Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.
Summary: Post AtS and BtVS, Faith and Xander are approached by a secret government agency. Surprises all around.
Rating: PG-13
Chapter 28: The goddess in question
Connor leaned forward across the back seat, putting his head between Spike and Dana. "So, I'm Connor," he said, offering her his hand. She stared at it uncertainly, her big eyes wide. "You're supposed to take it and shake it gently," he prompted.
"Oh, right," she said, taking it awkwardly and letting go of it quickly.
Connor grinned. "No worries. I'm used to insane people. I had to put up with Spike after he became human."
Spike sighed. "About an hour, and we'll be in Sunnydale," he reported.
"What then?" asked Dana.
"Armed with her arms…pun intended…we face off with her captors," said Connor.
"Why do we need her arms?" asked Dana.
Spike chuckled, shifting gears. "It's a rather long story, one that would probably bore you to tears," he said.
Connor sighed. "My girlfriend broke up with me," he said, changing the subject.
"Secret identity bit get to her? You should have told her," said Spike. "Total honesty. She might think you were a raving loon, but it's better than losing her, right?"
"I think I might," said Connor.
There was a long silence for a moment, broken only by the occasional chatter between Spike and Connor as they argued about their route and their destination. Dana was having trouble putting her finger on exactly what bothered her about their rapid-fire exchanges.
"You talk like you know each other," she said finally.
"Well, we are sort of brothers, or something," said Spike.
"My father was your grand-sire," said Connor. "So I'm your uncle!"
"And your mum was my great-grand-sire, so you're my brother. But she was also my sire's childe, which makes you my nephew. I'm your uncle and you're my uncle."
"Ooh, good one. I think I'm also sort of your brother."
"Brother? How do you figure that?"
"Well, Dru sired Darla who had me. Dru sired you. Angelus sired Dru and had me. So he's my dad, my great-grand-dad, and I think—since Darla sired him—my brother too. And since Darla sired him and he sired Dru and she sired you and Sired Darla who then had me, that makes me your brother."
Spike thought about the twisted logic. "That doesn't make any bloody sense."
"No, but it adds a sort of metaphorical depth, don't you think?"
"What?"
"Well, we were both thorn's in Angel's side. We both tormented him thoroughly. He treated us both like a kid."
"Although with me there's a distinctly Oedipal flavor, since we both loved the same woman," pointed out Spike.
"Hey, me too!" said Connor, miming a finger-snapping look of shock. "Imagine that!"
Dana stared at them. "This is gross, and icky, and wrong," she said.
"Could be worse," said Spike.
"How!" she demanded, affronted.
"I could mention that one time with Angel…"
"Oh my god!" said Connor.
line break-
Look, I'm going to need everything this time, everything. Everything you never gave me.
She can't love. That's the problem with these human things, and the half-breed vampires. They have a range and depth of emotion that she would have thought impossible. It infects her. Infests her.
Bloody hell, I don't need your love! I've already had too much love for one man, or one beast, whatever I am.
And now she found herself all too human, an evolutionary step backwards. Was that how they had begun to destroy the world, by changing her in the first place? Or was that just an accident?
I believe in accidents. But not in coincidence. They brought you here, Knox brought you here. It was an accident that you chose us over him. It was an accident that you stood with us. No coincidence that they found a way to use you.
She hadn't heard his voice in a long time. Only now that he had recovered a part of her could they have this intimate communication before.
I told you before, we're not intimates. For crying out loud. I'm already buggered by love!
She thinks that maybe some of her feelings are just left over, like a love for the wonderful man who had been so devoted he had even loved her husk, her shell, until his death. But whatever she feels for this pet of hers, it is entirely hers. It is unique. She thinks.
Stay cool. We're there.
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"I wish Angel could have come with us," grumbled Xander, trying to shift into a higher gear. The clutch made a whining noise.
Faith, sitting in the passenger seat, winced. "You want me to drive, X?" she asked.
"It's not me, it's this stupid car," he said. "Couldn't we have stolen a better car? I mean, honestly."
"You steal what you get. It's daylight. He can't."
"Couldn't we stuff him in the backseat under a blanket?"
"Oh, that's good. And when we get out to the desert and that big crater, maybe we'll have a fight in a giant dome to block out the sun so he can help us!" said Faith.
Xander made a noise in his throat that was almost a growl. He hated it when she defended the monsters. He remembered Angel offering him to Spike. He remembered Angel punching him in the face. He remembered Angelus trying to kill Buffy.
It was hard to remember Angel ever trying to help.
"This is nuts," said Faith. "Why can't Spike just be straight with us?"
Xander barked a laugh. "Oh, yes, the girl who neglected to mention to the Scoobies that she was now playing for the other side is going to nitpick little things like taking on the bad-guys singlehandedly! And you're sitting right beside the guy who never told the Scoobies when he was having troubles, heaven forbid! None of us ever tell anyone anything!"
Faith hesitated. "Are we talking about Spike and saving the world, or are we on your issues now?"
"Both. They're very related," Xander assured her.
She gave him a hard look. "Are they?"
"Spike tops my list of issues," said Xander. "Right there. At the top. And I think a lot of my trust issues are because of him too."
"And not me, and that whole strangle-you thing?"
"Well, you helped. But he started it, in all fairness."
"Whoa, hold on. After I slept with you and you tried to save me, I tried to kill you. When did he betray you?"
"Only every single time we gave him an inch. Buffy made a deal with him, told him to get out of Sunnydale. He came back. He was chipped, and we protected him. And he turned us over to Adam. He's a virus, one that always turned on us."
Faith rolled her eyes. "So it just helped your issues that I betrayed you?"
"Yeah," said Xander. "You want irony? Irony is when I turned around and walked out on Anya at the altar. You want to talk betrayal? That was me. I took everything I'd learned and used it to screw up again."
Faith stared at him. "Funny, that's one I've never heard," she said softly.
"Yeah, well, nobody talks about Anya now," said Xander. "I think they're trying to keep from saying something that will make me cry or something. It's crazy."
"Yeah. Any fool can see you aren't going to cry," said Faith.
"Darn skippy."
They drove on, and she watched him out of the corner of her eye.
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"Come on, a vision!" yelled Angel, stared at the ceiling. "Just show me how this all works together! Show me how this makes sense! I swear that I'll do it right!"
There was nothing but silence from above.
"Just a hint what I should do?" he asked, sitting back down in the darkness, staring upward. "Come on, you showed me before that Spike was going to die, you had me save him! Show me what I have to do now! Show me!"
There was nothing.
"Why do you do this to me? Why do you torment me?" he asked, shouting.
"Angel, Angel, Angel," tut-tutted a voice behind him. Angel whirled, staring.
Lindsey stood there, an easy smile on his face.
"You! You're dead!" spat Angel. "Did Wolfram and Hart pull your contract back up?"
"I wish," chuckled Lindsey. "No, I'm sorry to say you saved me from them. I got a full write-off. A chance to redeem myself. A ticket out. A… is that enough clichés?"
"You're working for the Powers? Pull the other one," scoffed Angel.
"I'm sorry, can we take a moment here?" asked Lindsey. "You had me knocked off, you jerk!"
"Can I just say, that was my best decision in years!" snapped Angel.
Lindsey shrugged. "So… destiny. Funny thing, huh, Seer?" He grinned, gloating.
Angel rolled his eyes. "And the Powers chose your ringer for the Champion. Get over it, already!"
"Hm? Spike? Spike is out of the equation," said Lindsey, confused. "No, this is about you, big guy."
Angel scowled at Lindsey. "Spike is the Champion."
For a long moment the ghost stared at the vampire, and there was a very real hatred in his eyes. Finally, Angel spoke again. "Spike has been lying to me?"
Lindsey sighed. "What did he tell you?" he asked, strolling closer. He was wearing a crimson-red shirt, probably to hide the blood stains, Angel thought.
"Don't you know?" taunted Angel.
Lindsey's face twisted. "I'm just a messenger, kid. What did he tell you?"
"That he got my Shanshu," said Angel.
"Yeah, and?" asked Lindsey. "He's human now. No powers. How could he be a Champion? We need somebody who's able to fight, don't we? He did his job. He ended the final Apocalypse. Now, we need you."
Angel sighed, leaning back against the wall. "He still has powers."
"No he doesn't. That's…"
"Impossible?"
Lindsey took a breath. "You know, he totally screwed up the one job I had for him. You know, the one where he was supposed to kill you. So, this wasn't part of the equation. We're ready for you to be both Seer and Champion."
"He lied to us!" snarled Angel, spinning around. Then he turned back. "Then why did the Powers send me the vision to save him?"
Lindsey grinned lazily. "Actually, this is where I point you to a prophecy. You weren't there to save Spike, you know."
"Faith? Xander?" asked Angel, leaning forward.
Lindsey shrugged. "Actually, both. There's a prophecy—"
"I've had it to here with prophecies!" spat Angel.
Lindsey tilted his head back. "Get on it, Angel," he said softly. "It's a prophecy related to your Shanshu prophecy. Very related. Call it the cousin. You can find it in the Boy Watcher's collection."
"Xander?" asked Angel. "He has a collection of prophecies?"
"Yeah," said Lindsey. "By the way, you know why I finally agreed to take this job? They promised I'd never have to talk to you."
Then he turned and walked away, fading away into nothing in the shadows. Angel scoffed. "You call that an exit?"
line break-
Spike watched the sun overhead while Connor and Dana dug the hole deeper, standing on the lip of the crater over them.
Dana glanced up. "Are you going to help us, or what?" she asked.
Connor glanced to Dana. "Don't mind Spike," he said. "This is a little hard for him."
Dana glanced down at the shovel in her hands. "It's kinda hard for me too!" she protested.
Connor leaned closer, and lowered his voice. "Spike's not supposed to be able to do this," he whispered. "She said he couldn't resurrect her, and so… well, he's fighting it. You can see that."
Spike hopped down off the lip, landing beside Connor. "Actually, she's given me a free hand," he said irritably. "I've just been watching for that dragon."
"Dragon?" said Dana, giving a start.
"Bloody thing," muttered Spike. "And have I mentioned how much I hate doing this? I've betrayed the Scooby gang one too many times, and I thought I was over that sort of thing. Now I'm right back where I started."
"Come on, Spike," said Connor. "It's not that bad."
Spike snorted. "Not that bad, the kid says. Right along we've been screwing with their heads. Right from the start we've lied and kept secrets and generally worked towards our own agenda. At some point people are going to start being suspicious of us, and then everything's going to hit the fan."
"Why?" asked Dana, a hard tone in her voice. "What are you hiding?"
"What am I not hiding, pet?" asked Spike. He looked at her, and in the hard slopes and planes of his face she could only see a monster, even if he was human. "I hid my humanity. I hid my powers. I hid my feelings. I hid my goal to save Angel."
"And you hid your goal to save Illyria," said Connor.
He shrugged. "They wouldn't understand," he said.
Connor nodded, continuing to dig. "How could they understand?" he asked. "It's not like we told them."
Spike glared at him. "And, even more importantly, I hid the source of my powers," he pointed out. "I misled them, let them think that I got these powers from some pure source, from the good guys. After all, they'd just get uptight if they knew I was serving some ancient evil force."
"I knew it!" crowed Dana, lifting her shovel like a weapon.
"Hey!" said Connor. "Cool it! Nobody's killing Spike."
She turned to stare at him. "And what would you do about it?" she asked. "You're human."
"Actually, I'm a human child born to two vampires, gifted with powers no mortal should ever have," said Connor. "Except the Slayers, I guess. I'm still iffy on where they get their power."
"Hey!" said Spike. "They're pure. They're goodness! That's where their power comes from!"
"Actually," said Dana, "according to Giles, now we know that the ancient Watchers infused demonic energy in young girls. They chose young girls because they're the best at resisting the evil within, the ones best able to make the right choice despite the power. Or something like that. I think he made it up, and they chose us because they thought they could control us."
Spike stared at her. "You can't be serious!" he protested. "Who came up with this?"
"Apparently Buffy learned it during the battle with the first… first something."
"First Evil," muttered Spike. "You'd think they'd tell me these things before I go of and make a ponce of myself bragging about the purity and goodness and wonderful roots of Slayer power—you see! You're nearer to me and D-Boy than you thought, aren't you? All three of us get our power from something evil!"
Dana stared at him, disturbed by the thought. "Ew!" she said.
Spike laughed. "I was right about Buffy, wasn't I? She had a dark side to her, a demon in her. And I was so wrong to tell her to give into it. Her strength came from that battle, from finding what was good in the evil calling to her!"
Dana stared at him. "Is this one of your touchy-feely speeches?"
Spike groaned, shaking his head. "You need to find your way through the darkness. Faith did. Buffy did. That's what made them strong."
"Strong," said Dana, her eyebrows rising a little. "I'm already strong."
"Not in your fists," said Spike. "Where it really counts. In your heart. In your head."
Dana rolled her eyes a little. "You really are a bit crazy, aren't you?" she asked.
"Bint," he muttered.
line break-
It was over in a dazzling flash of light. A monumental attack of arrogance, a weapon worth dying for.
It wasn't your fault.
She wants to believe him, but the truth is so much worse. She could have resisted, could have stopped them. But by then there was nothing left but the fight.
She wishes she had his confidence.
She stares into the eyes of her captor, the man who would be her friend, and listens to him patter on and on about the nature of good and evil, and her place in the world.
She doesn't like being told her place.
Isn't that the truth! You and me, we got on fine, because neither of us likes being kicked to the curb. And we were, weren't we? Well, that's fine. When this boy gets kicked down, he kicks back!
She should never have agreed to his insane plan, his insane logic. But he is irresistible, a powerful force of nature.
Almost as powerful as herself.
Bloody arrogant bint!
And, like her, he does not sugar-coat the truth. He doesn't wrap pretty lies around the way things are, or what he thinks. He lets it all out.
She smiles, then. She likes that about him, likes the very real way he deals with the world. And her captor misinterprets the smile, thinks that he has struck a nerve, and begins to rant loudly about infestations.
And she's not annoyed any more. Her enemies are all around her, but she has overcome them.
That's the spirit.
