Luminance
It's five o'clock in the morning. I can't sleep, think, or even breathe anymore. The complete feeling of emptiness now grows stronger and stronger within me.
I am currently holding a glass of Bourbon Rye Whiskey in my cold, sweaty hands. The worst part is that I cannot escape my misery. Everything that is present in my bedroom reminds me of her. The scent of her soft light blossomy perfume still remains in this room.
The few photographs that she took a while back are still on the dark wooden table by the window. Her bright energetic face is smiling at me, while mine has a deep, solemn look. I never allowed her to take anymore pictures after those few, because I believed that memories have nothing to do with the present or the future. Probably because of my unfortunate past, I do not want to sit for hours staring at a lost face in the photograph.
I wish that to some degree he was here with me, the other person in my life that is now gone forever. He, the one and only who lit up my life until she came along. But of course the death of my parent and the rape from by stepfather has obviously not been enough sacrifice for the heavens.
No, the greedy gods and goddesses wanted far more than just that. They wanted my whole life to become a dead end with no escape. A couple days after my seventeenth birthday, they took away the most precious person in my life. The one I always cherished, my little sunshine.
I remember the night very vividly, as though it just happened yesterday.
/flashback/
It was a weary night, and I had a bad premonition just like the day my father and mother died. It was the first time ever that I actually replied to the choffer that I'd rather take a walk this evening.
As I was slowly passing a few people on the dark streets of the city, it started to rain. Rain had always been my delight. In my opinion, it was rather splendiferous. The tiny drops of water were spilling on my face as I walked, gradually picking up my pace.
Something in the air was very peculiar. I suppressed the sudden urge to scream, for someone, or something, I did not know. It suddenly felt so uneasy as if I was standing in the middle in an upcoming hurricane, not being able to move out of the way.
My feet guided me somewhere I did not even realize. I have never even walked down the streets before, and yet looked like an expert, knowing every curve of the black cement.
I abruptly realized that I was standing in a park by the bay. It was not a large park, and yet in was so nice and clean. It felt lie I had a blackout concerning my whereabouts, and most of all how I had gotten here.
My thoughts were in interrupted as I heard someone call out my name. And not just n ordinary someone, it was my little sunshine. His tiny voice was chirping my name so swiftly, as he ran towards me across the street. And yet I could not ignore the deep sadness and worry that was now making itself known in my heart and my soul.
My mind, unfortunately told me that there is no danger, for how could there be any if he is headed right towards me with his slender arms tangling in the air and ready for a hug.
Everything happened wither just a few seconds. What seemed to be turning out as a great day, tuned into the most horrific tragedy in my life.
Before I knew it, before my mind took in the information of the unexpected evens, his thin small, body had lying nonmoving and cold on the ground.
As I finally realized what had just happened, my body shook violently as I fell to the ground and everything went black.
/End flashback/
I took a long a long sip of whiskey from my glass and poured myself more. Without realizing that my sadness had shown itself and the hot, watery tears were running fleetly down my hurtful face, tracing every curve of my bony cheeks, and falling on the soft, white carpet.
I closed my eyes and listened to the sound that I now despised the most, the sound of the rain. As I leaned my head back against the mattress of my bed, I ascended back my memory line.
/Continue flashback/
The few hours after the accident have been a blur. I found myself waking up of a hospital bed, when a nurse came in and said something remotely close to me passing out.
When I asked her about him though, she did not give me an answer, just an uneasy look. A couple minutes later, a doctor came in with an overly big, fake smile plastered on his greasy, middle-aged face.
I remember myself thinking two things at that moment First, regarding his large smile, was that by that time, they already obviously knew who I was, because no doctor could have a smile like that at the end of the day, after taking care in numerous patients, unless of course he was some sort of a superficial robot.
Second thing that immediately popped in my head was than something was not right. And as I so cleverly guessed, it was not.
When I asked the doctor about my sunshine, my little dark- haired boy, his smile immediately vanished and turned into a scowl. He did not answer for what seemed to be the longest time, and since there was some strange sort of medicine they had put me on, I was unable to argue with him about not getting my answer.
He than put his hand on mine comfortingly, and said something about being deeply sorry. He told me that after he was hit by the car, he was brought in the hospital for surgery, but there was nothing anyone could do.
The reality hit me hard. What I thought could never happen, just did. The doctor just told me indirectly that he died. He died. He died. No, No, No., No, I was screaming in my head and than out loud. No how could that be! It is not possible! I refused to believe.
As I was yelling and thrashing about, the nurse injected another medicine into the base of my hand and I fell into another series of deep sleep.
/flashback…to be continued/
Like it, like it not, review and tell me. You must have already realized who the little "sunshine" is.
