Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga, the song lyrics or rights to the song " Lonely" or anything else, like that verse from that other song that I can't even remember the name of.
Luna: SORRY! Its been a long while since I updated due to writer's block and lack of reviews and other projects…Just read! And this would've been up a lot sooner if ALLOWED ME TO POST! It kept saying something about HTML over load…or something.
Chapter 6: Allen plus singing equals BAD
Allen stumbled to the microphone, grinning.
" What are you doing?" asked Jin, confused.
" I'm gonna sing a song for Shion!" said Allen, " To confess my love for her!"
" Uh…okay." said Jin, " But I had absolutely nothing to do with this."
Allen grabbed the microphone and tapped it.
" Testing, 1...3...78...9 " slurred Allen.
Everyone turned to stare at Allen, who gave an idiotic smile and waved.
" This song is dedicated to a very special lady," said Allen, who jerked his head to Shion and winked.
" This means all cameras and videotapes should be taken out now for blackmail purposes," said Jin.
" But!" piped up MOMO from a distance, " Cameras and videotapes don't exist!"
" They do now!" I shouted.
" Creepy voice!" cried MOMO, and hid under a nearby table.
Music blared as Allen sang, " I'm so lonely, I am so lonely, I have nobody to call my own…Listen up you players. I woke up one morning after a massive hangover and thought last night was a twisted dream. Then it was a twisted dream. Then I realized it was true, I played Shion the whole way through. I was acting a fool, calling her 'Chief' then one think led to another; got drunk and passed out. I am so lonely. I have nobody, to call my own…"
Shion blushed and shrunk in her seat.
" Shionn…" slurred Allen, " I love-"
Suddenly, he collapsed in a drunken heap.
Silence fell over the room.
" Ladies and Gentlemen, a round of applause for Allen!" said Jin, faking a smile.
People cautiously clapped, as Chaos ran off to grab Allen and embarrass him some more.
Meanwhile…
Albedo was helping himself to some pigs in a blanket at the buffet.
" Hey, what's this?" asked Ziggy, behind him.
" Pigs in a blanket," answered everyone's favorite, sadistic madman.
" What? They KILLED PORKY!" screamed Ziggy.
" Pigs in a blanket is actually just hot dogs wrapped in a flaky, crispy layer," said Albedo.
" You KILLED PORKY!" screamed Ziggy.
Ziggy tackled Albedo who landed on the floor with a thud.
" This is for pig-napping!" he cried, landing a punch.
Albedo struggled but couldn't move. They were in an…awkward position.
" This is for eating Porky!"
Another punch.
" And this is for me running out of lines to say!"
A third punch.
" STOP!" cried a voice.
A voice that pierced through everyone's ears, shattering glass and eardrum alike. A sound that paralyzed everyone to the spot.
" MOMO?" asked Ziggy.
" No! Stop!" she cried, " We're all best friends! Forever! Like me and Canaan!"
" What!" asked Canaan, " I have basically nothing to do with anything, why am I ALWAYS mentioned?"
MOMO responded by hugging our pretty little Realian, and said, " Cause we're Realians!"
" But…he ate Porky!" protested Ziggy.
" Oh. In that case, ATTACK!" screeched MOMO.
" Wait!" said Albedo, " I'm not that bad of a guy! I like pina-colas and getting caught in the rain! And poetry…Ah…poetry. Like emotional verses such as Cat is Fat, Cat lays on Mat. Cat chases Rat that gets bludgeoned with a Bat!"
Everyone blinked. Jin shed a tear and clapped. While everyone was either moved by Albedo's very emotional poetry or confused by it, he took off. Ziggy and MOMO ran close behind, along with random other people who mistook it for a Conga line.
Luna: Special Thanks to anyone who still bothers to read and/ or review it. Next Chapter: The ancient Ritual of Gift Opening.
