Disclaimer: Don't own anything except the randomness of the story plot (if you can even call it a plot).
Extremely Hugely Inspired by The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the book and movie)and other various things.
WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT LIKE RANDOMNESS, OR ANYTHING SILLY AND WEIRD, TURN BACK NOW FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!
The Beginning
Once upon a time, in a place far away from here, there lived a person. This person was rumored to have the most spectacular collection of coffee mugs that ever existed. One day, all the coffee mugs were stolen by aliens. This, in turn, triggered a series of unfortunate events (get it?) that led to the creation of a place called Hyrule.
In this place, because it was created by a series of unfortunate events triggered by the alien stealing of the most spectacular collection of coffee mugs that ever existed, had many really weird things happen to it. Unfortunately for you, you will not be hearing of the weird things that happened to Hyrule, but instead, the weird things that happened to a boy who lived in Hyrule.
This boy's name was Link. He was an interesting boy, with blond hair and blue eyes, always dressed in a green tunic with a matching cap. He was the type that would just…well, stay silent most of the time, answering questions with nods of the head, or, when attacking, crying out a crazy battle cry "HYAAAAAAAH!". This boy was unfortunate indeed, for everywhere he turned, something utterly random and usually destructive would pop out of nowhere. We shall start in the middle of a day. Not just any day, however. The day that marks the 13th year of this boy's life, who happened to be born on the 13th year after Hyrule was created on the 13th month (Hylian calendar) on the 13th day at the 13th hour at 1 minutes and 3 seconds. This, surprisingly enough, was the day that the Hylians began to start keeping track of time, so the year would be 0.
Link slowly looked at his lunch, which consisted of fruit and fruit. Something was strange about this fruit. He thought it was an apple…but since when were apples bright pink? It wasn't pink a few seconds ago. It suddenly turned pink right before he was about to eat it. Link slowly lifted his sword to cut it in half. As he prepared to cut the strange pink apple, something of the utmost peculiarity happened: The pink apple said "Don't eat me!"
Link stopped in puzzled amazement. 'A talking apple?' he thought, 'Since when do apples talk?' The apple then grew legs and jumped off the table, and ran towards the water saying "Don't eat me!" Link ran after it, only to be stopped by, of all people, Mido.
"What the heck are you doing, Link?" Mido asked.
"I'm cha-" Link stopped mid sentence for two reasons. First, he knew how ridiculous it sounded to say "I'm chasing after a self-aware pink apple." The second reason was because a rip in the space-time continuum opened right in front of the little pink apple, and as the apple didn't have enough time to turn, it was sucked into the orange (yes, orange) oblivion of the hole. A few seconds later, though, it disappeared.
"Just eat your lunch," Mido said, while turning to where the apple was sucked into the rip.
"No, wai-" Link stopped himself. The right thing to do was to try to steer Mido away from where the apple disappeared, in fear that another rip could appear. 'But,' Link thought, 'it could be fun to watch Mido be sucked into the oblivion of a, whatever it is.' So Link watched in excitement as Mido walked passed the spot where the apple disappeared and…nothing happened. He turned to go back to his lunch, but he heard someone calling.
"Dinosaur!" he heard faintly.
"Dinosaur!" he heard again, this time louder. 'What's a dinosaur?' Link thought.
"DINOSAUR!" He heard for the last time, for a humongous beast was heading straight at them! It had huge legs and short stubby arms, and gigantic teeth that looked like they were used to rip its prey to shreds. The last thing Link remembered was everyone running around in fear, because falling from the sky, a gamecube hit him on the head.
So? How was it? Please r&r-its my first fanfic. And please-no bashing! Constructive criticism is great, but "YOU SUCK AND YOU SHOULD DIE IN A BLACK HOLE AND NEVER WRITE AGAIN!" or "YOU ARE THE WORST WRITER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! DON'T EVEN THINK OF WRITING A FOLLOWUP BECAUSE THIS STANK LIKE A –"(you get the idea) are not the most encouraging messages.
