Wednesday February 17, 1998.
00:06 (12:06 am)
Hatori is a bastard.
00:06 (12:06 am)
Wednesday February 17, 1998.
9:56 (9:56 am)
It is very cold today, so I'm staying inside by the kotatsu to stay as warm as possible. Actually, most of our household is tying to get as near the heater as possible. Yuki is draped over the table looking like he's drugged or something watching television. He always looks out of it when he watches TV. Of course, he only looks out of it. Try to attack him and you'll find yourself across the room with a massive bruise on your jaw. If you had a jaw, I mean. And weren't just a book. Never mind.
Shigure is busy with one of his novels. I don't know which kind and I really don't want to ask. Some things even the 'curious' cat is afraid of the answer. Tohru is alternating between her homework and whatever she's cooking in the kitchen. My nose tells me is some kind of stew. Wait. It's miso! I like miso, as long as it's soup. No leeks today. Yes! In your face, Yuki!
I'm currently lying out, practically hidden underneath the thick blanket of the kotatsu while writing this. Well, I was reading, but I found this really interesting bit that I decided I wanted to put in here. I was reading down here before I got this out. I didn't want to be given crap by those bastards. So, I was reading this book when I found this quote by someone called "Mark Twain." A freaking weird name if you ask me. So, anyway, it said, "Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."
I'm not sure what I should think of it. But I thought it interesting.
Tohru is talking about going to a movie with those freaky friends of hers. Yuki's already volunteered to go with her and Shigure's pestering me to go too. I hate movies. I hate sitting in the crowded, dark movie theatre trying to care about stupid make-believe people. I don't see the point of it. Haru tried to explain it to me once. How most people enjoy the escape into a land where their problems don't exist and they know that everything in the movie will turn out alright. Of course, I told him that was stupid. That why would someone watch the stupid thing when they already know what to expect?! I'm not going to the movies. I'm too tired.
I suppose if you had a brain and weren't just a pathetic lump of tree remains than you'd be wondering about my comment I made this morning about Hatori. Hatori is such a bastard. I started this stupid thing as an experiment. Too many thoughts that day. I told Hatori about it and now he'd making write in it every single fucking day! I'm going to have to find a good hiding spot for this thing, in case that Damn fucking Rat tries something. I'd concider getting one with a lock but that sounds too much like a sissy diary to me. I think I'll just hide it in a tree or something. Maybe not, because then it would be hard to get it when it rains or snows or whatever.
Hatori also told me that I seem to be adapting well to my new situation. I'm not sure if he meant here or with my Zodiac form. Whichever it was I wish he wouldn't patronize me like that. I'm not a child to be given false praise to keep me docile. I don't need lies. I hate lies. I cannot express in words how much I hate lies.
I don't lie.
Okay, so maybe I do, but I don't mean it. It's not like I set out to lie. I just get frustrated with the situation and try to misdirect it with whatever comes out of my mouth. Now, that Damn Right lies. Hell, he lies all the damn time. Well, maybe not all the time, but he does a lot. Sure, it's handy and all when he has to explain away the awkward situation our family members tend to find themselves in. I can't do that. I just get all quiet. Or tell them to shut up. It's none of their business!
Everyone in this family lies. It seems to be a geaner… generic trait. Even Hatori lies. Occasionally. He actually the most honest of the lot. I guess that's why I can stand him more than…others. Not much. He's way too stiff and …polite? Formal? Whatever it is he has way too much of it.
Hatori has had his own problems. He wanted to marry this girl, I forget her name, but when he told Akito (he's the Head of the Family. A right bastard), he (Akito, not Hatori) got really pissed. In his temper tantrum, he knocked over a vase and one of the broken shards got into Hatori's eye. He's nearly blind in it now. And somehow, Whats-Her-Name got it into her empty head that it was her fault. Um. How? She was on the other side of the damn room! Because she didn't immediately jump into action to help Hatori's eye? Hell! If I saw my lover's (not that I had one or ever expect too) eye gushing out blood like that I'd be kinda shocked too. The little Drama Queen couldn't get it out of her head that Akito's spoiled and frankly swaggering, kimono-covered dictator with delusions of God-hood behavior was her fault. So, Hatori had to finally erase her memory so she wouldn't kill herself.
Oh, yeah, he has that ability. I say if you're going to be degraded from a dragon to a seahorse you might as well get some cool powers out of the deal.
Since Whats-Her-Name left back home, Hatori has been as cold as ever. He was a little better for a while, but now it seems like he should be twice as cold to make up of his lapse of judgment. Hey, it's not our fault that he was stupid enough to think Akito would let him be happy. He shouldn't try to be so cold to us that we catch pneumonia. He's a doctor for crying out loud. He should be more careful.
I (long scribble that rips part of the page)
(This next bit is written heavily and sloppily, as if written in a great fury) THAT STUPID FUCKING RAT!! I knew I shouldn't have had this thing when he was in the same fucking room! Do ya wanna know why?! HE stole it! He took it right out from under my nose! I swear my head was about to explode! How dare he. It's MINE! Not his! Why does he think that everything he lays his eyes on is his?! This is mine! My words, my thoughts! It's none of his DAMN BUSINESS!
Fortunately, Shigure made him give it back before he could read any of it. I wonder if Hatori told him about this thing. It kinda surprised me that Shigure stood up for me like that. I would have thought that he'd want that Damn fucking Rat to read it aloud. I swear if I'm not forced to write this damned thing I would have burned it.
20:34 (8:34pm)
