Disclaimer: This may come as the ultimate shocker…but I DON'T OWN XENOSAGA! I also don't own the brand jello.
Luna: As promised this chapter will be longer to make up for the shortness of the last one! Enjoy! Chapter 5: Zenosaga
Proud of his gift he gave to Shion, Chaos decided to give Shion another gift. He made his way to the dessert bar, grabbed some green jello and whipped cream. So, you say, What's the big deal? Chaos is just going to eat a nice dessert, right? Wrong.
He took his jello to Shion's seat and got to work.
Meanwhile…
Shion was confused.
A half-naked Albedo had popped out of a giant cake and was dancing…er…suggestively around Allen. Allen, who was now eating green jello.
" Happy birthday!" cried Ziggy, " Have you seen Porky?"
" No…" she answered, knowing better not to question the cyborg's strange obsession with the pig.
" Oh…Hey! A buffet!" said Ziggy, brightening.
Shion was about to tell him that since he was a cyborg that he couldn't eat, but why spoil his fun?
Albedo moved next to Shion and began dancing. Or having a seizure. Depending on what angle you were looking at him from.
" Feel the groove of U-DO!" cackled Albedo, doing the hokey-pokey.
" What?" asked Shion.
" Feel the groove of U-DO!"
" Do what?"
" U-DO!"
" I do what?"
" No! U-DO! The evil thing that made Gnosis…and stuff."
" Who? I most certainly do not do anybody!"
" Are we talking about the same thing here?"
" I…don't know."
" Yes, you do!"
" ARGHHH!"
Fuming, Shion decided to take her seat. Or kick Albedo in the crouch. Despite how she was tempted to do the 2nd choice, that crazy Realian; Sally, was hovering about. Shion wasn't really into getting into a brawl on her birthday. So she took her seat. The minute she sat down, something wasn't right. The seat was…squishy and cold. Shion shot up and looked at her chair.
The chair was covered in green jello.
And most of it now took residence on her butt.
The one person seen with such an offensive dessert was Allen. And Shion raced up to him, in a rage.
" Allen!" cried Shion.
She slapped him, causing Allen to drop his wonderful dessert.
" Ow! What was that for?" asked a bewildered and jello deprived Allen.
" Take a good look at this!" she cried, and pointed to her green stained backside.
Allen stared.
" No! Perv!" said Shion, and smacked him, " You put it there! And now its all over me!"
" I swear I didn't, Chief!" said Allen, about to cry.
Shion responded by kicking him in the shin, which sent Allen flying headfirst into the punch bowl. Which made several bystanders back away so not to incur the wrath of Shion.
Lets see what happened to Canaan…What? You don't care? TOO BAD!
Canaan found himself on the Elsa again, along with his fellow basically useless characters : Hammer, Tony, Captain, Shelly, Mary, Miyuki and that Helmer guy.
" Here's your roles!" cried Miyuki, each handing them a sheet of paper, " Shelly, your TOS-WOS, the android; Mary's DODO, The Captain's Miggy, Hammer's junior and Canaan's calamity. Oh, and Helmer's a random Gnosis. And I'm Ghion! Act one, scene 2. ACTION!"
With those words, the tape began recording. Ghion shouted, " Help! TOS-WOS! A Gnosis!"
The 'Gnosis' was actually Helmer with a sheet over his head. Spooky.
Shelly, decked out in silver aluminum foil, shouted, " Stand back, Ghion."
She punched Helmer, uh, I mean; the Gnosis, lightly.
" Ouch!" screamed Helmer, and fell backwards.
" Thank you, TOS-WOS," said Ghion, and faked a smile.
" I am calamity," recited Canaan, blanky, " Insert profound phrase here."
" Cut!" screamed Ghion, " Your supposed to say something profound!"
" Don't poke cactus, their pricky, " said Canaan, " And don't drink smoothies too fast, or you'll get a brain freeze."
" Ugh. It'll have to do." said Ghion, with a sigh.
Back to the actual party…
Chaos grabbed large portions of food to eat. And he purposely sprinkled crumbles where ever he went. Chaos shoved food down his throat, digested, and looked for more victims.
He saw Allen and Jr. at the bar, and got close enough to eavesdrop.
" Come on!" cried Jr., " I want liquor! Booze! Alcohol! I'm twenty frigin seven!"
" Sorry kid," said the barkeep, " I can give you a Shirley Temple, though."
" No!" said Jr., pissed, " I want BOOZE! I've been 12 for 14 years. 14!"
" Uh…I think you had enough," said the barkeep.
" What? I haven't even gotten drunk yet!"
" But you sure act like it."
" Shutup!" cried Jr., " I'll just have the damn Shirley Temple."
Allen began gulping down massive amounts of beer. Okay, 2 swings.
Suspecting Allen was already under the influence, Chaos kindly suggested, " Allen, I bet Shion would love it if you did some karaoke in her name."
" Sounds great!" said Allen, and staggered off in a drunken stupor for the nearest microphone.
Luna: Okay, next Chapter is : Allen plus singing equals BAD.
