Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga.

Luna: Get ready for disturbing images and stupidity! And as for KOS-MOS blackmailing MOMO for the whole story, you'll just have to wait and see! Here it is, CHAPTER 4!

Chapter 4: Shion's SURPRISE!

Allen finally decided to get Shion a sappy card and go home.

There he stayed pacing the floors, wondering if Shion would ever love him. And he panicked until the next day, and soon it was time to get ready for the surprise party.

Canaan arrived at the party, socks in tow. He was wearing his snazzy new uniform and began wondering why he bothered coming.

" Hi Canaan!" cried a black haired girl, " I love your new uniform!"

" Hi…er…person." said Canaan.

" I'm Miyuki!" said Miyuki.

" Uh, hi." said Canaan, " You know me, how?"

" You're a secondary character, and we're forming a secondary character alliance!" said Miyuki, " And one day, when those self-centered main characters least expect it, we'll strike! Then, I'll be the main character, and it'll be called 'Zenosaga!'"

" That's great," said Canaan, backing away, " I think I'm going to go away now…"

Canaan took in his surroundings of the party hall. It had a bar, DJ, dance floor and many tables to seat the guests. In the middle was a large cake, soon to be the scene of many a disturbing sight. But not now.

Chaos was smiling proudly at the cake.

" Chaos!" screamed Canaan, " What are you doing here?"

" Shion invited me," answered Chaos, " And that's my present right there, the cake."

" I would take you out, right here. Right now. But it would cramp my style," said Canaan, smoothly, " And I have to go hide."

" Later then," said Chaos, " I AM CHAOS! WATCH ME HIDE STEALTHLY!"

With those words, Chaos leaned against a wall. Canaan found the perfect hiding spot; under the table. The lights went out as Jin shouted, " I am your DJ for this evening, and we've received word that Shion is coming in. Hide! And smiles, smiles people!"

The doors were flung open, the lighting still dim so you couldn't make out the figure's face.

" SURPRISE!" chorused several voices.

The cake exploded. Out popped a man wearing nothing but a bow-tie and a sparkly underwear. The man began dancing next to the figure, who screamed and backed away.

" WHOA!" screamed Jin, " WHOA!"

He managed to flick on the lights to reveal the identity of the dancer and the victim. The half-naked dancer was Albedo. The mentally scarred for life victim was Allen. Just as this thoughts sunk in, Shion came in; and witnessed the scene.

" Wait…your not Shion!" cried Albedo.

" I-I know…" said a breathless Allen, still backing up against the nearest wall.

" What the hell?" cried Shion and Jr. at the same time.

" I have to make money somehow, Rubedo," said Albedo, defensively, " I don't get paid for abusing you or torturing Realians, unfortunately."
A Kirsschawer that I will name Sally, because I can't spell Kirschawass-, uh, forget it. Anyway, Sally, the special realian; walks in as well.

She sees Albedo in his 'day job' and Allen against the wall, so she screams, " You get away from my Alby!"

" You can take him, please," said Allen.

" He's mine! MINE! Come on, Alby," said Sally.

" Wait! I have to collect my tips!" he said, annoyed, " You don't just find dancing talent on the street, you know."

" If I pay you, will you go away?" asked Allen.

" Depends…"

Allen shelled out 8 dollars, and Albedo snatched the money and skipped off.

" Well…this is…interesting," said Jin, on the mircophone, " Anyway, buffets open."

At the sound of free food, everyone ran to the buffet as if they were starved for weeks.

Canaan, who'd been under the table for some time now, missed the whole thing. He was grabbed by his wrists and led away by a raving, power hungry lunatic known as Miyuki.

" You'll star in Zenosaga with me!" she demanded, " And Shion will see how much a star I am and how THEY SHOULD'VE PICKED ME! I'm much prettier, smarter, nicer and far more intelligent than her!"

Poor Canaan was kidnapped. And Allen was mentally disturbed. And Ziggy just walked in. And there was still 3 more hours of the party left. Plenty of time for our hero, Allen, to screw up big time.

Luna: YAY! DONE! Here's next Chapter: 'Zenosaga' I know this chapter was a bit short, but the next will be longer and better! REVIEW!