Chapter 20: Going to Be Better

I woke up early the next day. Les' had left early again. That was good. I didn't want to face her when she was in a bad mood. I got up and realized I was still in the same clothes from last night. I had fallen asleep on the bed with the tears.

I got up and took a quick shower. I thought that the shower would help me feel better, but it didn't at all.

I got out and grabbed one my button-up shirts. This is one of the shirts that Two-Bit gave me. You can imagine how this made me feel. That was it. I couldn't hang out with Tim Shepard anymore. They were too tuff. And it wasn't me. I was like Sodapop and Ponyboy, and everyone else in the gang.

I walked out the house without even looking for something to eat. Les' probably didn't leave me anything anyway.

In school, I decided that I would talk to Pony and start hanging out with him again. But he wasn't in class. I didn't see him all day. I wondered where he was. When lunch rolled around, I went looking for Two-Bit and Steve. I caught them right in Steve's car about to leave.

"Hey. Hold it," I yelled running towards the car.

Steve looked like he was going to take off, but I think Two-Bit stopped him. I ran up to Two-Bit's side.

"What do you want?" asked Steve in an annoyed voice. I didn't care.

"Where was Pony?"

"He's sick," said Two-Bit lighting a cigarette.

"Sick? Is he alright."

"Like you would care," said Steve. And with that, he drove off.

I stood there. I guessed that was what they thought of me. And Ponyboy was sick. I had to run by the house after school. I know that I'm grounded, but I had to check on him.

I did that after school, I walked straight towards the Curtis house. On the way, Tim caught up with me.

"Hey. Sorry for leaving you," he said.

"Yeah. It's fine. Um, look. I can't hang out with you guys anymore."

"Why not?"
"You guys are too tuff."

Tim smiled.

"Oh. Well. If you need anything. Let us know. It's been good."

I reached the Curtis house. I walked up and knocked on the door. I know usually that we can walk in, but I hadn't been here in so long, that I thought it would be rude. Soda came up to the door.

"Dean!"

"Um. Hi Soda. I heard Ponyboy wasn't feeling well. Can I see him?"

"I guess. He might be asleep."

"Okay."

I walked in and towards the back. I walked into Pony's room. He was asleep. I looked at him. He did need me. I was supposed to be like his brother or a least a good friend. But I wasn't. I stopped hanging with him for my own selfish reasons. I wanted to be more known. I was selfish. Like I was when I was a soc.

"You really hurt him real bad, you know."

I turned around to see Soda leaned against the door. He had a plain look on his face. I could tell that he was disappointed in me also. Man. I hope I don't meet up with Darry anytime soon.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked.

"He has a severe headache. You leaving him brought back some bad memories. Which made his head pains come back."

Now this is my fault. I'm ruining everything. It's crazy. One thing can change everything. My mom losing her job made me a greaser. Meeting Ponyboy, made me happier than I had ever been in my life. And wanting to be tougher, messes up everyone.

"I gotta go," I said walking outside the room. Soda and I didn't even say bye to each other.

I hadn't even bothered to do my homework that night. I was thinking about everyone else. I didn't even hear Les' walk through the door. She walked right into my room.

"How come you didn't come straight home like I told you to?" she said.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I called home and nobody answered. Where were you?"

"Ponyboy wasn't feeling well. I went by to check on him."

She looked at me for a moment. Like she didn't believe me or not.

"Okay," she said in a soft voice. She left.

"How many more weeks do that add on?" I yelled.

"Zero."

I was startled.

"How come?"

She stuck her head in. She had a slight smile.

"I can see that you're starting to do the right thing."

I sat there on the bed. I was going to continue to do the right thing.