Each individual chapter will have a different rating, different pairings, different spoilers, and a different setting and timeline. Multiple people were involved in writing this fic, I do not claim to have written anything other than my own characters. I do however claim to have come up with the plot, story idea, and organizing it all. The others who write characters in this fic are well aware that I am posting it, and contribute willingly. This fic is an ongoing project with an unknown number of parts, with alternate storyline as of the fifth laboratory incident. Enjoy!
Oblivion, Clarity, and Relapse
Rating: PG-13 (Language, violence, implications...)
Pairings: HavocxRoy, implied RoyxEd and HavocxEd
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.
Spoilers: Oh hell I don't know anymore!
Setting: Lisa Delgardie's house, Geriko.
Timeline: The day after Roy, Ed, and Havoc arrive in Geriko.
When Havoc woke up, he was profoundly disoriented. Pitch-black room, slightly chilly on bare shoulders, a warm arm draped around his waist.
He blinked, his vision adjusting acutely. He could pick out Roy, sleeping like a child, and the almost-too-soft sheets, pillows, and mattress. He yawned, rolling out of bed and snagging a pair of black trousers from underneath the bed and a black wool sweater.
He got dressed and tottered upstairs, wishing for a good cup of coffee with a brandy stiffener.
"You look like hell," Lisa commented. "Late night?"
He blushed. "Er..."
"I'm just teasing. Here, come help me peel some apples and I'll give you a nice cup of coffee." He trailed after her and was summarily sat down to peel apples, though a nice-smelling cup of coffee mysteriously seemed to pop up at his elbow.
"Apple pie, I hope?"
It wasn't too long before Roy awoke, due to the lack of a warm body to snuggle against. Yawning, he slid out from under the covers, cursing under his breath when his bare feet hit cold floor. Glancing around, he managed to find a pair of loose trousers, assumed they were there for Jean, and put them on anyway.
Hm... a bit big... but comfortable, Roy decided, stretching and trodding up the stairs barefooted still, pants clinging low on his hips.
Lisa put down the dough. "Thank heaven that's over!" she sighed. "Stirring pie dough is kind of annoying."
"I would have helped..."
She waved off Havoc's comment. "Should I put a solid crust over the top or a lattice crust...?"
"Lattice. It looks a lot better, and you can taste the apples better." He stretched and yawned. "Ugh. Is it just me, or is it kind of cold in here?"
Roy stifled another yawn upon entering the kitchen, the smell of coffee simply irresistible to his sleep muddled brain.
Havoc chuckled when he spotted his C.O. "Morning, sir," he said, pushing the question of heat difference away. "You look like hell."
Lisa snorted and went to fill a cup of coffee. "When you two are at least moderately functional, we need to discuss what you're going to do. You can't very well keep haunting my inn."
"Nngh..." It was the most intelligible reply anybody was getting out of Roy until he had his coffee, and, stifling yet another yawn, he padded forward on the pure need for the beverage.
"Oh, for..." Lisa set down a filled mug on the table right next to Havoc. "Is he always like this in the morning?" she asked the pale-haired man.
He grinned. "Yeah. Can't string two coherent sounds together to save his life until he's had a cup of coffee. He's been like this for years." He shivered, pulling his heavy wool sweater closer.
Running his fingers through his toussled hair, Roy draped himself a bit inelegantly on Havoc's lap, warming his hands with the mug and sipping slowly.
Lisa did a combination of snort/choke/squawk/laugh. "Dear God in Heaven," she muttered, dumping cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, honey, and other ingredients into a saucepan. She turned on the heat. "You're both loony."
"Blame it on him," Havoc said, thereby absolving himself of any part in it. "I'm just passing through."
Roy grunted slightly, tugging at the pants that rid just a little too low and then glaring at Jean over his mug. "Liar..."
"Yup!" Havoc said cheerfully. He took a big sip of his coffee. "Well, now that you can say an actual word, you want me to go get the files so we can figure out what we're going to do?"
"...Give it a minute..." Roy sipped his coffee slowly, tension melting away from his muscles as he relaxed against Jean. "...'m comfy..."
Lisa resisted the urge to prang Mustang's head with a heavy sauteé pan. She settled for glaring instead.
Havoc just sighed.
Roy shuddered involuntarily at the sudden Ominous Air of Death And Destruction that seemed to be lurking over his shoulder. He then grinned behind his coffee cup. Jealous, much?
The tension between his C.O. and his doctor did not go unnoticed. Dear lord, she's getting overprotective. I know she's old enough to be my mother, but still... Havoc cleared his throat.
"I think I'm going to get those files now."
Setting his mug down on the table again, Roy captured Jean's mouth without warning, tongue slipping past unguarded lips to sample the tastes inside before pulling back, contemplatively licking his lips. "Hnn... Had a little something extra in yours..."
With a small grin, Roy slid off of Havoc's lap. "I'm going to have a shower, we can look over those files when I'm done..." And with that, he walked off, pants still dangerously low with the gentle sway of his hips.
Havoc glanced over at Lisa, at a complete loss for words. Luckily, amusement shone out of her yellow eyes and her mouth curved into a smirk. "I thought you said he was more tactful than that."
"Usually he is. I think you put something in his coffee."
The smirk widened. "Maybe."
He sighed in annoyance. "Old meddler." He made it to the kitchen door before he started to falter.
His mug crashed to the ground and he followed not long after.
"Jean!"
Roy hadn't made it halfway up the stairs before the crash of porcelain and Lisa's scream had him back down and kneeling next to Havoc within a matter of seconds. "What the hell happened?"
Lisa stood in the kitchen doorway, eyes wide and blank. After the initial shock of what had happened passed, she realized what was going on. A grin of almost indecent triumph spread across her face. She threw her head back and began to laugh.
Roy sat back, glaring indignantly at the woman. "I can't seem to shake the feeling that I've been had..."
Lisa slid down the lintel, still laughing.
"Oh, Jean, I'm so glad you came back for the finish!" she finally gasped.
Running his fingers through his hair, Roy muttered something to himself. "Do you mind enlightening me, Ma'am..."
"Oh, don't 'ma'am' me. I may be fifty-something years old, but I certainly don't feel it." She finally got herself under control, though she kept her place. "Jean's humanity is coming back." At the more-than-just-slighty-dubious look on Roy's face, she tried to clarify. "There's always a period of instability with a chimera, right after he's been reborn. It can include hypersensitivity, mild insanity, and a recurrent surfacing of the other half. If a chimera was truly properly made, there comes a breaking point. Jean's hit it. He's going to be himself again."
Roy huffed out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, shaking his head slightly. "How long is he going to be out like that?"
"Well..." She abruptly remembered something. "Help me get him down into my lab. There isn't anything breakable in there."
Roy lifted a brow at the breakable comment, but decided it was better that he just listened to this woman. She knew what was happening to Jean, and he didn't.
Nodding shortly, he carefully lifted Havoc off the floor, managing to balance his weight well enough to carry him.
"Follow me. And move quickly." She opened another, more unobtrusive door. "I'm not sure how long this comatose state will last. And he was crossed with a lion, so his waking will be much more violent than most." She began to descend the stairwell.
That worried Roy, and he hastily followed after her. "What exactly do you mean by that..."
"After the state of imperfection comes two states of refinement. Oblivion and Clarity. The peace of Oblivion allows the chimera to remember who he used to be, and slip that side closer to the surface. But the primal nature of the animal never gives up without a fight. Hence, the violence of Clarity."
She cursed violently. "Those sodding bastards back in Central ordered him home as soon as he could walk without throwing up. They never took into account the fact that he could – and would! – have torn everyone around him limb from limb. Including you and Major Elric, had you been within reach. Clarity is a painful state."
"Despite being his commander, I was ill informed on this matter..." Roy looked around. "What now...?"
Lisa unlocked a heavy stone door. "You were probably ill informed because nobody bothered to care about it. Those poor people in Greed's company were left on their own. It's no real wonder that they're more than just slightly unhinged."
She moved into the stone laboratory, squinting to check that all of the Arrays were still undamaged. "Bring him in."
Roy stiffened slightly at the mention of Greed, shook his head, and stepped into the room, noting to himself that he would have to ask just what she knew about Greed and the others when he got the chance.
"Careful, the Array's carved deep – the last thing I need is for you to trip and hurt yourself. Hurry!"
Being the alchemist that he was, Roy took in the details of the array with a glance, nodding and, for once, blindly following commands as they were given.
Lisa felt vaguely uneasy. "No... Roy, put him down now."
An oddly synthesized growl emitted from Havoc.
"RUN!"
Roy cast an uneasy glance downwards, backing away from Jean. At the sound of the growl, his pace slowed, then halted completely. He couldn't pry his eyes away, couldn't move despite his brain screaming at his body to move! Run you fucking IDIOT you're going to get yourself KILLED!
Even as Havoc began to move, Lisa darted over his body with foxlike grace, grabbing Roy's wrist and making a break for it. The morbidly facinated man slowed her down considerably, and she had a sudden sickening feeling that Jean would go for their throats.
"Dammit man, MOVE IT!" she screamed.
Roy forced himself to pry his eyes off of Jean, finding his feet again and stumbling after Lisa.
Lisa shoved Mustang out into the short corridor in front of her lab, slamming the door shut just in time. A thud and dust drifting down from the ceiling made her believe even more ferverently that there was, in fact, a God.
Putting theological considerations aside, she grabbed hold of Mustang and slammed him back into a wall. "What the hell were you THINKING!" she hissed. "You could have gotten the both of us killed! If you don't care about yourself, then think about Jean! It would kill him to know that he murdered you!"
Roy turned his head, shrugging her off without a word and clutching his shoulders briefly before walking off down the hall. He needed to be as far away from those horrible sounds as he could get.
And if he was shaking, he'd say it was cold.
"There's a bottle of brandy on the top shelf above the sink in the kitchen," she said softly, voice raw. "And if you could be so kind to turn off the stove, I'd be grateful."
Mustang held up a hand in a gesture of thanks before disappearing back up the stairs.
He shut off the stove without really thinking, searching out the brandy and dragging himself upstairs to his room.
"So. This is what it comes back to," she said softly, wincing at the noises. From personal experiences, she knew the pain and madness. "It's not fair that the two... all three of you should have to be put through this."
She turned and went upstairs to tell Mustang what to expect.
Roy sighed, back to the door as he sat on the bed and took a long pull directly from the bottle. What a way to start the day...
Lisa knocked gently on the door to Roy's room. "Roy?"
"What..." Roy felt too tired to be doing this... Just... tired of it all...
"I have an offer to make and something to tell you. Don't bother opening the door – what I have to say can be said from out here."
There was a grunt of consent from the other side of the door, followed by the clinking of a bottle being set on the bedside table and a heavy sigh to signal Roy was listening.
"Jean will be finished in an hour," she said calmly, totally unperturbed. "He'll need a shower and a change of clothing, but mostly, he'll need you. He needs a kind of comfort that I can't give him.
"If you'd like – and only if you want it – I can give you a sedative that will make you sleep for the next hour and a half to two hours."
"I'll be fine..." Roy curled up on the bed, feeling decidedly small and weak. Perhaps it was because he didn't have his gloves on... was hardly clothed...
"Lying isn't a virtue, Roy. I'm entitled to worry about you, and I fully intend to. You showed up on my doorstep with someone who's as close as a brother to me, and he loves you, just as much as he loves that prickly mess of a human being downstairs."
"I don't need a sedative... I'll be here when he's through... You should go talk to Edward, he'll be up and moving soon, right?" Roy pulled the covers up to his chin.
Lisa's mouth twisted at the mention of Ed's name. "He won't be up for a few more hours. The last thing Jean needs to break his psyche is that... child saying what he did. That's what hastened this you know. Guilt and fear. Two very, very powerful motivators."
"It's not his fault... if I were in his position..." Roy paused. "No... I would've never made it as far as he has..."
"I don't understand," she said softly. "Why Jean keeps caring when that brat keeps hurting him. You heard what was said last night!
"I don't understand. Is this what you perceive as strength? The ability to hurt people so badly that they're broken and bleeding inside? The ability to brush off the pain of others because you're more important?
"Major Elric was right, in a roundabout fashion. Jean will die. It will kill Jean if it keeps up. He can't take that kind of abuse."
"He was dealing with his own rebound, it can't be helped... Jean's words were hurting him too... Look, if that's all... I'd like to be alone..." Roy's words were muffled under the blankets.
"Of course. Forgive me for interrupting."
Havoc came to and groaned, feeling horrible. Ill. Beaten. But... strangely, transparently happy.
Roy shifted slightly, pulling the covers tighter around his half naked frame. Can't even protect the ones I love...
Havoc creaked to his feet, wondering why the hell he was downstairs. And why he hurt, felt sick and that he just wanted a nice long hug.
Lisa made her way down to her lab, frowning when no more sounds emerged from the chamber except for idiotically happy laughter.
Sitting up, Roy shook his head, reaching over for the bottle of brandy and taking another pull before slumping back to stare at the ceiling again.
Lisa cracked open the door. There was Havoc, happy as anything, crosslegged a few yards out. He waved cheerfully, sapphire blue eyes shining. "Hi. I'm hungry."
She laughed out loud, tackling him in a tight hug.
Waiting, Roy decided, wasn't the hard part. The part that was hard was having too much to think about while waiting.
Lisa tugged her friend to his feet, ignoring the raw red patches scraped across his body. "Come on, Roy's in the doldrums, I think you should try to snap him out of it." She paused, looking at his face. He was still the same as before... except his eyes were a beautiful shade of deep sapphire blue.
He grinned. "I'll go pounce on him to make him feel better."
Sitting cross-legged on the bed, Roy scowled to himself, taking yet another pull from the bottle. "Fuck... Just don't make shit like this back in Central..."
Lisa tousled Havoc's hair. It was quite a stretch. "Well, go scrape him up from his bed, get him bathed, clothed, and sober. We need to talk." She ran an eye over his scrapes. "And get you disinfected."
Havoc groaned, trudging upstairs. As he got closer to Roy's room, an evil idea blossomed in his head. Stopping right outside the door, he grinned, took a deep breath, and bellowed.
"OY, MUSTANG. GET YOUR LAZY ARSE OUT OF BED AND FALL OUT! MOVE IT!"
A perfect imitation of Drill Sergent Tant, who was the only man in Central who could cow Roy.
There was the sound of a crash, like broken glass, followed by a rather loud thud and a rather creative string of curses.
A shout of laughter drifted from upstairs – as a fox, Lisa had exceptional hearing, and it didn't help that Roy's room was straight above the kitchen.
Havoc held back his giggles long enough to open the door. Then, when he saw Roy flat and tangled in blankets, he totally lost it. He collapsed to the floor, laughing hysterically.
Roy winced, massaging his temples and getting shakily to his feet, collapsing back on the bed. "Keep it down will you, that fucking hurts..."
Havoc's laughter slowly died to a purr. "What did I tell you about your drinking?" he said, getting up and opening the closet. "It's not healthy." He turned around, dress shirt and trousers in hand and mock-glared at his superior. "Trust me, if you get drunk, you don't want to drink what Lisa makes up to cure it. Hardened Ishbarite tavern-goers go green at the smell of it. A coddled military pansy like yourself would faint dead away at it."
He really liked taking a page out of Drill Sergent Tant's book.
That earned Jean a heated glare back, before Roy decided that hurt his eyes. "I can sleep it off..." He rolled over, pulling the covers back up over his shoulders again and pulling one of the two pillows up under his head. "C'mere..."
Sapphire eyes twinkled benignly at Roy. "Not until you clean out that mouth of yours," he said sweetly. "I heard some distinctly ungentlemanly things about my immediate ancestry and (not untrue) things about my sexual preference. Come on, scrape yourself up, otherwise I'm going to toss you into the cistern myself."
And that earned a growl. "Dammit Jean just c'mere already..."
Havoc snorted. "What part of 'no' don't you understand? We're working under a time limit here." Though there was a light, cheerful veneer over his tone, there was something cold and deadly serious underneath. He grabbed Roy's arm, unceremoniously hauling him out of bed with a thwump.
"You said it yourself I'm not getting within fifty feet of whatever your friend cooks up, so I think I'll just stay here... If you're that damn impatient you can go yourself... I need to fucking sleep..." Roy stared up at Jean.
"I most certainly did not!" Havoc said with asperity. "I just said it was a pretty rotten idea." He dragged Roy to the bathroom and began running a hot bath. "What the hell were you doing with alcohol at a time like this, anyway?"
"Blame her for telling me where it was..." Roy leaned heavily against Jean, burying his face against the taller man's shoulder.
"I'm not blaming anyone for anything. I just want to know why you were curled up in bed with a bottle of brandy. You usually don't do that unless something's really wrong," he said gently. He got out a bar of soap and a huge fluffy towel. "Come on, strip down and into the tub."
"You've got no idea what just happened if you don't understand why I did it... And you say strip like I'm actually wearing clothes..." A short tug sent the loose pants Roy was wearing to the floor, and, as requested, he stepped into the bath, slowly sinking into the water with a sigh.
"Should I know what just happened?" Havoc asked, damping the soap and rubbing it onto a wet washcloth. He tossed it to Roy. "Here. But... nothing's wrong besides the usual shit. I feel better than I have for years. You look like somebody was about ready to die."
"Yeah... I know..." Roy opened his eyes and looked to Jean. "C'mere now..."
"Not until I get patched up." He rubbed a particularly nasty gouge that had started bleeding again. "I'm under strict orders. Now, tell me what was going on."
Roy frowned. "She'll probably want to tell you that part... And get over here dammit I'm not saying a thing until you do!"
"If she hasn't told me by now, then she probably wants somebody other than her to tell me." He drifted over and sat on the edge, the look in his blue eyes a clear warning for Roy to not do anything stupid.
Hair still dry, Roy rested his head against Jean's leg. "Like hell I'm risking pissing her off..."
Havoc blinked. "She's not that bad. Sure, she gets a little testy when she's annoyed." His hand affectionately ran through Roy's hair. "Doesn't everybody?"
"S'not the point... I'm not going to say a thing about it until she says it's okay, and I'd rather not be the one to say it anyway..." Roy sighed, tilting his head to look up at Jean.
"What can be so horrible about it?" Something twigged at the expression on Roy's face. "I didn't kill anybody, did I?"
Roy shook his head, reaching up and brushing his hand against Jean's face. "No... You scared me though..."
"What did I do?" The steely tone brooked no argument, and there was a grim flicker in blue eyes. "Stop dancing around the issue and tell me. If I scared you that badly, I don't want to do it again."
"You're not going to do it again, it was a one time thing..." Roy nestled his head back in Jean's lap again, arms, despite being wet, wrapping around his waist.
Havoc looked down, nonplussed. "Thanks for dancing around the issue. Why won't you tell me? The least you can do is trust me that far." He winced as one of Roy's arms pressed against a cut in his side. "And I'd like to know why I look like I was caught in a crossfire of flak and shrapnel, thank you very much."
Hearing Jean wince, Roy loosed his arms slightly, lifting his head to let half closed eyes settle lazily on a relatively light cut. He sighed, tilting his head slightly then and letting his tongue trace lightly over the wound on Havoc's side.
Havoc jumped, startled, when he felt Roy's tongue touch him. "What the..." As if the warm, wet touch was some kind of trigger, every single cut, scratch, gouge, wound, and raw patch started aching together. He hissed between clenched teeth.
"Get in so we can get you cleaned up..." Roy pulled back, tearing what little material still held Jean's shirt on so that the scraps just fell to the floor.
"Hell, no!" Havoc groaned. "It hurts too much to move..."
"It'll feel better after a minute, trust me. Just get in..."
Havoc eyed the steaming water warily. "No it won't."
"I'd rather not have to pull you in, Jean..." Roy hooked his thumbs under the waistband of Havoc's pants.
"You wouldn't dare..."
"Yes I would, now you either come willingly, or the pants come too, because I can't get them off with you sitting on the edge like that."
"For pity's sake, what don't you understand about 'no'? It's not that difficult of a concept!"
"You should know me better than that, Jean, I'm hurt. Now get your ass in here!" Roy slipped his arms around Havoc's waist suddenly, pulling him back to splash into the water, still in his pants.
Havoc let out something close to a scream of pain. Damn, the water was way too hot and some of those cuts were much too deep...
"Quit hyperfocusing and calm down..." Roy growled lightly. "Damn, woman didn't even give you some painkillers before she sent you up to drag me out of bed? Relax! It'll hurt for a minute, I'm going to check those wounds... Sit up..."
Thinly healed crusts across the deepest cuts on his chest and shoulders tore open, and soon the water around him was tinged pink.
"When I feel better, you're so in for it," he growled through gritted teeth, obeying the orders.
Roy sighed, taking the washcloth that had been thrown at him earlier and lightly dabbing away dirt and dried blood off the cuts on Havoc's back. "Bear with me okay..." He leaned forward to gently kiss an unscathed region near Jean's neck and shoulder. "Did your... did Miss Delgardie ever tell you about Oblivion and Clarity..."
"You know I hate alchemy," he said shortly, as if that answered it. He cringed at the light touch of rough cloth on chafed skin. "I've never understood any of it, nor do I want to. And her name is Lisa, by the way."
"They're stages of a perfect chimerical transmutation, Jean..." Roy wrung out the cloth, soaking it in the water again once he'd finished with Havoc's back. "Lean back again, I need to reach your chest..."
Havoc leaned back, hissing as open wounds met hot water. "What do you mean, stages? Look, Roy, if you're going to explain this to me, pretend I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."
"You passed out a couple of hours ago... Lisa explained to me that this was the stage of Oblivion, in which your human side would be drug up to the surface..." Roy started to dab at the cuts on Havoc's chest. "After Oblivion comes Clarity, which as I've been informed is a very painful stage... The beast doesn't go down without a fight... You... were violent..."
"Violent?" Havoc squeaked, blue eyes troubled. "What do you mean by violent?"
"Lisa locked you downstairs in her lab...barely got me out before you woke up... it... scared me... The look in your eyes then..." Roy paused, leaning down to kiss Jean's forehead before burying his face against his neck. "I couldn't even move..." he murmured against Havoc's neck.
Havoc breathed shallowly, shocked by the admission of fear. It must have been horrible indeed to frighten Roy Mustang that badly.
"How... how bad was it..."
"One more second and you would've killed both of us, but it's over now... It's over..." Roy resisted the urge to tighten his grip, knowing that would just hurt Jean more. "You're more yourself now..."
Havoc was struck dumb. "Is that how... I got to be such a mess? Did I do this to myself?" His voice rose, slightly hysterical.
"My guess is that it was from trying to get out of that room... but I don't know..." Roy ran his fingers through Havoc's hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner, though his hands were shaking. Gods he just wanted to taste those lips again, anything to distract him from having to talk about all this.
"And you swear that it'll never happen again?" Havoc demanded, blue eyes haunted.
"From what I gathered up with what Lisa told me, I'm as positive as I can be about the matter, Jean..." Roy was sure he heard his voice quiver for just a moment.
"I'm sorry I asked..." he said shakily. "Now I know I'm going to have nightmares..."
"It wasn't something that could be helped... It was going to happen sooner or later, we were just lucky you were here when it did... It... It'll be fine... I... trust me... Let's just let it go for now..." Roy settled for tracing along the rim of Havoc's ear for the moment, fingers idly brushing against the fabric still covering Jean's legs.
Havoc abruptly leaned forward, resting his arms and chin on drawn-up knees. There was still a lot that he hadn't been told, he knew that. He also knew that it wasn't Roy's fault – some things were better left alone for some people. And if this much information had driven Roy to drink, he wasn't quite sure what the entire story would have done.
He shivered.
Caution thrown to the wind, Roy pulled Jean back against his chest again, holding him there tightly as he buried his face in the crook of Havoc's neck.
Havoc absently reached up, stroking Roy's messy hair. He was still thinking.
A scolding nip was placed at the base of Havoc's ear and Roy growled slightly. "You're thinking... That's the last thing you need to be doing right now, so quit it..." Fingers danced up Havoc's thighs as Roy planted tender, pleading kisses along his neck and as much of his jaw as he could reach. "Plenty of time to think later..." he murmured at the base of Jean's ear.
Havoc obeyed, but only up to a point. He stopped thinking, but started worrying instead.
Why had he been ordered back to Central when there were obviously alchemists there...? He sat bolt upright and scrambled out of the tub.
"Dammit, we are some of the stupidest people alive!"
Mind still a bit hazy from the alcohol, Roy nearly slipped stepping out of the tub himself, knocking his head against the showerhead with a curse and staring with one eye closed at Jean. "What is it now..."
Havoc tossed Roy a towel. "I was brought back to Central before I was fully complete, right? There are hundreds of State Alchemists there, so one or two of them must have known how stupid a move like that was. But the two alchemists who were studying chimerical transmutations were killed.
"Somebody wanted me to be uncontrolled. They wanted you, me, and Edward dead. It was a foolproof plan, really. I'd go crazy, you and Ed would come in to see what was wrong, I'd kill you, then be put down because I'm dangerous. All three of us dead within a day."
Roy groaned, wrapping the towel around his waist and not bothering with drying off. "Fuck... Who the fuck ordered you back... Somebody's got high connections in the military... Who besides me could give that kind of order?" As though the clouds had suddenly parted, the color slowly drained from Roy's skin. "Fuck..."
"That can't be a good thing – you've said 'fuck' three times, and the last time you did that, we were hit dead-on with a shell."
Roy sank to his knees, staring at the floor blankly. "Bradley... The gaps in information on his secretary, the way he always knows... Why the hell didn't I see it before..."
Havoc's jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding! I know he's a bit... odd... but he wouldn't try to actually kill any of us?"
"I know... And the Homunculi wanted to keep Edward alive to transmute the Philosopher's Stone, but..." Roy rubbed his temples. "My only guess is that their orders have changed..."
Havoc felt like banging his head against the wall. "This is ridiculous!" he yelled suddenly. "These mutant monsters are ten steps ahead of us, and the next thing we know, we're in checkmate! I'd just like the world to make sense for five fucking minutes!"
"They're good... too good... Somewhere they had to have made a mistake..." Roy shakily got to his feet, heading for the bathroom door. "Get out of those pants, Jean, that can't be comfortable..." And with that he went to get some clothes, head finally clearing.
Havoc stalked after him. "Yeah, they made a mistake. Three of them, actually. They let me live after the Ishbar incident, they let the three of us slip through their fingers, and they allowed us to hook up with Lisa. I think that Lisa's the key to all of this."
He pulled a pair of pants out of a drawer, changing quickly. "Whatever happens, Roy, Ashton Fawkes is mine."
"I've no qualms with you holding a personal vendetta, Jean, but don't get reckless, please... I think I'll take that viper woman's head for Hughes' death myself..." Roy tugged on his gloves, fastening the hooks and clasps of his uniform without a second thought before remembering where they were. He groaned inwardly, hiding his face in his palms and running his fingers through his hair. "Dammit... force of habit..."
Havoc chuckled. "Lisa won't care, come on. I need something sweet and fattening to eat." A twinge from his back made him wince. "And get a gallon of antiseptics dumped on me, but that's beside the point." He left the room, sliding down the bannister like a little kid.
Roy effectively masked skepticism as he followed Jean down the stairs, hands in his pockets.
Lisa looked up with an affectionate smile as Havoc came barreling into the kitchen. "Pancakes," she said, pointing to a still-steaming stack. "There's more than enough for you and Roy to share."
"Strawberry!" he said happily. "Lisa, you're an angel! Will you marry me?"
She burst out laughing. "I doubt that Roy would take that kindly," she said, smiling affectionately. "Though... if it was made in all seriousness, I may have to say yes..."
Roy pointedly ignored that statement, though the atmosphere in the room most certainly seemed to take on a rather ominous air as he sat at the table in trained silence.
The two chimerae exchanged a glance and burst out laughing. Havoc grabbed a pancake and stuffed it in his mouth. "Lighten up, Colonel!" he said around the wad of dough. "It'd be like marrying my sister!"
"Agreed," Lisa said, shooting a look at Havoc and putting pancakes on a plate for him. "We're too closely related by blood for my comfort or his."
Roy ignored the laughter as well, simply mulling over his thoughts...
"He ignored us," Lisa commented.
"Well, he'll get it when I call Ashton 'cousin'," Havoc said cheerfully. "If he's not too busy trying to turn somebody into a hamburger."
"Which you know will happen."
"Of course. He has a remarkable ability to ignore me at any and all times." Havoc munched on another pancake, happy that he could finally eat normal food again. "When he's out of his sulk, we need to speak about something."
Roy shot a cold glare at Havoc across the table. "Keep that up and there might not be enough left of you for Fawkes to scrape off the sidewalk..."
Havoc sighed, his previous good mood disintegrating rapidly. "What's wrong with you? Are you annoyed because I was flirting with a cousin?"
Roy diverted his gaze to the table again, slouching with his chin resting on crossed hands. Damn that Fawkes... Sorry, Jean, but I might have to deny you Ashton's murder...
Havoc wadded up a pancake into a little ball and bounced it expertly off of Roy's head. "What's wrong?" he asked gently.
Roy didn't even realize how uptight he'd been until it was almost too late, and with a horrified expression he dropped his hand as the tiniest of alchemical explosions jumped from his fingertips.
He opened his mouth to say something, but clenched his jaw shut again just moments after, a bit of a wild look in his eyes as he pushed back his chair and stood, shaking his head as he walked straight for the room in which he'd left Edward.
"Let him go," Lisa advised. "Something's wrong –"
"Yeah, and I want to know what it is!"
"But he very obviously doesn't want you to know," she pointed out prosaically. She checked the clock above the stove. "Major Elric will be up soon..."
"Wonderful!" he growled. "Just wonderful. Is there any work that I can do for you?"
"Follow me. You can help pump up the cistern. And fix the ball-cock, I think I did something to it..." They wandered off, chatting about plumbing.
-
It hadn't been but fifteen minutes before the sound of shouting arose, abruptly cut off with a loud thud and the clatter of breaking glass from Edward's room.
Havoc looked up from the greasy mechanics he was working on. "What the hell?"
Lisa sighed, just as equally covered with grease and oil. "I'm assuming Elric is awake. Shall we go see what the ruckus is?"
Groaning, they both tottered off to see what was the matter.
Several more dull thuds signaled something banging against a wall deftly, and as the two chimeras neared the room a voice could be heard.
"Worthless fucking human!" THUD! Followed by the sound of a sickeningly cold laugh. "Pathetic!"
Roy's vision blurred, blacked out momentarily, and returned just as blurry. He coughed, unaware of his hands tightening on a metal arm, unaware of how much time had passed, only sickeningly aware of the blobby looking splotch of yellow that dominated his line of sight, and the feeling of vertigo that suddenly swept over him.
Havoc kicked open the door, suddenly feeling very militant. His eyes blazed blue-green at the scene before him.
Lisa screamed, eyes wide in horror.
Slitted violet eyes narrowed on Havoc as he kicked in the door, but a wicked smirk still settled on Ed's lips. He'd pinned Roy to the wall with an automail hand at his neck, crouched slightly on the overturned bedside table and ignoring the pathetic hands clawing at his arm that continued to get weaker the longer he held on.
In a rush of rage, sapphire turned completely into green-gold. With a feral snarl, Havoc barreled after the homunculus, fangs bared and claws out.
He felt sharp points sink into warm flesh, and his bloodlust was up.
"Jean stop!" Lisa cried.
Ed chuckled, outright laughed, releasing Roy with a glint in his eyes as he pushed up and off of Jean, blood trailing from where claws had dug into his skin as he came back around with the full brunt of an automail shin slamming into the side of Havoc's head.
Roy shuddered and choked, gasping for breath and collapsing to the floor. Coughing, he barely registered the sticky red liquid on his hand that had come from his own mouth before his vision blacked out completely and he lapsed into unconsciousness.
Lisa had knelt to help Roy, and stared, horrified, at the casual brutality with which Elric had moved to dispatch Jean.
Havoc slammed back against the wall with a pitiful yelp. He shook his head woozily, then snarled at the monster opposite. He had to get enough time for his master to get out of there!
He launched again, this time careful of automail arm and leg. His teeth latched onto Edward's flesh shoulder. He jerked himself back, tearing a nasty gouge into the shoulder.
His eyes slowly turned completely gold.
In an instant of raw pain violet eyes flickered gold, even if momentarily, and Ed staggered slightly, hesitating. Almost instantly, though, his eyes were violet again, and he clapped his hands together, the blue crackle of alchemical light drowning the room, as the doors were melded into the walls.
Edward paused then, tilting his head as he watched the blood run down his arm and then grinning as he took the time to lick crimson rivulets from his fingers.
Havoc could feel blood trickling down his bare arms, chest, and back, but it only served to highten the bloodlust. Slit-pupiled, golden eyes narrowed, bloody teeth bared. Monster... we're both monsters, aren't we?
He flew forward again, aiming for Elric's throat.
Lisa clapped her hands in a familliar gesture, putting them down on the floor and 'growing' a three-foot-thick wall between them and the two fighting beasts.
She slipped a small white stone from her pocket and set to work fixing the worst of the damage Roy had sustained.
Ed's automail fist connected with Havoc's jaw, shortly followed by his knee to Havoc's gut, as Ed caught him up by the throat just as he'd done Roy. "So all that hard work didn't even pay off did it?"
Havoc just smiled, and began to laugh. It wasn't pleasant, the hoarse, cold laughter of a man condemned to death. "It was worth it."
Unbeknownst to Edward, Lisa and Roy had escaped.
"Was it really? Is stepping into the realm of 'god' ever really worth it?" Edward was calm, despite the heavy damage. "And what kind of a person is she to leave you here to die, Jean, really?"
Havoc just continued to laugh.
Ed narrowed his eyes further, slamming Havoc's head back against the wall. "The fuck is so goddamn funny!"
"So this is how far you've fallen... a truly pathetic sight..."
"You should've just killed the pathetic kid while you had the chance, Jean, should've killed him... Edward Elric has been dead for three fucking years! You had the chance to send him back, you fucked that chance, now he's never coming back..." The wicked grin that spread across those lips was far from anything Ed would ever wear.
Havoc lashed out, scoring four deep cuts across his opponent's face. "I had hope. Hell, I still have it. So kill me, if you think you can. I've been through it once, and I've had my fair share of life and love." There was something indecently triumphant in sapphire eyes.
Ed backed up, dropping his arm to his side as he stared blankly at Havoc as the blood ran down his face. His left eye shifted colors back to gold slowly, and suddenly it was white hot pain driving through his nerves, leaving him on his knees and trembling.
Havoc himself dropped down, finally realizing how much damage he had taken. He doubled over, breathing painfully.
"Goddamn... gopher..."
Ed stared blankly, numbly ahead. Jean... "H-... wh-... Jean..." He tried to reach out, but was faced with a blinding pain through his left shoulder and halted, eyes barely focusing enough to see the blood pooled around his hand in horror.
Havoc somehow managed to get over to Ed and cradled him gently. "It'll be okay, Ed. Once Lisa's done patching Roy up, she'll fix you." He yanked out a large square of linen he found in his pocket, wadding it up and gently placing it on the massive, bruised, bleeding mess of Ed's shoulder. "I'm sorry Ed. You'll be okay..."
"Wh-...-at... h-happened..." Ed swallowed, biting back a yelp of pain.
"Shh. That's not a question I can answer." He spoke gently, running fingers over the cuts on Ed's face. He'd have to make sure those got looked to soon. He couldn't swear that his claws were clean. "Relax. You're safe now, I won't hurt you."
Ed whimpered, jerking back slightly. "That hurts... why... Jean..." Tears mingled with the blood that dripped down his face, stinging the cuts as he looked up at Havoc.
"Why what?" He took on the tone of voice that he had used with shellshocked soldiers, gentle, kind, understanding. He took a deep breath and winced at a sharp biting pain in his side. "Relax, Ed. No one's going to hurt you anymore."
"Can't..." Ed jerked slightly, vision having blacked out for a second as his head tilted forward. "Light... dizzy..."
"Close your eyes, and if you have to pass out, do it. It'll help you calm down and heal faster," Lisa's voice said softly. She was standing over the two men, the white stone in hand. "We're both here to help you."
She knelt down, touching the unscarred half of Ed's face. "You're hurt badly, but it's nothing I can't fix, all right?"
Edward stared blankly at the white stone in Lisa's hand. "W-wha... i... is that... A... Al..." Ed's voice tapered off as consciousness escaped him, eyes closing slowly as his body went limp.
Wordlessly, Lisa used the stone to heal the mess of Ed's shoulder. "That should keep the bloodloss to a minimum," she said quietly. "I'll let him keep the wounds on his cheek. He needs a lesson, anyway."
She reached over to Havoc. "A concussion, cracked skull, broken ribs, internal bleeding... you're very definitely lucky to be alive, Jean. He would have killed you."
"I guess it really isn't my day..." He groaned as he felt a lessening of pressure in his skull and his ribs popped back into place. "What the hell is that thing, anyway?"
"It's the Albino Stone, a few steps down from a Philosopher's Stone. I use it for healing when normal methods won't work." She stood. "You're good to go. Take it easy, though, you're not fit to do any more fighting."
He stood. "And Roy?"
"Fine... physically at least..." Roy knelt behind Jean, arms draped around his neck. He sighed, resting his head on Havoc's shoulder and looking at Edward, then closed his eyes. "I believe there is some explaining to be done, however, concerning how it is you are in possession of an Albedo, Miss Delgardie..."
Lisa colored up from embarrassment. "Um."
Havoc lifted his eyebrows. "This should be good..."
"It has to do with a bottle of wine, a honeymoon, and my parents," she said all in a rush. "Please don't ask any more."
Havoc began to chuckle, though painfully.
"So the rumors are true about those kinds of arrays then? Fascinating..." Mustang simply grinned. "I'm amazed though at your talent to have been able to create such a stone in the first place... And... I suppose being a chimera that you obtained the Nigredo, the prima materia, through that..."
Lisa blushed even brighter red. Havoc lapsed into snorting giggles, his mind finally running away from him.
She glared at him. "Can it, flyboy."
He started gasping painfully, the ache in his ribs refusing to go away. "Lisa, I can't believe you actually did that!" he said with a faint grin.
Roy suddenly shifted moods, pulling Jean back against his chest and nestling his head in the crook of the blond's neck. "Do me a favor, Jean... and don't go doing stupid things like that again okay..."
Lisa, knowing her cue when she saw it, got up and disappeared, determined to get her apple pie finished in time for lunch.
"I'm sorry. I can't help it – it's part of my programming. When someone I care for is getting hurt, I have to act." He reached up and ruffled the black mop of hair by his ear. "You can't tame someone who's half-wild, sir..."
"I don't care... You could've gotten yourself killed, there had to be a way other than provoking him like that..." Roy's grip tightened slightly. Something warm and wet dripped down onto Jean's shoulder. "I told you not to do anything stupid..."
"Shh... it's okay..." he soothed. But Roy gave him pause for thought.
Ever since his transmutation, he had assumed that he was immortal. He had taken it for granted that he wouldn't die until he had taken out Fawkes and as many of the Predator gang he could get his claws on before they killed him.
But mortality was frighteningly real. Too real for comfort, and the fact that he would have killed Ed or Ed would have killed him was almost too much.
(A/N: The idea of the Nigredo, Albedo, Citrinas and Rubedo, as well as tantric arrays borrowed from Sleeps With Coyotes' fic "Altered States", that story is sexy love.)
Please review, constructive criticism and questions appreciated, flames will be deflected back at you by Roy. n.n;
