Chapter 3
It's funny how I could always tell when a girl likes me. I've never been wrong. But I'm starting to doubt my abilities. I mean… Joey asked me out and she had all the signs there. And yet… why would she like me? What could she see in me?
I like her. Hell, if this goes on like this I'll turn into an obsessed freak. And I haven't even kissed her yet.
We end up at the same pizza place we went to last night. Only this time it's a date. Officially. Yesterday we were just grabbing a bite. And I don't think she skips the meaning of this, since we haven't said anything to each other yet.
We order and the waitress takes the menu. I wish she hadn't done that, it was a good thing to look at… now I've got my hands… not so good, I've learnt them by heart by now.
"So…" she says.
Here we go.
I smile and I feel like maybe I smile too much. I try to stop but I can't. She's beautiful. Before I can actually think, the words leave my mouth:
"You look beautiful"
And she smiled and I can't take my eyes off of her.
"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."
This is not going good. I don't want this to turn into a sappy version of Beverly Hills. This isn't me.
"I know…" I smile in an attempt to joke but it just doesn't sound the way it's supposed to.
She chuckles: "Really?"
"Yeah, I mean, can't you see the crowd following me around? It's gotta be the good looks drawing them to me"
"…or maybe they're fighting over who's going to wipe that smug grin off your face first"
"You mean drop dead gorgeous smile… who wouldn't want to see that?"
She throws me a 'you can't mean that' type of look. I put on the 'you know I'm right' smile on. She rolls her eyes. I wink. She blushes. I win.
The waitress brings our orders.
"So tell me about you" I take the safe route.
Joey smiles again.
"What do you want to know?"
'Everything'… ok no need to sound psycho.
"Whatever you care to share"
"I am 18, I have an older sister, my mum's a designer, my father is a salesman."
"How did you get to be an actress?"
"I've always wanted it. Ever since I was a child, I used to watch 'The little house on the prairie' and used to think how cool it was to be paid to be on TV"
"I used to watch that too… just don't tell anyone…"
"Really? You had a crush on Almanzo too?"
I chuckled. "Almanzo? How can I have a crush on someone with a name like that?"
"Hey, I happen to think Almanzo is a pretty cool name… and besides when you have a name like Pacey…"
"What's wrong with Pacey?"
"It's a weird name… does it stand for anything?"
"Is it supposed to stand for anything? It's a name that distinguishes me from the other people around me… that's the purpose of a name in the first place, anyway."
"Yeah, but Pacey…"
"At least I don't have half the crew turning their heads when someone screams my name. When someone says Pacey it's pretty clear they're talking about me…"
"There aren't that many Joeys in the world."
"There are lots of Joeys in the world, just that usually they don't have breasts…"
She looks a bit stunned. Have I gone too far?
Then she starts giggling. I let go of a breath I wasn't aware I was holding.
"Okay, so maybe my parents weren't the most original people in the world…"
"That's an understatement…"
"…but at least when you say Joey you know you're referring to a human being. If I didn't know you I could say Pacey was a dog and no-one would even think to think otherwise."
"I've met some dogs named Joey too…"
She sighs in frustration: "Yeah but you've also met people named Joey, right?"
I giggle: "And you've met people named Pacey too…"
"Only you"
"And I'm not part of 'people'?" I fake hurt.
I win again.
"I'm still pondering on that one…"
…or not.
I didn't even touch her yet. And I die to touch her. I don't know, caress her cheek, run my fingers through her hair… have I mentioned how beautiful her hair is? Oh and she smells great.
She's saying something, but I can't quite follow. I believe she's talking about graduating highschool. I was never a big studying fan so I stay out of this conversation.
"Pacey?"
Busted!
"Yeah?"
"Are you listening to what I'm saying?"
"Uhm… sort of…"
"Sort of?" she rolls her eyes.
"Well, I was listening to your voice but… I didn't quite get what you were saying" I try hard not to blush.
I fail.
She seems a bit hurt.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bore you…"
I'm stupid and I'm off to shoot myself right after I drop her off.
"See, you weren't boring me… But you have such a beautiful voice that I kinda got lost in its sound…"
That sounds corny. It's true but I gotta come up with something else.
She doesn't have a very trusting face right now.
"Pacey… just because I asked you out, doesn't mean you have to tell me lines…"
"Lines?"
"Yeah. I can tell a line when I hear it, and that was a line."
"That was not a line"
"That was a line"
"It sounded like a line but it wasn't"
She still doesn't believe me.
"I swear. It wasn't a line. You do have a beautiful voice. And beautiful hair. And you smell great. And your eyes are great too… and when you smile your whole face lights up and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen… actually cut that, smile or not, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
I said all that in a breath. And trying to prove that I'm not the type to provide lines, I provided her with a whole set of them. They are true, but still lines… and I just blew it up.
She just looks at me. I can't read the look on her face. I'm screwed. She doesn't want to see me anymore.
I'm thinking about leaving the show. Right. I should do that. I mean, I really couldn't be with her every day without thinking what a stupid fool I am.
I'm going to tell Nigel that I got a better offer. Yeah. And then I leave. Right. I'll leave her a letter in which I declare my undying love, apologize a thousand times and hope she'll write me back. We start a nice friendly thing through e-mail. And ten years later we'll meet and I'll be smarter and I'll manage to go on a date with her without screwing up.
She's still silent. Make that twenty years.
We're in front of the grocery store. There's a staircase that leads to her apartment. We stop at its bottom.
"Pacey" she says. Her voice is a bit strange.
"Jo…"
The wind blows through her hair and I know it sounds stupid but I wish that was me…
"I…" she starts.
"It's ok. I know this night wasn't the way you expected it to be"
It was supposed to be fun but my usually funny jokes just didn't make it tonight. It was supposed to prove her what a great guy I am and I just turned up to be a… well, a guy…
"No, it wasn't…"
So leaving the show it is.
She smiles. Why does she smile?
"I felt good, though. It's silly to plan something ahead. When you plan too much something always goes wrong…"
"Jo, we didn't plan anything for tonight…"
"I did. I mean once we were headed for there I decided I was going to say and do a lot of things and that I was going to be the funniest person you ever met and I was going to impress you."
"You already have, the first time we met." I say softly. My heart is beating really really fast as she looks into my eyes. She is so beautiful… My hand finally lifts to touch her hair, my other hand touches her cheek… her skin is softer than I thought.
Her eyes call for me, her lips call for me, her hands reach out for me.
I kiss her softly, I try to be tender, I try to be a complete gentleman, but she tastes so good and she smells so good and her hands are holding me so tight that it soon turns into a heavy make-out session.
I hear steps and take an abrupt step back. She looks at me again. She's all red but her eyes are smiling.
"Hey guys" Dawson says in an unsure tone.
"Hey D" I sigh and turn to him.
"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt" he smiles. He saw us. Who cares? I kissed Joey, Joey kissed me back and she doesn't look like she's sorry yet…
"It's ok, it's late anyway", Joey says. "Good night"
"Good night" we both say and she just leaves us there.
"Breathe, man" Dawson winks at me.
"I can't." I say in all sincerity.
