CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
HORIZONS
From the moment Kathryn saw Griffy Manor, she fell completely in love with the imposing gray stone house. It was over a century old and built in true Victorian Gothic style that made it resemble both a castle and a church. An overgrown path led up to a protruding pointed-arched porch in which was a heavy oak door. To each side of the porch were two looming circular towers with tall ornamental spires that seemed to touch the sky. Within the two storey towers were lancet arched windows, and just below the spire gargoyles sat in guard. Above the porch was another arched window that had red and yellow stained glass panes to the top. The roof above was so high pitched that it formed yet another floor with a window matching those of the towers. To the rear of the house, two more spires intermingled with black chimneys.
"It's magnificent," Kathryn said, looking up at the house in awe. "I love it already."
"I don't know," Phoebe said, looking at the building suspiciously. "It looks kind of spooky. No wonder Mr Larson can't find a new owner."
"Not spooky," Kathryn argued, making her way to the door. "Distinctive."
She opened the door, stepped inside, and found herself in a large hallway. There was a staircase before her with a solid oak banister, and rays of white, yellow, and red light seeped down on it from the high stained glass window above. To her right there were four doors stretching down the long hallway, and to her left the same. Kathryn looked around, liking what she saw and the "feel" of the house.
"And it's welcoming" she said, taking in every detail. "I think Chakotay would like it too."
Mr Larson had given her a diagram of the house and Kathryn studied it eagerly as Phoebe, Roxa and Vixi piled into the house. Vixi looked around in wonder. She had never seen a house so big or so beautiful.
"The living room's in here," Kathryn said, making her way into the first room on her left. As she stepped inside, more light greeted her from the large tower window and instantly gave the room a bright and cheerful atmosphere. The walls were smooth, no sign of the rugged exterior stones, and the room was fully equipped with all modern conveniences, while at the same time not losing its sense of elegance. There was a pretty stone fireplace opposite the window that was definitely the focal point of the room.
"Computer," Kathryn said, "display fire."
Instantly, a roaring fire burnt in the hearth.
Vixi wandered over to it and studied it curiously.
"Careful, precious." Roxa said. "Don't get too close."
"It's not real," Kathryn replied. "It's decorative only." She went over to the child and put her hands on her thin shoulders. "How do you like the house so far, sweetheart?"
"A lot, Captain," she smiled. "I mean Kathryn. It's pretty."
Kathryn turned to Phoebe. "There you go, sis. Pretty, not spooky..."
"Looks like I was wrong," Phoebe smiled.
"Come on," Kathryn said. "Let's go and look at the rest of the house."
As well as the living room, there was a dining room, a study, a music room, a large kitchen, a small bathroom, a lift and a transporter pad downstairs. Upstairs there were six spacious bedrooms, all of them ensuite, and stairs leading to the uppermost floor. Kathryn climbed them, followed by her companions, and came to what appeared to be an observatory. At the rear of the room, the roof was made of fortified panes of clear glass, perfect for looking out at the stars on cold winter nights.
"It's perfect," Kathryn said, "everything is so perfect." She turned to Roxa and Vixi and smiled. "Welcome to your new home."
It was early evening before Kathryn had finished giving Roxa and Vixi a tour of Bloomington. They stopped off at one of her favorite diners for something to eat, and then returned to her parents house. Gretchen came to meet them and extended her hand to Roxa.
"Welcome, Roxa. It's good to have you here."
"Thank you," Roxa replied.
"I'll show you to your room." She turned to her daughter. "Kathryn, there's someone to see you in the living room."
As her mother ascended the stairs with Roxa and Vixi, Kathryn made her way into the living room.
There, waiting to greet her, was Mark.
"Mark," she said, surprised.
He smiled warmly, but there were tears in his eyes. "Hello, Kathryn." He paused. "I hope it was okay to come."
"Of course," she replied. "It's good to see you."
He opened his arms to her and they embraced warmly.
"I was going to return Molly to you," he said as they drew away, "but I heard that you already have a dog and your mother confirmed it. So I thought I would ask before returning her to you..."
"I appreciate the gesture, Mark, but I really doubt Molly would remember me. You're her family now. It's best she stays with you."
Mark lowered his eyes and was visibly uncomfortable. "I thought you were dead, Kathryn. If I'd known you were still alive, I would have waited."
"Then I'm glad you didn't know," Kathryn said kindly. "I'm glad you moved on with your life." She paused. "My mother says you have a toddler son."
Mark nodded. "Kevin." He paused. "Your mother introduced me to Silvia and Silvesta. They're adorable."
"Thank you."
Mark shifted uncomfortably. "But regardless of how events unfolded, my being a father must seem like a betrayal. For years you tried to convince me to have a child with you and then within two years of marrying someone else I have a son." He paused. "I don't know what to say, Kathryn, except that I'm not the man I was back then. Losing you changed me. It made me take stock of my life, realize what was important and what wasn't. I was determined not to make the same mistakes with Carla as I did with you. I was too selfish, I know. When Carla said she wanted a baby I wasn't going to deny her. And it was the best decision I could have made. I love my son so much."
"People change," Kathryn said quietly. "I'm not the same person I was back then either." She paused. "I remember, Mark. I remember about my baby." Tears welled in her eyes. " How could you ever think we could have a future together when that future was based on ignorance and deceit?"
"Because I loved you," Mark said honestly. "I know I didn't tell you that enough, and I didn't show you enough, but I did. I just didn't know how to express myself that way like you could. I know that I let you down and I'm so very sorry. It just hurt like hell to think what the Cardassians had done to you and I didn't think I could cope with being reminded of that every time I looked at your child." He paused. "I was weak, Kathryn. I should have found a way to cope. You had. You needed me and your child needed me and I let you both down. I'm so ashamed of what I said and how I behaved. So many times when you were in the hospital I wanted to come and see you and tell you that I loved you and that I would raise the baby as my own, but I didn't have the strength. And the longer I put it off, the harder it got. When your mother told me they were suppressing your memories of the baby and I wasn't to mention him, I thought that was the perfect time to start over." He paused. "I knew one day you would remember, but I hoped that you would forgive me."
Kathryn took his hand in hers. "I do, Mark. It was a difficult situation."
"Not as difficult as it was for you. If you had the strength, I should have. But I'm just not as strong as you. Few people are." He paused. "I'm glad you found someone else too, Kathryn. And from what I hear he was a man more worthy of you than I ever was. I'm sorry that you had to leave him behind."
Kathryn was a moment in answering. "It was either him or me," she said quietly, "and at the time we thought it had to be him. But now..." She paused. "Let's not talk about Chakotay. Let's talk about your wife."
"I'd like to do more than talk about her," he said. "I'd like you to meet her sometime, come over for dinner. I'd like us to still be friends, Kathryn. We were an important part of each others lives for so long."
Kathryn smiled sincerely. "I'd like that too."
It was gone midnight, but still Kathryn couldn't sleep. Since they were married, she and Chakotay had barely spent a night apart and sleeping without him was awful. She missed the soft lullaby of his breathing, missed the warmth of his body against hers, and she missed the feel of his arms around her. How she had ever managed to sleep without him, she didn't know. It seemed an impossibility now. Hugging the quilt to her body, she wept painfully, shed the tears she dared not cry during the day. She had to be strong. Silvie and Stevie were depending on her, so many people were still depending on her.
Suddenly, a familiar voice cut through the darkness.
"So, you got your crew home."
Kathryn sat up a little, straining her eyes to see in the dark. "Q?"
An old lamp in the corner of the room illuminated and she saw Q sitting in an armchair beside it.
"Very comfortable, I must say," he said flippantly.
Kathryn wiped away a tear from her cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"That we would have to leave Chakotay behind..."
"Oh that," he said apathetically. "You're better off without him, Kathy."
"He's my husband..."
"Yes. Isn't that unfortunate?"
"You could have helped us."
"I could have," Q said, picking up a snow glow from a shelf beside him and shaking it. "But I didn't."
"Then help us now. Bring him home..."
Q watched the sparkling snow fall. "Primitive, but pleasant."
"Please," Kathryn said quietly. "Please help us. I've never asked you for anything, but I'm asking you now. Bring Chakotay home. Please."
There was so much pain in those words and Q put down the snow globe. "Sometimes things happen for a reason," he said seriously. "If I intervene to bring Chakotay home, things that need to happen won't."
"But if you know what needs to happen, you can make them happen and..."
"It's better this way, Kathy," he said kindly. "Trust me." He smiled. "But there is something I can do. After all, I am a Q!"
With that he clicked his fingers and Kathryn found herself standing in what appeared to be the rear of the Delta Flyer. It would have been pitch dark except for the soft glow of blue light. She looked around and saw that Chakotay was lying on a biobed, a pillow beneath his head and a blanket over him. He was lying on his back and gazing up at the ceiling. A tear on his cheek sparkled as it caught the light.
"Chakotay," she whispered.
At the sound of her voice, Chakotay sat up. "Kathryn?"
As Kathryn bridged the distance between them, Chakotay got to his feet. Tearfully she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.
"Am I dreaming?" he asked as he held her in return. "Or have you come back for me?"
"Neither," she replied. "Q sent me here so I can be with you a while." She squeezed him tight. "I've been missing you so much..."
"And I've been missing you," he said tearfully, "Like crazy I've been missing you."
"I asked Q to bring you home, but he says that he can't, that it has to be this way..."
"Did he say why?"
"No, only that it's better." A tear ran down her cheek. "But it doesn't feel better. It feels like hell..."
"I've been so worried," Chakotay continued, "not knowing if you made it..."
"We did," Kathryn said. "We made it all the way. Captain Picard came to pick us up in the Enterprise-E and the rest of the night was spent celebrating our return."
Chakotay held her tighter. "Then we did it, Kathryn. We got our crew home."
"Yes," she whispered. "But it should have been me who stayed. All the Maquis were exonerated and invited to rejoin Starfleet You sacrificed yourself for nothing."
Chakotay drew her slightly away. "It had to be me, Kathryn. And I'm glad that it was. The crew needed you to get them home and Silvie and Stevie need you. So many people need you. We made the right decision. Don't ever doubt that."
"Everyone was so happy to be home, Chakotay. The joy on the faces of relatives as they greeted their lost loved ones was just wonderful." She looked deep into his eyes. "But all I could think about was you..." She took his hand in hers. "And I have great news, Chakotay. Your mother isn't dead. She survived the massacre. Your sister found her when she returned to your homeworld for a visit."
A tear ran down his cheek. "Oh Kathryn..."
"She's living with other members of your tribe who survived and they're slowly rebuilding the village. Your sister has moved back there with her family and your cousin has too. I'm going to take Silvie and Stevie to meet them as soon as I can." She drew her husband close and held him tight. "So your mother is another reason for you to get home, Chakotay. There are so many reasons. I've found us a beautiful home in Bloomington and we'll all be so happy there..."
Chakotay held her against him a moment and then drew her away. "I want you all to be happy without me, Kathryn. Silvie and Stevie need a happy home..."
"And they need their father," she replied. "Never give up on getting home, Chakotay. Never give up."
"I won't," he whispered. "I promise."
Then he was gone and Kathryn found herself back in her childhood bed in Indiana. All was dark, quiet.
Pain consumed her, loneliness. Had she really been with Chakotay or had she just been dreaming? It had felt so real, but dreams so often did...
Twinkling lights to her left caught her attention and she turned towards them. There, on the cabinet beside her bed, was the snow globe Q had been playing with. As the snow fell it glowed in the dark, glittering...
Kathryn reached out and touched the snow globe. So it had been real, she had been with Chakotay. It hadn't been long, but she knew that he was still alive and he knew that they had all made it home safely...
"Thank you, Q," she whispered. "Thank you."
A MONTH LATER
The sun was dazzling. Kathryn raised her hand to her eyes as stepped out of a small dormer starship she had obtained for the trip to Trebus. She had landed the ship in a small opening amongst trees, a few hundred yards from civilization, so as not to alarm the natives. The land was more fertile than she would have imagined. The trees were a luscious green and the sun baked soil beneath her feet a rich brown. Anticipating that it would be summer on this part of the planet, she had dressed appropriately in a cream t-shirt and blue jeans. They weren't exactly the most elegant of clothes, but she knew that whatever she wore would probably look strange to Chakotay's family, and the venture required something practical and comfortable.
As Kathryn pulled out her tricorder to make certain her bearings, Vixi emerged from the ship, followed by Roxa.
"Are you sure you don't want us to come with you?"
"It's best if I go alone," Kathryn said. "Chakotay's people are very suspicious of strangers. They will probably welcome me, but we don't know that for sure. It may also take me a while to locate his family. It's best if you stay here with the twins for now."
"Very well."
"And remember, stay by the ship and don't leave Silvie and Stevie alone. If you sense any danger at all, contact me."
"I will."
Kathryn ruffled Vixi's pink hair. "It should be safe for you to play out here, but don't wander into the trees."
"I won't, Kathryn."
Kathryn smiled. "See you both in a little while."
At that she left and made her way through the woods.
It took her just over ten minutes to reach the tribe. Their village was more humble than she thought and consisted only of a few log cabins and wooden huts surrounded by hard terrain. In the distance men were building a new dwelling but otherwise there was no one to be seen except three children who were playing close by. When they saw a strange looking woman approach in strange clothes, they abandoned their game and stared at her.
"Don't be afraid," Kathryn said kindly, hoping her translator was working. "I come in friendship. I'm looking for a lady named Sekaya. Do you know where I can find her?"
The children made no response.
"It's very important that I find her."
Still no response.
A man's voice suddenly called out. "Who are you? What is your purpose here?"
There was a distinct defensiveness in his voice, a certain hostility. Kathryn looked away from the children and saw an old man approach. His hair was long, loose, and fell over a white shirt that almost reached his knees. A leather belt was tied around his waist, a pouch hanging from it, and brown pants covered his legs.
"I come in peace," Kathryn said. "I'm looking for Sekaya. Can you tell me where to find her?"
"What is your business with her?"
"I come with news of her brother, Chakotay."
At this, the man's hostility eased. "I will take you to her." He held his hand out to her. "Come."
Kathryn left the children and went over to him.
"Her dwelling is not very far," he said. He turned to face the village and pointed to a large hut some hundred yards away. "She lives yonder with her family."
He began to walk in the direction of the hut and Kathryn followed him. "I remember Chakotay well. A fine boy, but a contrary. The ways of his tribe he was reluctant to embrace. His father hoped he would one day return to the fold, but the pull of the world beyond he was unable to resist. I hope it has not been his undoing."
They reached the hut and the old man knocked the door. Moments later, an old Native American woman appeared. Her eyes were black, but her hair was gray and hung in thick plaits over her shoulders.
The old man spoke. "This lady says she comes with news of your son."
"Chakotay?"
Kathryn nodded. "I'm Kathryn Janeway. Chakotay's wife."
Tears welled in the woman's eyes and she drew Kathryn against her. "Then I welcome you, daughter. I have thought about you often."
Kathryn returned the woman's embrace and they held each other a moment. When they drew away the woman studied Kathryn intensely. "And I see my son made a wise choice. You have kindness and wisdom in your eyes." She then took Kathryn's hand in hers. "But I also see pain in your eyes and sense it in your heart. Chakotay is no longer with us in the flesh, is he?"
"I hope he is," Kathryn answered. "To get our crew home, one of us had to sacrifice our passage to ensure the passage of others. Chakotay felt he was the one to make that sacrifice. We left him with all he will need to return home and I'm sure that one day he will."
The woman absorbed this. "He made a sacrifice for his people. That is a noble and honorable act. I am so proud of my son."
"Not only for his people," Kathryn said kindly. "But also for his family."
"His family?"
"We have a son and a daughter."
A tear ran down the old woman's cheek. "Chakotay has children?"
Kathryn nodded. "Twins. They are six months old. Silvia Rennay and Silvesta Kolopak."
A tall woman who greatly resembled Chakotay, emerged from inside. She had to be Sekaya. "Who is...?" She stopped when she saw Kathryn standing before her mother. "I know your face," she said. "I have seen your picture. You're Chakotay's wife, Kathryn Janeway."
"That's right," Kathryn replied.
"Chakotay has children," his mother said. "A son and a daughter. He honors his family with their names."
"Is he here?"
"He's still a long way from home," Kathryn answered. "But I'm sure one day soon he will return."
"Chakotay sacrificed his passage home to ensure everyone else's," Enola said. "We must be very proud of him." She turned to Kathryn. "Chakotay's children, my grandchildren, I would so much like to see them and embrace them. Perhaps one day you will bring them to me?"
"I already have," Kathryn smiled. "They're in my ship."
The old woman's joy was overflowing. "Bless you, daughter. Thank you."
Kathryn smiled. "I'll go and get them."
Enola waited eagerly outside her hut with Sekaya for Kathryn to return. When at last she saw Kathryn approach in the distance with Roxa and Vixi, she went to greet her. Kathryn was carrying Stevie and Roxa was carrying Silvie. The twins were dressed in matching white suits, the only difference being the pink and blue rims of their hats.
"This is a great day," Enola said tearfully. "We are so blessed. Welcome," she said. "Welcome all of you..."
Vixi smiled at her and then looked around the village. This place far more resembled her home world than any other she had seen so far. As Kariks, their forced exodus had separated them significantly from the wealthy and technological world of their people.
"This is your grandson," Kathryn said, looking at Stevie. "Silvesta Kolopak." She then looked over to Silvie. "And your granddaughter, Silvia Rennay."
The old woman reached for her grandson and took him in her arms. "Welcome, little man," she said, planting a kiss on his cheek. "May the spirits grant you a long life with many blessings."
She returned Stevie to his mother and then took her granddaughter in her arms. "Welcome, little woman. May you too be blessed with long life and much happiness "
Sekaya spoke. "I hope you are not leaving too soon..."
"I thought we could stay a few days," Kathryn replied. "I'd like to get to know you all and give you the chance to get to know Silvie and Stevie.
Enola smiled happily. "A great day," she said again. "Great day."
After a wonderful meal of roasted fruits, roots, nuts, breads, rice and wine, Kathryn sat with her mother-in-law on a buffalo skin around a roaring outdoor fire. Sekaya and Roxa attended to Silvie and Stevie, while Vixi played with Sekaya's youngest children, two girls and a boy. Their two older brothers, their father, and Chakotay's cousin, had gone to a neighboring village to acquire some new tools and weren't expected to return for a few days.
The sky was clear and a myriad stars sparkled above them. Kathryn looked up at them and Chakotay's mother pointed to a bright shining one amongst them.
"That bright one, inbetween the fox and the snake, that's your home, Earth."
Kathryn's sharp eye quickly made out the shapes referred to and found her home planet.
"For many years I sat out here at night looking at the planet and wondering what my boy was doing. He was such a contrary, carried so much discontent in his heart. He left our world hoping another would give him the peace I knew he longed for, but I never saw it in his eyes." She paused." I told him to come home, to marry a native woman and find belonging in being a husband and a father, but he said it would not content him."
The old woman turned to look at her daughter and watched fondly for a moment as she played with her nephew.
"Sekaya left our world too but I worried not so much about her. She was married before she left and therefore was not alone. Chakotay was always alone. It is not good for man to live that way." She paused. "Rennay was the only one who could get close to him. His father would try, but Chakotay was hostile to him. I think he was angry with Kolopak for being away so much when he was a boy and leaving him to the guidance of his uncle. He was a strict man and Chakotay was not a boy for rules. He liked too much his own way. When his uncle tried to discipline him, he would be ungracious."
Kathryn listened in silence. Chakotay's mother was a kind and tranquil woman and clearly knew nothing of her son's suffering at his uncle's hand. Given the passage of so many years, it was not something she needed to know, or something Chakotay would wish her to know.
Enola reached for Kathryn's hands and took them in hers. "You are a kind and courageous woman with much love in your heart. I am so glad my son has known your love."
"And I'm glad I've known his," Kathryn said sincerely. "And I'm glad our children will have the chance to know you. I would like them to spend time with you as they are growing up, perhaps come here during school holidays and learn about your way of life. Chakotay and I decided before they were born that we would raise them to honor your ways."
Tears welled in her eyes. "I knew my boy would one day want to honor the ways of his ancestors. I am so glad he planned to honor then in his children."
"But with Chakotay away, it will be hard for me to teach them about your culture. I was raised very differently and have very different beliefs. Perhaps, before we return, you will teach me a little about your way of life?"
"Gladly, daughter. I will teach you much. And tomorrow we shall dance for Chakotay in the hope of his safe return. You may observe and learn."
"I would like that."
Enola smiled, and then went to put more sticks onto the fire.
END OF CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
