Chapter 10

Pacey asked to move in with me. Hell, this is moving so fast… But I can't stop it. I don't want to stop it. I am done analyzing my life, I am living it fully. For the first time in my life I act first, think later, and I am enjoying it. And I can't believe it.

"Joey?" Nigel is waking me up from my reverie. We're all in his office, we're doing some sort of a review of the first season before taking a holiday. Yeah, we're taking a holiday… Good moment to move in with Pacey. He's coming with me to see my parents and get them used to the idea of me having an… intimate boyfriend. Does that sound old fashioned or what? But after Bessie, my parents are very old fashioned. Can't say that I blame them. I wish I were less understanding though, cause it's kind of ruining my life, this attitude…

"Yes, sorry." I half smile and blush at my absence. Pacey squeezes my hand and my face is instantly covered with a grin. His power over me is worrying to say the least.

"So, anyway, we took a survey among our viewers, you've had glimpses of that, but now I am going to show it fully to you. It's got good points and bad points and I am showing it to you so that you can be aware of what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong and maybe get better by next season. Not that you weren't great, cause you were, but there's always room for better and I want to try to get there."

I sigh. The season had ended with a kiss of Sam's and Colby's. By the looks of it, the whole next season will center on that. I kept hoping that someone would think of hooking Sam and Petey. I mean, it makes sense. They fight so much, there's got to be something there, it's common knowledge that you pick on the one you love. But Sam and Petey got one kiss in a very isolated episode and then they both pretended it never happened. Darn.

"So, the basics…", Nigel starts "most popular character: Petey".

"Petey!" Dawson exclaims.

"Yes, Petey."

"It makes sense" Jen says calmly. "He's the funniest character, the funniest characters are always the most popular."

"But Colby is the main character!"

"So?" Jen is still calm. I love that about her, she can be so controlled, without actually being rigid.

Dawson is left out of words. I think he's a bit hurt by the popular choice of Petey, but it makes sense to me. Petey is the only character that's actually real, whose reactions I actually understand. Colby is trying to be an idealized version of the teenage boy but he's actually kind of boring and occasionally annoying, while both Sam and Amy are so stuck around him that they don't have much of a personality. I would have picked Petey too. And that has nothing to do with the fact that I'm in love with Pacey. I smile again. Absolutely nothing.

Pacey looks a bit surprised. He's always been a bit too modest. Under that cocky attitude I discovered a very self-conscious person and although I like the fact that he's not arrogant, he really is too down on himself sometimes. This should help.

Nigel waits for us to focus on him again.

"Least popular character: Amy"

Jen smiles: "That was pretty obvious". She doesn't seem to mind, but in the end I suppose she's right. She was the bad girl from New York. And someone had to be least favorite character. I would have minded though. I admire her coolness again.

"Favorite episode: Double Date"

I grin widely at the choice. That was the episode Sam and Petey hooked up. I heard a rumor going around the studio that the public wanted Sam and Petey to hook up but I didn't think about it much till now. Pacey squeezes my hand again and my grin turns even wider.

"Of course" Dawson mumbles. I think he's still taken back by Petey's popularity.

"Dawson, don't take everything personally, the public is judging the characters, not you."

"But they identify me with the character. If Colby has a bad image, I have a bad image and my acting career is ruined!"

"That's ridiculous, there are so many actors who play the bad guy and are very popular in the movie business" Pacey points.

"But I don't play the bad guy! Colby is supposed to be the good guy!"

"Dawson, you're being childish."

"I knew I shouldn't be so agreeable with you two hooking up" he glares at us and I can't believe he said that.

"You have got to be kidding. What does that have to do with Pacey and me?" I reply angrily.

"You take your relationship on screen! Your characters are supposed to hate each other but they flirt all the time!"

"They are not supposed to hate each other, they are supposed to be bantering all the time, but they are friends…" Jen explains, still calm.

"But they are not supposed to be flirting! She is supposed to be with me not with him!"

"Dawson, calm down." Nigel tries to intervene.

"And now you want to move in together. What's next, marriage? Why don't we make this a show about Sam and Petey, forget that it's got Colby's name in the title. In the end it's just a name, right?" Dawson storms out.

Pacey is squeezing my hand so hard, I think it might turn red. But I'm glad he does, the physical pain helps my anger.

"You two want to move in together?" Nigel raises an eyebrow at us.

"Yes." I say.

"I don't think I can live with Dawson anymore, especially not after that" Pacey says and I can't help but wonder if that's why he's moving in with me. I throw him a wondering look, but he doesn't notice it.

"Can't you get your own apartment?"

"I can't afford it."

"It's just that… I didn't think you two were that serious"

"What does this have to do with anything?" I ask irritated.

"Guys, Dawson is partially right. You do take your relationship to the screen. Not that I mind, I love the Sam-Petey dynamic. But if the public finds out about you two, it will become more stuck on the Sam-Petey idea and the show's popularity might be affected. And if you two live together, it will be a matter of time till the public finds out."

"Why would the show's popularity be affected by the Sam – Petey idea? I think it's quite the contrary, they'll stick around waiting for it to happen."

"Joey, the Sam – Petey thing is not going to happen."

"Why not! They have great chemistry!"

"No, you and Pacey have great chemistry. Don't confuse that with Sam and Petey."

"But the way they bicker constantly, the way they act about each other that shows something."

"That shows that they are both very sharp tongued characters."

"They are only like that around each other. They have a special ritual. That shows something. You tease the one you love…"

"Joey, I understand that you like the idea of kissing Pacey in front of the cameras but I don't think that is a good way to lead our show. The show is about Sam and Colby, not about Sam and Petey."

I suddenly remember that this show is about him. Probably in his world, his Sam and his Petey actually bicker for real and hate each other. Maybe his Petey is really a guy that his Sam wouldn't like. Although if they talk anything like our Sam and Petey I am doubting it. But since Nigel's show is so personal and Colby is supposed to be Nigel, it only makes sense that he wants to focus the show around Colby. That's the rational me talking. The emotional me kicks in though.

"You're missing a great storyline. A classic. Enemies becoming lovers. It's as old as times. Just because you're stuck around this whole Sam-Colby thing. But they don't fit. They're good friends but they're boring as lovers. They don't fit"

"Joey, you play in the show, you don't produce it, you don't direct it and you certainly don't write it. You have no word in this. I am just asking you to be discreet."

"My relationship with Pacey is none of anyone's business except me and Pacey."

"No, Joey, it doesn't work like that. You and Pacey have become public figures, whatever you two do affects the show. I am not forbidding your relationship…"

"Forbid! Forbid! You have no right to forbid!"

"I have every right to fire you though if I don't like your behavior."

"Go ahead!"

"I will not do that. I am just asking you to be discreet"

"Oh, screw you!" I shout and storm out. Who does he think he is, talking to me about my private life. The bastard. He has no right.

Pacey comes after me and stops it.

"Joey!"

"You just sat there and let him talk to me like that!"

"Joey, you have to understand he's right…"

"Right! How can he be right!"

"We are public figures. And what we do, does affect the show. And he has the right to ask us to be discreet…"

His words hurt. Physically.

"Pacey…"

"Joey, I am just asking you to see through his point of view. That's all. I don't want you two fighting, I don't want you off the show, let's just…"

"Off the show!" I suddenly calm down. "You think he'd do that?"

"Let's just… let's just be discreet, okay? I don't want to be in the papers anyway…"

"I don't want to be in the papers either…" He's right. I just sigh and let him hug me.