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Chapter Four: Keeping SecretsCalm. Stillness. It was all about patience. Waiting… for… the… right… moment.
Sayid lunged the spear into the water quick as lightning. As he did a sharp twinge shot down his back and he hissed in pain, dropping the spear and scaring away all the fish.
"Dammit." Keeping one hand on his back, he slowly made his way back to shore. He could see Shannon standing at the edge of the beach with a concerned look on her face and he walked over to where she stood.
"You're getting too old for that."
"I am not getting too old. I just twisted my back in the wrong way."
Shannon rolled her eyes and watched him drop to the sand, "Yeah sure." She crouched down next to him and ran her hands down his back, pressing lightly on the spots that normally bothered him.
Sayid groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "I am getting too old."
Shannon laughed, "Glad to see you're finally admitting it. Maybe now you'll let Adam or James help you out a little bit."
"I will think about it."
Shannon continued to work out the kinks of his back trying to think of a way to bring up the situation with their daughter.
"I was talking to Nadia earlier."
"Hmmm."
" James told her he thought she was pretty."
"Did you come out here to gossip about our daughter's relationships?"
"Shouldn't you be interested in those relationships?"
"I do not want to hear about it. James is a nice boy."
"Yeah, well, that's the problem. She doesn't like James."
Sayid sighed and turned around, " I don't want to have this conversation again." He stood up and offered Shannon his hand. She just looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows.
"I think we need to have this conversation again. Nadia headed off into the woods after we were done talking. And I don't need too many guesses as to who she went to talk to."
"Adam is a nice boy. I've always liked him. If Nadia feels the desire to be friends with him then we should not stop her. Besides, how can you discriminate against Adam after…?"
"Claire told me…"
" I know what Claire told you. And I think we have both seen proof that Adam is not the only person on this island who is a little bit different."
Shannon stood up and glared at her husband. She looked around to make sure no one was listening, "Someone could have heard you."
Sayid threw his hands up in exasperation, "It is not a secret. Everyone on this island knows that something unusual happened that day."
"A lot of unusual things happen on this island."
"Well only once in my memory has someone died and then come back to life as if nothing ever happened."
Sayid and Shannon stared at each other. After a moment he let out a breath and reached out to caress her cheek, "She will be fine. I think we both know that sometimes you just can't stop the way you feel about someone."
Shannon nodded.
He had to fight his way through the fog. Towards the screaming. He pushed his way closer and the screaming got louder and louder.
"Noooo!"
Sayid shot up as the scream reverberated through his ears. He reached over and shook the trembling blond.
"Shannon, Shannon. Wake up. It's just a dream."
Her skin was hot to the touch and her clothes stuck to her skin, drenched in sweat. Sayid reached down to stroke her cheek. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Shhh, Shannon it's okay. Wake up."
With a sudden jerk, her eyes flew open and she took a deep shuddering breath. She turned her head to look at Sayid for a moment and then burst into tears.
He scooped her up in his arms and held her against his body rocking her back and forth. It killed him to see her like this. Not to be able to do anything. Helpless to stop the pain in her eyes.
Suddenly she gasped and pulled away from him, pulling herself back through the sand, out of his shelter. Silent tears continued to fall down her cheeks as Sayid watched her in confusion.
"You can't… You can't help me anymore."
"Why not?" He reached for her hand and she yanked it away, staring at him with an unreadable expression.
" You deserve better than me. Better than this. I'm not worth it… I'm not worth anything…"
Sayid shook his head, "Shannon I don't understand."
Shannon closed her eyes and took a deep breath, " I can never fix it now. I can never fix what happened. I can never apologize."
"For what?"
"Boone…"
Sayid looked at her with compassion, "That was not your fault. There was nothing anyone could have done."
She shook her head furiously, keeping her eyes closed, " It was my fault. It was my fault that he was on that plane. We never should have been here. I never should have conned him out of that money. I never should have expected him to be my savior."
Her voice got quiet and Sayid barely heard the next words that came out of her mouth, "I never should have gone up to his room that night…" She bit her lip and opened her eyes slowly, waiting for his expression.
He looked at her in confusion for a moment until realization dawned on him. A chill went down his back as he understood what she meant… No, no that. It couldn't be. But the look in her eyes, the shame on her face.
Sayid took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak, "Shannon, I…"
But before he could get his words out she had scrambled to her feet and run down the beach, kicking sand up behind her.
One week later
She was avoiding him. It had been a week since their last conversation and every time he went anywhere near her she turned and walked in a different direction. She had even moved temporarily to the caves to put more distance between them. It hurt him that she had such little faith in him, to expect that he would turn on her so quickly. Every time their eyes met a blush crept into her cheeks and Sayid could feel his heart tightening. The more time they spent apart the more he realized how much he valued their time together. She had been the only person on the island that he had connected with, had truly enjoyed spending time with. Come to think of it, she was the only person in a long time… maybe since Nadia… that he had enjoyed spending time with.
He remembered when she had kissed him. At the time he had wondered what she could be thinking to kiss an Iraqi soldier. How it was that the most unlikely pair on the island had somehow found their way to each other. It was then that he had come to the realization: he was no longer a member of the Iraqi Republican Guard, Shannon was no longer a stuck up socialite from Los Angeles. They were just two people stuck on an island with the chance to start a new life. Add in the fact that they had chemistry.
When Boone had died Sayid wanted nothing more than to fix it for her, go back in time, heal all wounds. But all he could do was hold her until she fell asleep, gently wake her from every nightmare, and help ease the panic when breath wouldn't come. But now she wouldn't even accept the help.
He watched her from across the caves, helping Claire tears pieces of cloth to make into baby clothing. She laughed and a smile crept across her face but Sayid noticed that it didn't reach her eyes. With soft steps he walked over to where she sat.
"Shannon, can I talk to you?
Startled she looked up into his dark eyes and he could see the hesitation. He held out his hand.
"Please?"
She nodded and slipped her fingers into his. Claire watched them walk away with a smile.
They walked a little way through the trees in silence until Shannon stopped and put a hand on his arm.
"Sayid."
He looked back at her and noticed the tears that were welling in her eyes. He suddenly realized that he had nothing to say. There was nothing to say.
With one quick motion he cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. He could feel her resistance but he continued to knock at her barriers, parting her lips with his tongue, pressing her body to his.
Shannon moaned and slipped her hands up his arms, into his dark curls. She pulled at them as the kiss became desperate. His hand moved down her back, under her shirt and Shannon gasped when she felt his rough hands against the bare skin of her back. He pulled away for a minute, unsure. But Shannon wouldn't let go. She nuzzled the side of his neck whispering the words, "I need you." Over and over again.
Sayid felt an animalist urge take over his body as he pushed her against the nearest tree capturing her mouth in another kiss. They needed each other. They needed to feel, to know that they were still alive. His hands moved furiously over her body, a blur of light and dark. Two bodies moving together in harmony, edging towards oblivion…
Shannon giggled as her husband placed feather light kisses down her neck. Sighing, she turned around in Sayid's arms.
"Hmm, that's one thing you never seem to get too old for."
Sayid laughed, "Well, that's good to know."
"You know, one of these days we're going to get caught out here." Shannon sat up and pulled some leaves out of her hair.
"Twenty years and no one has interrupted us yet."
"God, twenty years. Feels like longer.
Sayid sat up and pulled on his shirt, "Well it's a good thing that we have found ways to pass the time.
A Few Miles Away
"La mer. Qu'on voit danser le long…" Nadia suddenly stopped singing under her breath. She stood silently and looked around. Then a smile spread across her face.
" Are you hiding from me?" She looked straight up into the branches above her where two blue eyes met her gaze.
"Not from you." Adam slid down a branch and then jumped the last five feet landing in front of Nadia. She smiled up at him.
"Well, then who're you hiding from?"
He shrugged, "Life I guess."
Nadia rolled her eyes, "Oh please. Don't be so tragic."
Adam smiled at her, "You were singing to yourself."
"Uh-huh."
"That song your mom used to sing."
"Yeah. It's the only French I know."
"It's beautiful."
Nadia blushed, suddenly realizing how close she and Adam were standing. Casually taking a few steps back she asked repeated her earlier question, "Who were you hiding from?"
"Maybe I was just up there so I could think."
"And you were watching me."
Now it was Adam's turn to blush. He coughed and tried to change the subject, "I saw your parents arguing earlier."
"And? That's not really anything new. They argue all the time."
"How is it that they manage to stay together then?"
Nadia thought for a moment, "I don't know. Chemistry?"
"Chemistry?" He looked at her skeptically, " Did you get that from your magazine?"
"So, maybe I did. It doesn't mean that it's not true. Some people are just chemically attracted to each other."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that maybe there's someone out there that you're just cosmically connected to."
"Some one out there? Past the island?"
""I don't know. I guess the person could be a lot closer to you than that."
Adam looked down, realizing that he and Nadia and unconsciously been moving closer and closer to each other. Bending down he whispered in her ear, "How close?"
Nadia felt an electric shiver run down her back as his words tickled her ear. Barely moving her head she looked into his deep blue eyes and licked her lips, "Umm... I don't know exactly." Her voice suddenly sounded strange and deep.
He tilted his head slightly and Nadia felt a thrill run through her body when all of a sudden a twig snapped behind them.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"
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