Disclaimer: No! I don't own XENOSAGA! Or Namco. In any way. Shape. Or Form.
Luna: WOW! A LOT OF REVIEWS! Thank you all for your reviews:: sheds a tear of happiness: Now its time for THE ANCIENT RITUAL OF GIFT OPENING! DUN DUN DUN.
Chapter 7: The Ancient Ritual Of Gift Opening
" Everyone gather together for the best part of the party! Gift opening!" cried Jin.
Shion smiled brightly, unaware of the total amount of suck that was going to happen.
Jin also was aware of how doomed he was. MOMO and Ziggy returned from chasing a scantily clad Albedo, and MOMO was overjoyed. Then again, when wasn't she overjoyed?
" Shion!" cried MOMO, " Open my present first!"
Jin sighed in relief as Shion grabbed the box from MOMO's outstretched hands. She ripped through the paper like a rabid animal on crack, to find the contents to be a stuffed animal. A fluffy, dog stuffed animal. With it's head ripped clean off.
" Thanks MOMO," said Shion, faking a smile, " It's…nice."
" His name is Mr. Muffin!" gushed MOMO, proudly, " And he's part of the 'oh-so-soft-and-sweet-that-you-suddenly-have-an-urge-to-puke' collection."
KOS-MOS was next in line to hand over her gift.
" An item to celebrate the day of your creation," said KOS-MOS, " Although celebrating such a day is pointless since all humans were born to die; therefore you'll die cold, alone and afraid-"
" Okay! WE get it! Now shut up, kill joy…" said Shion, rolling her eyes.
She opened the box and gasped.
To give this story a suspenseful feel, we'll take a short break and spy on Allen's demise. What's that you say? You don't care about Allen? Well, honestly, I don't either. But this is an attempt to spice things up, so just pretend to care.
Meanwhile…
Chaos was in the men's bathroom with a knocked out Allen. All alone. Chaos ripped off Allen's clothes, excited about-wait! It's not what you think, I swear!
Chaos slipped a dress on Allen, a kinky, red polka dotted one. Then he sloppily applied mascara and red lipstick on him. And planned to humiliate him, publicly.
Ha! And you all thought it was something else, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU!
With a malicious grin, Chaos dragged Allen back to the party and left him there.
At the party…
It was her old glasses, good as new.
" But how?" asked Shion, " Allen crushed them with his incredibly large feet!"
" Using my T-ARTS 3437483784395938-" began KOS-MOS.
" Huh?"
" I repaired them."
" But I don't need them now, I'm cool!" said Shion, " Cool people don't need glasses."
" Or maybe its because Namco tried to get Shion to look 'hotter' by making her eyesight suddenly better so more people would buy it," I said, " But I would've bought it if Canaan's face was on the cover…"
" THE VOICE!" cried Jin, " IT HAS COME TO INVOKE JUDGEMENT UPON US ALL!"
Everyone ignored him.
" How does 'coolness' affect one's vision?" asked KOS-MOS.
Jin was next on the roulette of death known as 'presenting Shion with a gift.'
Shion's face fell when she saw it was a book. And then she read the title.
" JIN! YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED!" she screamed.
But before Jin's life came to an abrupt end, Jr. noticed something.
" Hey! Who's that pretty girl?" asked Jr., pointing.
That pretty girl was wearing a red-polka dotted dress. And that pretty 'girl' wasn't a girl at all. It was Allen.
Allen was fully awake, and still a tad tipsy.
" Hey…you people…" he slurred.
" Wait…you're a…man?" asked Jr. in shock.
" Allen, that's an interesting choice of attire," said Jin, " Come and present your gift. HURRY!"
" You're a man." repeated Jr., in shock.
Allen stumbled to Shion, everyone snickering about Allen's interesting clothes. Shion sighed. She should've known this would happen.
" You're a man." repeated Jr., again; as if to justify it.
Allen handed her the gift, and Jr. said , " You're a man."
" WE GET IT!" hollered Ziggy, " Allen is a man, no FREAKING duh!"
Jr. ran off in horror, realizing that he called a man in drag 'pretty'.
Shion opened the present, and stared. It was the Zohar necklace, no surprise there. But she just kept staring at it, without a word. Allen had begun to sober up, and noticed this.
" Shion, what's wrong?" he asked.
" You, you're sick!" she said, finally, " I can't believe you! The Zohar was were Feb's sister's were trapped in, all disfigured and suffering. The Zohar is a memory of that! The stupid piece of gold…HOW COULD YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"
" I-I'm sorry…" said Allen, surprised at her outburst.
Shion ran off , in tears; not looking back.
" Shion!" cried Allen, " Wait! Am I wearing a dress?"
Meanwhile…
Canaan had just returned from the bathroom. And yes, those curious; Realians do have nature call sometimes. Shion was running down the hall the same time as him; and crashed into him.
" I'm sorry…" she said, tears still in her eyes.
" You okay?" asked Canaan, breaking a very valid rule of machoness.
" Fine…" Shion answered, wiping some tears away.
Canaan didn't know what to do, so he handed her his gift. Shion opened it half-heartily, and smiled.
It was socks.
" I love it!" she cried, and flung her arms around him.
Cherry blossom flowers suddenly began falling around them, to set the moment. Ahh…anime clichés are fun; aren't they?
" You…do?" asked Canaan, awkward.
" Yes!" said Shion, " It's practical, useable, and unoffending! I think I found the perfect man!"
A zoom in on Canaan's face. A zoom in on Shion's. In that lower left area you can see the zit on her chin that the white blood cells worked so hard to fight off…oops, I'm supposed to do a love scene and I screwed it up. Oh well…
Anyway, Shion's face inched closer to Canaan, and he suddenly pulled back. And sneezed.
" Damn cherry blossoms," said Canaan, " I'm allergic to them. Where did they come from anyway?"
" I don't know…" admitted Shion, " But despite the fact that you sneezed and ruined our moment, I'm willing to give it another shot."
She hugged him tighter, as Allen saw it all…
Luna: Aha! Bet you didn't see that coming! Next Chapter??? Or I haven't thought of a title yet! Review!
