Disclaimer: I do not own LOST
Author's Note: Okay, if I knew Korean, I would have written this in Korean. But I don't so let's just pretend that it is…
Thank you so much for the reviews. You guys make me feel loved.
Chapter 17: Jin's Interlude
On September 22, 2004 I boarded a plane to Los Angeles. I didn't know where I was going.
I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing. I didn't even know who I was. All I did know was that I loved my wife and I wanted to protect her. That is all I have ever known.
When the plane crashed I knew that I wasn't any further from my destination than I had been before. And I still knew that I needed to protect my wife.
I didn't want to know the others on the plane. I didn't want to help them or let them help us. For the first time in my life I needed to learn how to survive without help from anyone else.
Unfortunately, what I learned was that my wife needed to do the same. And in a way, she already had.
When those first English words came out of her mouth, despite the fact that they were in defense of me, my entire world turned upside down. I learned that she didn't need me as much as I needed her. And perhaps the one person in my life that I could depend on was someone I barely even knew.
Or maybe, I just needed to learn how to actually depend on her. To depend on other people. I couldn't do it all on my own.
So, I let her go. I let her go so that we could learn how to survive without each other. I began to help Michael build the raft. I learned to become a part of the new beginning that we had all been given.
Because Jack was right. We all died on that day. The moment that the plane crashed on that island life began again. Everything was new, everything was fresh. We could all begin again.
The life that we knew before the island was no longer important. I dwelled on it for a long time of course, flashing back to that life I had once known. It haunted me. And I wasn't the only one. I learned, slowly, that we were all haunted. And the new beginning only truly started when we were able to let that go. I had to let go. I had to let go of everything that hunted me. Because the truth of the matter with ghosts is that they only haunt us because we let them.
Even if rescue came, the past didn't matter. And maybe even at that point I knew the truth. We would never be rescued. No one was coming for us. We truly were alone. I knew that. Even then.
The beginning began again. Sun and I learned how to survive with each other. Not because of each other. But with each other. It was the only way that I could truly protect her.
It was a long process. To move on and forget the past. I knew that she was still in pain over the fact that we could never have a child of her own. I watched her mother and nurture the other children on the island. I watched her integrate herself into those families. Even though I could never truly let myself be apart of their lives. I always felt a little bit more separate. When it came down to it, I never really learned how to trust anyone other than my wife.
But it gave me comfort to know that she was safe. When my time came, she was safe. And I was okay with it.
My time on the island was short. I didn't even survive five years of my new life. But those five years were more fulfilling than the lifetime I spent in Korea. As someone else. Living for someone else. Barely even surviving.
My wife is okay. And I am okay. We are survivors. All of us. Because it was when that plane crashed that we truly figured out how to live.
A/N: Trying to find Jin's voice was really hard. He's the one character I've had the hardest time with. The guy should really get more time on the show. But I hope you guys enjoyed. Thanks for reading! Answers are revealed in the next two chapters! I swear!
