Chapter 4: Nothing's As It Was
Katara awoke to find herself alone, Zuko no where in sight. Moving with a pace that could math a snails, she got out of bed, got dressed, and did her hair. When she thought she looked presentable enough, she stepped out of the bedroom and looked around. She saw no one. Everything was quiet, almost empty. Her face didn't betray the fact that inside she felt abandoned.
She didn't want to seem desperate, but when she was half way to his room, she met up with Iroh. She delightedly ran up to him and gave him a warm embrace. He had to admit he was a bit taken back, but nonetheless, he hugged returned her warm hug.
"Good morning, Katara," he said cheerfully after the embrace ended.
"Good morning, Iroh," she answered with a smile before quickly adding, "Have you see Zuko?"
She blushed furiously, the hear of embarrassment radiating off her. Anyone passed by and didn't already know she was a waterbender would've thought she was a firebender.
"I'm sorry, its just that----"
"There is no need for apologies, my lady. I understand perfectly," he said, his voice full of sympathy for her current situation. "Zuko is down at the docks preparing the fleet." he continued after seeing that Katara was no longer uncomfortable.
"The fleet? Why? Is he going somewhere?" She didn't recall Zuko telling her anything about a trip. Then again, he didn't tell her anything these days.
"Didn't he tell you? He's going to the South Pole to ask he Water Tribe for their alliance in case things get... Messy," Iroh said calmly and by the look he saw on Katara's face, he knew she hadn't been informed.
Katara was devastated. Why hadn't Zuko told her the situation was that bad? How much more was he hiding from her?
Try as she might, she couldn't help the tears from spilling. She suddenly felt so useless and so out of place. Exactly the way she had felt during their first month of marriage.
Iroh felt sadness as he watched her try to hide her tears. More importantly, he felt a bit upset... At Zuko. He might be the fire lord, but he still had a lot to learn. Now was not the time for him to push away the only person that could help him get through this whole situation.
Unsure of what to do, Iroh gently placed a hand on the crying girl's shoulder.
Katara looked at him and gave a small smile after wiping away the last of her tears.
Iroh was about to say a few words of sympathy but never got the chance because just then came the shout of someone who seemed to be in a hurry.
"Uncle!" Zuko was practically running down the hall, but stopped abruptly when he saw Katara, his every movement under her surveillance
"Katara," he said, not daring to make any moves.
She didn't answer, she just walked toward him. He extended his arms for what he thought would be an embrace, but she just walked straight past him. Zuko watched as she continued on her way, not once looking back. He turned to his uncle and saw that he didn't look too happy.
"Care to tell me what's wrong?" Zuko implied, a bit harsher than intended.
"Zuko, you know how I hate to get involved in your personal affairs but..."
"Yes?"
"Stop doing this to yourself. And more importantly, stop doing this to Katara. She just wants to help." He watched his nephew think things thoroughly. He thought he had gotten into his thick head, but when Zuko answered, he was not pleased.
"I know she wants to help. And she can start by staying out of the way," he said, his voice cold and he face showing no sign of regret.
"Zuko, listen to yourself! Katara loves you!"
"Exactly! Uncle, I know that! I also know she's pregnant, or have you forgotten that not-so-small detail?" he exclaimed, his temper flaring by now.
With his first clamped tightly, he went on, "I love her too, which is exactly why I don't want her to get involved! War is not something a woman should be worrying about, especially a pregnant one." Without waiting for a respond, he stormed off.
Once he had more than enough distance between himself and his uncle, Zuko slowed his pace and began to look for Katara. He checked their bedroom and found no trace of her. He checked the guest wings (all 4 of them), the kitchen, and was desperate enough to check the study (he seemed to recall Katara saying she wouldn't step foot in there unless it was necessary), but found nothing once more. Finally, after half an hour of searching, he mentally slapped himself. She was in the gardens! How did he know? It was the only place he hadn't checked.
He walked around the garden ("Why did we make this place so damn big!") until he heard soft sobs coming from a distance. He followed them until he came to the gazebo located in the center of the garden. There, inside, sat a weeping Katara.
"What do you want?" she called out in a shrill voice, scaring him a bit. She quickly wiped away her tears and tried, but failed, to suppress an oncoming sob.
Normally, he didn't mind her using her bending abilities and the moisture in the atmosphere to sense things around her, but today it was unnaturally annoying.
Without thinking, and out of habit, he asked, "Waterbending?"
"No. My bending's gone," she said bitterly, giving him the impression that it was his fault.
Then he figured out why she was bitter. He remembered her saying a while ago that her bending was fading. He could've killed himself right on the spot for forgetting something so important. Some husband he was.
Thinking it was as good a time as ever, he slowly made his way toward her until he was standing behind her. He gently pulled her up from her position on the ground and turned her to face him. He saw her eyes were puffy from crying and her cheeks were tearstained.
Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her. When she didn't fight him off, he pulled her closer.
Katara didn't respond. She just stood still in his arms even as his placed his head in the crook of her neck. She didn't show it, but she was bursting with happiness to finally feel his touch after what seemed like such a long time.
"Your bending's gone." It was more a statement than a question. Still, she answered with a simple nod, which he felt more than he saw.
"That's one of the reasons I don't want you getting involved, Katara. You're vulnerable, and you're pregnant." he said, determined not to back down even though she was already upset.
She looked him in the eye and he expected to see bright, blue orbs. Instead, he was taken back when all he saw was pain. He felt like a monster, knowing he was the cause of all the pain.
"Zuko, I---" she started but was cut off when he placed a finger on her lips.
"I'm sorry," he said quickly. It had been such a long time since he had apologized and it felt so weird.
She gave him a confused look that clearly read "For what?"
"I love you, Katara," he said, tightening his hold on her. Much to his relief, she responded this time. Her arms snaked around him until her hands where placed gently on his back.
"I don't want to lose you," he continued, taking the time to place a soft kiss on her neck.
"You won't lose me."
"Can you guarantee that?"
He could practically see as her mind worked to find an answer. But in the end, all she could give was a simple "No".
There was a forced silence between them. Each was in their own little world. He thought about how everything came to be and how he would keep Katara safe through it all. She thought about how much more she could take of Zuko's over protectiveness
Eventually, Katara couldn't take any more silence and was brave enough to break it.
"Zuko, I feel like you're abandoning me." she said promptly, getting straight to the point. After all, she had always been straightforward, something he admired about her.
He pulled back just enough to be able to look her in the eye, "I'm not abandoning you Katara, I just don't want you to get hurt."
"I won't get hurt!"
"Once again, can you guarantee that?"
"You're not being fair, Zuko! Can't I have a saying in this?"
"No."
She pulled roughly out of his hold and turned her back on him.
"Katara, I love you."
"So I heard," she said darkly.
Not everything she did or said shocked him, but this did. He knew she was upset, but he hadn't realized just how upset. He tried to place a comforting hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off.
This was getting them nowhere and he was losing his patience. In a desperate attempt, he pulled her around and met his lips roughly with hers. In the blur of the moment, Katara stood stiff. But after regaining her senses, she tried to push him off. She hit his chest with her fist but that didn't accomplish much. Deciding to conserve her energy for something else, she finally gave in and kissed back, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He pulled back too look into her eyes for a minute before initiating another passionate kiss. She didn't struggle this time, letting herself believe everything was perfectly fine between them.
They both pulled out of the kiss only because of the need to breathe. He gave her a smile and was glad when she returned it.
"What's happening to us Zuko?"
He didn't reply, just kept his gaze on her. He knew the only way to keep her safe was to leave her out of this mess, but she didn't want to be left out.
Almost as it she read his mind, she said, "I don't want you to deal with this alone."
"There's not much choice. The battlefield is no place a pregnant non-bending waterbender," he said coldly, knowing he would regret his words sooner or later.
"Is that all I am to you? Zuko, I'm your wife!" she shouted, not really caring if her voice was loud enough to be heard indoors.
"Let's not go there again. Let's just forget about this whole thing for now," he said lowly, taking a step closer to her.
"She stepped back, shaking her head, "We can't Zuko. I can't. It's really happening, love." She didn't wait for a reply. She ran as fast as she could, as far as she could, leaving him with a chaotic mind.
He groaned in frustration, his fist literally on fire. This was not what he had in mind when he had planned on talking with her.
Oh my gosh, I am so, so, so, so, so sorry for taking so long to update! And to show that I really am sorry, you get to pleasure of yelling at me as much as you want (just no name calling por favor).
Now, so you're warned ahead of time. The next chapter will take about as much time to come out as this one did. Please don't kill me! I'm too young to die! Oh, that reminds me of that episode! Where Sokka goes "I'm too young to die!" and then the old man says "I'm not, but I still don't wanna!" That was hilarious!
And did you guys see the new episode? I knew Zuko wasn't such a bad guy! Call me crazy, but I can sorta tell when a bad guy is truly bad or if he's just on the wrong side. In Zuko's case, he's just confused. Don't tell him I said that.
Anyway, please review! And I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed. I love ya'll so much.
One more thing, if there are any mistakes, please bare with me. I promise when i post chapter 5, I'll have everything edited, re-edited, and re-re-edited. Okay, maybe not, but I will edit.
