Genre: Drama / Angst / Romance
Pairing: M/A
Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel , it owns me. ;)
Summary: How important are memories? Max and Alec face a new challenge in their changing relationship. Can an unfortunate accident bring them closer together? ...And now jealousy; a catalyst for trouble.
Lethe.
Chapter7: Two Steps Back
"Sir."
"What's the report?"
"It's the safe sir..."
"My God... how much is missing?"
"We don't know exactly yet sir, looks like 8 drawers but we're still checking..."
"...What there's more?"
"We found this sir."
"..." "Get Logan ... Now!"
Knock, Knock, Knock,
Came the pounding on the door. Alec looked up from his place in front of the TV and thought about ignoring it, but it continued. Alec growled as he was forced to get up to make it stop.
"Alright, alright! Jesus..." Swinging the door open Alec came face to face with a red faced Logan who promptly shoved past him into his apartment without a word.
"Why hello Logan, why don't you come in." Alec grumbled with mock joviality but Logan ignored him and began his search of the apartment. Alec watched him rapidly losing his patience.
"What the hell are you doing?" Logan still ignored him and with increased determination continued his search into the bathroom. Alec followed close behind flicking the TV off as he went. He was only just keeping his cool, he'd lose his temper if he didn't put a stop to this now.
"Hey!" Alec grabbed Logan and spun him round to face him.
"Let go of me Alec." Logan shrugged his hands off and went back to searching through the bathroom cabinet.
"Oh so you do know I'm here... What are you looking for? You know this is my apartment, thus it is more than likely I know where whatever-it-is is." Alec leaned against the door Jam purposely blocking the only exit.
"Aha!" Logan exclaimed removing an item from the drugs cabinet and thrusting it accusingly in Alec's face. Alec coolly raised an eyebrow at it, then looked over it at Logan's contorted face. He'd finally lost it, he thought.
"It's a razor."
"No, it's a lady-razor." Logan spat contemptuously. Alec looked at him bemused for a moment before it hit him. That's Max's razor. Alec carefully held his composure keeping this realisation from touching his features. He could blow this whole thing out of the water right now. He could tell Logan where Max had been spending her nights, then it would be bye-bye Eyes. He had the power to cut him out of the picture entirely if he wanted to all he had to do was be honest.
"What? You're going to bust my balls because Terminal City could only get female cosmetics?" Logan blinked and in that moment Alec saw a flicker of doubt pass between his eyes as he hesitated. He ticked it over in his mind before anger slipped back into place and he threw the razor to the floor and pushed past Alec heading for the bedroom. Alec let him by, obviously Logan had been avoiding the bedroom perhaps still not wanting to find hard evidence of the affair he imagined was going on but now he was going for the jackpot. Alec played the innocent role, he personally prided himself on being able to talk his way out of any situation, after all he had been trained in the art of manipulation and deception. Logan sifted around the room a little more frantically finding his confidence begin to drain.
"What's this all about?" Alec asked secretly watching out for anything distinctly Max in the room.
"This is about you ..." Logan said crawling on the floor to get a look at the things under the bed "... and Max." Alec noted the bitter edge in the older man's voice, lined thick with jealousy and backed with a sense of betrayal. "Don't play dumb Alec," He said turning to him with a venomous glare "I know there's something going on, I've got surveillance footage of the two of you together at the Cale family gathering."
Alec coolly raised an eyebrow showing no hint of concern on his face as he furiously ran the nights events through his mind. He was sure he had been careful of surveillance, why would they install cameras in the bathroom? in case a guest decided to steal the soup?
"Together? in what capacity?"
"You were all cosy out on the balcony." Alec broke into a laugh, Logan really was lame. This whole fiasco was based on how close he had been standing to Max on the balcony, but obviously in Logan's world where nothing happened for a year before your relationship went anywhere, this was just as good as kissing.
"Don't laugh Alec."
"I'm sorry, but are you serious!" Logan just glared harder "Cosy! yeah right ... Logan I was there to rob the joint and Max was giving stick about it. Believe me there was nothing cosy about it."
"Really!" Logan said sceptically
"Yes." Alec said more angrily, although he was beginning to feel something chewing at him deep down. "If you're looking for evidence of an affair you won't find it because there isn't any, but far be it for you trust my word on anything, so go ahead and look I need to clean up anyway." With that Alec left Logan alone with his paranoia. Logan ran a shaky hand over his face and through his hair. Maybe he had been wrong after all, maybe Max had been faithful and he had just jumped to a conclusion that seemed to fit. He had fixated so long on his inadequacies, especially among so many perfectly engineered beings, that he became certain that Max would leave him. It was no longer a case of if , but a case of when in his mind. Everyone was becoming a suspect and Alec, who was practically Max's shadow, was his prime suspect. He hadn't been blind to how the accident had changed their relationship seeing how Alec's chatter and teasing was suddenly far less annoying and far more welcoming than it had ever been.
Logan hung his head in shame. He should have had more faith in Max, given her the benefit of the doubt, it's not as if he wanted her to give up and move on. If they couldn't trust each other then there would be no hope. He took a deep sad breath and stepped out into the living-room. Alec appeared from the kitchen and watched Logan as he left with a dejected defeated look that seeped into every part of his stance.
It was then that Alec knew with a sigh that he had gone too far. He was becoming the kind of guy he never wanted to be. He was putting his feelings for Max between her and Logan. It had been too much of a good thing and he was letting his own desires and hopes blind him. He realised he was being selfish, too many people stood to get hurt. Alec was too close to the edge, he was going to fall for her and get his heart pulped again but this time he wasn't sure he'd be able to survive it.
"Logan, some advise, trust and loyalty are everything with Max, you've got to do that for her or you will lose her." Logan nodded and with an awkward apology left Alec alone with his guilt.
Alec slumped into a chair and rubbed his brow tiredly "This is bad," What had he been thinking. He had to stop all this. They had only kissed, actually now that he really thought about it, he had kissed her she hadn't reciprocated, not that she had the chance. But if she had the chance would she have? wouldn't it be more likely that she would slap him for having the nerve, with Logan practically in the next room. He had kissed Max whilst she was on a date with Logan. But he wasn't intentionally being the guy he promised he wasn't, the kinda guy that would take another guy's girl. He couldn't help but be drawn to her. But she was in love with Logan, anything she saw in Alec was to ease her guilt or to use him as a safety buffer from getting hurt now that the virus was cured. He stood up, he knew what he had to do.
Max straightened herself out checking her appearance as she approached his apartment. It had been a long time since she'd felt like this, since she'd been this nervous or excited over going to see a guy. She was giddy, ridiculously happy and right now she felt certain. Maybe being kissed by Alec had given her the closure on Logan she needed, showing her that she had other options. It had started her thinking about what she really wanted and what she needed to be happy. It made her think about all her feelings of guilt but also about the nature of her guilt; that it was keeping her prisoner but that it could also set her free.
Coming to his door she picked the lock and went in and was somewhat surprised not to see him sat in front of the television. She heard a scuffling about in the bedroom and headed in its direction. Pushing the door open she found Alec flitting about his room picking up clothes and putting them away.
"Hey," she said venturing in.
"Hey Max." Alec replied keeping himself busy.
"What are you doing?" Max asked hovering awkwardly
"I've got to go pick up a watch for Speed so I won't be here tonight but you can stay if you want."
"No that's OK. I've got some stuff to fix up at mine." Alec nodded trying to swallow that serge of hope that came with the knowledge that it really was only for his company that she came. It was then that Max noticed a bag at the end of the bed with some clothes and things neatly folded in it. She stepped forward recognising them instantly and her heart sank.
"I put all your stuff together so you can take it back with you if you like, I found your razor in..."
"Alec what's wrong?" Max asked cutting him off. Alec paused as he shrugged his leather jacket on. Looking at her now he thought about dropping it all, forgetting being noble, disregarding the right thing to do and just being honest. He though about it for a full second.
"Nothing's wrong, I've just got to go. I'll see you later." And with that he hurried passed her and out of the apartment.
"Later," Max called feebly after him as she stared at the closed door. All her excitement, all her certainties, all those happy tingly feelings had all gone, vanished just as he had through the apartment door. She didn't understand. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Max slumped down on to the end of his bed, still staring at the closed door.
"Hey Alec, Hey Max, How are you? I'm fine, I was just thinking about yesterday, hey me too, I was just thinking ... I was thinking it was great and we should do it more often ...yeah, me too."
As the door closed Alec stopped and squeezed his eyes shut. It was killing him not to go back in there and tell her everything she wanted to hear and everything he wanted to tell her. He wanted so much to give in, to be her excuse, to be her comfort, to be her anything. But he didn't, he would do the right thing, he would walk away. Alec laughed hollowly as he continued out into the dark and slightly damp streets of Terminal City. How was it that the right thing always gave you the worst feeling?
A/N: Sorry I've been away so long I have been writing dissertations and dealing with rehearsals. Anyways here it is the next instalment, please review! xxx
