Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga or Captain Planet. Nor do I want to. : shudders:
Luna: This chapter here is extra random! Thank you all kindly for the reviews! And I would've updated sooner if my life wasn't so annoyingly BUSY!
Chapter 8: Allen's REVENGE!
Allen had seen it all. Shion in Canaan's arms. The random cherry blossoms. The socks. And mostly the cherry blossoms that randomly appeared, to set the mood. Just where did they come from?
Allen felt betrayed. Canaan, who Allen considered a friend; stole Shion. Well, not that Shion was his anyway, but you get the point. He needed REVENGE! So he crept off to see an old friend…
Meanwhile…
Shion and Canaan walked back to the party hall, to find everyone doing the limbo.
" Hey, Shion," said Ziggy, " Are you okay?"
" I am now," said Shion, squeezing Canaan's hand in a cute way that may have cut off his circulation.
" YOU DON'T DERSERVE HIM!" I screamed, suddenly.
" THE VOICEEEE!" wailed Jin, " It has come for us!"
" Good! Now here's my gift to you!" said Ziggy, ignoring me; as usual.
He handed her a box which Shion opened. It held 5 gold rings, each with a different symbol.
Shion took one out, examined it and said, " Earth?"
" Fire…" said Canaan, staring at one.
" Wind!" cried Jin, holding another ring.
" Water." said KOS-MOS.
" Heart!" cried MOMO.
And suddenly, the rings glowed and formed a blue person with green hair; in tights.
" With your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!" he cried.
Everyone stared.
" Ziggy, is this part of my present?" asked Shion.
" Wait! Your not the Planteers!" said Captain Planet.
" Who are you?" asked Canaan, " And more importantly, what the hell are you?"
" The power is yours!" he said.
" KOS-MOS, scan this guy." said Shion.
" 50 carbon based life form, 50 half-baked idea for a crappy show made by tree-hugging hippies on an acid trip." she said.
" Well, I guess I crashed the party." said Captain Planet, with a chuckle.
No one laughed.
" Tough crowd…"
" Well, who wants cake?" asked Jin.
There was mummers of agreement from the crowd.
" Hopefully its not curry flavored…" mumbled Shion.
Just then, Allen busted into the hall again.
" Guess what?" he cried.
Everyone was too busy shoveling cake down their throats. Ziggy went to grab a paper plate as Captain Planet said, " No! Using paper plates will hurt the environment! You'll kill baby seals and deplete the ozone layer!"
" All the seals are extinct." said Ziggy, " And our ozone layer is gone."
Captain Planet broke down into tears and shouted, " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
" Argh! Everyone!" said Allen, again, " I have an announcement!"
Still, people were having seconds and thirds.
" Hey! This whole ignoring thing is getting old so listen to Allen already!" I said, annoyed.
Everyone looked at Allen.
Miyuki was right beside him with a pretty, shiny ring.
" I asked Miyuki to marry me!" he said, " And we're getting married, right here and now!"
" Isn't he the most cutest, wuddle thing?" asked Miyuki, smiling, " And I'm marrying him because of true love! TRUE LOVEEE!"
These were the responses from the crowd:
" Congrats!" said MOMO, " It's going to be wonderful! With the flowers and stuff! YAY FLOWERS IN STUFF!"
All in favor of throwing MOMO into the nearest black hole, say 'I'. Anyway, back to the story…
" It is beneficial for you to reproduce to stop the extinction of your species." said KOS-MOS.
" Woot. Now pass the cake!" said Ziggy.
" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Captain Planet.
" This is…sudden." said Jin.
The whole time, Allen didn't see Shion or Canaan around. They were off, uh, talking. Yeah…talking. Anyway, you may ask me, " Luna-Starr, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHATS UP WITH THE RANDOM MARRIAGE?" Well, you see, to answer that question, we'll have to have a flashback. During the time when Capt. Idiot was released, Allen had asked advice of the worst type…
Flashback!
Allen decided to find Chaos and ask him for advice on REVENGE! So he found our silver-haired mischief maker loitering, he was living on the edge..
" Chaos, I want revenge on Shion and Canaan for betraying me," he said, " Teach me your ways!"
Unknown to Allen, Chaos saw this as a perfect opportunity to take advantage of him. And make a fool of him. Big time.
" Ask Miyuki to get married." Chaos responded.
" What!"
" You heard me. Once you two get married, Shion will get jealous and realize how much she misses you. And at the last second, when the priest says ' If anyone has a reason this 2 should not be wed, speak now'; she'll get up and speak her love for you."
" Oh…I see…But will Miyuki agree?"
" …Well, just tell her Mr. Abraham Lincoln says you should."
" Okay! Thanks Chaos!"
And Allen, our dumb friend, went along his merry way. Until he realized that Mr. Abe Lincoln was a metaphor for 5 dollars. Or was it 10...? He just gave her 39 dollars. And with that, the wheels were in motion for Allen's ultimate 'revenge.'
Luna: Those confused on who Captain Planet is, he's from a kid's show in the early 90's. Very corny and incredibly stupid, I threw him in there for no apparent reason. Next Chapter: The wedding.
