Part Two: Life Lessons A'la Mode
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( Author's Note: I was absolutely SHELL SHOCKED with the amount of reviews I got! .....I only expected three. Five tops. And here I have NINE!!! (Eleven, if you count Peggi and Krissy 119's lost reviews.) I prayed for it, though! And God answered my prayer!
You guys are so sweet, and I hope none of my chapters let you down at all.... I want to make ya' happy!!
And so, on with 'da fic.!! )
&&&
The sun rose softly against a background of muted grays. And with it, came a contented sigh.
Foi sat on the front stepp--last night's bed, thanks to her big mouth--watching the phenomenon unfold.
Ever since she had been a smeet, she had lived in space. Never on a planet, always on a ship. Foi was used to the bleakness of the etherium, the piercing twinkle of stars and distant galaxes--not a huge, bright orange orb coming over a horizon.
....It was actually pretty cool looking.
The sound of the front door slamming behind her brought her out of the unchararistically deep reverie...or maybe it was all those beautiful frosted cupcakes in her head... Yeah...
Anyway...
"HIIIII!!!!!! Wha'choo' doin' out here?!" GIR squealed, causing Foi's magical head cupcakes to flee in terror. "OUT HERE!!!??"
"Nothing much." Now sane again, she noticed the little robot was in his green doggy diguise. "Where're you going?"
"Gettin me a SuckMonkey!!!!"
"A SuckMonkey? What's that?"
"You suck da' monk-eh and the freezy comes out!!!"
Foi giggled, "Hey, can I come with you?"
He paused at the fence, looking back gleefully, "Come get SUCKMONKEY?!?!"
"Well, I don't think I can actually GET one...but I can watch you drink yours...I guess... And you can show me around Earth!!"
" 'Kay! Y'know, Master doesn't like SuckMonkeys!! He hates them!!! 'Specially when you pour 'em on his----"
"Hey, GIR?"
"YESSA'!?!"
"Zim won't mind that we left, will he? I mean, I'm all in disguise and stuff..."
"Nah!! He don't care!!!"
&&
It was a good thing that the two were out of hearing range at that moment. Words like the ones Zim was yelling could set a frozen SuckMonkey ablaze.
Upon coming up from his lab, he had discovered (to his horror) that Foi was not where he had violently thrown her the night before! Looking throughout the house, he found a note that might explain why... :
' Mstrr!!!
gom 2 gut sookmanky!!!!!!!!! b bekke son!!!!! quhsbsfsheekusplot!!!!!!
luv!! GIR '
His first thought was that his sidekick was in desperate need of an implanted spellcheck, but then his worries went beyond that. After all, it was only logical to assume that Foi had gone with that dumb piece of scrap metal--but who knew WHERE, or HOW long they had been gone?? GIR could have led her to Mexico by now in search of burritos!!!!! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!!!!!!!
Then there was the OTHER possibility. One that frightened Zim even more.......
Foi had run away.
It could have happened, right? He HAD kicked her out on the sidewalk....... No! No regrets!! But, what would he tell the Tallests if they checked in to see if she was alright?! He could see it now......
' "So, Zim, how is that mate we entrusted to you because we knew you'd take excellent care of her and stuff?"
Zim figited nervously... "Oh, um, well...the thing is...I sorta'...lost her..."
His Tallests looked at him angrily. Purple shook his head, "You stink! Don't call us again ever and stuff!!!!"
"NOOOOO!!!!" the Invader cried, before falling to the floor and writhing pathetically, "WHY MUST THIS BEEEE??!!!!!!!!!!!!" '
Never!! He would NOT be humiliated in front of his leaders! Runaway or not, Foi had to learn who was boss---ZIM!!!!
Still muttering curses, he stalked out the door.
&&
Laughter rang throughout the crisp fall air as two figures raced down a deserted sidestreet, crunching the dead leaves happily as they went.
Sunshine was a beautiful thing.
GIR twirled, the frozen concoction inside his cup slogging, "Chocolate Peanut Butteeeeerrrrrr!!!!" He screeched. Beside him, Foi was sprinting down the sidewalk and giggling; lost in the moment. "Chocolate Peanut Butteeeeerrrr!!" She echoed, suddenly stopping to gaze at a hideous carved pumpkin. "Hey, GIR! What is that?"
"Issa' Jackerlant'n!!!" He slurred giddily, "It keeps da' Holloweenies away!!"
"Holloweenies?"
"Ghosties!!!"
"Do you believe in ghosts, GIR?"
"Uh-huh!!"
"Me too!!!"
Once again in hysterics, the two collapsed in a huge pyramid of firey red foliage, "Earth is cool...." Foi finally managed, "It's too bad Zim has to destroy it."
"Hmm...."
"I guess it doesn't really matter, though. I mean, as long as we're enjoying it now. Besides, after Earth's gone, I'm sure Zim'll find us a better place to live!"
"SuckMonkey!!!!"
She snickered, and the two lay in silence once again. "....You think Master's up yet?" GIR asked lazily, lolling his shiny head to the side.
"I don't know, why don't you ask him?"
The suggestion was not from his new pal.
No.
It was coming from one extremely irate invader.
"Zim?" Foi sat up in surprise, "What are you doing here?"
Poor Foi, if only she were not so oblivious.....
Her mate's voice was dealthly quiet... "What am I doing? What am I DOING?!!" and then it rose to, 'Gah-My-Ears-Are-Bleeeediiinnnggg!!!!!' levels; causing a car alarm to go off and several small animals nearby to explode messily.
"Mm....."
"-I- have been going all through this DISGUSTING city LOOKING for YOU!!!!!!" He spat, "Where have you BEEN?!?!"
Both GIR and Foi casually replied with the most overused word in this chapter: "SuckMonkey."
Zim twitched in near explodey-ness, "Who said you could go, Foi? Huh? WHO?!"
"My magical head cupcakes!!! They know ALL!!"
"Well, tell your 'Magic Head Cupcakes' that the next time you leave without my premission.... I will personally dump a bucket of WATER OVER YOU!!!!!!!"
"SuckMonkey water?!"
"Be quiet, GIR!!!"
Foi looked at her little companion in confusion, "But... GIR told me you wouldn't mind if I left!"
"Foi... GIR is insane!!"
The two Irkens watched as the little robot stared vacantly into space, as if listening to magical head cupcakes of his own....
Which, in reality, he probably was.
Zim rolled his eyes, utterly annoyed, "Just don't run off again! Alright?!"
"Mm'kay!"
With one more disgusted flick of his antennae, he motioned for his mate to follow him. "Come along."
"Hey, Zim! My cupcakes just reminded me of something!!"
"What now?"
"I saw a horrible Jackerlant'n thingy today!" She chirped merrily, "It was really ugly... Looked just like you!"
&&
High up in a dry old tree, a black trenchcoat rustled ominously..........
Maybe because it was the only thing IN the tree.
"Man, Gaz! I can't believe you!!"
Down below the 'ominous' trenchcoat stood a shivering, spikey-haired boy in a blue shirt.
"I told you you'd pay for my soda!!!" Afore mentioned sister yelled back.
"That was a WEEK ago!!"
"Next time I'll just decapitate you on the spot!!! You like that better?!!"
Growling, Dib straddled the tree and began his grueling climb to the top. It wasn't until halfway up, though, that he heard the voices...
"Foi, keep up!!!"
"When I get home, can I have some siasche marzpe?!"
"TAAACCOOOOSSSS!!!!!!!"
He almost fell in surprise. He knew those voices! ...Well, the first and last, anyway.
ZIM!!!
After a whole year, the alien menace was back! And, from what Dib could see, he had brought a friend. A pretty, chocolate-haired girl that couldn't have even been Gaz's hieght.
Now, Dib, being Dib, decided to execute one of his trademark, 'Spankin' Dib Moves!!!'. Namely,the 'jump-and-roll-landing-expertly-on-your-feet-in-front-of-your-enemy' move, as seen in "Rise of the Zit-Boy", only with a bit more class.
Unfortunatly, Dib, being Dib, forgot that humans are only capable of so much. Namely, they cannot jump from the tops of high trees with the grace of a flying squirrel.
In fact, they aren't that graceful at all.
Zim and Foi watched in wonder and amusement--Oh! SO much amusement!!--as a big-headed boy, tangled in black cloth and twigs, flopped face-down on the cement walk before them.
But, since this is a cartoon, Dib was not seriously injured. Didn't even have a nosebleed. Woo-boy, I wish I were a cartoon!!
He stood up, trenchcoat in hand, and looked his rival in the eye, "Zim..."
Said Zim narrowed his eyes, sorely disappionted that his arch enemy was still alive. "Dib-human..."
Foi, sensing something momentous was about to happen, naturally consulted her magical frosted cupcakes, "I wish I had some marzpe, Lemon... No, Vanilla, that's a stupid idea.... Yeah, you're right Strawberry..."
Meanwhile, GIR danced gleefully in the background.
"SUCKMONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
&&&
(Author's Note: Yay!! 'Dis chapter took FOREVER to write. Mainly because I had one version all written, hated it, and then wrote an entirely new one. Oh well. I like this one much better, so it worked out! Thank You, Lord!!
Dib: (Just gets done reading Part 2.) HEY!!!
What? I put you in it!
Dib: You made me look STUPID!!!!!
What?? When?
Dib: "Dib, being Dib, decided to execute one of his 'Spankin' Dib Moves!!!' "?! "Unfortunatly, Dib, being Dib, forgot not to jump out of a TREE."?!
I didn't write it that way. And besides, you WOULD have jumped, I know you.
Dib: LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once again, faithful readers, R&R!! Yummy, MAGIC FROSTED CUPCAKES to you aaallll!!! And Dib'll be okay soon. Him sufferin' from denial. Aren't ya', Dibby?
Dib: .....You jerk. )
&&&
( Author's Note: I was absolutely SHELL SHOCKED with the amount of reviews I got! .....I only expected three. Five tops. And here I have NINE!!! (Eleven, if you count Peggi and Krissy 119's lost reviews.) I prayed for it, though! And God answered my prayer!
You guys are so sweet, and I hope none of my chapters let you down at all.... I want to make ya' happy!!
And so, on with 'da fic.!! )
&&&
The sun rose softly against a background of muted grays. And with it, came a contented sigh.
Foi sat on the front stepp--last night's bed, thanks to her big mouth--watching the phenomenon unfold.
Ever since she had been a smeet, she had lived in space. Never on a planet, always on a ship. Foi was used to the bleakness of the etherium, the piercing twinkle of stars and distant galaxes--not a huge, bright orange orb coming over a horizon.
....It was actually pretty cool looking.
The sound of the front door slamming behind her brought her out of the unchararistically deep reverie...or maybe it was all those beautiful frosted cupcakes in her head... Yeah...
Anyway...
"HIIIII!!!!!! Wha'choo' doin' out here?!" GIR squealed, causing Foi's magical head cupcakes to flee in terror. "OUT HERE!!!??"
"Nothing much." Now sane again, she noticed the little robot was in his green doggy diguise. "Where're you going?"
"Gettin me a SuckMonkey!!!!"
"A SuckMonkey? What's that?"
"You suck da' monk-eh and the freezy comes out!!!"
Foi giggled, "Hey, can I come with you?"
He paused at the fence, looking back gleefully, "Come get SUCKMONKEY?!?!"
"Well, I don't think I can actually GET one...but I can watch you drink yours...I guess... And you can show me around Earth!!"
" 'Kay! Y'know, Master doesn't like SuckMonkeys!! He hates them!!! 'Specially when you pour 'em on his----"
"Hey, GIR?"
"YESSA'!?!"
"Zim won't mind that we left, will he? I mean, I'm all in disguise and stuff..."
"Nah!! He don't care!!!"
&&
It was a good thing that the two were out of hearing range at that moment. Words like the ones Zim was yelling could set a frozen SuckMonkey ablaze.
Upon coming up from his lab, he had discovered (to his horror) that Foi was not where he had violently thrown her the night before! Looking throughout the house, he found a note that might explain why... :
' Mstrr!!!
gom 2 gut sookmanky!!!!!!!!! b bekke son!!!!! quhsbsfsheekusplot!!!!!!
luv!! GIR '
His first thought was that his sidekick was in desperate need of an implanted spellcheck, but then his worries went beyond that. After all, it was only logical to assume that Foi had gone with that dumb piece of scrap metal--but who knew WHERE, or HOW long they had been gone?? GIR could have led her to Mexico by now in search of burritos!!!!! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!!!!!!!
Then there was the OTHER possibility. One that frightened Zim even more.......
Foi had run away.
It could have happened, right? He HAD kicked her out on the sidewalk....... No! No regrets!! But, what would he tell the Tallests if they checked in to see if she was alright?! He could see it now......
' "So, Zim, how is that mate we entrusted to you because we knew you'd take excellent care of her and stuff?"
Zim figited nervously... "Oh, um, well...the thing is...I sorta'...lost her..."
His Tallests looked at him angrily. Purple shook his head, "You stink! Don't call us again ever and stuff!!!!"
"NOOOOO!!!!" the Invader cried, before falling to the floor and writhing pathetically, "WHY MUST THIS BEEEE??!!!!!!!!!!!!" '
Never!! He would NOT be humiliated in front of his leaders! Runaway or not, Foi had to learn who was boss---ZIM!!!!
Still muttering curses, he stalked out the door.
&&
Laughter rang throughout the crisp fall air as two figures raced down a deserted sidestreet, crunching the dead leaves happily as they went.
Sunshine was a beautiful thing.
GIR twirled, the frozen concoction inside his cup slogging, "Chocolate Peanut Butteeeeerrrrrr!!!!" He screeched. Beside him, Foi was sprinting down the sidewalk and giggling; lost in the moment. "Chocolate Peanut Butteeeeerrrr!!" She echoed, suddenly stopping to gaze at a hideous carved pumpkin. "Hey, GIR! What is that?"
"Issa' Jackerlant'n!!!" He slurred giddily, "It keeps da' Holloweenies away!!"
"Holloweenies?"
"Ghosties!!!"
"Do you believe in ghosts, GIR?"
"Uh-huh!!"
"Me too!!!"
Once again in hysterics, the two collapsed in a huge pyramid of firey red foliage, "Earth is cool...." Foi finally managed, "It's too bad Zim has to destroy it."
"Hmm...."
"I guess it doesn't really matter, though. I mean, as long as we're enjoying it now. Besides, after Earth's gone, I'm sure Zim'll find us a better place to live!"
"SuckMonkey!!!!"
She snickered, and the two lay in silence once again. "....You think Master's up yet?" GIR asked lazily, lolling his shiny head to the side.
"I don't know, why don't you ask him?"
The suggestion was not from his new pal.
No.
It was coming from one extremely irate invader.
"Zim?" Foi sat up in surprise, "What are you doing here?"
Poor Foi, if only she were not so oblivious.....
Her mate's voice was dealthly quiet... "What am I doing? What am I DOING?!!" and then it rose to, 'Gah-My-Ears-Are-Bleeeediiinnnggg!!!!!' levels; causing a car alarm to go off and several small animals nearby to explode messily.
"Mm....."
"-I- have been going all through this DISGUSTING city LOOKING for YOU!!!!!!" He spat, "Where have you BEEN?!?!"
Both GIR and Foi casually replied with the most overused word in this chapter: "SuckMonkey."
Zim twitched in near explodey-ness, "Who said you could go, Foi? Huh? WHO?!"
"My magical head cupcakes!!! They know ALL!!"
"Well, tell your 'Magic Head Cupcakes' that the next time you leave without my premission.... I will personally dump a bucket of WATER OVER YOU!!!!!!!"
"SuckMonkey water?!"
"Be quiet, GIR!!!"
Foi looked at her little companion in confusion, "But... GIR told me you wouldn't mind if I left!"
"Foi... GIR is insane!!"
The two Irkens watched as the little robot stared vacantly into space, as if listening to magical head cupcakes of his own....
Which, in reality, he probably was.
Zim rolled his eyes, utterly annoyed, "Just don't run off again! Alright?!"
"Mm'kay!"
With one more disgusted flick of his antennae, he motioned for his mate to follow him. "Come along."
"Hey, Zim! My cupcakes just reminded me of something!!"
"What now?"
"I saw a horrible Jackerlant'n thingy today!" She chirped merrily, "It was really ugly... Looked just like you!"
&&
High up in a dry old tree, a black trenchcoat rustled ominously..........
Maybe because it was the only thing IN the tree.
"Man, Gaz! I can't believe you!!"
Down below the 'ominous' trenchcoat stood a shivering, spikey-haired boy in a blue shirt.
"I told you you'd pay for my soda!!!" Afore mentioned sister yelled back.
"That was a WEEK ago!!"
"Next time I'll just decapitate you on the spot!!! You like that better?!!"
Growling, Dib straddled the tree and began his grueling climb to the top. It wasn't until halfway up, though, that he heard the voices...
"Foi, keep up!!!"
"When I get home, can I have some siasche marzpe?!"
"TAAACCOOOOSSSS!!!!!!!"
He almost fell in surprise. He knew those voices! ...Well, the first and last, anyway.
ZIM!!!
After a whole year, the alien menace was back! And, from what Dib could see, he had brought a friend. A pretty, chocolate-haired girl that couldn't have even been Gaz's hieght.
Now, Dib, being Dib, decided to execute one of his trademark, 'Spankin' Dib Moves!!!'. Namely,the 'jump-and-roll-landing-expertly-on-your-feet-in-front-of-your-enemy' move, as seen in "Rise of the Zit-Boy", only with a bit more class.
Unfortunatly, Dib, being Dib, forgot that humans are only capable of so much. Namely, they cannot jump from the tops of high trees with the grace of a flying squirrel.
In fact, they aren't that graceful at all.
Zim and Foi watched in wonder and amusement--Oh! SO much amusement!!--as a big-headed boy, tangled in black cloth and twigs, flopped face-down on the cement walk before them.
But, since this is a cartoon, Dib was not seriously injured. Didn't even have a nosebleed. Woo-boy, I wish I were a cartoon!!
He stood up, trenchcoat in hand, and looked his rival in the eye, "Zim..."
Said Zim narrowed his eyes, sorely disappionted that his arch enemy was still alive. "Dib-human..."
Foi, sensing something momentous was about to happen, naturally consulted her magical frosted cupcakes, "I wish I had some marzpe, Lemon... No, Vanilla, that's a stupid idea.... Yeah, you're right Strawberry..."
Meanwhile, GIR danced gleefully in the background.
"SUCKMONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
&&&
(Author's Note: Yay!! 'Dis chapter took FOREVER to write. Mainly because I had one version all written, hated it, and then wrote an entirely new one. Oh well. I like this one much better, so it worked out! Thank You, Lord!!
Dib: (Just gets done reading Part 2.) HEY!!!
What? I put you in it!
Dib: You made me look STUPID!!!!!
What?? When?
Dib: "Dib, being Dib, decided to execute one of his 'Spankin' Dib Moves!!!' "?! "Unfortunatly, Dib, being Dib, forgot not to jump out of a TREE."?!
I didn't write it that way. And besides, you WOULD have jumped, I know you.
Dib: LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once again, faithful readers, R&R!! Yummy, MAGIC FROSTED CUPCAKES to you aaallll!!! And Dib'll be okay soon. Him sufferin' from denial. Aren't ya', Dibby?
Dib: .....You jerk. )
