Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
GENESIS

The light was dim, the way ahead barely visible, but Justin seemed to know instinctively where he was going. Kathryn followed him down the long corridor, the floor creaking at their weight and the sound echoing all around.

"I hope this floor is safe," Kathryn said, half joking, half serious. "I don't want to fall through another ceiling."

"It's safe," Justin smiled. "We've always made sure all used areas of the ship are well maintained."

He stopped at a single silver door before him, pressed a button, and the door opened. He gestured for Kathryn to enter, which she did, and then followed her inside.

Kathryn looked up and around. The room was small, windowless, but was full of all kinds of curious objects.

"We didn't want to recycle everything we found on the ship," Justin explained. "We didn't know what any of these things did so we thought it best to just store them."

Kathryn picked up a curious looking black ball with white spikes and studied it a moment, trying to think what it could be. But, not being able to come to any conclusions, she put it down again.

"Mind if I look around?"

"Not at all," Justin replied. "Go ahead. It will probably take me a while to find the coil Lieutenant Torres wants anyway. I know I put it in here somewhere, but I can' remember where exactly."

As Kathryn began to look around the room, Justin went over to a set of silver drawers and began to look through them.

Kathryn looked in awe at all the interesting objects around her. They were all kinds of shapes, all kinds of colors. Her eyes fell upon a gray cupboard to her left and she ventured over to it. It looked like a wardrobe and might contain a few Moralyn garments. She was curious about their fashion. The doors were stiff and it took some tugging to release them, but at last they creaked open.

Kathryn gasped at what she saw. Inside appeared to be rows and rows of humanoid fetuses in jars of blue gel. Her eyes wandered from row to row. All the babies were at different stages of development. Some were only tiny embryos where as others were close to new born.

"Justin," she said. "Have you seen these?"

"Yes," Justin replied. "We stole them when we escaped. Some of the women held with us were pregnant when they died. But when they were revived, their babies had gone. When we were making our escape, Lawrence and I saw this cupboard in a lab room. It was open and they were clearly preparing to do something with them. We didn't know what they were going to do ... revive them or clone them or what. So, once we were on the ship, we transported them along with as many people as we could before the clinic's defense shield activated." He paused. "There may have been more, I don't know, but we couldn't leave them there. Conducting experiments on adults is one thing, but to grow children for the singular purpose of experimenting on them is just inhumane."

Kathryn picked up a jar and studied the baby inside. It was a little girl, a perfect little girl of about twenty weeks. She had tiny hands and feet and her little eyes were closed, as though she was sleeping. Kathryn touched the glass tenderly, almost a mark of respect for the tiny human being inside.

"If they are human," Kathryn said, "then there's a good chance the Doctor will be able to determine their parentage with DNA tests. We may not be able to do anything else for them, but we can at least give them an identity."


"Apple Pie, Commander?"

Chakotay looked up from the cold coffee in his hands and found Roxa standing before him with a large apple pie on a plate, cut up into several slices.

"No, thank you," he said quietly.

Roxa went on her way and Chakotay returned to his coffee.

"Mind if I join you?"

The voice was B'Elanna's.

"Not at all," Chakotay replied. "Have a seat."

B'Elanna sat opposite, a cut of coffee in her hands.

"How are you feeling about everything today?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he answered sadly. "Not here."

"I'm really sure you're worrying about nothing," B'Elanna replied. "What happened between the Captain and Lieutenant Tighe was almost twenty years ago. Both their lives have moved on."

"Kathryn's might have," Chakotay answered. "But his hasn't."

"Of course it has. He was married, has a daughter..."

Chakotay looked up at her at this. "He does?"

B'Elanna nodded. Then she gestured to a little girl with long brown hair who was sitting next to Naomi. "That little girl over there, the one with the long brown hair... she's his daughter... Heidi."

Chakotay turned back to B'Elanna. "You said was married. What happened to his wife?"

"She died of an illness four years ago." She paused. "But he hasn't pined for the captain all these years. And while the captain is no doubt overwhelmed by finding him again, that doesn't mean she wants him instead of you." She paused again. "Have you talked to her about it? Told her how you feel?"

"I've barely seen her long enough to say five words," Chakotay replied. "I was asleep last night when she returned from dining with her father and she had already left our quarters when I woke up this morning."

"Then I think you should talk to her," B'Elanna said. "Tell her how you feel."

"I don't think it would do any good," Chakotay answered. "Possibly make things worse. She's probably going through a whole range of emotions right now. She doesn't need to deal with mine too. And I don't want her to think I don't trust her. I do, completely. It's just the situation ... what he meant to her once."

"And I'm sure she'll understand that. Most of us would feel insecure in your shoes. But I'm sure with all that I am that you're worrying for nothing. Just talk to her, Chakotay. Let her know how you feel."


"I've never seen anything like these asteroids," Kathryn said, gazing out at the natural wonder from a chair in Justin's room on his ship. He, and several others, were remaining on their ship until living space on Voyager had been created for them. All those who could be accommodated into dorms had been, but families and seniors were going to have to wait until several unused rooms could be converted into quarters. "They're like drops of rainbow."

"They are pretty," Justin answered. "But after years of seeing them every day, I kind of don't notice them any more."

Kathryn turned to look at him and couldn't help gaze.

Justin smiled. "Thinking how much I've changed?"

"No," Kathryn replied. "Quite the contrary. You look just like I remember you." She lowered her eyes. "But I must have changed. I'm not a young woman any more."

"You look just the same to me, Kath," he said quietly.

Kathryn looked up and they gazed into each other's eyes until she broke the connection and got to her feet, turning to the window as she did so.

"Oh Justin," she said quietly. "It wasn't meant to end this way. We had so many plans, so many dreams... How you must have resented me all these years..."

Justin got his feet and joined her at the window. "Resent you? How can you think that?"

"Because if it wasn't for me, you'd never have been in that shuttle. You wouldn't have lost all these years of your life."

Justin turned her gently towards him, tears in his eyes. "I was never alive until I met you, Kathryn. I was dead inside, empty. I treated you terribly and yet you still cared for me. You saw something in me that no one else saw and you made me feel... And you made me not afraid to feel... You taught me that I could love someone, that I could be loved... I'm not sorry. I never could be." He paused. "There's been a lot of pain ... losing you, then Liesl, but there's been a lot of joy too. I have no regrets, Kathryn."

They gazed deep into each other's eyes, losing themselves. Justin brushed his fingers against Kathryn's cheek and then slowly, gently, brought his lips down to hers in a tender kiss. As his lips touched hers, Kathryn felt herself fall through time, to another place, another existence, to a night long ago when he had kissed her for the last time like this beneath a sky full of stars...

As they drew away, their eyes found each other's again. Justin stroked Kathryn's cheek gently and then brought his lips down to kiss her again. But this time Kathryn drew away.

"No," she said. "Chakotay..."

"You don't belong with him, Kathryn," Justin replied gently. "You belong with me."

"Chakotay's my husband..."

"He doesn't have to be. We're meant to be together... we always were. I love you, more than he ever could. And I can tell you still love me too."

"I will always love you, Justin. But I love Chakotay too and my life is with him now..."

"He's not right for you," Justin continued. "With him you'll never be true to yourself. He can't bring out the best in you. How can he? Look at his culture, what he believes in... You need someone on your wave length, someone who understands what drives you..."

"Chakotay understands me better than anyone..."

"But he's a pagan, you're an atheist. You're so different..."

"No, we're not... not in ways that matter..."

Justin put his hands on her shoulders. "Marry me, Kathryn. We have a second chance. We can't lose each other again, not again. Leave Chakotay and marry me..."

The doors suddenly opened and Heidi came in. She lingered in the doorway at the sight of her father with Kathryn and her bright eyes dulled. She wasn't used to unfamiliar people. There was a rag doll in her arms and she was holding it tight.

Justin turned to his daughter. "What are you doing here Miss Tighe," he said affectionately.

The little girl looked at Kathryn rather warily and then addressed her father. "I wanted to show you what Seven of Nine gave me."

Justin smiled. "Did she give you that dolly?"

Heidi nodded and took the doll over to her father. "She has a beautiful dress, doesn't she Papa?"

"Very beautiful," Justin said, looking at the silver gown. "I hope you said thank you to Seven of Nine."

"I did," Heidi smiled.

Kathryn interrupted. "I'd better get back to Voyager..."

Justin turned his attention away from his daughter to his former fiancé. "Just remember what I said, Kathryn. You know in your heart I'm right."

Kathryn made no reply. She just hit her commbadge. "Janeway to Voyager. Beam me up."

Seconds later, she dematerialized.


Alone in her ready room, Kathryn gazed at a picture on her monitor of her and Chakotay on their wedding day. They both looked so happy, and the memories brought tears to her eyes.

The door chime sounded and Kathryn cleared the picture as she gave out the entry command.

"Come in."

Chakotay came in. He hesitated before speaking and was visibly uncomfortable.

"The crew are wondering what's happening ... how long we are going to stay stationary."

Kathryn got to her feet. "As long as it takes for us to check out everything on the ship and make an inventory. Before we leave we're going to have to destroy that ship so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. We don't want to destroy anything that might be of use to us or the Federation."

"I'll make an announcement to the crew."

There was an awkward silence until Chakotay broke it.

"Do you have any lunch plans?"

"Actually yes," Kathryn answered. "I'm dining with Seven and a few of our new passengers."

"I see," Chakotay replied. "I guess I'll see you this evening then."

Kathryn nodded. "I was thinking of inviting my father to dine with us so you could get to know him better."

Chakotay's dull eyes lit up a little at this. "That would be great."

Kathryn drew away from her desk and slowly walked over to him.

"Chakotay ... There's something I have to tell you."

Chakotay swallowed, not liking her tone. "Go on."

Kathryn fidgeted with her commbadge and was clearly struggling to say what she wanted too. "Justin and I we ... We kissed."

Pain knifed Chakotay's heart and he lowered his eyes.

"It was just a moment," Kathryn tried to explain. "Hardly anything at all and I didn't mean for it to happen..."

Chakotay looked up at her and saw tears in her eyes and so much pain.

"I love you," she continued. "And I'm so sorry..."

Tears welled in Chakotay's eyes too. "I'll be on the bridge if you need me."

With that he turned around to leave. Kathryn caught his arm.

"No, Chakotay. Wait..."

Chakotay turned to her again. "This isn't the time or the place, Kathryn. We've got a ship to run."

With that, he left the room. Tears welled in Kathryn's eyes and she turned from the door to the window. There had been so much hurt in Chakotay's eyes ... so much anguish.

"Doctor to Captain Janeway. Please report to sickbay."

It was a moment before Kathryn could respond.

"On my way, Doctor."


When Kathryn arrived at sickbay, she found the Doctor cradling a tiny black baby in his arms.

"Say hello to our youngest passenger," the Doctor smiled.

Kathryn gazed at the beautiful baby, carefully wrapped in a blue blanket. "He's adorable," Kathryn smiled. "I presume he's a he?"

"Yes, Captain," the Doctor replied. "A perfectly healthy human male."

Kathryn looked at the baby a moment longer and then up at the Doctor. "What did you want to see me about?"

"Why, this little fellow of course," the Doctor said, rather surprised at the question.

"What about him?"

"You really are slow today, Captain. Only three hours ago he was in one of those jars..."

Kathryn's eyes widened in astonishment. "You mean he's one of..."

"Yes, Captain. As soon as I took him out of his jar, his heart began to beat."

"But that's impossible, Doctor..."

"Evidently not..."

"But how?"

"All I can conclude, Captain, is that he never died, that he was, in a manner of speaking, frozen alive and preserved in that gel. Regardless of external temperature, it maintained his body at sub zero temperatures. When I took him out of the jar into our warm Voyager climate, his body temperature increased and his heart began to beat. Once I was aware what was happening, I put him in an incubator and regulated the temperature to ensure he didn't warm up too fast."

"Have you been able to identify his parents?"

"Yes. A Martina Radcliffe and Joseph Potter."

"Are either of them now on Voyager?"

"No," the Doctor continued. "And, according to our Federation database, Martina Radcliffe is very much alive and lives in Canada."

Kathryn frowned. "But if she was not taken by the Moralyn, how would they have her baby?"

"I did some further research, and discovered that Martina Radcliffe was in a boating accident twenty one years ago. She and four female friends were taking a boat ride on the Atlantic Ocean when their ship capsized. Martina and a lady named Lucy Dutton, were the only survivors. The bodies of the others were never recovered. I think the Moralyn took them like they did your father, but that they also took Martina Radcliffe and Lucy Dutton, subjected them to biometric examination, and then returned them to where they had found them."

"How would that explain the baby?"

"I think that during the examination they extracted several eggs from Martina's ovaries and later fertilized them with sperm they had extracted from other abductees. According to our database, Joseph Potter went missing on Mount Everest in 2356, never to be seen again."

"It would make sense, Doctor," Kathryn answered. "But why would they need to take eggs from someone like Martina Radcliffe? Why not just take them from women they had revived?"

"I don't know, Captain. Perhaps they were looking for a specific gene and Martina Radcliffe had it."

Kathryn turned to look at the cupboard of fetuses.

"How long do you reckon they can be kept in those jars without damage?"

"Indefinitely."

"Then I don't want you to disturb any more."

"But we can't just leave them in the jars, Captain. They're human beings!"

"I'm well aware of that," Kathryn answered. "But we just don't have the facilities to care for so many babies on Voyager. Firstly we would need to provide artificial wombs for those below certain development and others would need special neonate care. It's best if we leave them as they are until we reach the Federation. Then they can be given all the care and love they need either by their relatives or adoptive families."

She turned back to the baby and stroked his hair. "This little fellow we'll try to find a home for on Voyager. I'm sure there'll be a couple willing to give him one."


On the holodeck, Chakotay pounded a boxing bag with his fists, exerting a mighty force. From the doorway, Kathryn watched. She couldn't help shiver at what she saw. She had never seen Chakotay this way before, never seen so much anger or aggression ... or so much strength.

After a while, he drew away from the bag, bent over, and tried to catch his breath. In the corner of his eye he saw a figure watching, and looked up to find Kathryn standing there.

Slowly, she bridged the gap between them. "We need to talk, Chakotay."

Chakotay gestured to a bench and Kathryn made her way over to it. He then picked up a towel, dried his sweating face and neck, and then sat beside her.

"I know I've hurt you," she said quietly, "and I'm not going to make any excuses. But I want you to know that I love you and I'm deeply sorry."

"I know you love me," Chakotay said quietly. "But the question is, do you love him more?"

Kathryn looked up at him. "No, of course not. Don't think that for a moment..."

Chakotay met her tortured eyes. "Then why did you kiss him?"

"I don't know ... it just happened..."

Chakotay broke away from her and got to his feet, anger rising. "Things don't just happen..."

Kathryn got to her feet too. "I'm sorry, Chakotay. I wasn't even..."

"You want him, don't you? That's the truth..."

"No..."

"So you're saying you feel nothing for him, is that it?"

"No, I... I feel ... how could I not? But my life is with you now and I wouldn't have it any other way..."

"Yes you would!" Chakotay cried. "If you had known last Christmas that we'd find Justin, you'd never have had a relationship with me..."

"If I had known all that I do now, I would have had a relationship with you a long time ago ... You're the one I love, Chakotay. You're the one I want. Just you. I don't know what happened with Justin. It just happened..." Tears flooded her eyes. "And I'm so sorry, Chakotay. I love you so much..."

Chakotay took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, and tossed the towel to the bench. He then wearily leant against a bar running the length of the wall.

"I know you, Kathryn," he said quietly. "You will sacrifice what you want to do what is right by others. I need the truth. Do you want to be with Justin?"

"No," Kathryn said, going over to him. "I want to be with you. I love you. You, Silvie and Stevie ... you're my family..."

"I don't want you to stay with me for Silvie and Stevie," Chakotay replied. "You wouldn't be happy, not really. I want you to stay with me because you want to be with me."

Kathryn put her hand on his shoulder. "I do, Chakotay. I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. And I'm so sorry I kissed him ... You're the one I want. Only you."

Chakotay turned to her slowly, his tone softening. "Did you really kiss him, Kathryn, or did he kiss you?" He could just imagine Justin trying to manipulate her that way, and Kathryn always heaped the blame for everything on herself.

Kathryn lowered her eyes. "I suppose he kissed me ... but I let him..." She looked up at him. "But I'm so sorry, Chakotay. I'm so sorry..."

There was so much pain in her eyes, so much regret. Chakotay reached out and put his hand to her cheek. "It's alright, Kathryn. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," she answered. "I betrayed you..."

Chakotay put his hands on her shoulders now. "No you haven't, Kathryn. You loved him. He was going to be your husband. It's not an ordinary situation. It would be unnatural if you didn't feel something for him." He paused. "But you're being honest and sincere with me and that's faithfulness." Tears welled in his eyes. "I've been so scared that I would lose you."

A tear ran down Kathryn's cheek. "Never, Chakotay." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I don't want anyone but you. No one but you."

Chakotay kissed her hair and they held each other close.


So far, all was going well with the meal. There had been no cooking disasters, and Kathryn happily observed that her father and Chakotay were getting along well. They had a mutual interest in history and the outdoors, and already her father was musing about them all taking a camping trip when they got home.

"It would be good for the twins, Kathryn," he said, taking a sip of water. "I'm sure you could put up with it for only a couple of weeks."

Kathryn smiled. "Was my disdain that obvious?"

"Crystal clear." He turned to Chakotay. "She would spend the whole two weeks moaning about the bugs and the sun because of her freckles, and would sit inside her tent almost the whole time studying."

"Sounds like Kathryn," Chakotay said warmly. "When we were on New Earth, she did nothing but work."

"I was trying to find us a cure," Kathryn said in defense of herself. She explained to her father. "Chakotay and I were bitten by insects during an away mission to an m-class planet and caught a virus. The Doctor couldn't find a cure so we had to leave Voyager and set up home on the planet. Something in the planet's atmosphere stopped us from being sick. I was trying to find out what it was."

"Did you succeed?"

"No. I might have, but all my research equipment was damaged during a plasma storm. I had to abandon the quest."

"How did you come to leave the planet then?"

"The crew managed to get a cure from the Vidians and came back for us."

Edward turned to Chakotay. "Did you go on camping trips as a boy?"

"I guess you could call them kind of camping trips," Chakotay replied. "My father would take me every now and then into the woods for a few days so I could learn how to connect with nature. He would teach me various skills he thought I would need in life... hunting, making things from wood, identifying various plant forms. We learnt some of those things at school, but not everything."

"I thought your people were vegetarians," Kathryn commented. "Why would you need to learn hunting?"

"My people are carnivores. Becoming a vegetarian was something I choose to do."

Edward questioned. "What made you decide?"

"Funnily enough a hunting trip I went on with my father. We did things the old way on Trebus, hunted with a gun. My father gave me a gun, showed me how to use it, and told me to go and get a rabbit for supper. So, I did what I was told and went to find one. I thought it would be easy, but my aim was terrible and I kept missing every rabbit I saw. With every miss I was determined the next would be a hit and eventually was successful." He paused. "But when I went to collect the rabbit, I found that she was still alive. She was lying on the ground, bleeding from the bullet hole and panting from the pain. She looked up at me with sheer terror and the bulge under her belly told me she was pregnant. I was absolutely horrified at what I had done and I just wanted to make it right somehow. So, I gently picked the rabbit up, wrapped her in my shirt, and took her to my father, saying we had to make her better. He was just as horrified but for different reasons. He said I was weak, that if I didn't toughen up I would only ever be half a man. I knew he would rant like that until he had bullied me into killing the rabbit, so I just left him and took the rabbit home to my mother. I thought she would make her better. But she didn't. She just killed her anyway and made us all rabbit stew for dinner." He paused again. "I was angry and told my parents they were barbaric to kill innocent animals for food when they didn't need to eat them, and that I would never eat meat again. At first, I admit, it was more to spite them than from personal conviction, but that soon became the case."

"It doesn't sound as though your relationship with your parents was all that good," Edward commented.

"I was close to my mother," Chakotay answered, "but my relationship with my father was always difficult."

"Why was that?"

"Because I resented him for not being there when I was growing up. He would always be off on some quest or other and sometimes I wouldn't see him for months. When he was away, my uncle thought it was his place to take charge of us, and he was a difficult, violent, man."

Kathryn swallowed. "Violent?"

"He liked his own way, set us harsh rules to follow..." He tried to change the subject. "This lasagne is good. I think I'll have some more."

"I think I will too," Edward smiled. "It's been a long time since I tasted good home coming. I never knew you were such a good cook, Kathryn."

Chakotay couldn't help tease. "We've trained the replicator well."

He smiled warmly at Kathryn and then helped himself to more lasagne. Kathryn watched him sadly. Knowing him aswell as she did, she knew he had deliberately changed the subject, and it made her uneasy, concerned, and wanting to probe further. When they were alone later, she would.


While she waited for Chakotay to finish taking a shower, Kathryn sat in bed, Petal at her feet, reading an essay Icheb had written on the history and influence of alien mythology. Everytime she thought she was getting to the end, she discovered there was at least another page.

At last Chakotay appeared, wrapped in his robe.

"Not working," Kathryn said, before he had the chance to say anything, "just reading an essay Icheb has written."

Chakotay smiled. "If the essays he's written me in the past are anything to go by, I'd class it as work."

He took off his robe and Kathryn watched as he put on his pyjamas. At one time he had only worn boxer shorts to bed, but since Silvie and Stevie had arrived, he had taken to wearing pyjamas incase he had to get up in the night.

Kathryn put down the padd in her hands and then gently nudged the sleeping dog at her feet with her foot.

"Time for bed, Petal, old-girl," she said. "Beddie time."

The dog obediently jumped from the bed and made her way to her own bed in the corner of the room. Once there, she curled up into a ball and went back to sleep.

Chakotay climbed into bed and piled up his pillows behind him. "Don't stop reading on my account. I've got a book I can read for a while..."

"I think I've read enough for tonight," Kathryn replied.

Chakotay settled against the pillows and Kathryn gazed at him sadly.

"Chakotay, what you said at dinner ... about your uncle..."

The words caused Chakotay to tense. "What about him?"

"You said he was violent.." She paused. "Was he... Was he violent with you?"

Chakotay's kind eyes dulled and he averted them. "Yes," he said quietly.

Kathryn lay a gentle hand on his arm. "What would he do to you?"

"He would beat me," Chakotay replied. "He used to beat my brothers as well, but not as much as he did me. I defied him more, would fight back."

Tears welled in Kathryn's eyes. "How... How did he beat you?"

"Belt, hands, feet, whip... whatever was present at the time." He paused, the memory hurting. "When I was ten years old he beat me so hard that he broke three of my ribs."

"Oh Chakotay," Kathryn whispered. "My darling..." She drew him close and held him tight, crushing him against her. It was all so clear now ... why he had resented his father so much, why he had wanted to leave the tribe.

"Why haven't you ever told me?"

"It's not something I like to talk about," he replied.

"But you should have, Chakotay," she said drawing away. "You shouldn't have kept something like this to yourself."

"It was a long time ago," Chakotay said quietly.

Kathryn put her hand to his cheek. "That doesn't make it any less relevant." Her hand moved to his hair and she brushed it away from his temple. "How old were you when he first hit you?"

"About five or six. The beating got worse as I got older."

"Did you tell your father? Your mother?"

"No," Chakotay replied. "There didn't seem any point. My father had left him in charge so it seemed he had his consent to treat us that way. And he was good at making you feel bad about yourself, that you'd deserved the beating. So I'd try to hide my wounds from my mother so she wouldn't be angry with me too."

"But didn't she suspect ... notice something was wrong?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I think she must have, but maybe she was too afraid of him to confront him." He paused. "My father wasn't a violent man, quite the contrary, and would have been angry had he known, but back then I didn't realize that. I just blamed him for leaving us in our uncle's care, for not protecting us."

Kathryn took his hands in hers. "I'm so sorry, Chakotay. So sorry."

"That's why I took up boxing," he continued. "It wasn't called that in the tribe, but that's essentially what it was. I wanted to learn how to defend myself. Needed too. I practised a lot and I got good. When I was sure I was good enough, I fought my uncle back and, well, let's just say he came off worse that time." He paused. "I told him he could expect more of the same if he laid a finger on me or my brothers again. And he never did."

Kathryn squeezed his hand. "Is he the real reason you left the tribe?"

"I suppose he was a part of the reason," Chakotay explained. "But the main reason was I wanted to explore space. But if it wasn't for him, I doubt I would have had the impetus to leave. I was so angry at my father for leaving us with him that it overweighed any loyalty I felt to him or any duty as the first born son." He paused. "My uncle died not long after my fifteenth birthday and that's what really gave me the freedom to leave. I would never have left Rennay and the others with him. I think that's why she... Rennay... bonded with me so much. Our father was never home, my brothers didn't have any time for her, and our uncle frightened her. She once said to me that I was the only person in the world she felt truly safe with. I suppose because I was the only one who stood up to our uncle." He paused. "I resented the tribe, resented almost everything that had been a part of that existence. I wanted to make a new life, a better life. I promised Rennay that she would be a part of that new life too, that one day she could come and live with me in San Francisco." He paused. "But she never did come. She liked it too much in the tribe to leave. Maybe I would have too if my uncle hadn't treated me the way he did, but I just had to get away ... make a new life for myself."

"And I'm glad that you did," Kathryn said softly. "So glad."

Chakotay smiled wanly and Kathryn drew him close.

"And I promise that you will never know that pain again because I am going to love you with all that I am for the rest of my life."

Chakotay buried his face in Kathryn's soft hair.

"And I you, Kathryn," he whispered. "And I you."


Silvia gazed up at her mother as Kathryn changed her diaper the following morning.

"There," Kathryn said, when the diaper was in place. "Who's a clean girl now?"

She smiled at her daughter and ticked under her chin. Silvie's mouth turned up and gave a little smile in return. Kathryn's heart skipped a beat at this very first smile and she kissed Silvie's cheek before raising her into her arms.

Celes emerged from the bathroom.

"She smiled," Kathryn said happily. "Right this moment..."

Celes went over to Silvie and took her little hand in hers. "Aren't you a clever little girl then?"

Silvie smiled again and both Kathryn and Celes laughed softly.

The door chime sounded and Kathryn called out. "Come in!"

The doors opened and Justin came in.

Celes took Silvie from her mother. "I'll take her to the nursery."

When she was gone, Justin bridged the gap between him and Kathryn.

"I want to say I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I had no right to ask of you what I did. I was just ... being so close to you ... remembering ... But you're a married woman with children and I should never have asked you to leave your husband for me. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I think we both got a little swept away by the feelings we once had and the memories," Kathryn replied. "But you're right. We both have different lives now. You're a father to little Heidi and I'm a wife and mother." Tears welled in her eyes. "A part of me will always love you, Justin, very much. But what we had belongs to yesterday, a yesterday I will always cherish." She paused. "I remember the last time you kissed me. It was the night before the accident. We took a walk in the grounds near my home and you took me in your arms and kissed me beneath the stars. And that's how I'm always going to remember our last kiss. I'd like you to do the same."

Justin nodded. He then held his hand out to her. "Friends?"

Kathryn smiled and took his hand in hers. "Friends."


Three times Kathryn's journey to sick-bay was interrupted by someone stopping her on the way, but at last she arrived there. She found the Doctor working in his office.

"You wanted to see me again, Doctor," Kathryn said, making her way over to his desk.

"Yes, Captain," he replied. "Take a seat."

Kathryn sat down.

"Through micro-cellular extraction by transportation," the Doctor began, "I have managed to identify the parents of every one of the babies in storage." He paused. "Two of them are yours, Captain."

Kathryn's face paled and she was a moment in answering. "Mine?"

"There's no doubt. Both are female, at the same fetal stage of development, but have different fathers."

There was no need to ask how it could have happened. The answer was clear. She had been taken by the Moralyn like Martina Radcliffe had been, had several of her eggs extracted during biometric examination, and then returned to the planet."

"Who are their fathers?" She asked quietly.

"A John Wilkinson from Australia and a Warner Andersen from Norway. Both were lost in maritime accidents twenty years ago."

Kathryn got up from her chair and went over to the window of the Doctor's office. Through it she could see the open cupboard of fetuses.

"Show me which ones they are, Doctor."

"Very well," he replied. "Come with me."

Kathryn followed him out of the room and over to the cupboard. The Doctor had labeled all the jars with the parental identity of all the babies. He removed a very small jar that wasn't much taller than a mug, and handed it to Kathryn. Inside was a tiny, tiny, baby, not much bigger than her thumb. And yet it seemed perfectly formed.

"And this is the other," the Doctor said, holding an identical jar in his hands.

Kathryn looked at the tiny occupant of the jar and then back at the one in her hands.

"Are they in stasis too, Doctor?"

"I don't know," the Doctor answered. "The only way to know for sure would be to bring them out of the jar. But if they were frozen alive, then bringing them out of the jar will kill them. They will only survive and thrive in an artificial womb as they have no amniotic sac or placenta of their own." He paused. "I conducted several other tests and from them was able to produce a rough projection of their appearance. Would you like to see?"

"Yes," Kathryn replied.

The Doctor activated the projection and the images of two little girls materialized before her. The first one had long blonde hair and blue eyes and the second had long ginger hair with a face full of freckles.

"Oh Doctor," Kathryn whispered, her heart already filling with love for the two children.

She stepped closer to the little red haired girl and touched her transparent face. She looked so much like the child that had once looked back at her in the mirror.

“Transferring a fetus to an artificial womb always carries some risk,” the Doctor said, “but if you wish I can attempt to do them both this afternoon. I have no appointments or engagements.”

"No," Kathryn said quietly. There was no way that she and Chakotay could look after another two babies and run Voyager. Looking after Silvie and Stevie was difficult enough. "Let them sleep for a little while longer. Just a little while."


The bridge was quiet when Kathryn arrived there, only Chakotay, Tuvok and Harry were present. Tuvok was busy working his console but Chakotay and Harry seemed to be doing more talking than working. Kathryn couldn't help smile at the sight of the young ensign casually sitting in her seat, leaning over slightly to talk to Chakotay. She walked over to him, her eyes sparkling.

"You might be the captain someday, Ensign, but not today."

At the sound of the Captain's voice, Harry got to his feet. "Captain ... I was just ... I was..."

"It's alright," Kathryn smiled. "Be my guest." She turned to Chakotay. "Chakotay, my ready room."

With that she turned towards the ready room and Chakotay followed.


Inside the ready room, Kathryn went over to the replicator and replicated a cup of coffee.

"Decaffeinated," she smiled at her husband, "fortified with vitamins. Want one?"

"I wouldn't mind," Chakotay smiled in return.

Kathryn replicated him one and then took it over to him.

She then made her way to her couch, talking as she did so.

"You know," she began hesitantly, "how you said you would have loved and accepted Oliver as your own?"

"Yes," Chakotay answered, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Did you mean it?"

Chakotay went to sit beside her.

"I wouldn't have said it otherwise," he answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because it seems that while I was unconscious on the planet following the crash, I was taken by the Moralyn and subjected to biometric examination. They took several of my eggs and later fertilized them." She paused. "The reason I know this is because two female fetuses in the jars I told you about are mine..." She looked up at him. "I may have had no part in their conception, Chakotay, but I want to raise them ... would like us to raise them..."

"It would be an honor," Chakotay said sincerely, "but I think we should wait a while. Silvie and Stevie are still so small."

"So do I," Kathryn answered. "Five or six years perhaps." She then smiled. "The Doctor showed me a rough projection of how they might look and they were so pretty, Chakotay... One had blonde hair and blue eyes and the other had ginger like me ... the same freckles too..."

Chakotay smiled softly. "I look forward to getting to know them in the future."

They gazed into each other's eyes until a black shadow in the corner of the room demanded Kathryn's attention.

"Damn," she said when she saw it was a large black spider. "I swear those spiders are intelligent and are seeking me out."

Chakotay laughed. "Want me to get it?"

Kathryn nodded. "If you would..."

Chakotay smiled and then got up to replicate a catcher.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY NINE