Author's Not: Hey guys I know I know it's been forever but I've had exams and especially with science it's very important that I pass them, I've had the ending written for a while it's just the middle I had trouble with verbalizing, anyway enough of my random blabber on with the next chap.

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, everything minus the plot and the O.C's are Joe's So before I find a new writing utensil to fall in love with (jamesnlily4ever holds a picture of her 2B pencil in her hands as tears well up in her eyes) I though that I would dedicate this one to anybody who's ever lost a good writing utensil like I have, whether it be from

A ruthless classroom pencil sharpener or whatever the cause I offer you my condolences.

Chapter 13: …(can't find a title to express the chapter)

Sirius brought his hands down to Nikki's waist and drew her closer up against his body wanting to feel her beside him, as the smell of her hair intoxicated him.

James felt as if everything had stopped as if everything around him had ceased and the only thing existing was the way Lily's lips moved against his and the way her hands rested around his neck. James cursed the lack of oxygen and broke the kiss a smile lingering on his face and said.

"…I guess our friendship is effectively ruined."

Lily chuckled as she broke away from James and seated herself on the ground by the brook "we were never friends Potter."

"Awww" said James with a smirk "I think you can call me James…Now that we've taken our relationship to the next level"

"Sure James" Lily replied sarcastically there are no levels in this relationship

"So you admit it!" Said James "we are in a relationship."

"Shut up," said Lily bringing her hand through her hair concealing a smile

"Awww you know you like it Lily you're probably going to run back to the castle right now so you can send an owl to your parents" said James grinning.

"Keep dreaming James it won't happen again" Lily said lying down thinking about what had just happened. Watching the leaves dance through the air littering it with and abundance of color.

"Lily about what happened" said James turning on his side and looking seriously at Lily

"Oh please Potter don't look so serious we kissed and besides…you kissed me. If everyone you kissed had a relationship with you you'd have had 117 already" said Lily laughing over her shoulder.

James watched her and the way her whole body moved when she laughed in the cutest ways, realizing he was staring he quickly shifted his gaze and replied, "it's actually 118 if you count that one girl from Hufflepuff before we left this morning"

Lily's jaw dropped "you can't keep your tongue in your mouth for more then two minutes can you?"

"Now that's not fair" replied James "I was only kidding."

"Yeah…Okay" said Lily as she stood up and dusted off her pants stretching.

"Wait!" said James as he too got up, half stumbling in his haste "where are you going?"

"I don't know," said Lily "I'm feeling kind of thirsty at the moment, I'm thinking vanilla milkshake, you?"

"Err, okay" said James phased by the lack of conversation on the topic of the shift in their relationship. He'd have to have that conversation later.

"Well Mr. Black" said Nikki breaking the kiss (much to Sirius's disappointment) "how long have you been waiting to do that?"

"Too long" whispered Sirius leaning in to kiss her again"

"Well that was enjoyable," said Lily tossing her cup into a nearby waste can.

"Yep" said James as the once present awkward silence surrounded them again. "Look Lily about what happened" started James. He really wanted to establish where they stood.

"You want to sit down?" asked Lily cutting him off and making her way to a table outside of the Honeydukes.

James following behind her trying to engage her in the conversation. "Seriously Lily" started James grabbing her behind by the arm wanting to have this conversation with her.

"What?" she asked looking anywhere but at him.

"Not that I didn't enjoy what just happened back there, I did it's just you-you hate me Lily."

"So?" Said Lily turning and walking up the cobblestone steps to the grassy hills.

"That's all you have to say Lily so? That can't be all that's on your mind!

"Well it is so I guess you're out of luck Potter!" In all honesty nothing could be farther from the truth, in fact she hadn't thought about anything but the incident since it had happened.

"Out of luck my bloody arse!" yelled James following Lily who was by now making her way up a grassy hill overlooking the shrieking shack. "Lily you've got to tell me what happened up there!" said James coming up behind her.

"I don't have to tell you anything James!" Yelled Lily turning to face him anger beginning to shine on her face.

"Oh yes you do" said James his voice rising "You owe me an explanation."

"An explanation for what?" asked Lily hints of red dabbing her cheeks.

"Lily!" said James exasperated "you kissed me today."

"Yeah" said Lily looking at him quizzically trying to avoid his gaze.

"Lily I've liked you ever since third year" said James "and you've always hated me! I was begging to deal with it, I thought you would never even speak to me, so I think you bloody well do owe me an explanation!"

"I don't want to talk about this right now," Lily said placing a hand to her head as she felt a sudden wave of dizziness. "Let's just forget it ever happened."

"Forget it never happened Jesus Christ Lily!" James said grabbing her by the shoulders and making her look him in the eye, he fought hard to steady his breathing "you can't just kiss me and then pretend like nothing happened why are you acting like this!"

"I'm acting like this because until today Potter I never even talked to you" yelled Lily fighting hard to control her emotions "the only reason I was kissing you was because you kissed me in the first place and it was wrong! It was a mistake!"

"A mistake?" said James stepping back "why was it a mistake?"

"Be-Because I can't be kissing you Potter." Said Lily trying desperately to end the conversation, but James wasn't going down without a fight.

"Oh yeah and why's that?" Asked James sarcastically "because it goes against everything you and your little Potter haters club stands for? What are you braking the sacred oath or something?"

"Ugghhh!" yelled Lily turning on her heel and walking into the main village searching for Nikki. She glanced at the stores she was passing at rapped speed. She sensed James behind her and stopped turning to face him, not at all worried about making a scene. "There's no club Potter," she said as tears of frustration began to fill her eyes "I knew that if I kissed you would want it to mean more… But I don't want it to be" she finished softly glancing away. As tears began to fill her eyes.

The sky became tinted with red as the sun rested itself halfway between the sky and the ground.

"That was interesting," said Nikki smiling as she broke the kiss and wrapped her arms around her body shivering slightly.

"Definitely" said Sirius a smirk on his face as he saw Nikki settle herself under a tree trying to warm her body. "So little miss don't be a wuss Black it's not cold is starting to feel the wind now." He finished sitting by her and wrapping his arms around her.

"Shut up Black" replied Nikki resting her head on his shoulder and drawing her cloak tighter around her body "this doesn't leave Hogsmeade" she whispered.

"No" said Sirius a feeling of uneasiness settling on him, not completely sure if he wanted what had happened that day to stay in Hogsmeade .

"You don't want it to be?" asked James attempting to grasp what Lily was trying to say. "Why not? I know you felt something when you kissed me Lily you can't hide that, you can't just kiss somebody and make it the most amazing time in that persons life and then not feel anything in return. Tell me Lily, tell me why you don't want it to be more!"

"Because I don't want to be the girl you only wanted because you couldn't have her, I don't want to be hurt and I don't want to be pushed aside once you get bored of me!" Lily screamed by now attracting countless puzzled looks from passersby.

"Is that what you think?" asked James running his hands through his hair as if attempting to pull it out. "Is that what you honestly think, that the only reason I want to go out with you is because I can't have you?"

"Yes" said Lily looking at the ground not wanting to look James in the eye.

"Oh that's bullshit!" Cried James "I know you don't believe that Lily."

"Oh come on James" she said slowly raising her head "you may have feelings for me now but after a week with me you'll get bored and you'll leave and find some other girl, because the feelings you have for me aren't real James! Its infatuation that's all." She finished folding her arms around her body feeling cold.

"Okay Lily, fine… yeah I have no feelings for you you're right. I just haven't gone out with anybody since third year because I didn't care about you and I ask you out all the time because I just want to use you and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since first year because it's just infatuation!

"James stop" Lily said weekly not wanting to hear anymore.

"No" said James "I guess I don't care about you at all, you're right I only want you so I can say I've never been rejected" said James his face screwed up to keep tears from falling as he reached into his cloak and threw a bag at Lily's feet.

"There" he said bitterly " tell me I don't care about you Lily" as he turned on his feet and made his way to the carriages out of Hogsmeade.

Lily bent down and picked up the bag lying on the ground and made her way to a nearby bench as the sky became tinted with black as darkness began to fall she reached into the bag and pulled out a small wrapped package. She slowly undid the ribbon and felt a rush of emotion well up inside of her as she ran her fingers over a copy of The Little Princess.

Tears welled inside her eyes and she allowed them to flow freely as she choked for air…What had she done?

Author's note: Anyway I hope you guys liked this update, I now it took a while but I do have exams, they'll be over by the end of the week so maybe you'll have an update by then, oh yeah I also got my comp back so update should be faster please remember to review, it's what keeps me going. Hugsnkisses jamesnlily4ever