallway action! I'm gonna lose the respect of mah homies! They're gonna think I'm one of those dudes who wanna do it with other dudes."

"Dooku, Dooku, Dooku." Said Palpatine. "Have confidence in yourself. Don't worry about what other people think. Stay true to what's in HERE." He pressed the tip of his index finger against Dooku's chest.

"Oookaaay…" The count moved Palpatine's finger away from him. "From now on, no more touchy-feely stuff. Maybe you and Maul are into all that physical contact crap, but not me, man. Coz if I'm ever gonna get all touchy-feely with anyone, I'm gonna get all touchy feely with a babe. Youz got that? No touchin, 'kay?"

"If you say so, my apprentice." Palpatine smiled.

"'Kay. Then we're all cool with that!"

Palpatine's eyes suddenly wandered over the gold emblem that was hanging on the gold chain around Dooku's neck. He didn't see him wearing that earlier today. Though he did see it when Dooku came back to fetch them.

"Excuse me, but before we continue on our way, what's that?" He pointed at the emblem.

"Oh, this?" Asked the count. He held up the round emblem and smirked. "It's my bling bling, man. Solid gold and looks damn good on me, dontcha thunk?" His bling-bling, as Count Dooku put it, was a cog-shaped golden medallion with a hole in the middle.

"Wait a minute..." Palpatine narrowed his eyes and took a closer look at the medallion. "That's the emblem on my personal speeder!"

x x x x x x

Earlier that day…

Dooku went to the docking bay to get his spruced up Solar Sailor ready. Then he spotted Darth Sidious' slick, jet black, personal speeder that was parked right next to it and noticed the golden, cog-shaped emblem on the middle of its bumper.

"Cool." He smiled to himself. "That is sooo gonna look good on you, man." He stroked his chin and nodded his head as he eyed it.

x x x x x x

"No it's not!" Shouted Dooku as he defensively held the medallion close to him. "It's my bling-bling, man! It's mine! I found it fair and square, bro!"

"You crowbarred it off my speeder!" Shouted Palpatine. "Now give it back! That was supposed to be the symbol of my new EMPIRE!" He grabbed Dooku's hand and tried to open it. "Give me back my symbol! It's mine!"

Dooku pulled away from Palpatine. "Look, dude! If you're really as NICE as you say you are, you're gonna cool down and jus let me have my fucking bling bling, aight? After all, you're not gonna build that empire anymore, aren't ya? You know, now that you're all Mr. 'I honestly love the Republic' and all."

Palpatine exhaled and placed his hands on his hips. "Oh fine, fine, you can have your bling bling. And you're right…I HAVE given up my dreams of building that blasted empire. The thought of it alone was making me stressful anyway."

"So we're cool again?" Asked Dooku.

"Yes, we are 'cool' again." Said Palpatine.

"Then that's really awesome, man." Dooku hugged Palpatine and patted him on the back. Then he pulled away and pushed Palpatine's chest with his knuckle. "Let's go, dudes! The docking bay's just over there." He nudged his head and pointed his thumb at the direction of the docking bay.

Palpatine coughed at the force of Dooku's punch.

"Kinda gets to you after a couple of times, doesn't it?" Asked Maul, stepping beside Palpatine. "I swear that man needs someone to punch him in return. He thinks it's aaaalll fun and games and 'cool' until someone comes home black and blue."

"Word." Replied the Chancellor.

"What?" Maul asked.

"Oh, um, nothing. I said 'You're right!'. Anyway, we better get on our way. Time is of the essence as you already know!" He replied. And yet, he couldn't help but wonder…Did he really just say 'Word?' Damn that Dooku!

x x x x x x

TBC :D! Please do review ;)!