Quick note: I have taken more time to check the spelling and grammar in
this chapter but only in the situation narrative, the lyrics, though spell
checked, are exactly as the song was written (aside from my alterations
that is). Oh and White Dwarf, you really shouldn't have suggested that,
but fear not if I do have the Sisters singing Britney Spears it wont be
posted in this fic. The only ones singing here are the forces of Chaos,
and lets face it their the only ones evil enough to resort to this level of
inhuman tactics. Well on with the show...
This is a parody of Eminem's 'the Real Slim Shady'
Abaddon walked proudly over a field of battle to the middle of a force of Thousand sons who where all sitting on the remnants of four destroyed Tanks of varying types. Abaddon grinned at the sight of a Chaos victory, "Ahriman, I stand impressed! Four of the enemy's tanks destroyed and not a single casualty suffered by your forces! This is truly a testament too our cause, and a welcome change to the madness of singing Daemons and mutants..." he looks at the armored figure he was addressing. Abaddon looked around, "Ahriman! Where are you?" he asked, just then an army of Eldar appeared. There was an Avatar at the head of the Eldar force, "so...I came here to put an end to the threat of the Chaos legion here. Now I find I can put an end to the Mon-keigh that started this war. Face me, Abaddon and you as well Ahriman...ah, Ahriman?" Niadien glanced around finding that every reclining Chaos Space Marine matched the description he had of Ahriman. The huge Avatar rubbed his chine in confusion; "May I have your attention place, may I have your attention place...will the real Ahriman place stand up. I repeat, well the real Ahriman place stand up" every Chaos Space Marine stands, "we're going to have a problem here..."
Ahriman jumps onto the highest point on a wrecked Basilisk and begins taping his foot.
Ahriman: Y'all act like you never seen a sorcerer before Jaws all on the floor like the Emperor, like Horus just burst in the door And started whoopin his ass unlike before They first did battle, slaughtering his forces like cattle (ahh!) It's the return of the... "ah, wait, no wait, you're kidding, He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Eldrad said...nothing you idiots! Eldrad's dead, I but a built through his head! (ha-ha!) Eldar women love Ahriman {vocal turntable: Chigga chigga chigga} "Ahriman, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin around blasting you-know-what At you-know-who," "yeah, but he's so cool though!" Yeah, I probably let a couple Daemons up in my head loose But no worse, than what's goin on outside you're Lemon Ross Sometimes, I wanna get on the battle field and just let loose, but can't But it's cool for Typhus to let his wounds ooze "my gun is in your face, my gun is in your face" And if you're luck, I wont end your stupid race And that's the message that I deliver to little Eldar And expect them not to know that their going extinct Of course they gonna know there being whipped out They got eyes don't they? "we ain't nothing but mammals..." well, some of us living armor who didn't have magic power and got burnt out like toast But if we can recruit dead civilians by the millions Then there's no reason the Elder and the Cadians can't align {ewww!} but if you feel the like I feel, then they all got to die Mutants wave your tentacles, sing the chorus and it goes
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahrimans are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahrimans are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: Logan Grimnar don't gotta cast spells to win his wars; Well I do, I'll kill him and I'll kill you too! You think I give a damn about Space Wolves? Half of those Space Marines can't even touch me, let alone beat me "but Ahriman, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? So you can, face me here next to the Cadians? Strike, Avatar well see how well your weapon fairs Then I'll knock you too the ground next to Ursarkar Creed and Jarran Kell And see who begs for mercy first You little Squig, don't waist my time on the battle field "yeah, he's touch, but I think he's just a librarian, hee-hee!" I should go down to Terra, burst into the Imperil place And show the whole universe how I made the Thousand son what they are today {ahhh!} I'm sick of all you little Eldar and Imperil guard groups, all you do is annoy me. So I have come here to destroy you {bzzzt} And there's a thousand of us just like me Who cast like me; who just don't have a soul like me Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me And just might be the next best thing but not quite me! Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you Things you joke about with your friends on your craftworld The only difference is I got the powers to actually do it In any battle y'all face me on and I don't have to constrain or control it at all I just get in the fight and win it And wether you like to admit it {err} I just think it Better than ninety percent of you psychers out can Then I wonder why you Eldar can keep fighting like ideates It's funny; cause at the rate I'm going when it's over There wont be an Eldar left standing And I'll be left laughing And every single person is a Ahriman lurkin He could be on Cadia, given your security codes away Or on Terra, rebelling Screaming "Death to the false Emperor!" With his fist pounding and his gun blasting So, will the real Ahriman please stand up? And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So wont the real Ahriman please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So wont the real Ahriman please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: Ha ha Guess there's a Ahriman in all of us Let's all stand up...
The Eldar force backed away as every Thousand son began nodding their heads in unison, "there mad...FALL BACK!" shouted the Avatar. As the Eldar ran for their lives Abaddon dropped to his knees and pounded the ground with his power fist, "this can't be happening! It is my military genius that will win this war, not singing! Curs you MTV and your music videos!" Abaddon shouted at the cracked ground. Ahriman walked over to Abaddon; "I have to admit Abaddon, your idea to have our forces sing to defeat our enemies was a stroke of genius" Ahriman stated as he watched the Eldar disappear into the distance. Abaddon arched back and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
This is a parody of Eminem's 'the Real Slim Shady'
Abaddon walked proudly over a field of battle to the middle of a force of Thousand sons who where all sitting on the remnants of four destroyed Tanks of varying types. Abaddon grinned at the sight of a Chaos victory, "Ahriman, I stand impressed! Four of the enemy's tanks destroyed and not a single casualty suffered by your forces! This is truly a testament too our cause, and a welcome change to the madness of singing Daemons and mutants..." he looks at the armored figure he was addressing. Abaddon looked around, "Ahriman! Where are you?" he asked, just then an army of Eldar appeared. There was an Avatar at the head of the Eldar force, "so...I came here to put an end to the threat of the Chaos legion here. Now I find I can put an end to the Mon-keigh that started this war. Face me, Abaddon and you as well Ahriman...ah, Ahriman?" Niadien glanced around finding that every reclining Chaos Space Marine matched the description he had of Ahriman. The huge Avatar rubbed his chine in confusion; "May I have your attention place, may I have your attention place...will the real Ahriman place stand up. I repeat, well the real Ahriman place stand up" every Chaos Space Marine stands, "we're going to have a problem here..."
Ahriman jumps onto the highest point on a wrecked Basilisk and begins taping his foot.
Ahriman: Y'all act like you never seen a sorcerer before Jaws all on the floor like the Emperor, like Horus just burst in the door And started whoopin his ass unlike before They first did battle, slaughtering his forces like cattle (ahh!) It's the return of the... "ah, wait, no wait, you're kidding, He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Eldrad said...nothing you idiots! Eldrad's dead, I but a built through his head! (ha-ha!) Eldar women love Ahriman {vocal turntable: Chigga chigga chigga} "Ahriman, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin around blasting you-know-what At you-know-who," "yeah, but he's so cool though!" Yeah, I probably let a couple Daemons up in my head loose But no worse, than what's goin on outside you're Lemon Ross Sometimes, I wanna get on the battle field and just let loose, but can't But it's cool for Typhus to let his wounds ooze "my gun is in your face, my gun is in your face" And if you're luck, I wont end your stupid race And that's the message that I deliver to little Eldar And expect them not to know that their going extinct Of course they gonna know there being whipped out They got eyes don't they? "we ain't nothing but mammals..." well, some of us living armor who didn't have magic power and got burnt out like toast But if we can recruit dead civilians by the millions Then there's no reason the Elder and the Cadians can't align {ewww!} but if you feel the like I feel, then they all got to die Mutants wave your tentacles, sing the chorus and it goes
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahrimans are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahrimans are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: Logan Grimnar don't gotta cast spells to win his wars; Well I do, I'll kill him and I'll kill you too! You think I give a damn about Space Wolves? Half of those Space Marines can't even touch me, let alone beat me "but Ahriman, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? So you can, face me here next to the Cadians? Strike, Avatar well see how well your weapon fairs Then I'll knock you too the ground next to Ursarkar Creed and Jarran Kell And see who begs for mercy first You little Squig, don't waist my time on the battle field "yeah, he's touch, but I think he's just a librarian, hee-hee!" I should go down to Terra, burst into the Imperil place And show the whole universe how I made the Thousand son what they are today {ahhh!} I'm sick of all you little Eldar and Imperil guard groups, all you do is annoy me. So I have come here to destroy you {bzzzt} And there's a thousand of us just like me Who cast like me; who just don't have a soul like me Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me And just might be the next best thing but not quite me! Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you Things you joke about with your friends on your craftworld The only difference is I got the powers to actually do it In any battle y'all face me on and I don't have to constrain or control it at all I just get in the fight and win it And wether you like to admit it {err} I just think it Better than ninety percent of you psychers out can Then I wonder why you Eldar can keep fighting like ideates It's funny; cause at the rate I'm going when it's over There wont be an Eldar left standing And I'll be left laughing And every single person is a Ahriman lurkin He could be on Cadia, given your security codes away Or on Terra, rebelling Screaming "Death to the false Emperor!" With his fist pounding and his gun blasting So, will the real Ahriman please stand up? And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So wont the real Ahriman please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So wont the real Ahriman please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up?
Ahriman: Ha ha Guess there's a Ahriman in all of us Let's all stand up...
The Eldar force backed away as every Thousand son began nodding their heads in unison, "there mad...FALL BACK!" shouted the Avatar. As the Eldar ran for their lives Abaddon dropped to his knees and pounded the ground with his power fist, "this can't be happening! It is my military genius that will win this war, not singing! Curs you MTV and your music videos!" Abaddon shouted at the cracked ground. Ahriman walked over to Abaddon; "I have to admit Abaddon, your idea to have our forces sing to defeat our enemies was a stroke of genius" Ahriman stated as he watched the Eldar disappear into the distance. Abaddon arched back and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
