A/N: What to say? Umm the songs used in this chapter was Changes by 3 Doors Down for Cruz's pov and Incomplete by Backstreet Boys (dont really like them, the song just fit) Enjoy! Im sorry if theirs mistakes in this just didnt have time to reread.
She knew she was dying, had known for quite some time. Fields saying it, just made it set in even more. She didn't have a lot of time left she could feel it. It was funny, she couldn't actually feel it, but she did.
So many things to do, before the time came near. Sometimes more often than not she would stand in the middle of her living room and just look around, look at what she had, the pictures of people who were all dead. She had only one reason to live and he completely ignored her, while it went mutual, she couldn't bring herself to go and see him in the hospital afraid that he would turn her away or worse yet, Yokas would turn her away. That's why she remained busy, keeping her mind off her problems, until she went home and they began to suffocate her until she felt like she could breathe. When ever she stood in the middle her eyes would always go to one picture, one that he held that night.
Why was she wishing for something that would never be again, she supposed that he heard about her stint in the big house, probably never wanting to come near her again. Yokas more than likely told him why she went to jail, cause she killed Donald Mann, ha ha looks like Yokas won, she got Bosco.
Maybe that was all for the better she wasn't going to live much longer, didn't want to hurt him any more than necessary. If it was for the better why did it hurt so much?
I'm not supposed to be scared of anything
But I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted
And nobody understands
I'm tryin' hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to
And the pain inside is making me numb
Could she go through with it? Take the pain away before it started? She walked into her bathroom and looked until she found what she was looking for, the shiny metallic surface shining into her eyes. For a brief second she could see herself in the blade but it didn't last long. She stood there looking down at this small piece. How could something so small do something horrible? No one would miss her, not enough anyways. She raised the blade to her wrist. Taking a deep breath she slowly lowered the blade so it was touching her skin.
Knocking could be heard throughout the apartment, it took her a few knocks for her to actually realize that it was someone knocking on her door. She hid the blade away, not knowing when she would get another chance.
She wiped the tears that mysteriously appeared on her cheeks, she opened the door not believing who it was.
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Not exactly the reaction he was hoping for but a reaction none the less. She had been crying, over what?
"Ritza" her eyes flew up to his as he pushed his way past her door so he stood right in front of her. His hand slowly raised to her hair as she smoothed it down before he leaned closer to kiss her.
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go"
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
It felt so right, so complete for him to be standing there kissing her, his hands familiarizing themselves with her body again.
I try to hold this, under control
They can't help me
'Cause no one knows
Could she tell him, let him in on her secrets?
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
No, no one would ever find out about, not until she left work, by then she would be to far gone to care.
This kiss ended far to early, in his opinion. He wanted to spend all night just touching her, making sure she was really standing in front of him and not in some dream.
She didn't want to be near him, fearing that he would notice something was wrong, she moved away from him, placing her arms around herself, building an emotional wall around her heart.
The reason he was here, filtered back into his head. Right.
"I'm here to take you to dinner"
It was midnight, she had eaten hours ago. And what the hell was he talking about? Since when did they have dinner plans?
Her look said it all, she'd forgotten, any normal person would have it's been too long.
"Before I left for Mikey's funeral, I said that we would go out to dinner. I'm here so let's go"
She remembered she was just hoping that he didn't, it was a day she wanted to forget but couldn't, no matter how hard she tried, for a while after it she had nightmares, they would start off with them having sex then change to him leaving, her finding the bomb, and the hospital. They got to the point where she started using sleeping pills and only sometimes they worked.
"You have ten minutes to get ready" he had to be kidding her.
"And no I'm not joking" how could he read her when no one else could?
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
He'd heard so many voices telling him to forget about her, to move on. Finally one day he told them to shut the hell up and get out. They hadn't come back since. That's why he was standing here, he needed to be here. This was never a mistake for him. It was everything.
"9 minutes, 30 seconds"
She looked at him, why now? Why tonight what was so important that it was tonight?
"9 minutes, hurry" she went into her bedroom to get changed, she had no idea where they were going so she decided on a nice simple black dress. She kept her hair down, not having time to do anything with it. It was getting long time to cut it.
His eyes lit up when she walked out, the dress was simple but it looked fancy on her. She could wear anything, even a potato sack and it would look great on her.
"Your chariot awaits mi'lady" he stuck his elbow out for her to grab it, she did just that, her face deep in thought. He had his work cut out for him, he thought as he closed the door behind him.
