(AN: Aw man, I'm sorry for not updating sooner! You see, I was going to update this a week ago, but banned me for a week because I had two stories in script format that I wrote nearly four years ago... (mumbles stuff under her breath) Well, anyway, I'm back now! Updates will probably be less frequent… well, less frequent than they already are, since marching season is in full swing and school starts soon, but I'll still try to update as often as I can and feel like it. (laughs evilly and continues typing chapter three))
"Oooh! Ooooh! Can we go in there?"
"We're not going in ANY buildings if we can help it, Cosmo!" cried Wanda. "I mean, look at this town!"
She pointed to the small, flapping doors of a nearby saloon (you know what I'm talking about) just as a man in cowboy gear was violently shoved out, falling flat on his back with a lot of creaking of the door flaps and shouting from inside.
"Coo-al!" cried Cosmo. "That looks like fun!"
Wanda grabbed Cosmo sharply by his arm, leading him away from the saloon. "Well, I can assure that it wouldn't be. Now come on. We have to find Luden!"
Cosmo looked annoyed. "It would be a lot easier to find him if we flew."
Slapping her hand over his mouth, Wanda whispered urgently, "Be quiet! No one is supposed to know that we're… F-A-I-R-I-E-S!"
"F… A…" Cosmo brightened. "Oh! Fairies!"
Wanda's hand flew over Cosmo's mouth again. "Yes. Now be quiet. Right now we're just two normal human beings looking for our nephew." She spun her head around. "Luden! Where are you?"
"Luuuuuuuuuu-deeeeeennnnnn!" hollered Cosmo.
Wanda shook her head in frustration. "This is ridiculous. There's so many buildings here, it could take hours!"
Cosmo stopped and stared, open-mouthed, at a poster outside of a large saloon.
"Cosmo, what are…" Wanda also stared at the poster, although her expression was that of shock, anger, and disgust. "COME ON IN AND SEE GUADALUPE INCREIBLE, THE GENTLEMEN'S CHOICE", the sign blared, with a painting of a scantily clad Hispanic woman gazing seductively.
"Gentlemen's choice, indeed," gasped Wanda. "Is she really allowed to wear such little clothing in even a place like this?"
She spun around. "Cosmo?"
The saloon doors flapped.
"COSMO!" screeched Wanda, running in the saloon after her infatuated husband, who was standing near the stage, expectantly wide-eyed.
"And now," said the man on the stage, "the moment you've all been waiting for! Here she is, the one, the only, Guadalupe Increible!"
The curtains opened, and standing in a seductive pose was the Hispanic woman from the poster. Wanda gasped in angry shock and disgust. The white dress—if you could call it a dress—that she wore had a neckline that plunged nearly two inches off of her neck! The sleeves were so short, they didn't even begin to fall down her shoulders, and her dress scandalously ended above her knees, revealing her garter! (Remember that it was 1868, folks.)
She slowly took one step. The piano played a cord.
In a deep, rich, husky, yet still feminine voice, she started singing, "I will never more deceive you… or let happiness bereave you… But I'll die a maid to grieve you… Oh you naughty, naughty men…"
Every man in the saloon was drooling buckets. Including Cosmo. Guadalupe took a few more seductive steps, still singing.
"You may talk of love and sighing… say for us you're nearly dying… All the while you know you're trying to deceive, you naughty, naughty men…"
Wanda couldn't take it anymore. "Excuse me," she said, trying unsuccessfully to make her way to the front.
Guadalupe stepped off the stage and grabbed Cosmo roughly by the collar, holding him captive to her alluring purple eyes. "When you want a kiss or favor…" she sang softly, her lips almost touching his, "you put on your best behavior… and your looks of kindness savor… oh you naughty, naughty men…"
Seeing this outrageous act from the other side of the room, Wanda let out a yelp of shock.
But Guadalupe wasn't done. Reaching out her hand and stroking Cosmo's hair, she continued to sing. "Of love you get us dreaming… and when with hope we're teeming… we find you are but scheming… oh you naughty, naughty men!"
She slowly backed away and walked on, her hand still trailing behind and slowly stroking Cosmo even as she was leaving. Finally, her touch left him. Cosmo, dazed, continued to stare at the space where she had been.
By this time, Wanda had finally made her way to the front. She yanked Cosmo by the arm, causing him to bark out in surprise.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" cried Wanda in a voice so loud that everyone in the room would have been able to hear her if Guadalupe wasn't distracting them. "It's shameful enough for all these other people to be in here, but you're MARRIED! And furthermore… LUDEN?"
And there he was, Wanda's nephew Luden, staring at Guadalupe with the same expression on Cosmo's face.
Wanda grabbed Luden by his arm, and still holding Cosmo with her other hand, dragged the dazed fairies out of the saloon.
"Luden, what on earth do you think you're DOING?" cried Wanda.
Luden blinked. "Aunt Wanda?" he asked in shock. "Uncle Cosmo?"
Cosmo had also regained a bit of his composure. "Aaw, Wanda, let me back in there!"
Wanda ignored Cosmo for the time being. "Of all the places to find you… Jorgen von Strangle sent your uncle and me here to come and talk some sense into you, and I now can certainly see why!"
"Oh, I know what this looks like!" cried Luden. He, too, was disguised as a human, and with his mahogany colored hair and eyes, he almost looked normal. His clothing helped as well, for he was wearing typical "cowboy attire". His aunt and uncle, however, were still wearing their aristocratic clothes, and their hair colors didn't help them blend in either.
"You probably think I'm just sex-crazed," continued Luden passionately, "but I'm not! I've seen a lot of Lupe's shows, and I've seen her just interacting normally with people, and I love her! And I don't want to leave her!"
Wanda threw her arms up in exasperation. "First of all, you have godparenting duties that you are irresponsibly avoiding just to go chase some prostitute."
"Hey!" objected Luden.
His aunt cut him off. "And secondly, has it not occurred to you that she's a HUMAN, and you're a FAIRY?"
"So?" asked Luden angrily. "Must love be restricted to species boundaries?"
"That's the way it's usually done," moaned Wanda, rolling her eyes. "I can't believe this…"
"Look, Aunt Wanda," said Luden, much calmer than he had been speaking before. "To be quite honest with you, I'm tired of being a fairy. I want to get away from all that, you know? I'm happy with being a human. I've been living like this for years. And I'll be even happier with Lupe by my side!"
"You are NOT dodging your duties like that!" yelled Wanda. "Besides, how can you love her? Has she even spoken to you?"
Luden shuffled his feet. "No, but—"
Wanda grabbed his arm. "Now then, you're coming back with me to Fairy World so that we can get you assigned to a godchild and—"
Luden broke free of his aunt's grasp. "Not this time, Aunt Wanda! You can't take me away from my one true love!" He rushed back in the saloon.
"Luden! Come back here!"
Cosmo, who had quietly listened this whole time, watched his nephew run in, then smiled almost lustily. "Wait for me!" he cried, dashing in after Luden.
"COSMO!"
…………
"Now then, off to find my darling Wanda!"
Teedie sighed. "Don't forget about me, lover boy…"
Juandissimo grinned. "Don't fret, little temporary godchild whose name I have forgotten. Once I find your godmother—and your worthless godfather—you shall be reunited!" He puffed out his chest. "And I shall be reunited with my one true love!"
"We-e-e-ell… it shouldn't be too hard to find them," said Teedie, trying to change the subject. "It'll be hard to miss that pink and green hair—"
"Aah, the beautiful swirly pink hair!"
"Forget I said that," mumbled Teedie. "Hey, nice human disguise."
"Thank you," boasted Juandissimo. All the disguise was, of course, was that his wings and crown were gone and he had gotten taller.
"Wanda? Cosmo?" Teedie looked around. "Maybe they're in one of the—"
"SANTA VACA!"
Teedie spun around. "What? What?"
Juandissimo was staring at the sign advertising Guadalupe. "Dios mi! I always wondered where she had run off to, but never in a thousand years would I have expected…"
Biting his lip, Teedie examined the poster. "Who's she? Another one of your ex-girlfriends or something?"
Juandissimo scoffed. "Heck no! She is my sister!"
"Ohh…"
"Many, many years ago, my sister Guadalupe vanished completely from Fairy World," said Juandissimo, perhaps a bit more dramatically than necessary. "Our family searched everywhere we could think of. She was never found. We eventually gave up, assuming she was lost forever. But now I have found her!" He grimaced. "…disguised as a human. I wonder why?"
Teedie didn't know what to say. He just shrugged.
"Well, I shall go in and find out!" proclaimed Juandissimo boldly, striding in the saloon.
"Hey, what about me?" cried Teedie. "I most certainly am not going in there! That's no place for a small child!" He looked around him. "Maybe I'll just go in the general store…"
(AN: Well, cliffhanger and writer's block all at once! Hah. A couple of things--the song Guadalupe sings I found in a piano book called "America's Favorite Songs" or something like that, filled with folk tunes. I wanted to find some sort of saloon song that was written before 1868 and that a woman could sing, and just my luck, there's "You Naughty, Naughty Men", written in 1866 and, if I do say so myself, fits Lupe nicely. Also, "santa vaca" means "holy cow" in Spanish, and "Dios mi" means "my God" in Spanish (I think).
Also, if you're reading my story, please review. I don't care if it's something really short, like "Good story", "This story's okay", or "You suck". I just want to know who's reading. Thank you, and see you at chapter four!)
