Part One: Sweet Marital Bliss
(A/N:Hey there! Thankies to the nice people who have read my fic.! And STRAWBERREH FROSTED SUGAH COOKIES to aaallllllll my reviewers!! / )
&&&
6 MONTHS LATER:
&&
'SLAM!'
"Master's home!! Master's home!!!"
"Silence,GIR!!" Zim groaned,massaging his temples,"Can't you see I have a headache?!"
The robot's head only lolled to the side,"Whozza' pretty giiiirrrllll?" it inquired,grinning at Foi,"She's so bee-oooo-ti-ful!!! Is she your girlfriend,Master??"
'Master' spasmed,"Just leave me alone!!!!!"
Needless to say,the ride home had not been pleasant. Zim had ranted himself into hyperventilation,and Foi had had to stop every few minutes for junkfood and treats,causing him further annoyance.
Now,said Irken girl was peeking out of the attic window,gasping in delight."Wow! Is this where I'm gonna' live?"
Since Zim was too miserable to even think of a sarcastic reply,he just grunted,"Yeh."
"And all those cool lights!! Is that a city?!"
"Yes! Would you please be-"
But Foi was half-mad with glee,"Can I see the REST of the house!? Pretty please with marzpe on top?!?"
"Yes!! Just go--GO!!!"
"Aren't you coming with me?"
"GET OUT!!!!"
"Okay,okay-sheesh! C'mon,GIR-was it? I'm starving!! Where's the food?"
"In da' kitchen!"
"Then let us go!!"
With a superhero's leap,Foi and the little robot bounded for the elevator,"Bye,Zimmy!" Foi called cheerily,"Hope you feel better!!"
Zim whirled around,"How DARE you call me--"
But they had already gone.
"Zimmy..."
He was married...
And his wife was downstairs...
Eating his food......AGAIN.
Zim shuddered.
&&
"Doom,doom,doomy,doom,doooooommm-doom,doom,doom!!! De-doomy--"
GIR swung his legs back and forth,happily watching Foi down another piece of siasche marzpe,"Doooo yoooouuu liiike it?" he droned.
After fitting 2 large pieces into her tiny frame already,she must have.
"This is even better than the marzpe the Tallests eat!!!! Where does Zim get this stuff?!"
Told ya'.
And,speaking of our other alien friend,he was nowhere to be seen.
He had been spending the last four hours in his lab,tinkering with a newly invented,small metal box.....
(No,it wasn't a murder weapon,though his temptation to make one was probably pretty high at the moment.)
See,Zim had done some thinking. If he was going to be stuck with a wife,then the least he could do was to make her...fit in...somehow.
Holding it up proudly,he reached for his microphone.
&&
"FOI!!!!"
It was a good thing that she wasn't eating right then--she would've choked.
"Foi? Get down here,immediatly!! "
Poor,Foi. If only she knew what 'here' meant...or how to get there...or why Zim was so angry...or where exactly he HAD gotten that delicious marzpe.
But she soon forgot her sorry state when the TV flickered on and her mate's face appeared,looking very irritated. "Down to the lab!! NOW!!!"
"Hey,Zim--?"
"And take the toilet,it's faster!"
"Um,alright. Hey,Zim?"
"What?!!"
"Where DO you get that marzpe??"
".......Just get down here."
&&
Foi immediately felt at home in the vast underground lab. It,unlike the rest of the house,was obviously Irken;with wide,well-ventilated rooms and bright metal walls colored in bright reds and purples.
"Woooww! Is this my room?"
"Hardly. But we'll get to that later. Right now,I need your cooperation. Here,hold this." Zim handed Foi a shiny,black and white box.
"Hey! It matches my outfit!"
"Yes,yes. Now,press the white button."
Upon barely touching the creamy sphere,a bright beam shot out of the top of the box,stretching into a Holomatic (TM!) screen.
'Snap!' went a blinding flash of light.
"Agh! What on Irk?!" she cried,rubbing her newly sore eyes.
A picture of Foi suddenly appeared on the luminous screen,along with the words 'Press Here',next to it. Pressing,Foi saw that her picture had morphed into that of a human girl's. One with long,black hair and violet eyes. "Cool!" Pressing again,there came another girl,strikingly similar to the last in features;but with short,curly blond hair and blue eyes.
"It's your disguise." Zim explained. "I WAS going to use it for myself,but the thought of looking any more human SICKENS me. It would have been nice,I suppose...but you can have it."
"Well I-thanks."
He waved her off,"Just hit the white button again when you have selected the disguise you like best."
She fiddled with it a moment,looking.
Looking...
Looking...
Looooooookiiiiiiiiiiiinnnngggg.......
"How 'bout you pick it out for me,Zimmy?"
"Gladly!!!"
And boy,did Zim pick! He picked and picked and picked!! He picked like it was nobody's pickin' BUSINESS!!!!! 'Picky McPick-Pick',they shoulda' called him! BOO-YA'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay,so it wasn't really all that exciting...
"There,look!"
Foi did,acknowledging Zim's semi-kind gesture of help and,holding the box up to him with all the thankfullness she could muster,said..."Pick again."
&&
ONE EXTREMELY ANNOYED ZIM LATER....
&&
Foi spun around in front of a huge mirror,grinning. She now wore a human disguise,consisting of fair skin;milk chocolate icing brown hair (straight and then flaring at her shoulders);chocolate iceing brown eyes;and her trademark,black and white outfit.
"At last." Zim muttered,leaning tiredly against his worktable for support,"Now that you are FINALLY prepared,I can take you into town tomorrow." he sighed,"My supplies are running low."
"Town?"
"A human word,but I'll give you the basics in the morning. Right now...you need rest,as do I."
"Where do I sleep?"
Hmm...Where indeed. In the six months it had taken to get to earth,Zim had been too furious to take much into consideration...including where his recently added,'Object of Irritation' was going to sleep. It was only when she had first seen his lab,saying,"Is this my room?" had the thought even entered his mind.
But now,with a gleam of confidance in his eye,he led Foi toward the elevator...
&&
"It was originally MY room,but,after discovering that I slept much better in my lab,I just shut it up and forgot about it."
The room was large,probably the largest in the house-portion of his base,with walls the color of wine and littered with the Irken logo. A humongous bed lay in the corner,and a recliner chair by the door.
"Cool..."
At the sincerity in Foi's voice,he softly glanced at her,"Not bad,eh?"
"Nope. And it'll look even better once it's totally redone!!"
"I--WHAT?!?"
"Oh yeah!" Foi beamed,female mind already stuck in 'Must-Obliterate-Any-Evidence-A-Man-Was-Here' mode. "I'm gonna' paint the walls pink and get a super-soft bed and decorate everything in pretty hearts!!! I love hearts..."
So,yet again,what could have been a bonding moment between husband and wife was ruined by interior decorating. One month later,Foi had her dream room,with frosting pink walls and hearts everywhere. It was reeeeaally pretty...and pink-lookin'.
But,tonight,Foi would learn the wonderful joys of sleeping outdoors......on the front stepps.
&&&
((Author's Note: Woo! That was...well,not easy. But not too hard either. Man,people who say humor isn't tough to write have never written it! Or...they have too much talent...and then they just have to be destroyed.
Dib:Hey!!
What?! Who--? Oh! Hey,Dib! ........What's wrong with you?
Dib:What's wrong? What's wrong?! You've written two chapters already and I haven't shown up once!!! What kind of ZIM fic. is that?!
The good kind.
Dib:(hurt) Wha--?
Just messin' with ya'.Dibbeh! You'll be in here...somewhere...I guess....
Dib:(sarcastic) How thoughtful.
Hey! I write as God gives me inspiration!! Be patient!!!
Dib:Patient...phht.
Anyway,please R&R!! See ya'!
Dib:Hey!!! I'm not finis--- ))
(A/N:Hey there! Thankies to the nice people who have read my fic.! And STRAWBERREH FROSTED SUGAH COOKIES to aaallllllll my reviewers!! / )
&&&
6 MONTHS LATER:
&&
'SLAM!'
"Master's home!! Master's home!!!"
"Silence,GIR!!" Zim groaned,massaging his temples,"Can't you see I have a headache?!"
The robot's head only lolled to the side,"Whozza' pretty giiiirrrllll?" it inquired,grinning at Foi,"She's so bee-oooo-ti-ful!!! Is she your girlfriend,Master??"
'Master' spasmed,"Just leave me alone!!!!!"
Needless to say,the ride home had not been pleasant. Zim had ranted himself into hyperventilation,and Foi had had to stop every few minutes for junkfood and treats,causing him further annoyance.
Now,said Irken girl was peeking out of the attic window,gasping in delight."Wow! Is this where I'm gonna' live?"
Since Zim was too miserable to even think of a sarcastic reply,he just grunted,"Yeh."
"And all those cool lights!! Is that a city?!"
"Yes! Would you please be-"
But Foi was half-mad with glee,"Can I see the REST of the house!? Pretty please with marzpe on top?!?"
"Yes!! Just go--GO!!!"
"Aren't you coming with me?"
"GET OUT!!!!"
"Okay,okay-sheesh! C'mon,GIR-was it? I'm starving!! Where's the food?"
"In da' kitchen!"
"Then let us go!!"
With a superhero's leap,Foi and the little robot bounded for the elevator,"Bye,Zimmy!" Foi called cheerily,"Hope you feel better!!"
Zim whirled around,"How DARE you call me--"
But they had already gone.
"Zimmy..."
He was married...
And his wife was downstairs...
Eating his food......AGAIN.
Zim shuddered.
&&
"Doom,doom,doomy,doom,doooooommm-doom,doom,doom!!! De-doomy--"
GIR swung his legs back and forth,happily watching Foi down another piece of siasche marzpe,"Doooo yoooouuu liiike it?" he droned.
After fitting 2 large pieces into her tiny frame already,she must have.
"This is even better than the marzpe the Tallests eat!!!! Where does Zim get this stuff?!"
Told ya'.
And,speaking of our other alien friend,he was nowhere to be seen.
He had been spending the last four hours in his lab,tinkering with a newly invented,small metal box.....
(No,it wasn't a murder weapon,though his temptation to make one was probably pretty high at the moment.)
See,Zim had done some thinking. If he was going to be stuck with a wife,then the least he could do was to make her...fit in...somehow.
Holding it up proudly,he reached for his microphone.
&&
"FOI!!!!"
It was a good thing that she wasn't eating right then--she would've choked.
"Foi? Get down here,immediatly!! "
Poor,Foi. If only she knew what 'here' meant...or how to get there...or why Zim was so angry...or where exactly he HAD gotten that delicious marzpe.
But she soon forgot her sorry state when the TV flickered on and her mate's face appeared,looking very irritated. "Down to the lab!! NOW!!!"
"Hey,Zim--?"
"And take the toilet,it's faster!"
"Um,alright. Hey,Zim?"
"What?!!"
"Where DO you get that marzpe??"
".......Just get down here."
&&
Foi immediately felt at home in the vast underground lab. It,unlike the rest of the house,was obviously Irken;with wide,well-ventilated rooms and bright metal walls colored in bright reds and purples.
"Woooww! Is this my room?"
"Hardly. But we'll get to that later. Right now,I need your cooperation. Here,hold this." Zim handed Foi a shiny,black and white box.
"Hey! It matches my outfit!"
"Yes,yes. Now,press the white button."
Upon barely touching the creamy sphere,a bright beam shot out of the top of the box,stretching into a Holomatic (TM!) screen.
'Snap!' went a blinding flash of light.
"Agh! What on Irk?!" she cried,rubbing her newly sore eyes.
A picture of Foi suddenly appeared on the luminous screen,along with the words 'Press Here',next to it. Pressing,Foi saw that her picture had morphed into that of a human girl's. One with long,black hair and violet eyes. "Cool!" Pressing again,there came another girl,strikingly similar to the last in features;but with short,curly blond hair and blue eyes.
"It's your disguise." Zim explained. "I WAS going to use it for myself,but the thought of looking any more human SICKENS me. It would have been nice,I suppose...but you can have it."
"Well I-thanks."
He waved her off,"Just hit the white button again when you have selected the disguise you like best."
She fiddled with it a moment,looking.
Looking...
Looking...
Looooooookiiiiiiiiiiiinnnngggg.......
"How 'bout you pick it out for me,Zimmy?"
"Gladly!!!"
And boy,did Zim pick! He picked and picked and picked!! He picked like it was nobody's pickin' BUSINESS!!!!! 'Picky McPick-Pick',they shoulda' called him! BOO-YA'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay,so it wasn't really all that exciting...
"There,look!"
Foi did,acknowledging Zim's semi-kind gesture of help and,holding the box up to him with all the thankfullness she could muster,said..."Pick again."
&&
ONE EXTREMELY ANNOYED ZIM LATER....
&&
Foi spun around in front of a huge mirror,grinning. She now wore a human disguise,consisting of fair skin;milk chocolate icing brown hair (straight and then flaring at her shoulders);chocolate iceing brown eyes;and her trademark,black and white outfit.
"At last." Zim muttered,leaning tiredly against his worktable for support,"Now that you are FINALLY prepared,I can take you into town tomorrow." he sighed,"My supplies are running low."
"Town?"
"A human word,but I'll give you the basics in the morning. Right now...you need rest,as do I."
"Where do I sleep?"
Hmm...Where indeed. In the six months it had taken to get to earth,Zim had been too furious to take much into consideration...including where his recently added,'Object of Irritation' was going to sleep. It was only when she had first seen his lab,saying,"Is this my room?" had the thought even entered his mind.
But now,with a gleam of confidance in his eye,he led Foi toward the elevator...
&&
"It was originally MY room,but,after discovering that I slept much better in my lab,I just shut it up and forgot about it."
The room was large,probably the largest in the house-portion of his base,with walls the color of wine and littered with the Irken logo. A humongous bed lay in the corner,and a recliner chair by the door.
"Cool..."
At the sincerity in Foi's voice,he softly glanced at her,"Not bad,eh?"
"Nope. And it'll look even better once it's totally redone!!"
"I--WHAT?!?"
"Oh yeah!" Foi beamed,female mind already stuck in 'Must-Obliterate-Any-Evidence-A-Man-Was-Here' mode. "I'm gonna' paint the walls pink and get a super-soft bed and decorate everything in pretty hearts!!! I love hearts..."
So,yet again,what could have been a bonding moment between husband and wife was ruined by interior decorating. One month later,Foi had her dream room,with frosting pink walls and hearts everywhere. It was reeeeaally pretty...and pink-lookin'.
But,tonight,Foi would learn the wonderful joys of sleeping outdoors......on the front stepps.
&&&
((Author's Note: Woo! That was...well,not easy. But not too hard either. Man,people who say humor isn't tough to write have never written it! Or...they have too much talent...and then they just have to be destroyed.
Dib:Hey!!
What?! Who--? Oh! Hey,Dib! ........What's wrong with you?
Dib:What's wrong? What's wrong?! You've written two chapters already and I haven't shown up once!!! What kind of ZIM fic. is that?!
The good kind.
Dib:(hurt) Wha--?
Just messin' with ya'.Dibbeh! You'll be in here...somewhere...I guess....
Dib:(sarcastic) How thoughtful.
Hey! I write as God gives me inspiration!! Be patient!!!
Dib:Patient...phht.
Anyway,please R&R!! See ya'!
Dib:Hey!!! I'm not finis--- ))
