Chapter One: A Tryst in the Woods
A stealthy figure moved through the forest, carefully but swiftly stalking towards its destination, never making so much as a sound. The figure stopped for a moment, sniffing the air, a gentle breeze ruffling his long silver hair and his wide red haori. Picking up the scent he had been following, and a second, more suspicious one alongside it, Inu-Yasha narrowed his eyes as he continued on his path through the forest. What's that wolf's scent doing here?
When he reached a clearing, the hanyou stopped dead in his tracks, making sure to circle around it until he was downwind. He could hear a low female chuckle, accompanied by a male laugh. Amber eyes narrowed as long buried feelings stirred awake. He could admit it to himself now, he felt jealousy towards Kouga, ever since seeing how he could be so open with Kagome. Sneaking up behind a couple of bushes, she peeked into the clearing, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was going on. If it had been anyone else, he would have just rushed into the scene sword drawn.
But this was Kagome, and she had a control over him no other did. He emitted a low growl at the phantom pain in his back that crept up whenever he thougth about the accursed spell the rosary had put him under. So, he approached carefully. What he saw, however, made his blood – both humand and youkai – boil. The leader of the wolf-youkai tribe was sitting on a log, Kagome in his lap. Both were smiling, laughing. And suddenly, two conflicting feelings rose up in the hanyou.
Anger, rage at the wolf who would touch the girl, anger at the girl for enjoying it, and anger at himself for letting himself be fooled. He was no expert relationships, but he knew from the way those two looked content together that this had to have been happening for quite a while now. And hurt, an immense feeling of loss and pain. It was reminiscent of the time Kikyo had pinned him to the Goshinboku fifty years earlier. It hurt, and for once the hanyou wondered just why it hurt so much.
His eyes stung, and Inu-Yasha realized a single tear was threatening to fall out of his eyes. The gazes of the two in the clearing suddenly turned on him, and he realized he had growled as the implications of the scene had become apparent.
Inu-Yasha's first impulse was to draw the Tetsusaiga, and his left hand tightened around the sheath until his knuckles whitened. I-I should just kill that wolf...I should...no. The hanyou shook his head viciously. I can't. I can't kill him. Not if he makes her happy. Kami knows, she deserves it, but why does it have to hurt so damn much?
His head bowed, the half-demon stood in front of the pair, shaking as he fought for control over his raging emotions. And, all of a sudden, things snapped back into focus. Kikyo would never have done that. Kikyo wouldn't have ordered me around like she does in the first place. Kikyo would... He stopped as he realized what he had been doing all along. He had been comparing her to Kikyo; but Kagome was nothing like the miko he had fallen in love with so long ago.
V-----------------V
Kagome looked on with worry as Inu-Yasha continued to stand rooted to the spot where he was, his hand tight around his sword's hilt. His head was bowed and bangs of his silver hair covered his eyes. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, but from the low growls that came from his throat, she knew it was nothing pleasant. Glancing down at her hands, and back at Kouga, she, too, bowed her head.
She had known it would hurt Inu-Yasha, but she had gone along with the wolf youkai and met him anyway. So far nothing had happened, Kouga had always entertained her with flowers and stories, but today he had asked for a kiss. And she had given it to him, in the spur of the moment.
A hiss from Inu-Yasha brought her back to the present, and as she noted the subtle shift of his stance, she feared the worst. She knew his jealous streak very well, and knew that he would fight like the devil when hurt and backed into a corner. Which he was right now. And in his present condition, he was more than likely to tear Kouga part limb for limb, even without the Tetsusaiga and without his youkai form.
And, Kagome had to admit, even unarmed Inu-Yasha was the better fighter of the two. So, she did the only thing she could think of as the hanyou started to move. "Osuwari!" she yelled. Immediately, the prayer beads around his neck began to glow, and he was forced onto the ground. "Ka-Kagome!" he managed to choke out before hitting the dirt. As he began to rise again, the futuristic miko panicked, fearing that he still had that much rage left to continue on even after being forced to the ground, continued her feverish chant. "Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari!"
V-----------------V
Inu-Yasha grunted in pain as he was slammed into the ground repeatedly. His mind was in shock, and he couldn't comprehend why he was doing this to him. And even if she just did it out of fear he might attack, wouldn't once have been enough? After slamming into the ground with bone-crushing force for the eighth time, he winced, barely conscious. His vision was blurry, and he could barely make out the speck of white and green that was Kagome, and the fleck of brown that was stalking towards him.
Then, he felt a stabbing pain through his back, and screamed.
V-----------------V
Kagome watched as Kouga carefully approached the prone hanyou, and called out, concerned for the wolf demon's safety. "Be careful, Kouga-kun! He might not be completely knocked out!" She made a mental note to apologize to the hanyou later, but this had been for the best. If she hadn't restrained him, he could have killed them both.
To her horror, once Kouga was next to the prone hanyou, the wolf-demon drew the short blade he carried on his belt, and stabbed it downwards. Her eyes widened, she had never seen him use that sword, and she had never thought he would actually strike Inu-Yasha with it, especially when he was down on the ground.
And the hanyou let loose an ear-splitting scream that was part pain, part loss, and part betrayal.
V-----------------V
His vision turned red, and his blood rushed through him. He could feel his heart beating and hear the sharp intake of breath of the wolf who had driven his blade through his back. With a rough jerk, Inu-Yasha reached behind him and ripped out the bloody ninja-to, then snarled at Kouga, baring his fangs, heedless of the blood flowing down his back, forming a puddle on the ground.
This is it. The wolf dies today. The hanyou snarled in rage as his eyes flashed crimson for a moment, before the Tetsusaiga pulsed and calmed his youkai blood. "Big mistake, you wimpy little backstabber," he smirked, his eyes narrowed to cat-like slits. "Today is the day you die." With that, Inu-Yasha leapt at his opponent, slashing his claws in a broad sideways arc. "Sankon Tetsusou!" The clawed slash hit only air as the wolf-youkai used his speed to dodge backwards.
Chasing after the retreating Kouga, Inu-Yasha leapt up, meeting the wolf-demon in mid-air. The two exchanged punches and kicks fast enough to blur. With a savage yell, Kouga came flying down while the hanyou catapulted himself higher into the air, clutching his right arm. Digging his claws into his shoulder, he drew blood, and took aim at the youkai who lay in a crater below him. "Hijin-" Before he could finish, Kagome's voice echoed through the clearing once more.
"Osuwari!" Eyes wide with surprise, Inu-Yasha slammed into the ground fast enough to knock him out. By the time he had shaken off the dizzyness, Kouga was gone. Blinking his golden eyes, he glanced up, to stare into blazing blue eyes. "What the hell were you thinking, Inu-Yasha!" The futuristic miko yelled into his face from inches away, and the hanyou wished he could sink deeper into the ground, flattening his ears against the top of his head.
He snapped his eyes open and lunged to his feet, startling the girl as he growled at her, finally noticing the blood running down his back and side. He narrowed his eyes at her, only to see her huff and turn away, stalking from the clearing without a backwards glance. It was then he realized his strength was leaving him, his crimson blood pooling beneath him. Taking a tentative step forward, Inu-Yasha gasped in surprise when he stumbled and fell over, slamming into the ground once more.
Closing his eyes, he decided on a moment's rest before returning to camp. Rest sounds good right about now…Yeah. Maybe when I wake up it'll have stopped hurting…
V-----------------V
"Kagome-chan! Where's Inu-Yasha?" Sango glanced up from where she was building a fire, and looked at her friend. Shippo and Miroku likewise directed their attention towards the miko, and Shippo frowned, smelling something off about his surrogate mother. "Why should I care where the jerk is? He can burn in hell for all I care!" The schoolgirl sat down and began rummaging through her backpack, ignoring the inquisitive glances of her travelling companions.
"What did he do now, Kagome-chan?" Sango sighed. It was obvious to her what had happened – the same thing that had occurred so many times before. The hanyou had probably said something wrong – or done something, like meet with Kikyou – and Kagome had caught him. The taiji-ya only wished her friends would stop fighting for once. Maybe then they would be able to find happiness for themselves.
Kagome blinked before tearing open a pack of ramen with a viciousness that was totally foreign to her. "He almost killed poor Kouga-kun! And the jerk didn't even listen to me! He went off on a killing rampage. Honestly, if we weren't around I bet you he'd be up to no good! Kouga-kun's always so nice, he's the perfect gentleman! But Inu-Yasha?" The girl snorted, shaking her head. "Uncultured, violent maniac he is. He almost killed me!"
Sango sighed. Kagome really was mad, for some odd reason. She always exaggerated things like this when she was upset. But, the taiji-ya wondered, why would her friend get this upset over a fight Inu-Yasha had with Kouga? They fought before, but never had she seen Kagome this aggravated – of course, usually it was Inu-Yasha who left the battlefield in a less than decent mood, usually because said priestess tended to stop him before he could actually get serious in a fight with Kouga.
Shippo glanced up as he recognized the scent that came off Kagome. Blood. "K-Kagome! Where's the blood come from?" the kitsune asked, suddenly very concerned. It smelled too familiar, and it smelled very thick. "Blood?" Kagome glanced down at herself and discovered several stains on her uniform. "Oh kami. Now I'll have to wash this out."
Leaning over to Sango, Shippo climbed her shoulder and whispered urgently, "Sango, that's Inu-Yasha's blood. And there's lots of it. I think he's been hurt!" The taiji-ya nodded, and glanced over at Miroku, to see whether the monk had heard the kitsune. Miroku caught her eyes and matched her concerned expression. Summoning Kirara with a whistle, Sango mounted the transformed fire cat, and took off into the sky.
V-----------------V
Kirara landed softly in a torn-up clearing, and Sango could make out the signs of battle in the dimming light of the setting sun. Patting her companion, she got off, and Kirara reverted to her smaller form, sprinting off towards the source of the smell the fire cat demon had caught. When they reached the edge of the clearing, Sango caught a piece of red fluttering up in the wind. When they got closer, she realized it was the sleeve of Inu-Yasha's fire-rat haori.
"Inu-Yasha!" Sango stopped dead in her tracks when her feet started to slip on something. A quick glance at the ground confirmed her suspicions, the earth was soaked in fresh blood. Blood that was running from behind the rock she had seen the cloth behind. "Inu-Yasha!" Her concern grew when she didn't hear a reply. Sango rounded the rock, and gasped, for a moment too shocked to act.
Before her lay a sight she hadn't expected to see. The hanyou lay in a puddle of his own blood, face up, eyes closed. His silver hair was starting to stain red, and blood was still welling from several deep cuts on his side and back. Rushing towards her friend, Sango checked for a pulse, holding her breath as her fingers found the spot on the hanyou's throat. The seconds ticked by without any sensation in her fingers, and a feeling of dread grew within her.
Then, she felt it. Weak, slow, almost reluctant, but it was there. Taking in a deep breath, she tore at the edge of her kimono, using her ninja-to to slice the fabric into ribbons. And then, she set to the task of bandaging his numerous wounds.
V-----------------V
Dog-like ears swivelled at the crackle of fire, turning the other way as they picked up the sound of an owl screeching its hunting cry. Slowly, forcing more air into abused lungs, Inu-Yasha took a deep breath and cracked one eye open. It was dark already, the only illumination being the campfire next to him. Feeling unfamiliar cloth on his skin, he glanced downwards, taking note of the crude bandages that had been expertly wrapped around his injuries.
His other eye opened slowly as he picked up a familiar scent next to him. Inu-Yasha turned his head slowly, his eyes focusing on Sango's sleeping form as the taiji-ya leaned against Kirara right next to him, her kimono's skirt torn up to her knees, exposing her battle armor. The transformed fire-cat turned at the slight noise, and her blood red eyes stared right into his golden ones, and something alike to a smile crawled across her cat-like features.
She let out a low growl, and he understood, smiling and nodding his thanks, not yet trusting his voice. The hanyou's gaze wandered from the fire cat to her mistress, and he suppressed a smile as Sango made a cute sound and snuggled deeper into Kirara's fur. This was something he usually missed when he was up on his tree, but now that he lay closer to her, he noted the taiji-ya's distinctive smell and sound.
Leaning back his head and gazing up at the stars, he wondered why it hadn't hurt all that much to see Kagome and Kouga together, and why it had torn him apart at the same time. If it had been either feeling alone he would have figured it out, but both of them confused the half demon. He didn't know exactly what he felt and where he stood with the fururistic girl. Was she an after-image of Kikyou? Had his subconscious overlaid an image of Kikyou in Kouga's arms, and had that been the reason for his anger? Or was it that he truly was in love with the girl and it had been a flash of jealousy?
Recalling the fear and distrust in Kagome's eyes as she had stared him in the eye the last time, he shuddered inwardly. So much like Kikyou had looked that day. It had hurt just as much as the day the miko had pinned him to the Goshinboku. And maybe that was it. The betrayal had hurt, the fact that Kagome didn't trust him enough to wait for him to act, but always thinking she had to prevent him from doing something. Wasn't that why she had sat him in the first place?
It made sense, he mused. If he were in her place, he would have wondered whether he would charge Kouga headlong, as well. But he hadn't, and she had continued to force him to the ground. This whole situation confused the hell out of him, and Inu-Yasha sighed in frustration. A soft something touched his ear, and Inu-Yasha glanced up to see it was Kirara leaning over and carefully licking his ear to catch his attention. The fire cat looked at him, her gaze shifting from the stars to the blankets he lay under, and he got her message. Go to sleep, she was saying, we can talk about this in the morning.
And he agreed. Maybe some rest would do his mind well.
V-----------------V
The first rays of the sun woke him, along with the sounds of someone walking towards him. Opening his eyes, Inu-Yasha caught Sango's familiar scent and relaxed. He caught the taiji-ya's smile, and returned it with a tiny one of his own. "Morning, Sango," he greeted her. "Good morning, Inu-Yasha," she replied, setting down next to him. "How do you feel?"
"Like I got run over by Sesshoumaru and trampled by Kouga," Inu-Yasha chuckled, before his expression darkened. Right. Kouga, that back-stabbing, honorless bastard. Sango caught his change of mood and arched an eyebrow, wondering just what had occurred the other day. "Well, you certainly look better than when I found you," she quipped, hoping to lighten his mood. "Found me? Where are we?"
"Still in the clearing I found you in. You were in such a bad shape I didn't want to move you. I haven't seen you hurt that badly since…your last duel with Sesshoumaru. Actually, even then you looked better." Inu-Yasha chuckled. "Well, I'm certain I do. Thanks for the patch-up, Sango." The taiji-ya nodded. "Not a problem. But Inu-Yasha…what happened here? For you to end up hurt that badly…And the wound on your back – I know it was made by a sword. Ninja-to, most likely, or something with a straight blade. If you were in a fight, why didn't you tell us? We would have helped you out, you know that."
The hanyou slowly sat up, careful not to re-open any of his wounds. Taking stock of his injuries, he realized that the only one still bothering him was the cut in his back. "This wasn't your fight, Sango. This was mine alone." Catching her angry look, he held up a hand, uncharacteristically calm. "I'm not meaning that you would have been in the way. This was my fight, Sango. It was a personal matter."
The taiji-ya bowed her head, knowing her friend's words to be the truth. "All right. I won't ask about this anymore, Inu-Yasha, not until you're ready to tell me. I trust you know what you're doing, and I hope you know you can trust us to call upon us when you need help. We're your friends, Inu-Yasha." The hanyou glanced into her eyes, his eyes widening in shock at the raw emotion he saw there. He knew she meant every word she said, and he felt glad that she did.
"Thanks…Sango. That means a lot to me, ya know." The hanyou leaned back, shifting so as not to rest his injury agains the bark of the tree. "Hey, if you looked like that, I really don't want to see the other guy," Sango told him, drawing a chuckle from the half-demon. It grew into a laugh, and she soon started giggling along with him.
V-----------------V
When they returned to camp, they found it in good order. Shippo was jumping up and hurrying towards Kirara as soon as he saw them, and Miroku glanced up and acknowledged them with a smile. "It's good to see you're both safe, Sango, Inu-Yasha," he greeted them. Kagome greeted Sango likewise, but turned away roughly before Inu-Yasha could say anything. Sango and Miroku exchanged a look that said, "What was that all about?"
Shrugging, the hanyou glared briefly at the miko's back, before leaping up into a tree like he always did.
V-----------------V
Sleep didn't come easily to two people that night. Sango woke, drenched in sweat as she tried to banish the image of Inu-Yasha's blood-soaked body from her mind. Breathing heavily, she slid out of her sleeping bag and made her way over to a nearby stream, careful not to wake any of the others.
When she arrived, the taiji-ya stopped, wishing she'd stayed in bed. Sitting before her on a log, long silver hair shining in the moonlight, saw Inu-Yasha. Without turning around, the hanyou acknowledged her, inclining his head. "Evening, Sango. Couldn't sleep?" The taiji-ya knelt next to the flowing water, dipping her cupped hands into it, and splashing the cool wetness over her face, washing away tiredness and sweat. "Yeah. You?" She was surprised, usually the hanyou would be going on about how he wouldn't wait for her if she fell behind when she was too tired to walk because she didn't sleep; or he would admonish her for not carrying a weapon.
"Want to talk about it?" That shocked Sango. Something had happened to Inu-Yasha, and she wasn't quite sure what to make of this new splinter personality that seemed to emerge only around her. His tone softened, different from the gruffness it usually held, and took on an almost…caring tone. He would be much calmer and patient than he usually was. More understanding, she mused.
"I don't know," she muttered, knowing his excellent hearing would pick it up. "Inu-Yasha?" she asked, sitting back on her haunches. "Yeah?"
"What's happening to you?" Finally, the hanyou turned to look at her, his amber eyes seeming to glow in the moonlight. "I mean, you're so…different. Polite. Patient. I don't know what to think." The half-demon chuckled as he replied. "If I ever find out, you'll be the first to know, Sango. The other day…it made me think a lot. 'Bout life and death, and love, and all that corny crap, ya know?"
Nodding, Sango indicated for him to continue. "I never told you what happened…and you never pushed it. I don't really know if I should be telling you, but I've done so much thinking it's starting to make me dizzy, 'cause I'm getting nowhere." At her confused look, he chuckled. "It's kinda like this…what would you do if you saw the person you love happy with another one?"
"I'd…" Sango broke off abruptly as she realized she didn't know what she would have done. "I don't know. I mean, if I truly loved that person, I should be happy for them no matter who they're with, as long as they are happy. But…a part of me tells me to go smack that person a mighty one."
"Heh," Inu-Yasha chuckled again, "that's about what I figured. Y'see, I've been stuck at that exact same point. The other day I went off to look for Kagome, remember?" At her nod, he continued, "I found her. She was having a picnic with Kouga. She was laughing. Happy. Having fun. Happiest I've ever seen her." Sango looked up in shock, unbelieving of what he had told her. Part of her didn't want to believe the hanyou, screaming that it was a lie, but she knew he wouldn't lie to her about something like this.
"Inu-Yasha…I…"
He waved her off. "I didn't know what to do then, y'know. It hurt. And I didn't know why it hurt. I mean, I figured that, if Kagome was that happy with the wolf, she deserved to be happy. All we ever do is fight, anyway. And then she sits me. Like a dozen times. I didn't even do anything, so when I try to get back up and ask her, she sits me some more. You asked what that wound in my back was from? Kouga's sword. That bastard stabbed me while I was nearly unconscious on the ground."
Fingering the hilt of the sword at his side, Inu-Yasha looked out at the water for a moment. "So, I got back up. I mean, I was mad. Thought I deserved some payback for that. And you know, right before I can belt him a good one, Kagome sits me again. By the time I get back up, he's gone and she's yelling at me how inconsiderate and violent I am, that I could have hurt 'poor Kouga-kun,'" he mimicked the priestess's voice.
"I saw it in her eyes, Sango. She didn't trust me. She didn't trust me to react any different than jealous, angry, and violent. She didn't trust me to try and talk it out, or not to jump at someone's throat. She didn't trust me enough to give me a damn chance before sitting me!" He sighed in exhasperation. "You know, I'm pretty sure Kouga would've killed me, if he had the chance."
"And you wouldn't?" Sango snorted. "The hostility between the two of you is obvious. I'm pretty sure if we let you loose at him you'd Kaze no Kizu him into dust." The hanyou shrugged, not making any attempt to deny it. "Hey, that's the way the world works. He's not likely to hand over his shards anyway, and we'll need to get them sooner or later. 'Sides, he's not any different from any other youkai we've come across. But if I kill him it'll be in a fair fight. No Kagome sitting me, no backstabbing, no hitting while on the ground. I'm not some pathethic backstabber who needs to attack when his opponent's back is turned." His tone took a dangerous growl at the last statement.
"Anyway," he continued after a moment of silence, "I can't figure out just why it hurts. Is it because I saw her with Kouga? I feel betrayed, for some reason, but is it because she sat me and Kouga hit me while I was down? Or am I seeing Kikyou's face each time Kagome does something? It hurts just like that day fifty years ago…" Inu-Yasha let out a frustrated hiss. "I dunno what to think anymore."
Placing a hand on the hanyou's shoulder, Sango settled next to him on the log. "I don't know what to tell you, Inu-Yasha. I don't know what you see when you look at Kagome, or Kikyou. But what I do know is what I see when I see you looking at either of them. You love them, Inu-Yasha. I know you truly love Kikyou, no matter how much you try to deny it. If you didn't, you wouldn't have a bond that transcended both your deaths. You both cling to that red thread of fate that others say can never be rejoined, but somehow, the two of you are still connected." Letting out a heavy sigh, the taiji-ya stared out into the water. "As for Kagome-chan…You love her as well. Whether it be because you see Kikyou in her, or-"
"Kagome is nothing like Kikyou!" The sudden low hiss from the half-demon shocked the young woman into silence. "She is nothing like her! Kikyou trusted me, Kikyou never put this damn rosary on me! Kikyou-" Inu-Yasha cut himself off as he realized he had just answered his own question. A glance at his companion and the spooked look she had on her face brought forth his conscience, and he had the good sense to look abashed. "Ah…sorry about that, Sango. I didn't mean to yell at you."
Nodding, the taiji-ya arched an eyebrow. "All rigth. Who are you and what did you do with the real Inu-Yasha?" At his confused look, she chuckled, pointing out, "you never apologize for anything, least of all something so banal."
The hanyou shrugged. "Dunno. Feels kinda wrong not to. I mean, you come out here and sit with me and listen to me whine…and then I go ahead and yell at you. I guess I have my answer," he said, leaning back. "Kagome…whenever I see her, I try to compare her to Kikyou. I never really realized I did that until the other day. The first thought I had was that Kikyou would never have acted that way. And seeing Kikyou with that wolf…hurt. I dunno. I guess, if Kagome's happy with him, then I'll deal with it. Maybe I really loved her, maybe I don't. But nothing could've come out of it anyway. She lives in her own time, a world away. I'm just a hanyou, I won't live five hundred years. Kouga might."
Laying down on his back, he shifted his gaze from the stars to the woman next to him. "He will wait for her. I can't. I live now. I made a promise to Kikyou, that I would follow her whereever she goes after Naraku is gone. I gave her my life. And that's one vow I intend to keep." Sango blinked, taking a moment to digest her friend's words. "So you're going to leave us after Naraku is defeated?"
"Yeah. I mean, it's not like we'll have anything to stay together. Kagome will go back, Miroku and you – settle down, most likely. I just hope for you that he stops asking everything female to bear his children. You really don't deserve that." He shrugged. "And it's not like I have a place with any of you."
With a start, Inu-Yasha backed away from the dangerous glint in Sango's eyes which had suddenly appeared a hair's breadth away from his face. "Don't ever say that. Ever. You have a place with all of us, for as long as you live, Inu-Yasha. You took me in, even with all the trouble you had to go through because of me and Kohaku, you stuck with me. And I swore I'd stay by your side, even if you do turn into a full demon."
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Sango. Miroku's gonna settle down far away from a dangerous person like me. And so should you." The slap stung, but Inu-Yasha felt more surprised than hurt. "I fully intend to keep that promise. I'll be here for you, here with you, for as long as you want me to remain by your side. If Miroku doesn't like it, that's his problem. I may love him, but you're my friend, my family. I'm not going to abandon you."
