(AN: No author's note this time. Just read and review! :D )

Guadalupe noticed them, of course.

That mahogany haired cowboy... he had been following her around for quite some time now, gazing stupidly the whole time. Imagine the shock if he found out she wasn't even human! Guadalupe tried to ignore it—he wasn't the first stalker she'd ever had, anyway.

And the green haired man... what was an aristocratic looking gentleman like him doing in there? His shock at her was understandable, however, and Lupe was used to it. Still, judging by the pink haired woman who was unsuccessfully trying to pull both men back, he seemed to be married. Again, not a first. Many an angry wife had warned Guadalupe to stay away from their husbands, even though Guadalupe had insisted that they were the ones seeking out her.

"Cosmo! Luden! You keep away from this prostitute, do you hear?!" screeched the pink haired woman.

Lupe looked at the trio, wondering to herself. Pink and green hair? How often did you see that? Were they fairies? And was her cowboy stalker a fairy, too?

"Hey, get back to singing!" cried someone from the audience.

Guadalupe glared at him. "Quiet. I have stalkers to deal with." With that, she hopped off the stage and walked—seductively, like she always did—over to the three possible fairies.

Wanda glared at her. "You—you—you've got some nerve, you—"

"At least I am not drooling over every attractive person I see," snapped Lupe in her thick Mexican accent.

"Well, at least I'm not—"

"WANDA!"

Wanda and Guadalupe spun around in shock. (Cosmo and Luden were still too busy drooling over Lupe.) Juandissimo had dramatically pushed his way through the crowd and now stood dramatically before them.

"Juandissimo?" gasped Wanda in shock.

Guadalupe also rubbed her eyes in shock. "Dios mi...Juandissimo?"

Juandissimo stoked Wanda's cheek; Wanda glared at him. "I shall woo you later, love of my life! But first—"

That was all it took to snap Cosmo out of his trance. "Hey, you... wife-stealer! Stay away from my wife!" he hollered.

Rolling his eyes, Juandissimo said, "I'll consider it, if you stay away from my sister!"

"Hold on!" cried Wanda. "This hussy is your sister?...Somehow I'm not surprised."

"I wasn't going to steal your sister!" protested Cosmo.

"Oh yeah?" cried Juandissimo. "Look at that pile of drool underneath you! You didn't even blink when you saw me! Now—"He turned to Guadalupe, leaving Cosmo with a shocked expression fixed on his face "—Lupe, qué haces?"

"No es tu concern," said Guadalupe indignantly.

"Don't give me that!" cried Juandissimo in English. "It is so my concern! We thought you were dead! And now I find you here, posing as..." With one quick movement, Juandissimo flicked out his wand, and suddenly every human around them was frozen. "Posing as a human! Why did you do it?"

"Fairy World did not appreciate my talents," snapped Lupe. "They were always kicking me out, making me... ugh... clean toilets." She shuddered. "They even threatened to send me to the military academy. I was sick and tired of just being a fairy in general. So I've been living on Earth for the last thousand years or so, mainly as a concubine for royalty, you know, things like that."

"That's disgusting!" yelped Wanda. "You're just letting yourself be some... sex machine! No woman should stoop that low!"

"Oh, miss high and mighty, have you tried it?" cried Lupe in retaliation. "I've been having the time of my life. No attachments, no worries... not having to run after some infatuated husband chasing another woman."

"Don't even," growled Wanda.

Cosmo was still shocked. "But I..."

"I do not care," Guadalupe finally said. "You, pink haired fairy who is obviously an ex-girlfriend of my brother's, take your husband and this other mahogany haired fairy and leave. I do not wish to see any of you again."

Finally, after all this time, Luden shook out of his trance. "But—but Lupe, I—"

Guadalupe spun around and glared at Luden. "And do not think I enjoy having you following me around every day, because I do not! Leave me be, you annoying little fairy, for I never want to see you again!"

Wanda grabbed Cosmo and Luden by the wrists. "I am only too happy to comply," she retorted. "Come on."

"But Wanda, my angel!" cried Juandissimo.

Wanda scowled at Juandissimo. "And just what are you doing here, anyway? Don't tell me you're irresponsibly avoiding your godparenting duties as well."

Juandissimo threw out his arms in protest. "I am here because of my godparenting duties! My temporary godchild wished us here!"

"I find that hard to believe," said Wanda. "What child would want to be here?"

Despite himself, Juandissimo snorted. "This little boy, brown hair, blue eyes, glasses, scrawny little thing, high squeaky voice... YOUR GODSON!"

Wanda's hands flew to her mouth; Cosmo and Luden, who were weak with shock and rejection, respectively, fell to the ground. "Teedie? You're not saying that he's in this awful place?"

"Hey, he said, 'I wish'," said Juandissimo with a shrug. "And I am his temporary godfather. What else was I supposed to do?"

Guadalupe giggled. "You goofed again, Juanito."

"Don't call me that!" cried Juandissimo.

"Where is he?!" demanded Wanda.

Trembling, Juandissimo answered, "He's just outside... I think..."

"Well, unfreeze everyone and take me to him!" shouted Wanda. Juandissimo discretely twitched his wand and everyone in the saloon was bustling about again. "At least since you froze everyone, he'll be in the same place," said Wanda, hurrying towards the door.

"Uh..." started Juandissimo.

Wanda spun around. "What???"

"Well...uh...I only froze the people in this room!" cried Juandissimo.

"Oh, dear God, you better not have moved, Teedie!" cried Wanda, bursting out through the doors.

"Oh, no!" cried Juandissimo. "No esta aqui!"

"He's not here!" cried Wanda. "Oh, God, where could he be? Anything could happen to him in this town! We've got to find him!"

"You're not going anywhere."

All five fairies spun around in shock. Two surly-looking men were standing behind them.

"Bill and Jim? What do you want?" asked Guadalupe, apparently acquainted with the men.

"Why, we want you and your friends," said one of them. Before the five could inquire, the other pulled out a rifle and smacked them all hard in the head, knocking them out.

(AN: Cliffhanger...(laughs evilly) Don't worry, next chapter we'll find out what's happening with Teedie, Edith, and Commander. Because they're not going to idly sit back and do nothing. See you then, at chapter five! (And sorry if my Spanish is appallingly bad.))