Author's note" Woot Woot two chapters in one day and before exams too! Yep I'm slick lol.
Disclaimer: I own nothing as of yet except for my lousy Science mark, everything in italics are Lily's thoughts.
Chapter 14: Finally
Early in the morning, wake up to a bright blue
sky
lightning comes at any time to break it down and make it
ugly
i know that it's just for me
'cause no one else can feel
or understand
that's alright because i can handle all that you
throw down
and i hope you find a perfect place
where sky's
are beautiful all of the time
it's all that matters, pretty,
pretty
and i know that's all you could care about
there's no
reason why you can't
it's all about the icing, and nobody
cares about what's inside
you could see the outside face, it looks
good, it must be great
and i know that's all you see
what would
it matter anyway
'cause i can see right through your pretty,
pretty skin today
and i hope you find a perfect place
where
sky's are beautiful all of the time
it's all that matters, pretty,
pretty
and i know that's all you could care about
there's no
reason why you can't
and no reason why i should try to go on
anymore
my reason's all gone, no reason why you should
try to
make excuses to make me feel alright
excuses call for stupid
reasons
and i know that it's not much that i can offer right
now
just give me one little second and i will try my hardest
to
make you feel like i'm someone else.
Lily stood out in the middle of the quidditch pitch turning her head to the sky and breathing in the scent of lavender that seemed to fill the air. Doing so raising her hands to the sky in surrender as she felt a gust of wind blow across the grass sending her cloak billowing at the bottom caught in the draft. Lily didn't feel the wind though she was trying to sort out the confusing thoughts that were flying through her mind.
James sat on his four poster flipping through a copy of quidditch weekly trying to keep his mind off of what had happened that day, but finding it very difficult to do so.
Lily closed her eyes as she took in steadying breaths willing herself not to cry (she had done to much of that already.) She had made such a mess of everything. But what exactly was everything? She still wasn't sure what all the feelings coursing through her body were; she had never felt anything like this before, not towards James anyway.
Flashes of her smile flickered through his mind as the scent of her hair suffocated him; he could feel the touch of her lips against his and the touch of her hands running through his hair. James opened his eyes and buried his face in his hands. Trying to erase every memory of that afternoon from his thoughts. Damn why did she do this to him? Why her, why did he have to kiss her, the day was fine and then he kissed her! If he hadn't this never would have happened. "UGHH!" James screamed throwing the magazine across the room at the door.
"God" muttered Sirius as he stepped into the room "nice way to greet you mate, real bloody nice" as he stripped down to his boxers and lay on his four poster.
"What are you so pissed at?" asked James eyeing his friend not really caring about the response.
"I could ask you the same question" replied Sirius as he placed his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling trying to clear his mind.
"Yeah but I asked you first mate," said James turning to face his friend his legs crossed.
"IkissedNikki" mumbled Sirius under his breath.
"Sorry what was that?" asked James "couldn't really make that out on the count that, I had no bloody clue what you just said!"
"I said" started Sirius turning on his side to face his friend "I kissed Nikki today."
"Nice" came Remus's Voice from the door to the boy's dormitories picking up the magazine he asked James "can I read this?"
"Knock yourself out" muttered James as he grabbed a chocolate frog from his nightstand. poping it in his mouth and then almost sputtering as he attempted to say something.
"It's okay James," said Remus smiling "we'll still be here once you're done swallowing." He finished ducking a pillow thrown from James's direction.
James swallowed the chocolate and placed his Nicolas Flamel card on his nightstand. "
Where were you today?" he asked the realization that he hadn't seen his mate that entire day dawning on him.
"Just around" Remus said off hand as he flipped through the pages of the magazine but was disturbed when it was ripped from his hands by Sirius who too seemed to be very interested in his mates disappearance.
"Jenny and I thought it would be smart if we left you guys alone today" he started "so that you guys could sort things out with your sweet hearts while we sat outside the shrieking sack."
"Oh well thanks for that mate because our days turned out bloody perfect," said James his voice rising.
"Calm down mate" said Remus eyeing his two friends quizzically "what the bloody hell happened today?"
"Well" said Sirius as he sat up in his bed "I kissed Nikki."
"That's great," said Remus the confusion evident on his face.
Why had I reacted that way? Lily thought to herself, things would be a lot less confusing if I hadn't even kissed him in the first place.
But if you hadn't kissed him you would have missed out on the best moment in your life.
"I know!" yelled Lily to the quiddictch pitch but immediately regretted it as the echo of her words ringed throughout the entire field making her feel a hundred times worse. True the kiss had been perfect, but it was from J-Potter! I can't feel that from him, she thought angrily to herself.
But you do.
I know! Lily thought to herself for the second time. She was finding it hard to admit but being with James that day had felt better then anything else had for a long time, he had made her feel safe, and at ease and for the first time since arriving at Hogwarts on the train this year…Happy. But could she really allow herself to feel happy? Especially when the source of her happiness was James Potter?
"Actually not so much" Sirius said toying with the ends of his sheet.
"What?" Asked Remus "she's beautiful, why would kissing her be a bad thing?"
"Yeah Padfoot" said James eyeing Sirius "now you can say you've nearly kissed every girl in the year!"
"Shut up Prongs" said Sirius not to keen on the current subject he asked James "when I came in here I almost got knocked out with a copy of quidditch weekly, why were you so upset for?"
"Nothing" said James sorry that he had even asked.
"Bullshit Prongs" said Sirius smiling "when I came in here you were as somber as Snivellus."
She sat herself on the Gryffindor bench and reached inside the pocket of her robes and pulled out the book trailing her hand over it's cover tracing her finger over each letter and allowing memories of her mother wash over her as the tears flew freely down her cheeks.
"I wish that she was here" Lily whispered, wondering what her mother would do in her place.
She wouldn't be sitting alone on the quidditch pitch crying that's for sure she thought to herself. She'd know exactly what to do.
"I just wish that I did," she said running a hand threw her hair.
"It's nothing Sirius just drop it" James said.
"Oh come on mate" said Remus setting aside the magazine "Sirius told us about kissing Nikki, even though I'm not sure why he's so pissed at it for. So I think it's safe for you to tell us what happened between you and Lily today."
"Nothing happened between me and Lily" said James through gritted teeth.
"Sure" said Sirius making his way to the loo.
"Okay something did happen between me and Lily today," said James pulling on his jeans and a faded T-shirt, but it's not going to happen again."
"Why?" asked Remus standing up.
"Because, it was a mistake" he answered quietly.
"Oh please" said Remus "I don't think that you could think anything happening between you and Lily could be a mistake."
"No" said James turning his back from Remus so that he wouldn't see his tears, "But she did" and with that he exited the boys dormitories.
Images of that day floated through Lily's mind, she could see his smile as he broke the kiss and could feel the touch of his lips on hers. Lily subconsciously trailed her tongue along her jawline. Being with him today had been perfect, but he had wanted an explanation.
"Why couldn't he just leave it?" Lily said to the wind.
For the same reason you can't her voice answered because you knew it was right.
True it had been right and it had felt amazing but there was nothing she could do about it now.
James slammed shut the door to the boy's dormitories and made his way down the stairs into the common room. Startling a group of second years who seemed to be gathered around a rather dodgy set of chocolate frog cards. Knowing that he didn't want to be around anybody he climbed through the portrait hole and began down the step leading from the Gryffindor common room into the corridors, he didn't care if her got caught. He just needed to be alone…Images of Lily's face as he threw the bag at her and left kept flickering through his mind. She looked so hurt and sad. James felt a pang of guilt rush through him as he thought of what he had said to her. In truth he hadn't meant any of it and he regretted saying it at all. He would always care about her, having her call it a mistake had destroyed him, he had always known she had hated him but hearing those words from her had finalized everything. God what he would give to change it all…
To have one more chance.
Lily stood up and stared into the sky. She was tired of pretending and tired of ignoring everything she felt, she had to come to grips with it. She knew she had felt something when she had kissed James, she knew that she wouldn't be able to forget it and most importantly she knew that she cared for him more deeply then she could have imagined and that at that moment there was nowhere else she wanted to be at that moment then with him.
But would he still feel the same? She found that it didn't really matter she just needed to see him. She placed the book back into her cloak when she felt droplets of rain began to fall on her face. She ran a hand through her mane of firey red hair which was by now damp with the new fallen rain and took a deep breath calming herself for what she was about to do. Slowly she began to walk to the castle but those footsteps became faster as her anticipation grew and soon she was no longer walking but running, running with every fiber of her being, running to what she had denied herself for so long, running to love.
James rounded the corner to the entrance hall with his eyes on the ground cursing himself for what he had let happen, he could hear footfalls in the distance but could see nothing as the torches lighting the entrance hall only allowed for about a foot of light on either side. After a quick glance around the Great Hall James again lowered his head to the ground and wallowed in his thoughts. But the footfalls instead of getting quieter were growing louder. James slowly lifted his gaze from the ground to face who was coming but was entirely unprepared for what he saw. Emerging into the light a slightly wet and out of breath Lily made her way over to James, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear.
"Hey" said James taking a step towards her.
"Hey" said Lily quietly moving closer to James wondering how to word what she wanted to say.
"Listen" started James "about today. It's okay I understand."
"James" started Lily, but James cut in.
"No, Lily I really need to say this" said James raising his hand and avoiding her gaze. "I understand how you feel a-and it's fine if you don't feel the same way as I do, it's okay. I'll leave you alo-."
But James didn't get to finish what he was about to say for Lily stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a kiss. Lily poured every ounce of emotion that she was feeling into the kiss as she felt James begin to kiss back.
James was completely caught off guard, once he realized what she was doing he began to kiss back and placed his arms around her waist drawing her closer as his tongue trailed along the bottom of her jawline begging for entrance and she gladly obliged, feeling him smile into the kiss.
Lily slowly broke the kiss looking into his eyes and whispered "I'm tired of running."
"Finally" James breathed smiling and capturing her lips in his and at that moment everything felt as it should. Nothing existed except the two of them there in the moment, a moment where their passion was all consuming and their love over powering, both felt as if they were experiencing happiness for the first time pure bliss that neither wished to end.
Author's Note: Oh yeah K guys since I posted two chapters I want two reviews k? hugsnkisses jamesnlily4ever.
