Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.

Summary: Post AtS and BtVS, Faith and Xander are approached by a secret government agency. Surprises all around.

Rating: PG-13

Chapter 27: Drama Goddess?

As they rode along Spike kept the blue arm cradled in his arms like a baby, which Faith couldn't stop laughing about. Xander chose to scowl instead.

Dana was now turned all the way around in her seat watching Spike. Her continued fascination with him was a matter of some annoyance to him.

"What?" he asked sharply.

"You said they destroyed her, and that's why you did what you did to her," said Dana. "But they destroyed Angel too, and you didn't cut him up and drop him in holes."

"It was different," said Spike. "I don't think any of you comprehend just what went on then. It was crazy. I was crazy. She was—"

"Crazy?" offered Xander.

Spike scowled. "A little," he conceded.

"And the only solution was burying her?" asked Xander.

Spike sighed heavily. "I really wish D-boy were here," he said. "He understood. That, and he did most of the work, you know."

"And you cannot imagine how much that doesn't make me feel better," muttered Angel. "He was supposed to be spared my life by the choices I made."

"Didn't work out," said Spike. "It'll never work out. No more than you or I could walk away from it. Even if our powers were taken away, we could never walk away from this. And he still has his powers. He's a hero. A champion. Get over it. He went to Boston, and did more damage there than a busload of Slayers could have—no offense to you Slayers, but someone like him can walk right into the middle of a group of demons and just ask questions."

"Why?" asked Faith. "Is he any less human than me?"

"Well, yeah," said Spike. "He's a freak. A big freak. A bigger freak than me, a bigger freak than Angel. Listen, it's not that we're more dangerous than you, or that we're stronger than you; we're not. It's that we skate the line. You know why Slayers can't kill humans? Because they're pure. Pure power. That's what you are. Pure goodness. We're not. We're the hit men, the bad men, the things that go bump in the night. We're not purity or angels, nothing at all like you!"

Dana stared at him. "I'm pure goodness?"

"You're pure goodness screwed up!" he snarled. "When Slayers touch darkness, like you two, you burn up!"

"Like us?" asked Angel, amused.

"It was the other way around for us," replied Spike. "Things of evil getting touched by the light. Anyway, Illyria is a perfect example of that. How can you connect to her? How can you even understand her? A hell goddess? One of the Old Ones, awoken and stripped of her power? You would just fight her. Go get Olaf the troll god's hammer and pound her. Me an Angel? We took her in. We fought for her."

Dana frowned. "And they call me crazy," she muttered.

"Hey, I was crazy long before you!" growled Spike. "I've been crazy twice, and before that my woman was crazy! So don't you go all 'I'm the crazy one' on me! I know crazy!"

"See what I mean?" said Dana.

"No," said Angel. "Spike. Focus. Illyria. You buried her. Why?"

"Because it was what had to happen," said Spike, as if Angel were insane.

"That's an abstraction," said Angel. "Specifically. Concretely. Why?"

"Because she was going to destroy the world again," said Spike, huffing noisily.

Dana shook her head. "That's not too much better, but it's a start," she said. "Was she evil again? Because if so, I call dibs on killing her."

"You can't kill her," said Spike.

"I beg to differ. Evil, and a demon. I don't even have to get permission from Mister Giles first!"

"I don't mean you aren't allowed, I mean you can't. She's too powerful. D-Boy and I were her only friends, and that's the only reason she let us hack her into small bits and dump her in several locations. And she's still alive, you notice." He waved the arm at Dana. "Not that I wouldn't like to see you try to kill her, it would be pretty funny to watch, but I can't be held responsible for the consequences."

Angel snorted. "Now he's talking about consequences. The world must be ending."

Dana glanced at him. "Hey, no making fun of consequences and crazy people. I'm just getting a handle on them."

"Not your consequences, love, mine," said Spike patiently.

"Spike and consequences. If only Buffy had known," said Xander, sighing dramatically.

Faith jabbed him with an elbow, gently. "Ow," he said, rubbing his stomach.

Spike glanced down at the arm in his lap. He grinned at it suddenly, a wicked grin with a hint of naughtiness. "Of course, the bad guys don't know Illyria's short-circuiting big-time," he said. "They think she's still one of the baddies, one of the nasties."

"And she isn't?" asked Xander.

Spike shrugged. "All a matter of perspective," he muttered.


Connor glanced into the backseat at his sister, who was still fast asleep. "Sarah?" he called gently. "Hey, Sarah?"

She stirred, looking up. "Huuhhhwwasss?" she moaned.

"Yeah, exactly," he said, nodding. "Anyway, we're nearly home. I'm counting on you to protect mom and dad, Sarah. They don't know about the things that stalk the night, not like you and I do. They don't know enough to be afraid. They don't know enough to lock the doors and not invite strangers in."

Sarah scowled, sitting up. "They don't know enough to figure out that their son is actually some vampire freak," she muttered.

"Actually, despite my parentage, I'm not actually—what'd you say? You're not supposed to know that. Nobody knows except me, Angel, and Lorne."

"And all those people you told in that hell dimension who came back. What was her name? Buffy? She mentioned it to me, that the freaky vampire in the basement was your real dad."

"Oh."

Connor drove on silently. His brow pulled down in a brooding expression his father would have been proud of. "You know, family isn't blood," he said finally. "Spike is family, and that isn't blood. Family is commitment. That's why marriage is so important. It's a choice about who you really want your family to be. I've chosen both families, really, my adoptive family and my blood family."

"Are you trying to explain this to me, or you?" asked Sarah. "Because I really don't have a problem with this. Not at all."

"No, it's just a little odd you didn't mention this until now," he replied.

She smirked. "Oooh, secrets?"

He shuddered. "Don't even go there, kid! Secrets… secrets are bad. Very, very bad. I mean, a level of bad you don't understand. A downright Oedipal level of bad."

"You slept with your mother?"

"No, she died when I was born. The one I slept with was my dad's girl, who was possessed by an ancient evil that needed my seed to bring itself into existence."

"Ew!"

"And who had been like a mother to me when I was a baby, although I don't really remember that part."

"EW!"

"Anyway, like I said, secrets are really, really bad."

There was a deeply uncomfortably silence for a while.

"I so don't know you. Ick-boy."

"Ah, you always knew I was ick-boy, even before you knew the details. Besides, it was fated. And really hot."

"I am so telling mom you said that."

"What?"

"I mean it. She is grounding your butt."

"Oh, come on!"


"Somewhere, somebody knows what you're talking about. And they're unhappy."

Spike scowled up at Xander from the empty hole he was crouching in. "Zip it! They already have her head, which means the time bomb is ticking again. It's heart, of course, it's always the heart. That's where the power is."

He had the arm slung over his shoulder, holding the hand. It was flexing occasionally, although to Xander's eye it looked a little weaker.

"They're using Illyria as an Apocalypse starter?" asked Angel, confused.

"Nit," muttered Spike. "They're tearing her apart, trying to turn her against us, to turn her back into the monster she can be."

Angel sighed. "I feel like a dentist trying to get your fangs, Spike!" he said, only distracted a little by the laugh from Xander reminding him that he'd forgotten again that Spike was a human now. "This is, it's just passive-aggressive behavior! Controlling us by withholding things!

Spike scowled at him. "I don't know these things, Angel," he said, struggling to control his voice, trying to keep himself from attacking Angel. "I just know little bits. And I was sort of crazy for a little while, although I got better."

"He's a complete nutter," declared Dana. "Complete and total."

Angel glanced up at the dark sky, closing his eyes. "Sunup in fifteen minutes. I need to find somewhere to stay."

Spike pointed at a nearby warehouse. "Right there. Blast it all! This is turning sour. Angel, can you track her by scent?"

Angel gave him an odd look. "Illyria can be hard to track," he said.

As they moved into the warehouse Angel seemed to deflate a little. "I'm kind of hungry," he said.

"Sod it," muttered Spike. "No more than a pint." He offered his wrist to Angel, who recoiled.

"Spike!" he said, shock written across his face. "You—I can't believe you—stop it!"

Spike laughed at his discomfort. "All right, I'll nip out and find a butcher. Anyone got some kind of bag I can stuff er arm in, take er with me?"

Dana stared at him. "You're going to take a disembodied arm out into the daylight?"

"I can't think of anything else to do," said Spike. "Hope you don't mind if I borrow your car, wanker."

Angel tossed him the keys. "You get a scratch on the paint, I get a pound of flesh," he muttered.

Spike grinned. "Is it even your car?"

"Buffy's," said Angel. "Which makes it oh so much worse."

Xander thought about that for a second. "How on earth did you get Buffy's car here from England?" he asked.

"Long story involving an airport, a machine gun, and a clown," said Angel. "Also, Dana helped."

Dana grinned. "I hate clowns," she confided.

Spike sighed. "Crazy girl, you're with me. You lot stay here with Angel. I'll just go take care of things, and we'll be right back." He glanced at Dana. "An her too."


I thought you were dead.

Somehow, she knows that hearing voices is not a good sign.

Did we succeed? Did we fail? Why are you here?

Because hell is here, on earth. Isn't that what the Senior Partners have said all along?

The others never understood, anyway.

How could they? Besides, she was dead, wasn't she?

Dismembered. Bit of a favor, really.

There were other voices, a quiet murmur, and she could feel her heart beating again.

Time bomb.

Last time had been a wave of destruction hard for anyone to comprehend. This time was even worse, a betrayal.

Besides, we won, you know? Took the fight to them and freed Angel.

This world around her seemed to shift and phase, ripples of unreality spreading outward.

You're destroying the world.

She was dying.

Cookie cutter ideas, cookie cutter minds! Do they even know what insanity is?

She was dying, and they'd broken his mind with their infliction of a gift never meant for him. She wanted to laugh out loud, since she finally got the joke, but it was too late.

I ditched the others, and I'm coming to find you.

They wouldn't have understood anyway.


"I asked you to come with me because you're kind of crazy," said Spike.

Dana frowned at him. "And that's supposed to reassure me?"

"Where we're going, no sane man would follow," said Spike. "Of course, we're not going there alone. That would be nuts."

"Where are we going?" asked Dana.

"Just up to Sunnydale," replied Spike. "That's where I died the second time. Two out of three. Heh. I buried part of her there."

"Which part?"

"The other arm."

"And they don't have it?"

"Of course they don't have it yet! I can tell."

"How?"

"I'm in psychic communication with Illyria."

Dana stared at him. "Wow. You really are crazy."

"Nit!" spat Spike. "Why do you think I have trouble holding on to reality? How do you think I managed to keep powers like these for so long? The Powers That Be, you think they gave me these powers? Screw them. I was the Champion for goodness, but they retired me. Put me out to pasture. Angel hasn't thought about it, or he'd realize it. When I came back, I had no powers. I couldn't have any powers. I was weak. I was human."

"You're not weak now," noted Dana.

"Of course not! I knew what I had to do, and I knew what I would need to do it. Connor and I, we found Blue. She was destroying the world, dying. They'd done things to her… horrible things. We fixed it."

Spike skidded the tires as he entered a parking garage, the tires screeching as they tore across the hot pavement.

"Why are we here?" asked Dana. "What happened to getting blood?"

Spike stopped, idling the motor. "It was a lie, pet. We aren't going to get Angel blood, we're going to go do this thing up proper."

The door behind Dana opened, and Connor slid into the seat behind Spike. "Hey, Spike," said Connor, his voice cool. "Who's this?"

"Crazy Slayer," said Spike. "I figured we could use the firepower."

Connor shrugged. "Whatever you say," he said, but there was just a hint of doubt in his voice.

Dana turned to look at him. "Ah, another human ally. How odd. I guess you know that you're both insane, right?"

Connor glared at her. "I haven't been insane for years!" he complained.

Spike snorted, chuckling. "Common family illness," he said cryptically.

"Denial or insanity?" asked Dana.

"Are you sure she's crazy?" asked Connor, suspicious.

"She's here with us, inn't she?"

"Point."


Angel scratched his head, trying to rid himself of the uneasy feeling that he was missing something. Ever since Spike had left something had been itching in his brain, and he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Xander and Faith were talking in quiet, hushed tones, leaning in close to each other. Angel ignored them.

"And her too," said Angel aloud.

"What?" said Faith, turning to face him. Xander looked annoyed at the intrusion.

"Spike's going to meet Connor," said Angel. "He said Connor was coming here, and he said 'we'll' be coming back, and Dana too."

Faith frowned. "Why would he take Dana to meet Connor?"

Angel grimaced. "Because you or I would have demanded to know why he was heading off for Sunnydale," he said finally.

"What? Sunnydale?" said Xander, surprised. "Why would you say that?"

"Because I rigged the stolen car's LoJack," said Angel, pulling out a tiny handheld monitor from his pocket. "The little idiot didn't even ditch my car."

"Why'd you do that?" asked Faith, standing up.

Angel rolled his eyes. "He has a habit of stealing my cars," he said flatly. "And I had a suspicion he wasn't going to be straight with me."

Xander stared at him. "You don't trust Spike!" he blurted out.

"Of course not."

"Yes!" crowed Xander, jumping up and dancing around. "I'm not the only one! I'm not the only one!"

Faith stood up, stretching slowly, a dangerous look on her face. "What's going on here?" she asked Angel. Angel stood up, heaving a sigh.

"I don't think Spike is evil," he said. "I assume that's what you're asking. But Spike is… well, he's unstable. A little crazy. And maybe that's good—who else would break into hell to save me? But at the same time, I don't see any good end from this."

Faith shook her head. "No! Spike isn't lying to us. He couldn't be."

"I didn't say he was lying," said Angel. "I said he's keeping us out of this. Probably to protect us."

"Protect us?" said Xander, sobering suddenly. "Why?"

"Because it was Illyria who killed me, and who killed him," said Angel. "He doesn't think I remember, but I do. They turned her against us somehow. She was still standing when I died. He said it himself; he and Connor dealt with her later, chopping her up. And he wouldn't explain that, no matter how hard I pressed. They're resurrecting her to kill us, and he's trying to protect us. And I have to protect him."

"Why?" asked Xander.

"Because he's only human," said Angel. "Because he died protecting me last time. Because he brought me back from hell. Because he's the only one left, the last of my family, besides my son. And because he took my son with him. And besides all that, he took a crazy Slayer with him for backup."

Xander thought about it. "Ugh," he said finally. "I'm about to go save Spike. I don't think it gets any worse than this."