Title: Quixotic
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13, I guess
Disclaimer: Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob
Written for: LJ Community Open on Sunday's "LJ mood" challenge
Notes: Remember this:
SPIKE: (quietly) Sometimes I envy you so much it chokes me. (He and Riley exchange a look) And sometimes I think I got the better deal. (sighs) To be that close to her and not have her. To be all alone even when you're holding her. Feeling her, feeling her beneath you. Surrounding you. The scent ... (louder) No, you got the better deal.
She'd left again, "virtue fluttering." Spike opened a bottle of whiskey and swallowed several mouthfuls, remembering the conversation he'd had with Captain Cardboard. About having Buffy without really having her. His poet's heart still ached. She didn't love him. She probably never would. "Soulless, evil thing." Who had the better deal back then? Spike now doubted that it was Riley.

The bottle flew across his crypt and shattered against the wall, and Spike laughed bitterly to himself. He would still tilt at the windmill of Buffy's heart, because it was what he did. But he would never envy Riley again.