Disclaimer: No no, NOOOO! I most certainly do not own Xenosaga OR Captain Planet. And even if I did, I would be too embarrassed to admit I owned Capt. Planet. Which I don't. Or the song ' Stop in the name of Love'. Or anything of or from " The Chip N Dales corporation" : if that's how u spell it:
Luna: The last Chapter…: sheds a tear: Anyway, to AmisstheAries: Heheh, good idea! Don't worry, my pretty Canaan will not end up w/ a total idiot like Shion; even if it means I have to make it look like an accident…Thanks for your review, and I hope you update your fic soon. And its interesting to see I'm not the only one who knows the Captain Planet theme song. SAVE THE TREES, EVERYONE! All reviewers: Thanks again for your support! Now relax, get some popcorn and witness the depths of Allen's everlasting stupidity!
Chapter 9: The Wedding
Shion and Canaan had just gotten back from…talking when they noticed Allen on an altar. Well, it was made of cardboard, but hey; a crappy altar nonetheless. And Miyuki in a wedding dress.
" Hey! What's going on?" asked Shion.
" The ocean, the seals, the ozone layer…GONE!" cried Captain Planet, having another compulsive breakdown.
" No…I mean, with the wedding…" said Shion.
" Oh. They're getting married. AND LOOTING AND POLLUTING, IS NOT THE WAY!" said Captain Planet.
Shion blinked. She had no idea that Allen was in love with Miyuki. Maybe he being in love w/ her was a cover-up for him loving Miyuki…? She thought, dumbly.
" Allen, congrats!" she shouted, while clinching to Canaan's arm; as I made a mental note to strangle her as soon as possible.
Allen smiled, inwardly panicking. What if she doesn't say anything to stop it? He thought, in horror, And I'll be married to Miyuki! But Allen, always the dumb optimist; figured that Shion was good at hiding her emotions to make it a big surprise when she protested to the wedding and confessed her undying love for him. Poor, stupid, Allen.
" AHAHAHAHA!" laughed Miyuki, " I am getting married before you, Shion! Sure, you saved the world, er, universe; but you don't have a husband and I will!"
" So?" said Shion, " I have Canaan."
" NOT FOR LONG!" I cried, " You couldn't of picked Jr., Albedo, Ziggy or even incest with Jin.-"
At the mention of incest, several people shrieked in horror and a random lightning bolt struck.
" But no one, NO ONE TAKES MY FAVORITE SECONDARY character!"
" Eh?" said Canaan, " What was that?"
" The wind," said Shion.
" No! NOT THE WIND! THE VOICE! LUNA-STARR!" I cried, annoyed.
Jin screamed in horror. And a pig walked into the hall.
" Porky?" cried Ziggy.
The pig glared at Ziggy and said, " My name is William Redste the 3rd. And I will be the one wedding these 2 young folk."
" But Porky! Your Porky and I love you!" cried Ziggy.
Silence. Complete and total. And no fair viewers, their love was pure and wholesome; not that sick thing you were thinking of!
Porky glared at him, and walked up to the cardboard altar.
" Do you, Allen Ridgely, take Miyuki…uh…does she even have a last name?" asked Porky.
Allen shook his head.
" I do!" shouted Miyuki.
" I do…" said Allen, giving an longing glance to Shion, who was talking to Canaan. And yes, ACTAULLY talking, not the other thing.
" And if someone in this audience has a reason these 2 should not be wed, speak now; or forever hold your peace."
" STOP!" cried Albedo, dressed in a sparkly tux, " IN THE NAME OF LOVE! BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART!"
" How did I break your heart?" asked Porky.
" Sorry. I just wanted to make a grand entrance." said Albedo.
" Oh. So it anybody has a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Allen looked over to Shion, practically begging her to say something. Instead, she grinned and flashed him the thumbs up sign. Allen realized how doomed he was.
10 years later…
Much to everyone's surprise, Allen is still happily married with Miyuki. They have 3 kids, and live in the suburbs.
Captain Planet was killed by KOS-MOS, she poked him; and he died from in his words 'too much pollution'.
MOMO is still 12, as is Jr. Jr.'s an angry, angry little, sweet 12 year old- I mean, man.
Jin finally learned to read, and has even authored his own book called " I can reed!" by Gin Uzki. It was a best seller.
Ziggy finally got over Porky, and found a flying cat instead.
AS for Shion and Canaan, well; CANAAN IS MINE! And Shion has no man! BECAUSE CANAAN IS MINE:: laughs manically: Ahem. Sorry.
Albedo decided to join the Chip N Dales corporation. He gets many dollar bills in his waist band.
Chaos…is…er…some where.
THE END.
Luna: I hoped you liked the ending! And the Chip N Dales corp. : still don't think I spelt it right: is a group of male dancers/strippers. I also have a new Xenosaga fic that will be posted by next week : hopefully: centered around Canaan; and no, its not a parody. Well, I'm off!
